Star Trek: Extinction
by Phoenix-cry
Summary: After several Vulcan deaths Spock begins acting increasingly aggressive, until even the crew begin to fear the loyal Vulcan. It becomes clear that Spock is not the only Vulcan affected and that what is left of the species may be in danger of vanishing.
1. Chapter 1

NOTE from the PHOENIX: Well here we go...the beginning of my first full length Star Trek story. This is set post Star Trek XI by a few years so that the trio has had a little time to get their relationships closer to how they were in TOS. Enjoy!

Star Trek: Extinction

Chapter One

"...and so we surrender his body to rejoin the others."

Spock had paid little attention to the formal ceremony. He stood by the large glass floor to ceiling window staring out into space. Just within view was the immense artificial black hole that had taken his world, visible only from the light distortion it caused commonly known as an Einstein ring. The powerful gravitational field caused a warping effected that created the illusion that space was swirling around the hole in space. Spock watched as the small black coffin that had been jettisoned from the ship disappeared into the dark event horizon.

As the guest began to excuse themselves and exchange small talk Kirk and McCoy separated themselves from the gathering. Coming to a stop about fifty feet from the window they watched their Vulcan friend staring out into the infinate depths of space. Captain and Medical Officer exchanged the same 'what now?' glances with one another.

"Does he look upset?" Kirk whispered to McCoy. "I can never tell."

"No matter how logical and unemotional his thoughts might be it still must be difficult for him. First his father, now this."

"His father was young for a Vulcan to die, wasn't he?"

"By nearly seventy years." Bones confirmed.

"Well...I guess I should go talk to him."

"You need not speak to me if you do not wish, Captain." Spock replied with his back still to the pair.

"I always forget that your ears are sharp in more ways than one." Kirk forced a smile. "Sometimes I swear you can even hear my thoughts."

"Under the right conditions: I can."

"Right, of course, I knew that."

Having been caught talking Kirk and McCoy approached Spock and joined him by the window. No one dared disturb the trio, even Uhura was keeping her distance. Still unsure of what to say Kirk just stared out the window as well. Eventually Bones gave him a nudge.

"So..." Kirk attempted to break the silence "it must be awkward being at your own funeral."

Bones rolled his eyes in disapproval.

"Death comes to all living creatures." Spock replied calmly.

"Yeah, but...don't you think this is a little different?"

"Not at all, Captain."

"I see. Well, in any case, I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for."

The conversation stalled once again. Kirk looked to Bones for help, but he had none to offer. Spock noted their discomfort. He raised an eyebrow in anticipation of them grilling him for his feeling further, however they remained silent. Grateful for their cessation of pointless chatter Spock returned his gaze to the black hole. After a few minutes he had contemplated enough and turned to Kirk.

"Captain, I request to be left at Starbase 17 for one week of shore leave."

"Yes, of course." Kirk nodded. "May I ask, why Starbase 17?"

"It is the closest one. The Vulcan High Council has ordered a census, all Vulcans are to report to the capital city on Natala for the census."

"Starbase 17 is a long way from Natala."

"I will charter a craft."

"Don't be ridiculous, Spock." Kirk smiled. "We'll take you to Natala."

"Our next mission does not take us in that direction, Captain."

"I'll talk to Star Fleet and get us one that does." Kirk shrugged.

"That does not seem appropriate."

"It's call 'calling in a favour' and I have a few to collect on."

"I will not have you altering course for my benefit, it is not proper."

"Proper?" Kirk repeated. "Spock, we've been friends how long now?"

"Two years, seven months, eight days."

"It has to be longer than that. I mean we met at the Academy, that was just over three years ago."

"You asked how long we had been friends," Spock clarified "not how long we had known each other."

"Ouch...but point taken." Kirk smiled. "In any case, since you are my First Officer your safety is my responsibility, and those charter crafts are not always run by the most savory people in the galaxy. The Enterprise will take you to Natala."

"Very well."

"Spock," Bones chimed in "why do you physically have to go to Natala? I know they have a communication system just like everyone else. More than that the High Council knows who you are, why can't they enter you into the census themselves?"

"They have requested physical proof of every Vulcan's existence, no exception."

"Didn't the Federation do a census when they helped relocate the population to Natala three years ago?" Bones asked.

"That was merely an estimate," Spock replied "this is a true registration."

"I'm surprised it has taken this long for the Vulcan Council to require this." Kirk noted.

"They have resisted as long as they dare."

"Why the reluctance?" Bones asked.

"Because it is humiliating to be counted and numbered like cattle."

"So why now?"

"I do not know." Spock answered.

"Any guesses?"

"I do not make guesses, Captain."

"Speculations?"

"The most logical reason: Vulcan survival depends on it."

************


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"Now then, don't you dare go down there, and hook up with some pretty young thing with pointed ears."

"Hook up?" Spock repeated confused.

"Never mind." Uhura chuckled. "Just come back as soon as you can."

"This should not take long."

"Good." Uhura pushed herself up on her tip-toes and kissed Spock's cheek. "I know it's silly, but I'm always nervous when you're on Natala."

"Vulcans do not harm one another, even when we had lives to 'spare'."

"I know, still...be careful."

"Always."

Uhura smiled, knowing that Spock was being completely serious where others would have been sarcastic. His eyes tracked back and forth the way they always did before he displayed any kind of affection towards her. Even within the safety of their quarters he had to ensure that no one was watching. Assured of their privacy he kissed her gently.

"You know if you want to marry me, you're going to have to kiss me in front of an audience at the end."

"I accept that."

"Get out of here." Uhura teased. "Go remind Vulcan that you're still the best of them."

"That is not my intention."

"Go." Uhura shook her head sadly.

Spock graced Uhura with a shallow bow and left. He made his way purposefully towards the transport room, skillfully avoiding any hallways that may contain Kirk or McCoy. When he arrived Scotty was flirting with one of the new Ensigns. Ignoring the display Spock went to stand on the transporter pad. Scotty looked up at him and smiled brightly.

"Mr. Spock, there is some red on yer lips that I highly doubt is blood." Scotty snickered.

Reaching up Spock removed Uhura's lipstick from his lips, taking a moment to glare at the stain that was on his hand now. When he turned his icy stare on Scotty the engineer instantly removed the smirk from his face.

"Energize, Mr. Scott."

"Aye, Sir."

Spock's vision jumped from the interior of the ship to the bright world of Natala. The sun here produced a slightly bluer light than the sun of Vulcan, but it was the same hot desert air. Spock took a deep breath of the heated atmosphere, enjoying the more comfortable temperature. He was always slightly chilled aboard the Enterprise, something he only really noticed when he returned to a warm world.

Scotty had landed him just outside the main city to prevent accidentally beaming directly in front of, or even worse into, anyone. Turning around Spock made his way towards the massive stone and glass buildings. The Vulcan's had wasted no time in recreating their architecture and lifestyle even though Spock felt that their energies could have been better spent.

Walking through the nearly empty streets was just another painful reminder of how few Vulcans were left. Had they built a city that more appropriately fit their population the contrast would not be so stark. However, the full sized city was currently being occupied by a mere handful.

"For an emotionless species we fall victim to pride so easily." Spock muttered to himself.

At the heart of the city the population grew slightly denser. Dressed in his bright blue uniform Spock was an unavoidable eye sore in the darkly dressed society. Completely accustom to the looks he was receiving Spock simply continued on his path towards the capital building. Once inside he was surprised to see the large floating stone statues that dominated the front entrance way. They were perfect replicas of the art that had been destroyed on Vulcan. The High Council's priorities did not seem logical to him, but he did not waste much thought on it. He stepped up to the man seated behind the high entrance desk.

"I have arrived for the census."

"You will meet with High Councilor Ry'in." The receptionist informed.

"High Councilor? Are they meeting individually with every Vulcan?"

"I do not have the authority to answer that question."

"Very well."

"Spock," an older Vulcan called "come with me, I am Councilor Ry'in."

Spock turned to his left and saw Ry'in standing under a near by archway. Once Ry'in was sure he had been acknowledged he turned and walked off down the hall. Without hesitation Spock followed him. They weaved their way through the building before coming to a doorway which the Councilor disappeared into.

The door closed automatically behind Spock as he stepped into the small room. Ry'in had already taken his place behind a black stone desk. The surface of the desk glittered blue with a computer interface that Ry'in was entering data into. Spock stood and waited for instruction. Eventually Ry'in looked up.

"Have a seat, Spock."

"Thank you, Councilor"

"Please place your left hand on the illuminated pad."

As Ry'in spoke a bright blue outline of a hand on the surface of the desk. Spock reached out and pressed his palm against the outline. A bright scanner light tracked back and forth under his hand and then turned crimson. On Ry'in's side of the desk the computer jumped to life.

"The computer does not understand your human blood. No matter, I can over ride it." Ry'in announced. "There will be a brief flash of pain, afterward you may remove your hand."

Spock remained impassive as a sharp pain radiated from the center of his palm. When he pulled his hand away there was a small pool of green blood left on the desk. The blood quickly soaked into the scanner and disappeared. Ry'in continued to tap on the flat desktop while Spock waited.

"I see here that you are bonded with T'pring." Ry'in announced.

"T'pring survived?"

"Indeed. Her family was among the first evacuated. I am surprised you did not sense it."

"I did not try."

"Never the less, she lives. Since you are already connected with her she will be one of the three assigned to you, they are all in the city so you can go to them directly after our meeting here to work out the details."

"I am sorry, Councilor, I must not have heard you correctly."

"You are to be mated with T'pring, Lastana, and Yain. The first was chosen by your parents, the other two hold genetics compatible to your own."

"So this is the true purpose of the census." Spock noted rather than asked.

"There is a terrible imbalance in the Vulcan population, females out number males three to one."

"And this is the Council's solution?"

"It is the only solution." Ry'in replied seriously. "We need every drop of Vulcan blood left in the galaxy, we can not afford to have females spend their lives barren due to a lack of mates. By using assignment we can ensure that no inbreeding occurs for the next seven generations. After that our numbers will be large enough to return to our traditions."

"To borrow a phrase from a friend of mine: 'are you out of your Vulcan mind?'."

"Watch your tongue, Spock."

"My apologies," Spock gave the Councilor a shallow bow "however, you must understand I can not agree to this. No Vulcan could."

"That is where you are wrong, we have one hundred percent cooperation."

"I must tarnish your record."

"You are not being logical."

"I am being loyal." Spock retorted.

"To whom?"

"I have a mate."

"Human?" Ry'in asked with veiled disgust.

"Yes."

"Why were we not informed of this?"

"Because it is not your affair."

"Every Vulcan is our affair." Ry'in said icily.

"Then you are now informed." Spock got to his feet. "If we are done here, I will return to the Enterprise."

"Spock...if you leave now you are never welcome to return."

"I understand. I do not believe I was ever truly welcome to begin with."

"I warned your father that this would happen." Ry'in hissed.

"That what would happen?"

"That if you were allowed to live among the humans that you would become one."

"I suppose I am already half way there."

"Wrong." Ry'in shook his head. "Vulcans are triploid, humans are only diploid. You are three-fourths your father, only one-quarter your mother. That is the only way your conception would even have been possible. Any child of yours by a Vulcan mother will carry so little human blood as to be essentially pure."

"Any child of mine will be more human than I."

"Spock, you have a responsibility to your species."

"Perhaps the species needs to take a page from my father's book, if genetic diversity is what we need open the Natala settlement to a finite number of human males and let nature take her course. I will not be reduced to an animal for breeding."

"Get out."

Spock nodded slightly before turning and leaving. As he returned to the main entrance a motion caught the corner of his eye. Spock paused as a beautiful young Vulcan woman stepped out of the shadows. She put herself into his path and glared at him.

"Spock."

"T'pring?"

"Yes." T'pring replied icily. "Spock, since our current laws no longer allow Kal-if-fee I no longer have the power to refuse you as my life mate. Therefore I am reduced to begging. I accept you as the father of my future children, however, I ask that you take one of your other assigned females as your true partner."

"I shall do neither for you. Consider yourself free."

"Free? You are rejecting me?"

"It seems the feeling is mutual."

Spock took a step to the side so that he could walk past T'pring. She watched him leave with an impassive expression painted on her sharp features. Wanting nothing more than to return to the Enterprise Spock walked quickly back towards the isolated spot on the outside edge of the city that he had beamed down to. Once there he pulled out his communicator.

"Enterprise? Spock here."

_"Scott here."_

"Ready to beam aboa..."

"Spock!" A female voice rang out.

"Belay that order, Mr. Scott."

_"Aye, Sir."_

Turning around Spock found another Vulcan woman approximately T'pring's age approaching him quickly. He waited for her to catch up over the dry rocky terrain without moving to meet her halfway. When she arrived she bowed her head respectfully and kept her gaze on the floor. Before speaking again she glanced around to ensure that they were alone.

"Spock, I require your help...please, I don't know anyone else to turn to."

"How may I assist you?"

"My brother, he has not returned for the census. He was on a Star Fleet Base, 17."

"Starbase 17? The base closest to the Vulcan black hole?"

"Yes."

"What was his business there?"

"I do not know. All I know is that he was due back six days ago, but there has been no word from him. The High Council will not allow me try to contact him, I can not afford to leave myself to search, and I do not know anyone in Star Fleet to ask...other than you."

"What is his name?"

"Darick."

"And yours?"

"Tia."

"I will look into the matter."

"Thank you."

Tia bowed once again and backed away. Once she had retreated a good distance away Spock contacted the ship once again and returned. He stalked away from the transport room and towards his own quarters. He knew Uhura would be angry at him for not letting her know he was back, but he had more important problems. Sitting down at his desk he activated the computer.

"Computer, access Federation census of Vulcan species conducted after the destruction of the homeworld."

"Accessed." The computer chimed. "Total count 12,307."

"Was the ratio of males to females also counted, if so what was it?"

"Approximately two females to every male."

"I don't want an approximation, what is the exact ratio to the sixth significant digit?"

"1.635287 females to every male."

"Fascinating."

Spock turned off the computer and thought about the ramifications of the Federation census. He came to three logical conclusions. The first was simply that the Federations hurried census was incorrect. The other was that the High Councilor had lied to him, or had false information himself.

"...or Vulcan males are dying at an alarming rate."

**************


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Kirk sat back in his seat and stared up at the ceiling in his quarters. Weighing his options didn't seem to help. Eventually he simply got up and wandered off into the hallway. Making his way through the ship he quickly came to his First Officer's quarters. Kirk swiped his hand across the plate that would announce that he was standing outside.

"Come." Spock replied from inside.

Kirk stepped into the room and glanced around at the odd mixture of Vulcan and African décor. Spock was sitting at his desk with the fingertips of each hand gently touching one another, a sure sign that he had been deep in thought when Kirk had disturbed him. Walking over to the desk Kirk sat on it casually, forgetting how much it irritated Spock to have his furniture used in a manner other than it was intended.

"So...how did things go on Natala?"

"As well as could be expected."

"Right...of course." Kirk paused for a moment. "No problems?"

"None that need concern you."

"I see. Alright, Spock, since clearly I'm not going to get a direct answer without a direction question, here it goes: why did the High Council contact me to inform me that under no circumstances was I to assist in your further return to the planet and to break off orbit within the hour or something to that effect? The wording was all polite and poetic, but it basically boiled down to them telling you: 'screw you and the horse you rode in on'."

"Very poetic, Captain."

"Seriously, Spock, what happened down there?"

"I was counted in the census, they made a request of me, I refused it."

"Simple as that?"

"Yes."

"Is your refusal of them going to affect your ability to serve on this ship or imped her missions in any way?"

"No, Captain."

"Are you sure about that?"

"I can not possibly know every situation and promise that the political enemies I have made today will never affect us," Spock replied "however, the probability of such complications are so small that I believe my continued service upon the Enterprise is still warranted."

"I'm sure of it." Kirk smiled. "I only ask because we have been asked by Star Fleet to deliver you to Starbase 17 immediately."

"Starbase 17? For what purpose?"

"Criminal charges are being held against a Vulcan and before they contact the High Council about the situation they want your opinion on the matter."

"I do not understand, I am not a lawyer."

"Star Fleet would not give me many details over sub-space, but apparently there are unusual circumstances surrounding this case."

"I see."

"Honestly I don't think the Federation knows how to deal with Vulcan or Vulcans anymore."

"They should deal with us the same way they always have."

"It's not that simple, Spock." Kirk sighed.

"Apparently not."

Kirk watched as his friend's eyes slightly lost their focus. It was a common occurrence when he was working on some problem that gave even his Vulcan mind difficulties. He had put his hands down, but now they rose again and formed a little cage to hold the thought in while he contemplated it. Kirk knew that he if he didn't say something Spock would remained locked in thought forever.

"Something on your mind, Spock?"

"Always."

"Anything you'd care to share?" Kirk clarified as he shook his head sadly.

"No, Captain."

"Then you have no protests about heading to Starbase 17?"

"None."

"Very well, I'll have the course laid in right away."

The trip back across the galaxy towards Starbase 17 was an uneventful one. Upon arrival the Captain decided to stay at the base to allow the crew some much needed shore leave. Kirk and McCoy made the decision to join Spock on his mission down to the detention center of Starbase 17. McCoy stepped onto the base and looked around with disdain.

"Something wrong Bones?"

"I hate these places, all the galaxy coming and going in one place. It breeds disease."

"Care to go back on the ship and get a face mask?" Kirk teased.

"It won't help." Bones huffed. "Most virus can seep right through your skin."

"I assure you all precautions to contain disease are made on Starbases, Doctor." Spock soothed.

"Trust me, within twenty-four hours my Sick Bay will be packed. I've seen it a dozen times. And if the diseases don't get them the alcohol will."

Kirk chuckled and playfully slapped Bones on the back. Spock waited for them to end their banter and continued through the crowed Starbase. As they arrived at the deeper levels the population dropped off. Security down here was tight and there were several hoops to jump through before they were able to speak to the Chief Security Officer.

"Gentlemen," the Security Officer greeted "thank you so much for coming. I am Lieutenant Stevens."

"I'm Captain Kirk, this is my Fist Officer Spock, and Chief Medical Dr. McCoy."

"Yes, yes, thank you all for coming."

"Lieutenant," Spock said "what are the nature of the charges held against the Vulcan?"

"I am afraid the charges are aggravated assault, and as of 1800 yesterday, murder."

"Murder?" Kirk repeated in surprise.

"Yes, one of the security guards he assaulted died. The other six are in bad shape, but they are expected to recover."

"Are you telling us that a Vulcan violently assaulted seven men?" Bones asked.

"Yes, Doctor. Two of them Star Fleet Officers."

"That doesn't sound like Vulcan behavior." Kirk noted.

"No, it does not." Spock agreed. "What were the circumstances of the assault?"

"There is a lot of confusion surround that. He was found on a hanger deck, but it is unclear what he was doing there."

"Could he had been attempting to steal a ship?" Spock asked.

"That is a possibility." Stevens nodded. "He had been on the base less than twelve hours when the attack happened. However, the Officers involved say that he seemed more disoriented than anything else just before the incident occurred. The guard that ended up dying had approached him to ask if he could help him, and he just lashed out at him."

"His intentions could not have been to kill." Spock said firmly.

"Why not?" Bones asked.

"If he had wanted to he could have easily killed the man instantly and most likely the other six as well."

"What does he have to say for himself about the incident?" Kirk asked.

"Nothing. He has not spoken a single word. One of the reasons we asked Star Fleet to allow Mr. Spock to visit was in hopes that he would speak to another Vulcan."

"I was not a logical choice for such a mission." Spock informed. "However, I will attempt to speak with him."

"That's all we can ask. This way, Gentlemen."

Stevens lead them down a series of locked corridors. They came to a door guarded by two others and were allowed to pass through. At the end of the hall was a doorway that glittered with a holding field. In the small room beyond a young Vulcan male was sitting in the corner cross legged with his eyes closed.

"He's been like that the whole time, hasn't eaten or slept." Stevens said.

"Vulcans do not have the same biological needs as humans, he can go for weeks in this state. He is deep in meditation."

"Has he shown any violence since the initial attack?" Kirk asked.

"Honestly, Captain, we've been afraid to go in there."

"What is his name?" Bones asked.

"Darick."

"Fascinating."

"You know him, Spock?" McCoy asked.

"No. I met his sister on Natala. She informed me that he was six days over due to return. When did these events happen?"

"Three days ago."

"You contacted us as soon as the events had taken place?"

"Aye, Sir." Stevens nodded.

"So Darick was already several days over due to return to Natala when the attacks happened, and yet he was only on the base for twelve hours." Spock mused.

"Where was he during the rest of that time?" Kirk asked.

"That may be an important question." Spock said. "If you will lower the field I will attempt to speak to him."

"Are you sure that's safe, Sir?" Stevens asked.

"I will be safe."

"Aye, Sir."

Stevens tapped a complicated code into the panel next to the doorway and the glitter of the shield became more intense before disappearing. Spock walked into the room confidently and up to Darick who had yet to acknowledge him. It wasn't until Spock knelt down in front of him that there was a response.

Darick snapped his eyes open and glared at Spock. His face twisted into one of pure rage and he launched himself at Spock. Kirk and Bones cried out in alarm, but Spock simply reached out griped down on the space between Darick's neck and shoulder. Darick collapsed instantly.

Looking down on the passed out Vulcan with curiosity Spock reached down and touched his fingertips to Darick's temple. He stared forward for a moment as he inspected the other Vulcan's thoughts. Satisfied Spock got back to his feet and stepped out of the containment cell. Stevens instantly snapped the force field back on.

"I have your answer for the attack: he is completely insane."

***********


	4. Chapter 4

NOTE from the PHOENIX: Okay guys, here's one more and then I need to get a chapter done on my Stargate fic. Huggles.

Chapter 4

"Insane?"

"Yes, Captain." Spock nodded. "His thoughts are chaotic, unreadable, and above all highly emotional."

"Is this sort of mental breakdown common among Vulcans?" Bones asked.

"It is completely unheard of. Since I can not understand his thoughts it is impossible to tell what drove him to this extreme."

"What are all the possible causes?"

"The main suspects would be: disease, radiation poisoning, or some form of extreme torture."

"Torture?" Bones asked in alarm.

"By the time you have gone far enough to break a Vulcan they are truly broken and no use to any one." Spock replied calmly. "It is not a logical use of time, but perhaps someone who held Darick did not know this, or did not care. There are groups in the galaxy that would not be sorry to see Vulcan's truly pushed into extinction."

"You also mentioned disease." Kirk said. "Are there any known Vulcan diseases that cause this?"

"None that I am aware of."

"Bones, can you check him out?"

"That depends. Is he going to wake up and try and kill me?"

"That is likely, Doctor." Spock nodded. "However, I will assist you in that event."

"Lieutenant, lower the field." Kirk ordered.

"Aye, Sir."

McCoy stepped into the small cell and knelt down next to the unconscious Vulcan. Spock knelt down on the far side to intervene if need be. Using the medical tricorder Bones made a quick survey of his patients condition. He furrowed his brow as he read the readings.

"Find something, Bones?"

"Well, I'm no expert in Vulcan physiology, but I am not detecting any signs of a pathogen."

"Then it is most likely not a disease." Spock noted.

"I highly doubt that it is." Bones agreed. "No trace of any kind of radiation, there has been tremendous strain on the cardiovascular system."

"That could imply several causes."

"Yes. The preliminary hormone and liver enzyme readings don't look right to me...then again they may be well within normal limits for Vulcans."

"You may scan me for a comparison, Doctor."

Bones nodded and lifted up the tricorder to scan Spock. Once again he pieced through the readings with a look of concern.

"Doctor?"

"Your levels are certainly higher than I would expect, his are higher, but then again..."

"He is not half human." Spock supplied.

"Right."

"Bones," Kirk sighed "put it in layman's terms for me."

"I suspect there is some form of imbalance in this Vulcan, but without taking him to Sick Bay I simply can't run the kind of tests I'd need to know for sure."

"Any thoughts on how such an imbalance could have occurred." Kirk asked.

"Well certainly if he'd been recently heavily mistreated his system would be showing similar break down." Bones theorized.

"Lieutenant?" Spock looked up.

"Aye, Mr. Spock?"

"Do your files have a date of birth for Darick?"

"Aye, Sir." Stevens pulled out a small device from his pocket and tapped on it a few times. "Stardate 456782.3."

"That makes him, what...seven years older than you, Spock?" Kirk asked.

"Six years, eleven months, three days."

"Is that significant?" Bones asked.

"I do not know." Spock replied vaguely.

"Then why did you ask?"

"I am just trying to gather all the facts, Doctor."

"Captain," McCoy said "we won't get any real answers here, he needs to be transferred to Sick Ba..."

"Absolutely not." A deep voice suddenly boomed.

The team including Stevens looked up in surprise. A gray haired Vulcan dressed in formal robes being followed by three younger guards were making their way quickly towards them. The Vulcan leader stalked up to the Captain and looked between him and Stevens.

"Who is officially in charge of the prisoner?"

"I am, Sir." Stevens said quietly.

"You will release him into my custody immediately."

"Under who's authority?" Kirk demanded.

"Captain," Spock interrupted "this is Head Councilor Ilion, he has taken T'pau's place as High Leader in the wake of her death on Vulcan when she refused to leave."

"Councilor Ilion, my apologies, it is an honor."

"I am sure." Ilion said dismissively. "Relinquish the Vulcan to our custody."

"Councilor," Kirk said respectfully "you must understand that Darick is in the mists of criminal charges being pressed by Star Fleet."

"I am fully aware of the charges, Captain. What you must understand is that these are not ordinary circumstances. We are among the rarest of intelligent species and we will handle all Vulcan affairs. Would you have a member of an endangered species put to death?"

"Star Fleet and the Federation do not believe in the death penalty."

"To have him imprisoned on some desolate planet is worse than death. The cost to our species is too great. His case will be handled on Natala."

"Councilor Ilion," Spock said respectfully "we have reason to believe that Darick has been driven to insa..."

"I am not interested in what you believe, Spock." Ilion interrupted. "I have all the authority to take this Vulcan right here, signed by the heads of both Star Fleet and the Federation."

Ilion produced a plastic document and handed it directly to Stevens. After a brief read Stevens nodded and stepped aside. Bones took a begrudging step away from his patient and looked to Kirk to do something. Just as Ilion's guards went to lift up Darick he snapped back to consciousness. Seeing the other Vulcans his eyes widened in terror. Jumping up he scrambled into the corner and shrieked.

"No!" Darick cried. "I had to try! I had to..."

The main guard reached out and repeated the nerve pinch that had originally knocked him out. Darick once again collapsed in a heap. He was lifted up by the shoulders by two guards and taken from the cell. As he was being dragged away no one noticed the thin trickle of bright green blood that ran from his nose.

"You can't just take him," Bones protested "he's ill."

Ilion paused for a moment before nodding sadly. "We know. He will receive the best care, we regret the loss of your man Lieutenant Stevens."

Without further ceremony Ilion and his men departed with their prize. Kirk spent a few minutes trying to figure out exactly what had just happened, but he was at a loss to explain it. He had been assured that Star Fleet wanted Spock's opinion on Darick before the Vulcan Council was informed, and yet clearly they had known about it. The only way they would have had time to reach Starbase 17 in such short time was if Star Fleet had informed the Council at the same time, or if the Council had been listening in on the sub-space communication. Either option was disturbing.

"Spock?"

"Yes, Captain."

"How unusual is it that the Head Councilor himself left Natala to come deal with this?"

"There are only two explanations: Darick and Councilor Ilion are related by blood, or this is of the highest importance to the Council."

"My thoughts exactly." Kirk nodded and then sighed in frustration. "Alright, nothing we can do about it from here. Enjoy a few days shore leave, Gentlemen. I'll try and talk to Star Fleet about this."

"Captain, may I suggest that you not interfere with Vulcan on this matter."

"Why not?"

"I believe I know why the Council is so desperate to retrieve even a criminally insane Vulcan."

"They're starting a breeding program, aren't they?" Bones asked.

"Yes, Doctor. It is only logical."

"Is that what you refused them?" Kirk asked. "To be part of the program?"

"I have loyalties to Star Fleet."

"And Uhura." Kirk added.

"Yes."

"When are you going to marry that girl?" Kirk mocked.

"Captain, please, I do not wish to discuss such matters."

"No offense, Spock," Bones smiled "but I'm a little surprised that they are this upset that you said 'no'. They've always treated your half human blood as poison."

"It just goes to show you how desperate they are, Doctor."

************


	5. Chapter 5

NOTE from Phoenix: I'm pleased to see how many watchers this story has! Huggles to all readers, I try and respond to all reviews.

Chapter Five

Spock had no interest in shore leave on Starbase 17, or any other place for that matter. Retuning to the ship he checked in with the bridge to make sure that everything was running smoothly. The skeleton crew there assured him that all was well. He had the urge to pace the deck of the bridge, but when the ship wasn't going anywhere it wasn't logical to keep a vigil.

Spock began purposefully wandering the halls, checking in on engineering, transport, auxiliary control, and several other of the countless station. When he found himself even checking in on sick bay he knew that he was making these rounds not because they needed to be done, but because he needed something to do.

"Can I help you, Mr. Spock?"

"No, Miss Chapel, I am simply checking the stations."

"Oh, well things won't get busy here for another six hours or so."

"Am I to understand that you do indeed see an increase in activity when visiting a Starbase?"

"Every time."

"That should please, Dr. McCoy."

"He never enjoys seeing any of the crew sick, Mr. Spock." Miss Chapel replied sounding a little hurt.

"I understand that, he will be pleased because he will have been proven correct."

"Then hopefully he'll be in a good mood."

"Undoubtedly." Spock agreed.

"Are you sure there is nothing we can help you with?"

"Why do you ask?"

"You never come down here to just...chit-chat."

"I am perfectly healthy. Good day, Miss Chapel."

"Good day, Mr. Spock, please tell Uhura that I probably won't be able to make it to our tennis match this evening."

"I will."

Still feeling uncomfortably energetic Spock decided to put the energy to good use. He walked down to the exercise level. He wasn't sure what he wanted to do, simply running in a circle didn't seem to have a true purpose to it. Once in the locker room however he spotted a formidable opponent.

"Mr. Sulu, could I interest you in a match?"

"Always, Spock." Sulu smiled. "You're the only one on this ship I can't easily best. I'll meet you on court four in ten minutes."

"Excellent."

Spock met Sulu in the large court as agreed. They had both changed into a white skin tight jumpsuit with sleeves that went to the wrists, and a neck line that covered the throat, a pair of white gloves completed the outfit. Armed with slender fencing swords they faced each other in the traditional fashion. They played with épée style swords making any point on the body a legitimate target with no 'right of way' rules. Since they wore no face masks they had a gentleman's agreement not to take any shots available to the head.

"Ready?" Sulu asked through a wide smile.

"Ready."

With a heartfelt cry Sulu threw himself at Spock with both reckless abandon and carefully controlled skill. It was clear that he enjoyed the Vulcan opponent immensely. Spock was just fast enough to deflect the first blow and slashed brutally at Sulu's midsection. Sulu had jumped back, but still ended up with an oozing red line across his stomach.

"Nice hit!" Sulu praised.

"Thank you."

The next few rounds consisted only of the high pitched clang of metal clashing against metal. While Spock had his guard up to the right Sulu took the opportunity to tag his left shoulder. Bright green stained Spock's shoulder. With the score even they both intensified the battle. The large empty room allowed for both retreat and charge. Before long Sulu was dripping in sweat and both men were covered in colourful marks where they had landed lesser hits.

Eventually Sulu got the upper hand and sunk the tip of his sword deep into the center of Spock chest. The once white garment ran green down the front. Sulu stepped back and lowered his weapon, staring at Spock. Spock looked down at the stain and raised an eyebrow.

"Mr. Sulu, that is not a mortal hit on a Vulcan."

"Right, I forget sometimes."

"I will grant you the match since according to the traditional rules that is a winning stroke."

"Thank you."

Spock slipped his index finger into the sleeve on his right arm and pinched a small contact button. The green that had stained the white outfit instantly vanished. Sulu did the same and the match was reset. The blades they used were phantom, only the handle was solid. They only gave resistance when one blade image touched the other. When the imaginary blade made contact with the specially designed material on the suit it gave a visual blood effect.

Clean once again they resumed with the second match. Starting to breath harder Spock threw all of his concentration into fight. He backed Sulu up almost all the way to the wall this time. Sulu had no effort to spare in playful banter or even his bright smile. Anyone walking in on the scene would truly believe that the pair was engaged in a fight to the death.

Since having his back up against the wall put him at a severe disadvantage and Sulu made a risky move to escape. When Sulu attempted to break free and looped around him Spock slashed at him violently. With his back turned the hit tore down his back on a diagonal. Sulu's white suit flashed red for a moment to inform him that a mortal injury, in this case a severed spine, had occurred. Defeated Sulu turned around and offered Spock a bow.

"You're getting more ruthless, Spock." Sulu chuckled. "That's the first time you've ever taken a swipe at my back even though I've often made the mistake of offering it to you."

"My apologies."

"No need, it's part of the game." Sulu shrugged. "Once more?"

"Please."

This time Sulu quickly found himself in trouble. His suit dripped in fake crimson blood from Spock's brutal, but not fatal assaults. As the heated match continued Sulu noticed sweat beading Spock's skin. Sulu couldn't recall a time, even after their most energetic matches, that he'd seen Spock actually sweat.

When Spock took an illegal swipe at his face Sulu automatically jerked back even though the blade couldn't do any damage. Loosing his balance Sulu landed on his back hard. Showing absolutely no mercy Spock used the opportunity to run Sulu through the heart. The instant he realized that he had just taken advantage of an opponent when he was down Spock dropped the handle of his blade.

"I am sorry, Mr. Sulu, that was completely uncalled for."

"Not...uh...not a problem, Spock. Sometimes I loose track of the fact that it's just a game as well. Well played match, I don't think I have the energy for another."

"It was unsportsmanlike of me." Spock insisted as he offered Sulu his hand to help him up. "I will of course concede the match to you."

"It's not about winning or losing, Spock," Sulu smiled "it's the thrill of the game, and that was certainly our most thrilling. I'll take a rematch anytime."

The pair made their way back to the locker room. Spock reached up and ran his hand across his forehead and then stared at the salty stain on his hand. He hadn't realized how much of a true work out the fencing with Sulu had been until now. Taking a deep breath Spock noticed that he felt better than when he'd been wandering the halls. The match had taken the edge off his nervous energy.

After a brief run through the shower Spock crawled back into his uniform and wondered what to do next. He decided that he'd check in on his quarters to see if Uhura was back from shore leave. Stepping into the room he was instantly aware of a small furry invader in his room as it pounced on his foot. Uhura's musical laughter tickled his ears.

"What is this?"

"It's a cat." Uhura smiled hesitantly.

"That I can see. I suppose I should have asked 'Why is it here?'."

"There was an adoption on Starbase 17, I couldn't help myself."

"Is the Captain aware of this animal?"

"Yes, I asked him, he said it was okay. In fact he said he thought it might be good for you."

"Me?"

Spock looked down doubtfully at the tawny cat that was rubbing against his legs with his tail held high in the air. Uhura watched with her breath held as Spock reached down and picked up the cat. Pleased to be getting the attention he so richly deserved the cat nuzzled under Spock's chin and started up with a loud vibrating purr.

"What is it doing?"

"He's purring, it means he likes you." Uhura chuckled. "You've never heard a cat purr?"

"No. On Vulcan cats were eaten before they had a chance to purr." Spock held the cat out to Uhura as though it was an inanimate object. "I think this one would taste best in a ginger sauce."

"What?!" Uhura asked aghast.

A smile so slight that it barely touched the corner of Spock's mouth twitched across his face. It wasn't the hint of a smile that Uhura caught, but the brief spark of mischief that flashed in his dark eyes that made her pause. It was a look so much like the Captain's that for a moment it worried her, however, the look had appeared and vanished so quickly she couldn't be sure she'd seen it at all.

"Spock...was that a joke?"

"It was." Spock nodded and held the cat close once again. Unaware of the mocking threat the cat continued to purr.

"So we can keep him?"

"Does he make you happy?"

"Yes."

"Then he is welcome here."

"Thank you." Uhura smiled and kissed Spock's cheek.

"Does this creature have a name?"

"Anubis."

"That's a highly illogical name for a cat since 'Anubis' was an ancient earth god with a jackal's face."

"I kinda like it."

"Anubis." Spock repeated and the cat glanced up at him. "It would appear that he does as well."

Uhura chuckled again and ruffled Anubis's fur. Thrilled to have found a home the cat writhed him Spock's arms and stretched out. Spock wandered over to the bed and sat down, stroking Anubis's soft coat with a far away look in his eyes. Uhura knew the look all too well, he was over thinking something.

Coming over to the bed she sat down next to Spock. She took Anubis out of his hands and placed the cat on the floor. Still locked in thought he stared blankly forward. The muscles of his shoulders and neck were taunt with stress. Even in the safety of their quarters his posture was ram rod straight as if an Admiral was going to walk through the door at any moment. A sly smile spread across Uhura's lips and she leaned in and gently applied pressure to tip of Spock's ear with her teeth. Spock closed his eyes and took a deep breath before opening them again.

"You do enjoy bitting my ears, don't you?"

"I enjoy the way it makes you relax."

Spock nodded, however when Uhura sought out more affection he turned away.

"Please do not do this to me today." Spock said quietly. "It is an illogical argument that I do not wish to get into at the moment."

"I was just being friendly."

"You are torturing me."

"You never minded before."

"Things change." Spock replied icily. "Mating behavior out of wedlock is unacceptable."

"And I respect that, I do. I wasn't looking for anything more than a kiss."

"I assume that you parents are still uninterested in even meeting me?"

"No." Uhura admitted sadly. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have kept us a secret from them for so long, it's making their acceptance even more difficult. I just need more time, if I can't convince them in six months then we'll just get married without them."

"Uhura..." Spock paused without continuing.

"Spock?"

"Uhura, I...I am running out of time. I may not have six months."

"What do you mean?"

"I am getting older."

"You're thirty-two...Vulcan's live hundreds of years." Uhura said defensively.

"I am aware of that. It is one of your parents' main arguments against me, is it not?"

"Yes, among others." Uhura sighed. "They fear that when I get older you'll still be in your prime and you'll leave me."

"They are wrong, my prime is now..." Spock hesitated again "and it is something I must act upon."

"I don't understand."

"I do not expect you to."

"Then explain it to me." Uhura demanded.

"I can not."

"You think I won't understand, that my human mind couldn't possible comprehend?" Uhura snarled, suddenly getting angry.

"It is not that..."

"You're not the only one that all this waiting is difficult on." Uhura hissed as her eyes brightened with tears. "You think your best years are passing you by? What about mine? I don't have two hundred years to waste."

"Uhura, please do not be angry..."

"Why? Because it's too 'human'?"

"Uhu..."

"No, no, I don't want to hear it!" Uhura got to her feet. "I have waited for you for nearly four years, and now you can't give me six months? I can't believe you'd rather marry some arranged tramp on Natala than either wait for me or just forget your prudish nature for once and have sex with me 'out of wedlock'."

"There is no one on Natala for me."

"Yeah, right. You think I'm dense?" Uhura spat. "Vulcans won't admit to it, but the whole galaxy knows they're starting a breeding program...it's only logical."

"You are right, but I will have no part of it. I have burned that bridge, no Vulcan will have anything to do with me, and I will have nothing to do with them."

"Then tell me what's wrong. If you're not going to marry a Vulcan why are you 'running out of time', explain it to me."

"I can not." Spock sighed.

"Spock," Uhura spat "you're being completely illogical."

Uhura spun on her heels and stalked out of the room. Spock listened to the door to their quarters slide open and shut as she left. If she had been able to slam the door he was sure that she would have. Finding himself suddenly short of breath Spock laid back on the bed. He reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose against a developing migraine. Anubis jumped up on the bed and rubbed against him.

"Why can I not just tell her, Anubis?" Spock sighed to the cat. "It is not that complicated: if I enter pon farr at this stage in my life...I will most likely die. If I do not take a mate, I will be driven to return to a world that no longer exists to participate in a tradition that is now outlawed."

Anubis purred and continued to rub against the distraught Spock. He sat up and pushed the animal away angrily.

"Uhura is right, I am being completely illogical...I am talking to a cat."

**************


	6. Chapter 6

NOTE from the PHOENIX: A kind reader was nice enough to remind me of Uhura's first name, which Spock really should be using when they are alone. It was one of those things that I meant to look up (cause I didn't quite remember it from the movie) and I never did. I'm so lazy. Giggle. So now I know it! I will at some point go back and fix the previous chapter, but for now I'm just plowing ahead.

Chapter Six

It had been a week since Uhura had walked off in anger. She had decided to take advantage of the shore leave and been staying on the Starbase. Spock had not sought her out for either apologies or explanations. The extended time docked while the crew took turns at shore leave and the ship was repaired and restocked left Spock with virtually nothing to occupy himself with.

Under normal conditions he would have sought to catch up on reading through Memory Alpha's extensive scientific library banks. However he found himself with far too much energy to concentrate on reading. He had tried several times and found that after an hour's worth of reading he recalled very little of the information. Frustrated by this uncharacteristic lack of focus Spock turned to physical activity.

Back on the exercise level Spock was pouring his concentration into a combat training program. There was a setting that allowed the player to fight an image of another person, however, Spock preferred the version that simply flashed coloured squares in the air that were to be struck. Once contact was made a small force field offered physical resistance. Quickly beating the program's highest level Spock accessed the program's code directly to increase the force and reaction time needed.

Focusing solely on the quickly flashing targets that surrounded him Spock finally found peace in the form of a laboring heart. Unlike the fencing room this was not a private area and a handful of other crew members were getting their daily exercise on other equipment in the room. Every once in a while one would stop what they were doing and watch the Vulcan. After a particularly powerful strike a Lieutenant near by shook his head in awed amazement.

"Man...I'm glad he's on our side." The Lieutenant commented to his friend.

"Yeah, memo to me: stay on Vulcan's good side."

Spock didn't hear nor would he have cared about the conversation. Hours went by and the longer the game continued the more force Spock put into his attack. Eventually the program gave way to avoid injuring him, however with so much momentum behind his last strike Spock's hand carried through to, and then into, the wall. Pain lanced up his arm, but he paid no attention to it. He withdrew his hand from the hole in the sturdy wall that he had created. When he turned to go inform maintenance he discovered that everyone had stopped what they were doing and were staring at him.

Ignoring the shocked looks Spock retreated to the locker room. He hadn't noticed until now how hard his heart was beating. Placing his hand on his side he could feel it pounding against his lower rib cage. He shook his head as he also became aware of the sweat that was stinging his eyes, another unfamiliar sensation.

"Mr. Spock, are you feeling alright?"

Spock turned and glared at the young Ensign.

"Sorry, Sir." He muttered before scurrying away.

Taking a deep breath to try and regain his composure Spock stripped off his sweat soaked clothes and went to stand under the shower spray. Even with the heat of physical activity radiating off his skin Spock kept the water warm. His blood already ran cold, and hypothermia was one of those rare dangers that Vulcans were susceptible to if they weren't careful.

"Mr. Spock...you okay?"

"Why does everyone insist on asking me that question today?"

"Well...uh...you've been standing in the shower for a good twenty minutes." The Midshipman replied.

Spock glanced over at the man with a raised eyebrow, not sure if he believed in the extensive laps in time or not. Nodding to himself Spock turned off the water and slipped into a clean uniform. Returning to his quarters Spock sat down on the edge of the bed and stared at the far wall. His thoughts turned instantly to Uhura and he wondered if she would still be angry when she returned from shore leave. At this point he was giving heavy consideration to asking her to find new quarters for her own safety.

As if to illustrate the point Anubis jumped up on bed and before Spock could stop himself he lashed out at the innocent cat. Caught in the ribs Anubis sailed off the bed and struck the wall with a cry of pain.

"Anubis!" Spock cried in horror.

Spock jumped up and knelt down by the fallen cat. Anubis yowled weakly, but couldn't get to his paws. Spock gently gathered the cat up in his arms and rushed from the room. Running down to sick bay he scanned the busy medical quarters desperately.

"Dr. McCoy."

"Spock?" Bones asked as he turned around. "What's going on?"

"Can you help this animal?"

"I'm a doctor, not a veterinarian."

"Doctor...please."

"Alright, but I can't make any promises. What happened?"

"He startled me, and I struck him."

"I see, well, lay him down over here."

Spock gently placed Anubis down on one of the medical exam tables. He kept one hand on the cat to keep him calm. McCoy ran one of his sensor devices over the animal and in the process over Spock's hand as well. Bones furrowed his brow as he looked at the readings.

"Spock...do you know that your hand is broken?" Bones asked.

"The cat is more important."

"More important than the Enterprise's First Officer?"

"Nyo...Uhura will never forgive me if I have killed her cat."

"No, probably not. However, you needn't worry, he'll be just fine. He's just a bit bruised and shaken up."

Bones adjusted a hypo and gave Anubis a small injection. It only took a few seconds for the cat to get to his feet and shake himself off. Forgiving of Spock's transgression Anubis rubbed against him. Spock carefully collected Anubis back into his arms.

"I am sorry, Anubis."

"Why, Spock," Bones smiled "if I didn't know any better I'd say you truly care for that cat."

"He is an innocent creature that did not deserve to be treated violently."

"Still...I think the Captain was right, I think that ball of fluff is bringing out your soft side."

"I did not come here to be insulted, Doctor."

"Nor did you come down here for your hand despite the fact that it is fractured in three places. You certainly didn't do that against a cat. What happened?"

"A program on the exercise deck malfunctioned."

"Do you mind if I tend to it?"

Holding Anubis in one arm Spock silently held out his hand. McCoy ran a device over it that helped him determine how to best set the broken bones. He snapped the metacarpals back into place with expert ease. With another tool he stimulated the bone to mend together after a local injection of calcium.

"There you go, Spock, good as new."

"Thank you, Doctor."

"Any time. Do you have time for a quick physical?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I just wanted to see if your hormone and liver enzyme had balanced back out, they seemed a little out of whack when I gave them a quick check on the Base a week ago."

"I assure you I am healthy."

"Is that a no?"

"Some other time, Doctor."

Bones watched with a trace of concern as Spock made his way quickly out of sick bay. Shrugging it off he went back to work. When Spock returned to his quarters Uhura was waiting for him, sitting on the edge of his desk. Surprised to see her he stood in the doorway with Anubis in his arms.

"Taking Anubis for a walk?" Uhura asked with a shy smile.

"No."

Spock put the cat down and took a step closer to Uhura before stopping once more. She got to her feet, but didn't close the space in between them. Spock bowed his head slightly and held his hands behind his back before breaking the silence.

"Nyota, I apologize, you deserve better than me."

"What?"

"I have not been truthful with you. For this I am sorry."

"So tell me the truth."

"If..." Spock paused and shifted his weight. "If I do not secure a mate with in the next twenty-seven days I may be in danger of dying."

"The Vulcans will kill you?" Uhura asked horrified.

"No." Spock shook his head. "The Vulcan in me will kill me."

"Something biological?"

"Yes." Spock admitted quietly. "It is called pon farr, it occurs every seven years of an adult Vulcan's life. A time when logic is abandoned and the mating drive becomes so powerful that it can kill us. The most dangerous pon farr occurs between the ages of thirty and thirty-five depending on original onset. Without a mate there is a ninety-five point six percent chance of death."

"Why didn't you tell me that before?"

"It is not something Vulcans speak of."

An expression of shock, anger, and relief fell over Uhura's delicate features. Before even Spock's lighting reflexes could react Uhura had pounced on him. She locked him in a powerful kiss that left them both breathless. Spock wrapped his arms around her slender waist and held her close. He found himself with a powerful urge to bite down on the soft skin of her neck, but he restrained himself. Uhura leaned back so that she could look into his eyes.

"Let's go find the Captain."

"The Captain?" Spock repeated confused.

"He can perform wedding ceremonies, Christine and Dr. McCoy can witness. Let's go."

"Right now?"

"I'm not going to risk losing you over something we should have done a long time ago."

"That sounds...logical."

Uhura laughed and threw her arms around Spock's neck to pull him down into another kiss. He caught her lower lip in his teeth, his jaw quivering with the effort it was taking not to bite her to the blood. He broke off the kiss and shook his head to clear it. The whistle in the room that notified them of an incoming call gave out a shrill note. Uhura bent herself backwards, pressing against Spock harder, to flip the intercom switch.

"Spock here."

"Spock," Kirk's voice sounding more like a Captain than a friend rang out "I need you in the briefing room now."

"Yes, Sir."

Spock untangled himself from Uhura's embrace. She understood that orders always came before her and she accepted it since the same held true when it came to him. Spock made his way directly to the briefing room. The Captain was there along with McCoy. Kirk was pacing back and forth the way he did when he felt powerless. He glanced up at Spock in the doorway and beckoned to him.

"Spock, come in, sit down."

"Captain, I was hoping to discuss something wit..."

"There has been another Vulcan indecent," Kirk interrupted "this time a Star Fleet Academy cadet."

"Another murder?"

"No...suicide."


	7. Chapter 7

NOTE from the PHOENIX: The Trekkie crowd is a lot quieter than the Stargate gang, but I'm thrilled by how many watchers this story has! Hugs to you all! On another note: I am making up some of my own Vulcan culture, but I'm trying to keep it in the realm of the Star Trek Universe.

Chapter Seven

"Cadet Yao?"

"You knew him, Spock?"

"Briefly. He sought me out two years ago, to aid him in his decision to enter Star Fleet. After reviewing his qualifications I not only suggested he join, I also wrote him a letter of recommendation."

"And he was mentally healthy at the time?" Bones asked.

"Of course, I would not have recommended him otherwise."

"How is life at the Academy for a Vulcan?" Kirk asked.

"I do not understand."

"Ninety-nine percent of the cadets and staff are human, it can't be easy for an alien."

"Star Fleet Academy is not easy for anyone, it is designed to weed out the weak."

"That's not what I meant, Spock." Kirk smiled sadly. "I meant on a personal level, I know you had to work twice as hard to prove yourself there."

"I have had to work twice as hard to prove myself everywhere." Spock replied, still not understanding.

"Spock," Bones said softly "what the Captain is trying to ask is: do you think the stress of the Academy combined with the isolation of being different than the majority could have pushed Cadet Yao to suicide?"

"Under no circumstances." Spock replied firmly. "I am presently unconvinced that Cadet Yao's death was a suicide."

"What makes you say that?"

"Suicide is illogical." Spock said simply.

"Spock," Kirk sighed "no matter what you say I know that Vulcans are not immune to emotional stress. When you older self touched my mind I saw Vulcan's destruction through his eyes. It felt like someone had forced me to reach inside my own chest and crush my heart until it stopped beating."

"In the recorded history of Vulcan there has never been a suicide."

"Never?" McCoy asked in shock.

"Never." Spock confirmed. "We treasure life, it is illogical to take our own."

"I'm sorry, Spock, Cadet Yao's death was suicide, there are two witnesses. He was caught just before the act by his roommate and his friend, but they didn't have time to stop him from burying a blade in his heart. The roommate had made a report earlier in the week that Yao had not been sleeping and further investigation shows he probably wasn't eating either."

Kirk watched while Spock though over the new information. He could see the Vulcan trying to put logic to the completely emotional act. Spock put his hands behind his back and stared at the floor for a moment. The humans in the room allowed him the time to think. Eventually Spock rejoined them.

"Do you have information on the weapon that was used?" Spock asked.

Kirk nodded and went over and tapped on the briefing room table. A three dimensional image of an ornate blade flickered into existence about a foot off the table's surface. It turned slowly to allow the viewer to inspect it from all angles.

"This is a scan of the actual knife." Kirk informed. "From what I have been told it is a Vulcan ceremonial blade."

"It is a replica." Spock announced.

"What?"

"It is indeed a ka-flash blade, but it was not made by Vulcan hands."

"How can you tell?" Bones asked.

"The angles, here, here, and here" Spock pointed out several spaces on the protrusions from the knife's handle "add up to 88 degrees, not 90. Also the material appears to be ultra-steel and not the traditional anarainite, which is not as blue."

"Anarainite is rare stuff." Kirk said.

"Particularly now that Vulcan is gone." Spock agreed.

"Wait a minute, does this mean that the suicide was premeditated to the point where Cadet Yao commissioned a knife to be forged to kill himself with?" Bones asked distraught.

"No, Doctor, it is likely that Cadet Yao had the blade made shortly after the destruction of Vulcan."

"What is the knife for originally?" Kirk asked.

"A ka-flash blade is a gift from father to son, given at the time when they reach maturity. It is a reminder of our once violent and war mongering ways. The ka-flash is given to the son blade first so that they must cut themselves upon it in order to receive it. It is a show that as Vulcans we would rather bleed upon a sword than take one by the handle to use against another in anger."

"Do you have a ka-flash blade?"

"I do. It is not on display, it is an object of personal importance."

"So it is likely that Cadet Yao had the blade commissioned when he lost his own during the planet's destruction."

"Correct, Doctor. His entire family was also lost, he happened to be off world."

"Gentlemen," Kirk said suddenly "this does not bring us to the real reason I've gathered you two here."

"What is your true purpose?" Spock asked.

"Spock, this makes two unusual events in Vulcan behavior in two weeks."

"That is correct."

"And according to a few crew members you yourself have had a few recent 'unusual events in Vulcan behavior'."

"I admit to this, I apologize, Captain. I am currently working towards resolving the problem."

"So you know what the problem is?" Kirk asked in surprise.

"In my own case, yes. In the case of the other two Vulcans, no."

"What's going on?"

"It is of a personal nature, Captain."

"I see."

"Spock," Bones broke in "if you're falling ill..."

"I am not ill, Doctor."

"I'm not so sure. Please, come down to sick bay, what could be the harm in a quick once over if you're healthy?"

"You will not find me medically sound, but I am not suffering from any illness."

"Spock," Bones sighed heavily "you can be really frustrating sometimes, do you know that?"

"Uhura has also informed me of this."

Bones and Kirk exchanged a 'is he attempting a joke, or is he serious?' look with one another. Kirk shrugged and Bones rolled his eyes. Spock watched them, unaware of the meaning behind the silent exchange. Knowing he was never going to get any real answers without real questions Kirk stepped up to Spock and put his hands on his friend's shoulders.

"Spock, what it comes down to is: what can we do to keep you from punching holes in my ship?"

"You can perform the marriage ceremony between myself and Lieutenant Uhura."

"Ah yes." Kirk nodded with sagely wisdom. "It all becomes clear now."

"It does?" Spock asked with a hint of surprise.

"Of course," Kirk chuckled "I know how 'traditional' you are, and a lack of sex would drive any man crazy."

"How the hell would you know, Jim?" Bones huffed.

"I've been told."

"One of these days you're going to catch something I can't cure."

"Hey now, Bones..."

"Gentlemen," Spock intervened "my condition is more serious I assure you."

"It doesn't get any more serious than that, Spock." Kirk teased.

A flash of anger washed over Spock. The change in him was physically tangible as the energy in the air around him almost seemed to crackle. He quickly regained control of himself, but his observant friends caught sight of the momentary loss of temper.

"Careful, Jim, Spock's getting that look in his eyes that he got seconds before nailing you to the bridge of the Enterprise back when we were still trying to work out this whole 'teamwork' thing."

"Spock, are you sure you are feeling alright?" Kirk asked seriously.

"If one more human asks me that question today I will be in danger of experiencing the undoubtedly unpleasant emotion of irritation."

"Easy, Spock, we're just worried about you."

"Your worry is not necessary." Spock replied. "I simply need you to perform the ceremony."

"Right now?"

"Tomorrow."

"We're pushing away from the dock in an hour. Our next assignment takes us vaguely in the direction of the Vulcan black hole. We could stop there briefly for the wedding."

"That would be appreciated."

"I'll have Chekhov set the course."

"Thank you, Captain."

Spock graced the men with a respectful head nod before departing. Kirk sat down on the edge of the briefing room table. With his arms crossed over his chest he sat in quiet contemplation for a moment. Shaking his head sadly he looked over at McCoy who had a troubled look on his face.

"What do you think, Bones?"

"I think the Vulcan species is in big trouble, and they know it. They just won't share why."

"I agree." Kirk nodded. "Sadly if there is one thing Spock has taught me about Vulcans it's that you can't help them until they ask you to."

"And by that time it's usually too late."

"Exactly."

"What should we do?"

"The only thing we can do...wait."

"That doesn't sound like you, Jim."

"No, it doesn't, but I can't force Spock to accept my help anymore than you can cure the common cold."


	8. Chapter 8

NOTE from the PHOENIX: For anyone who doesn't know my writing, I do not write graphic sex scenes under any circumstances...so don't bother asking me to. Giggle. So although things may get intimate from time to time, I'll leave most of it up to your own imagination.

Chapter Eight

"I've never performed a Vulcan wedding before."

"No human has."

"Great, no pressure."

"In any case, Captain, I do not ask that you perform a traditional Vulcan ceremony, the human traditions will suffice."

"Right...and how does the broom work into all of that?"

"That is a human custom."

"Not one I'm familiar with."

"That is because you are only familiar with the culture surrounding the 'Midwest'," Bones interjected "there is far more to the Earth than Iowa, Jim."

"No there isn't." Kirk smiled.

"The tradition is known as 'Jumping the Broom'." Spock explained. "It has its roots in both African and African-American culture, it symbolizes sweeping away the old and welcoming the new as a bonded couple. It was also said to be used during the period in Earth's history where slavery prevented the traditional wedding ceremonies."

"Well then, let's get this party started." Kirk threw his arms over Bones and Spock's shoulders.

McCoy and Spock disentangled themselves from Kirk's friendly embrace. Dressed in their formal uniforms the trio stepped into the small ceremonies hall. Despite their young age all three men had an extensive collection of honours pinned to their chests. There was a small gathering of those who knew Spock and Uhura best waiting for the wedding to begin.

They walked up to the slightly elevated dais at the back of the room where nurse Chapel was already waiting as Uhura's maid of honour. Spock went directly to the floor to ceiling window that once again offered him a view of the gapping hole in space where his home once was. Staring blankly in the darkness he felt a sudden surge in the excess energy that had been plaguing him.

"Spock?"

"Hmmm?"

"'Hmmm?'" Kirk repeated in shock.

"I am sorry: Yes, Captain?"

"That sounds more like you. You going to join the rest of us over here? Or are you getting cold feet."

"My feet are the same temperature they always are.." Spock replied and then turned to Bones. "Thank you for standing as my best man, Doctor."

"It's an honour, Spock."

Spock offered Bones a shallow bow. They all took their places and waited. Uhura's entrance was accompanied by admiring murmuring from the gathering. Dressed in a simple white dress that brushed the tops of her feet with a detailed lace front she was the picture of grace and beauty. Her long hair had been pulled back and then loosely curled so that it bounced with each step.

Spock held out his hand to assist her up the single step up onto the dais. Uhura smiled brightly at the cordial offer and accepted it. Despite his generally negative feelings on marriage McCoy couldn't keep the grin off his face. Kirk stared at the pair for a moment and smiled as well before taking a deep breath to start the ceremony.

"Friends, today we are privileged to witness the union of Nyota Uhura of Earth and Spock of Vulcan..."

Spock barely heard the rest of the ceremony. Uhura wasn't paying any better attention. The pair only had eyes for one another. When a single tear slipped down Uhura's face Spock automatically reached out to brush it away. They were so lost in one another that McCoy had to give Spock a nudge when it was time for him to repeat the vows over the ring.

The simple wedding bands were made of an interactive metal. The closers the rings came to one another the more gold in colour they appeared, as they were separated they changed to a sliver luster. They had been tuned to a special frequency and would only respond to one another. Spock slipped the bright band onto Uhura's hand and she did the same for him. Having never worn a piece of jewelry before Spock was overly aware of the metal band.

When the announcement was made that it was time for the kiss Spock did not hesitate the way Uhura had expected him to. He closed the small space that had been between them and gently tilted her head back with his fingertips to help bridge their height difference. Spock closed his eyes and engaged his new wife in a tender kiss.

The entire gathering held their breath without even realizing they were doing so as they watched the heartfelt display of affection. Thrilled for her best friend Chapel was positively beaming. When she caught McCoy's eye she winked at him. Bones looked away quickly and rolled his eyes with a silent sigh. Spock and Uhura broke off the kiss and offered their attention back to the Captain.

"For an 'emotionless' species, Spock, you certainly seem to have a good deal of passion." Kirk teased. "Congratulations to you both."

"I will take that as a compliment, Captain."

"It was."

Uhura chuckled and took Spock's hand. The pair turned and jumped over the ornately decorated straw broom that had been placed on the ground behind them. Everyone present had signed a coloured ribbon and tied it to the base of the handle as a symbol of their support. Uhura's only regret was that her parent's names were not among the ribbons.

A small reception was scheduled after the ceremony. After accepting congratulations from everyone they all took seats around simply decorated tables to join in some champagne together. Kirk gave Spock a nudge to stand up for a speech, however in the end he had to make it an order.

Looking slightly annoyed at the Captain Spock conceded. Getting to his feet he raised up the delicate glass of champagne. He took a breath to say something, but suddenly froze. It looked for all the world like he was listening to something, but the room had gone deathly silent. Spock's brow twitched with a look of concern and the silence began to become uncomfortable.

"Spock?"

"I apologize, where was I?"

"Light years away from the looks of things." Kirk replied.

"I simply wish to thank you all for giving me a home, and for your support of Nyota and I's union. Humans truly are a fascinating species and I find myself among the best of them aboard this ship."

There were cheers of agreement and clinking of glasses, however, Bones and Kirk didn't join in. They were too concerned with the way their friend continued to seem to pay attention to something that wasn't there. Eventually Uhura reached up and brushed Spock's arm. Snapped out of his spell Spock sat back down and accepted Uhura's offer to touch glasses. Draining the bubbly alcohol Spock put the glass down too roughly and it shattered noisily.

"Are you okay?" Bones asked worried.

"I am uninjured, Doctor."

"Are you su..."

"Bones," Kirk interrupted quietly "not now."

"Thank you, Captain." Spock said. "I assure you, Doctor, I will be back to normal soon."

"Normal? Spock, you've never been normal."

"Gentlemen, may I suggest that we all retire for the night and allow the newlyweds some time alone?" Kirk made his order sound like a request. "Sulu, Chekhov."

"Aye, Sir?" The pair replied in unison.

"Go head this bird towards her next assignment, Warp 3."

"Aye, Sir."

"Spock, Nyota," Kirk turned to the pair "the two of you will not be needed on the bridge until we arrive, which should be another three days."

"Three days, ten hours, and thirty-three minutes at Warp 3." Spock corrected.

"Whatever, get out of here."

"Thank you, Sir." Uhura leaned over and kissed Kirk's cheek.

Bones noticed the way that Spock's eyes narrowed slightly for a second and could have sworn he had just seen jealousy flash across the Vulcan's usually impassive features. McCoy watched the couple as they left. Before Kirk could leave as well Bones reached out and caught his sleeve.

"I'm telling you, Jim, you have got to order him down to sick bay."

"He'll be fine, Bones."

"I disagree. Something isn't right."

"Of course it isn't. Bones, for probably the first time in his life Spock has chosen love over logic. He knows he should be with some Vulcan filly saving his species...but he loves Uhura. Marrying her is a decision he's been putting off for years, it doesn't surprise me in the least that it has left him a little unbalanced to finally take the chance and cut the very last tie he has with Vulcan. You and I know that the High Council is going to take this as a personal insult, Spock knows it too."

"Stubborn green-blooded fools." McCoy growled. "Exiling the one member of their kind that makes their species worth saving."

"I'm going to tell Spock you said that." Kirk chuckled.

"Please don't."

While McCoy and Kirk discussed their theories Uhura and Spock made their way towards the privacy of their quarters. The door had barely slid close behind him when Spock found himself pinned to it by Uhura. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed her slender frame against his own. She tugged on his shirt in a silent request before stepping back.

Uhura reached up and removed the clasp that was keeping her hair up and it fell in large tresses over her shoulders. Spock looked much like deer frozen in a bright light. A lupine smile spread across her face as she turned away from him. Reaching back she tapped the contact that caused the back of her dress to open and allowed it to fall as she walked away into the next room.

Spock reached up and activated a similar contact at his collar that caused his shirt to split down the front as though it had been cut open. Following Uhura into the bedroom he almost tripped over Anubis who was demanding attention by tangling himself around Spock's legs. Picking up the purring cat carefully he placed him out in the living room and ran his hand over the panel on the wall that caused the connecting door to slide shut.

Locked out Anubis made one protest meow before going quiet again. Uhura chuckled from her place sitting on the edge of the bed. When Spock stepped closer she reached out and grabbed his wrist to yank him onto the bed. Caught off guard by her strength Spock lost his balance, landing on the soft surface.

Laughing once again Uhura pounced. Spock rolled over onto his back and she crawled up on top of him. Pinning him down she bit down gently on his lower lip. Returning the aggressive kiss Spock ran his hands down the curves of Uhura's sides. She pushed herself up on her hands for a moment to look down on her new mate. Spock reached up slowly and softly touched his fingertips to Uhura's temple.

_'You are the most amazing creature in the galaxy.'_

Uhura gasped sharply as she read Spock's thought directly for the first time. Tears traced down her cheeks as she experienced not only her own love for him, but his for her as well. He kept the link between them as she leaned down to kiss him once again. Knowing what one another was thinking and feeling erased all of the inherent awkwardness that came along with a couple's first time together.

After a night that Uhura knew she wasn't likely to ever forget the pair laid next to one another throughly exhausted. Uhura rolled over on her side and laid her head down on Spock's chest. It always disconcerted her the way she could barely hear his heart beating since it was closer to his belly than his chest. Although she could hear it right now, it was beating so quickly it sounded more like Anubis purring than a traditional heartbeat. Spock reached up and smoothed out her hair idly.

"We don't have to wait another seven years to do that again do we?" Uhura teased.

"No." Spock assured.

"Good."

Between the physical excursion and the emotional strain of the day Uhura was struggling to stay awake. As Spock continued to stroke her hair she felt herself slipping closer to sleep. Spock could hear Uhura's heartbeat without needing to place his ear against her chest. He could hear it now as it slowed in sleep. He laid awake staring up at the ceiling.

An hour later he wasn't any closer to sleep. Carefully untangling himself from Uhura he got up and wandered into the washroom. Feeling chilled he turned the shower on to what would be scalding for human skin. Standing under the spray he folded his arms against the wall so that he could rest his forehead against them. The hot water struck the back of his neck and slipped down his back.

Spock wasn't sure how much time passed before he turned off the water. Still standing in the shower, surrounded in a mist like steam from the heat, Spock once again lost his focus. Shaking his head to try and clear it he got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. Walking over to the fogged mirror he reached up to rub the steam off of it.

The instant he lifted his hand his vision swirled with pin pricks of light. Taking a step back in surprise Spock blacked out completely and collapsed to the tile floor.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

Four days after the wedding Spock was back at his place on the bridge. Uhura was off duty at the moment and a young Midshipman was in her station. Spock had come to his senses before she had caught him passed out on the bathroom floor. Since he had been uninjured by the fall he had made the decision not to bother sick bay with the incident.

For all Spock knew it was a perfectly normal reaction to what had transpired between himself and Uhura. It was the longest he had ever kept a mind link with someone before and that in itself was a taxing occupation. With his father dead he had no one to ask if he should be concerned or not. Since the event had not repeated itself he decided to ignore it.

The Enterprise approached the planet that they had been sent out to survey and settled into an orbit. Leaning forward over the panel Spock concentrated on the sensor readings that were coming into the ship's computers now that they were close enough. As he read the complicated readings a drop of bright green spattered the console.

Surprised Spock looked closer at the glistening droplet. As he inspected it another dripped down and joined it. Spock raised his hand up to his face and brushed his fingertips under his nose. He stared at the green stain that now marred his hand. The nose bleed was slight, but disturbing. Determined to keep it a secret Spock quickly rubbed off as much of the blood as he could with his hand. He licked his upper lip to remove the last traces and wondered what the best route was to remove the blood that now stained his hand.

"Spock?"

"Yes, Captain?"

"What is going on down on that planet?"

"Planet is class K, habitable with adaptation. Approximately 7,250 kilometers in diameter, 7 to 10 billion years old. Atmosphere is comprised of an oxygen, nitrogen mix, however it is too thin to breath without assistance. There are currently no signs of lifeforms. There is a large amount of volcanic activity on this side of the planet."

"So not exactly paradise?"

"No, Sir."

"Do you think you can find a safe spot for a landing party to take a quick trip for some soil samples, and such?"

"I believe so."

"Good, do it." Kirk ordered. "One other thing, Spock."

"Yes, Captain?"

"Why are you talking to me with your back turned? You never do that."

"My apologies, Captain." Spock turned around, keeping his hands behind his back.

"It wasn't an order to turn around, Spock, I was just curious wh..."

Kirk stopped cold and Spock could feel the thin trail of blood trickling down his skin once again. When he reached up to stop it he revealed that his hand was already stained. Kirk jumped up out of his chair and rushed over to him. Spock closed his eyes briefly, knowing that the Captain was going to make a big deal out of this. He was right.

"Sulu, take the con." Kirk ordered. "Spock, sick bay...now."

"Captain..."

"That is an order."

Spock stayed motionless for a moment but eventually he nodded. Kirk followed him as he made his way to the elevator. Once in the elevator Kirk looked at his friend critically. Spock offered no explanations for the bleeding. Kirk ordered the elevator down to the sick bay level.

"Spock, what's happening to you?"

"It is just a nose bleed, Captain. Nothing worth your alarm."

"If you were human I'd believe that, however from what I've seen you don't easily bleed, and certainly not without reason."

"There is always a reason, that does not make it life threatening."

"Spock, straight answer: do you know what is wrong with you?"

"I have a theory."

"Care to share it?"

"No, Sir."

Before Kirk could rephrase and press harder for answers they arrived at the sick bay level. Spock marched off towards the medical department as if they were going there to administer a lethal injection. Bones was busy wrapping the hand of an engineer who had cut himself during a repair. Spock stood at the entrance to sick bay, waiting his turn. Nurse Chapel noticed Spock instantly and tapped on McCoy's shoulder. She took over finishing with the engineer's hand. Bones turned around and saw Spock standing in his sick bay with blood once again dripping from his nose.

"What happened, Spock? Captain take a swing at you?"

"No, Doctor."

"He just started bleeding, Bones." Kirk informed.

"Well come on over, let's see what we can do for you."

"Thank you, Doctor."

"You must really be sick if you're willing to submit to my care so easily." Bones said half jokingly.

"I am under the impression that I have no choice."

"Your impressions are right, I don't want you on my bridge unless I know you're healthy."

Spock nodded solemnly. He walked over to the medical table that Bones was standing by and sat on it. McCoy's first order of business was to get the bleeding to stop. He handed Spock a square of absorbent fabric and gave him instructions to apply pressure to his nose with his head tilted back. Spock swallowed convulsively against the sickening taste of blood that suddenly ran down the back of his throat.

"Okay, the bleeding should have stopped now." Bones said as he took the cloth away and handed him a damp towel. "Here you can get the blood off your hands with this."

Spock accepted the towel and rubbed the drying blood off his hands and upper lip. Once he was clean McCoy guided him to lay down. The vital sign display jumped to life and went crazy with beeping and flashing. Bones allowed a look of irritation to flash over his features before tapping on the panel that controlled the display. The computer calmed down considerable.

"Bones?" Kirk asked nervously.

"It's okay, Jim, the equipment was set for human, it thought he was deep in defibrillation, which he isn't. However, his blood pressure is high, even for a Vulcan. Spock, have you had any headaches, dizziness, or vision problems?"

"Not currently."

"You know what I love about you, Spock?" Bones said suddenly.

"I can not possibly imagine."

"You have an uncanny ability to avoid the truth without lying. For goodness sakes man, I am trying to help you."

"Very well, Doctor, I have had several headaches in the past two weeks. I have been suffering from an imbalance, but I assure you that it is completely natural for a Vulcan."

"You're suffering from an imbalance right now, your adrenaline and dopamine levels are dangerously high."

"It will pass." Spock announced as he sat up.

"Spock, if you don't tell me what this is I can't allow you back on the bridge." Kirk said seriously. "I understand that it's a violation of your privacy, but I have to think about the safety of my crew...which includes you."

"Is my word that I will recover not sufficient? I am your First Officer, I would have hoped to have your trust."

"Damn it, Spock." Kirk growled.

Spock stared at Kirk, clearly not ready to back down an inch. Sighing in frustration Kirk looked to McCoy for support. Bones knew that if Spock wasn't interested in discussing something that nothing would pry the information from his throat. Kirk knew it as well.

"You have my trust, Spock, you know that."

"Thank you, Captain."

"I still can't in good conscious allow you on duty against medical advice."

"And my advice is to at the very least give you a anti-hypertension medication."

"That is not necessary."

"It is if you want my medical seal of approval. I'm not releasing you from sick bay with blood pressure that high."

"Very well."

Bones quickly prepared the hypo and administered it. The vital signs displayed that had been blinking red returned to a blue hue. Spock didn't appear any better or worse for the treatment and continued to just silent watch his friends. Kirk was about to continue with his pointless questioning when the bridge hailed him.

"Kirk here."

"Captain," Sulu voice replied "urgent distress call from the Independence."

"The Independence, that's a war frigate, what's her condition?"

"No word on that, Captain. The distress call is just her beacon. She will not respond to any hails."

"How far?"

"She's close, Sir, less than an hour at Warp 6."

"Plot the course, leave now, alert Star Fleet, condition yellow stations." Kirk ordered and then tapped the intercom. "Scotty?"

"Aye, Sir?"

"Can you get us Warp 8 for a quick jump?"

"Aye, it won't be efficient, but I can do it."

"Then do it."

"Aye, Sir."

"Bones, is Spock medically fit enough to be on the bridge?" Kirk asked

"I can't answer that, I don't know enough about his condition."

"I do." Spock interrupted. "I am able to perform my duties as First Officer."

"I'm going to take your word for it." Kirk nodded.

Spock jumped down off the exam table and stood waiting for orders. When they made their way to the bridge McCoy wordlessly followed them. At Warp 8 it was not going to take long to catch up with the distressed ship. Kirk took his place in the Captain's chair with Spock and Bones standing to either side. Uhura arrived on the bridge, ready to take her usual post during condition yellow.

"Sulu, drop out of Warp just beyond her sensor range. Spock can we see her before she sees us?"

"Yes, Captain. The USS Independence is an older craft with shorter sensor range. However, she has far superior armor and weapons than the Enterprise."

"Which is why I want to see her before she sees us."

"A wise precaution."

"Jim, you don't think someone's taken over the Independence do you?"

"The thought has crossed my mind, Bones."

"Dropping out of Warp, Sir." Sulu announced.

"Spock?"

Understanding the Captain's unspoken directions Spock walked over to the sensor board. He read the information that was flickering past too quickly for human eyes to truly read. As he determined the nature of the ship's condition Uhura was busy as well. She had a look of concentration as she tapped on the communications panel.

"Captain," Spock called "the Independence is externally undamaged and running under full impulse power. Life signs show a considerable number of lifeforms on board."

"Stay on her tail, Sulu."

"Aye, Sir."

"Any idea where they are heading?"

"Currently they appear to be courseless." Spock replied. "At their present speed the only terrestrial body they could hope to arrive at in any decent time would be the class K planet we just left from, and they are not heading in the proper direction."

"Captain?" Uhura asked.

"Yes?"

"The Independence is attempting to make contact with Star Fleet."

"What is stopping her?"

"They are not broadcasting in sub-space, they are on a local frequency."

"Perhaps they have lost sub-space capabilities and are desperate to contact any Federation vessel in the area." Spock theorized.

"Then why didn't they answer our hails before?"

"Sir, I believe Lieutenant Sames was trying via sub-space." Uhura replied.

"Captain, there is another possibility." Spock said. "If the Independence has been compromised and the crew only had a short time to react they may have knocked out the sub-space and set off their distress beacon to ensure that any vessel approaching did so with extreme caution, and that their captors could not use the sub-space communication to their advantage."

"Just how well armed is the Independence?" Bones asked.

"She could tear us apart." Kirk replied solemnly. "We're faster, but if we had to run we'd have to turn tail and do it in a hurry. Even at this distance she could fire on us if we gave our position away by conntacting them."

"Captain," Uhura said "message from Star Fleet, priority one: investigate the Independence. There are no other ships within range for support."

"Why are we always the only ones around?" Kirk demanded. "Where do the other starships hang out?"

"The USS Intrepid is currently in the Delta quadrant, the USS Phoenix is stationed at Earth for repairs, the USS Endurance is..."

"Thank you, Spock." Kirk interrupted. "I wasn't really looking for a full report."

"What are we going to do, Jim?" Bones asked.

"Sulu, be ready to get us out of here if you have to. Uhura hail them on local."

"Yes, Captain." Uhura tapped the panel. "Open channel."

"USS Independence this is the USS Enterprise, Captain James Kirk. Please acknowledge and describe the nature of your distress call."

"Captain," a gruff voice replied "I was starting to feel like no one at Star Fleet cared about the lives of the Independence."

"Captain," Sulu said urgently "the Independence is changing course to come towards us."

"Stay where you are Enterprise," the mysterious male voice growled "or I will slaughter every last soul aboard this ship."

"What do you want?" Kirk demanded.

"I just want to talk..."

"We can 'talk' from here."

"I want you to see some of the faces of the lives at stake."

"Transmission ended, Captain." Uhura announced. "They will be in rage for visual communication soon."

"Captain," Spock returned to Kirk's side "if we stay here we will not have sufficient distance between us if the Independence decides to attack."

"If we move that mad man is going to start killing." Bones countered.

"Either way there is a good chance the crew of the Independence is already lost." Spock said.

"Good grief, you ice-blooded devil, we can't take that kind of chance with their lives!" Bones spat.

"You suggest instead that we gamble with our own?"

"Gentlemen, please." Kirk interrupted. "We're staying, if the Independence opens fire I'm sure Sulu can out maneuver her enough to get us out of here with little more than damage to our pride. Spock can you get a number on how many are aboard?"

"They will have to approach closer," Spock returned to the sensors "but soon I will have that number."

"Good run it against how many the banks say there should be. At least we'll have a good guess as to what we are dealing with."

"Captain, there are twenty-seven extra persons aboard the Independence."

"Not bad odds..."

"Captain," the man's voice was accompanied by a visual of a powerful man who had the look of a hard life about him "since we seem unable to use this ship's sub-space communications you will relay our demands to Star Fleet."

"You do realize that Star Fleet does not negotiate with hostage takers." Kirk replied calmly. "Where is the Captain of the Independence?"

"Captain Thames put up a good fight, sadly I was forced to kill him."

"Thames..." Spock muttered under his breath.

"Who are you?" Kirk demanded.

"I am Zions."

"What is it that you want?" Kirk asked to buy time.

"We want the complete and immediate withdrawal of the Federation from the Tangary System."

"There are eight developed planets in the Tangary System," Spock noted "do you mean to tell us that you speak for the governments and people of all eight planets?"

"I speak for Star Systems everywhere who do not wish to be under your oppressive thumb! Heed my warning, Captain, I will slaughter a member of this ships crew every ten minutes that our demands are not listened to. Turn to run and I will disable your ship as well. This crew's time starts now!"

The hostage taker, Zions, reached off screen and dragged a young female Medic into view. Tears stained her face as he brutally yanked on her hair to pulled her head back. Zions placed a knife against her throat and pressed hard enough to cause a thin red line to drip down the blade. The Medic whimpered pitifully as she started to tremble from fear.

Spock stared at the woman who had been chosen first to die. Grinding his teeth together he desperately tried to contain and control the sense of rage that was quickly consuming his thoughts. Taking a deep breath he managed to regain his composure. He turned away from the view screen to face Kirk.

"I will take care of this, Captain." Spock announced.

"Spock?"

Without any further word Spock turned on his heels and headed for the elevator.

"Spock? What are you..." Kirk stopped as the elevator door closed. "Bones, why does the name Thames sound so familiar?"

"He graduated the Academy with Spock, he spoke of him a few times, always with the highest of regards."

"Of course, I remember now."

"You have eight minutes, Captain," the gang leader snarled "and I don't see you making any moves to contact Star Fleet."

"Sub-space communications are being blocked by a near by nebula," Kirk lied "we'll have to move the ship out of the area..."

"I do not believe you."

"Believe me or not that's the tru..."

Kirk trailed off as there was suddenly sounds of panic and chaos on the other ship. Zions took his attention off the Captain and the view screen to attend to the unexpected distraction. From beyond the door of the Independence's bridge came a cacophony of phaser fire, and shouting. Zions and the seven other men who had taken over the bridge looked at one another in confusion.

When the bridge door opened Spock stepped out and did not hesitate to drop the two closest men with his phaser. A third man rushed him physically and he calmly lashed out and stuck the man in the chest so hard that he passed out, or possibly died. The fourth cried out in rage and charged him as well. Instead of his usual method of putting combatants to sleep Spock used one hand to easily snap the man's neck.

Zions shoved his captive away and threw the knife in his hand at Spock's back with an amazing amount of force. Alerted to the knife by the sound it made cutting through the air Spock turned around. He snatched the knife out of the air by the blade and whipped it back in the direction that it had come with blinding speed. Zion staggered back and fell to the floor with the knife sunk deep into his throat.

Spock glared in the direction of the last three men and they all fell to their knees and laced their hands behind their heads. Switching the phaser to stun Spock knocked the remaining three out. The entire scene had only taken minutes to play out. Spock walked up to the front of the bridge to address the Enterprise.

"The ship is your's, Captain."

Acting as if nothing had happened Spock turned away and headed out of the bridge, presumably to the transport room to return to the Enterprise. The entire bridge of the Enterprise that had just witnessed the forceful recapture of the Independence was left in a stunned silence. Even the Captain was staring at the screen in utter disbelief.

"Okay...um..." Bones said slowly "did that scare the living daylights out of anyone besides me?"

*********


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

"Spock, have you completely lost your Vulcan mind?"

"No, Captain. I did only what was logical."

"Logical?" Bones snapped. "You killed eight men!"

"I saved four hundred and thirty-seven, possibly nine hundred and forty-two if the Enterprise had also been taken or destroyed."

Kirk and Bones looked to one another, Spock did have a point. Sitting at the briefing room table Kirk reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose. His normally solid as a rock First Officer was quickly becoming a loose cannon. The shift in personality was increasingly alarming, and the violence of his recent actions was spreading through the ship like wildfire. As it was there were enough of the crew that were leery of having a Vulcan on board.

"Spock, I'm not saying that your plan didn't work. It is just so unlike you. We have been in plenty of situation where we could have used your impressive skill and strength to escape and you've never used it. Not like you did today."

"In every other case I believed that a better solution would present itself...and in each case I was proven right."

"You didn't think there was a better way this time?" Bones asked.

"No, Doctor. The chances of the Captain coming to a solution within the ten minute time frame were too small to be calculated. I had the power to prevent the Medic's death, so I used it."

"Are you telling me that revenge had _nothing_ to do with your actions?" Bones asked doubtfully.

"Revenge? I do not understand."

"Captain Thames was a friend of your's."

"Captain Thames, at the time Cadet Thames held nothing but contempt for me."

"What?" Kirk asked in surprise. "You always spoke so highly of him."

"He was an outstanding student, a level headed man, and I always believed that one day he would make an excellent starship Captain. His personally feelings towards me did not affect my admiration for him."

"Logical." Kirk shrugged.

"Precisely."

"You know we are standing here accusing you of not acting like yourself...but you are sounding more and more like the Spock I know."

"That is because I have not changed, only your perception of me has."

"Perception my ass." Bones huffed. "Spock, you had a murderous glare in your eyes that I have never seen. You didn't hesitate for even a second to kill Zions."

"To hesitate would have been to die."

"You had his knife."

"You will find he also carried a phaser."

"He's right, Bones, Zions was still armed and dangerous."

"Captain," Spock said solemnly "I apologize for not discussing my plans with you before hand, however, time was not on our side and any advance warning given to Zions would have ended the mission before it had begun. If you wish to bring charges against me I will readily stand trial."

"I'm not bringing any charges against you, Spock." Kirk shook his head sadly. "In fact don't be surprised to find another medal being pinned on your chest next time we swing by Star Fleet Headquarters."

"Then what is this inquiry about?"

"It's about you going all Vulcan psycho on us." Bones said bluntly.

"I believe I have explained myself adequately. Besides, Doctor, you yourself stated that my blood levels are returning to normal."

"What I said was that your adrenaline was down, you've probably simply run out after that little stunt of your's."

"Captain," Spock turned to Kirk "I am exceedingly tired, may I retire to my quarters."

"Yes, of course."

"Jim..."

"McCoy, unless what you're going to say next is backed up by medical fact: I don't want to hear it."

McCoy gave Kirk a sour look, but he did not voice his opinion further. Spock got up and left the pair to argue in private. With the door closed Bones figured that Spock was unable to over hear them, he was wrong. Spock paused for a moment and listened to McCoy voice his fears about him as clearly as though he was standing in the room. The doctor no longer trusted him, and feared for the safety of others around him. Although he had no medical evidence he theorized that Spock was losing his hold on his Vulcan control of emotion with disastrous results.

"Completely illogical conclusion, Doctor." Spock muttered to himself.

As he continued to walk on Spock noticed an odd sensation in his ribs over his heart. Pausing for a moment he rubbed at the spot, but it didn't seem to affect the odd pang. He was unaware that what he was experiencing was a direct result of having heard his friends talk about him behind his back. Confused he returned to quarters.

He had not been lying when he told the Captain that he was tired. The one-man siege on the ship had been taxing. Once he laid down, however, he found himself increasingly restless. He sat up in bed and sighed heavily. He jerked his head slightly to a sound that had caught his attention. He was used to hearing voices in the hallway, but this voice had Vulcan accent. He closed his eyes to concentrate on the voice. It was not the first time he had thought he'd caught a Vulcan voice on the ship in the past few days.

Anubis jumped up on the bed and broke Spock's concentration with this purring. He gently picked up the cat and held it close to his chest. Stroking Anubis's soft fur helped bring down his heart rate, which had begun racing once again. Looking around Spock tried to decide what to do next. Before he had to make the difficult choice the intercom whistled.

"Spock here."

"Spock," Uhura's voice tickled Spock's sensitive hearing "you have a request to answer a private call from Natala."

"Natala? Who is it?"

"Ambassador Tek'tiel."

Spock paused, unsure of if he wanted to receive the call. When he could not think of a logical reason to refuse he announced to Uhura that he would take the call. She switched the sub-space communication over to him.

"Ambassador Tek'tiel."

"Greetings, Spock."

"You have taken over my father's position, I see."

"I did not wish to, but Vulcan requires an Ambassador. I was the logical choice."

"Indeed." Spock nodded. "What is it that you want Ambassador?"

"I wish for you to return to Natala immediately."

"You are wasting both your and my own time. I will not return."

"You must."

"The High Council has made my exile clear."

"Councilor Ry'in spoke in...haste. The order has been reversed you are free to return."

"I am also free to stay where I am." Spock said firmly.

"Spock..." Tek'tiel paused. "Spock, I am only trying to help you."

"What makes you think I need your help?" Spock demanded.

"If you do not need it now, you will soon."

"I do not understand."

"The analyzing computer did not get your age correct when Ry'in scanned you due to your human blood. But I know your true age, and I know when you received your ka-flash knife."

"Why is my age a concern to the High Council?"

"There may be certain...consequences to your age."

"If you are referring to what I believe you are the situation is both none of your business, and already taken care of."

"Yes, your marriage to the human Uhura." Tek'tiel said with a hint of a sigh. "We know, however, I assure you that it will not help."

"I do not understand."

"Have the nose bleeds started yet?"

"How do you kno...wait...you are doing this to me." Spock accused.

"No..."

"T'pring," Spock continued "you are some how using the bond I share with her to force my return."

"That is not logical, Spock."

"It is perfectly logical!" Spock snarled with a sudden flare in temper. "My father's bonded mate died when she was only seventeen years old, so he had no connection to anyone when he met my mother. I on the other hand, I am still bonded to T'pring. Our minds have touched and now you use it as a weapon."

"Spock, you are delusional." Tek'tiel said calmly.

"T'pring would gladly release me, she wants nothing to do with me, and I wish nothing to do with her. You, however, you would have power over her, you could force her into this."

"I have done nothing of the sort. I am only trying to help you."

"That's not logical, you hate me!" Spock cried angrily. "There is no reason for you to help."

"Hate is a human emotion."

"I have seen it in your eyes every time you have laid them upon me, ever since I was a child." Spock hissed. "Must I pay my entire life for a decision that was my father's, not my own?!"

"Listen to yourself, Vulcan. Yes, I call you Vulcan, because you are one of us." Tek'tiel said sternly. "You know that I have always held both you, and your father, in the highest regards. Your mind is inventing this persecution. You have accomplished more than anyone could have every hoped of you, despite your human blood."

"Can you even hear yourself?" Spock demanded. "'Despite your human blood'...what if it is _because_ of it?!"

"You are not well, you are a danger to yourself and others." The Ambassador insisted. "Please, return to Natala, we will do everything in our power to help you."

"Never! Natala is not my home, and I will have nothing to do with it!"

"Spock, you are being emotional."

"Yes." A vulpine grin slipped across Spock's features. "Yes I am, and I _love_ it!"

"It will destroy you."

"I do not care."

"Disregard for one's own life, Spock, is the first sign of insanity..."

"I will not return."

"Then you will die."

"So be it."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

It had been two weeks since Spock's one man take over of the USS Independence. They had done all they could for the ship and she had headed back to Earth alone. After finishing up with the class K planet they were now heading through the vastness of space towards a peace treaty signing between to waring worlds that the Federation had agreed to mediate.

Kirk sat in the Captain's chair staring out the front view screen at the stars that slowly moved past them. It was around shift change time, but he had no intention of leaving the bridge. It wasn't that the Enterprise needed him sitting here, he simply didn't have anywhere better on the ship to be. He glanced over at the empty spot where Spock was usually staring at the sensors.

"I hate mediations." Kirk muttered to himself. "Mr. Sulu, is there anyway we can get there sooner? Quicker we get there, the quicker we can leave."

"Sorry, Captain, the only direct route would take us through the Taphasian Nebula, which wrecks havoc with navigational equipment."

"Sulu..." Kirk said slowly "turn around."

Sulu glanced over at Chekhov who just shrugged helplessly. Sulu sighed heavily and swiveled around in his chair. He brought his eyes up to the Captain's slowly with a sheepish smile. Kirk knit his brow together at the sight of his pilot. The bridge of Sulu's nose was a deep purple that fanned out under his eyes in a myriad of sickly colours.

"Sulu, what happened?"

"Um...Mr. Spock and I had a...spirited match this morning."

"Match? Fencing?"

"Aye, Sir."

"And Spock broke your nose?" Kirk asked in shock.

"Uh...no, not exactly." Sulu admitted. "I broke it."

"He ran into ze vall." Chekhov chuckled.

"What?" Kirk asked.

"The match got a bit more intense than usual and at one point I launched myself at him. Mr. Spock was too quick for me. He stepped to the side, and I slammed into the wall."

"It vas von heel of a fight, Sir." Chekhov beamed.

"You were watching?"

"Aye, Sir. Every von has been." Chekhov replied. "Zey put on quite a show, zey draw a crowd. If I didn't know ane better I say zey truly vanted to keel von another."

"Mr. Sulu?"

"It's just a game, Captain."

"I know, you and Spock have been fencing for years. But you've never come to the bridge black and blue."

"I don't know how to explain it, Captain." Sulu shrugged. "These days when Spock and I have a match it feel more...real."

"Real?"

"Like I said, it's hard to explain. I just feel like I'm truly up against an enemy, a formidable one at that."

"And how does Spock react to these 'games'?"

"He seeks me out for them."

Kirk thought about this, not sure if it was anything to worry about or not. Before he could come to a decision he heard the elevator doors swishing open. Glancing over his shoulder he was just in time to catch Spock and Uhura separating hastily to act as though nothing had been happing on the ride up. Uhura hurried over to her communications board.

"Careful, Spock." Kirk warned.

"Captain?"

"Those elevators all have security cameras." Kirk smiled.

"I am aware of this fact, I simply do not see how it is relevant."

"Ask, Uhura later."

Spock gave the Captain a doubtful look. Rather than pursuing the conversation further Spock walked past the Captain to stand by Sulu's side. Sulu looked up through his raccoon mask bruising and smiled brightly.

"I am sorry that you were injured, Mr. Sulu. I do hope this will not keep us from being able to pursue future encounters."

"No, of course not. My fault really, I sort of lost my head." Sulu admitted. "Dr. McCoy wants me to wait until the swelling goes down."

"Understandable." Spock nodded. "I wish you a speedy recovery."

"Thank you."

Kirk had watched the entire conversation carefully. The last thing he needed was any kind of growing animosity between his bridge crew. However, it was clear that Spock and Sulu were both enjoying the violent sport without any hard feelings about the results afterward. Spock went his post by the sensors and everything settled into seemingly normal pattern. The intercom buzzed for Kirk's attention.

"Kirk here."

"Captain," McCoy said formally "may I see you in Medical for a moment?"

"Sure." Kirk looked over his shoulder. "Spock, take the con."

Spock took a moment to respond to the request, but eventually he got to his feet and wandered over to the Captain's chair. Kirk hesitated to leave, it looked like Spock was breathing heavily. However when he spotted the lipstick stain on the tip of his ear he felt that he knew the cause. Without thinking about it Kirk reached out to remove the stain from Spock's ear.

Kirk's motion had been caught by Spock long before the Captain had a chance to touch the Vulcan. Spock jerked his head away and snatched Kirk's wrist in a painfully tight grip in one fluid motion. The contact sent a surge of rage through Kirk's heart that threatened to overwhelm him. The Captain and Spock locked eyes for a moment, and found themselves staring each other down like junk yard dogs looking for a fight.

They were a fraction of a second away from a brawl for no apparent reason. The entire bridge had taken notice of the instant change in the emotional atmosphere in the room. All eyes were on the pair as they waited with baited breath to see what the next moment would hold. Kirk found his anger flash to fear, a fear that for a split second he could see reflected in Spock's eyes. Spock instantly released the Captain and folded his hands in his lap.

"My apologies, Captain, you startled me."

"That's okay, Spock. Mind the store while I see what McCoy wants."

"Mind the store?" Spock repeated confused. "I do not understand."

"Never mind, just call me if anything goes wrong."

"Of course, Captain."

Feeling a bit uneasy about leaving the bridge Kirk looked to Uhura. She looked away quickly and pretended to busy herself with something on the computer in front of her. She was hiding something and he didn't like it. Nothing was out of place in any way that he could name, but the whole ship had the feel of the calm before the storm. Shaking his head to clear it Kirk made his way down to McCoy's office.

"What happened to your wrist?" Bones asked instantly.

"Nothing."

"Then why are you rubbing it?"

"Why did you want to see me?" Kirk asked rather than answered.

"There has been an alarming up swing in crew violence." Bones tapped on his screen and brought up several medical charts. "In the past week I've treated twenty men for minor wounds."

"Fights?"

"No one will admit to them being fights. In fact most of them come in here in pairs saying they just got carried away during training exercises."

"Do these incidences inculde Sulu?"

"They do."

"I talked to him about that, he seemed at a loss to explain exactly what had happened."

"I have a theory." Bones said seriously.

"Do I really want to hear it?"

"Probably not."

"Run it past me anyway." Kirk said, sounding like he didn't mean it.

"Spock's a telepath."

"You're just figuring that out?"

"Listen, Jim, all of these fights have been at times when Sulu and Spock have been playing their ridiculous 'games'. With enough concentration Vulcans can influence other minds...without even touching them."

"You think that Spock is somehow projecting his own bottled up emotions on others?"

"That is exactly what I think."

"Bones, I can't take this. I need some facts. I can't lose trust in my First Officer over theories."

"Jim, you feel it too, I know you do." Bones insisted. "Something is wrong with Spock, something is happening to him."

"He's been through a lot lately, exile, marriage..."

"You're making excuses for him."

"You're right." Kirk sighed and dragged his hands through his hair. "What should I do, Bones?"

"I don't have enough Vulcan expertise to diagnose him properly. He needs to be taken back to Star Fleet and given a complete medical and psychiatric evaluation by a Vulcan specialist."

"That's asking a hell of a lot, Bones. What if you're wrong? Will Spock ever trust us again if we put him through the humiliation of being striped down by Star Fleet for nothing? Not to mention the fact that it could ruin his career even if they don't find anything."

"Captain," Bones growled "are we really going to wait until he hurts someone?"

"This is Spock we are talking about, he wouldn't hurt anyone on this ship."

"Why is your wrist bright red?" McCoy countered.

Kirk looked down at his wrist where Spock had grabbed him and recalled the sudden feeling of rage.

"Jim, you know I respect Spock, and despite the hard times he and I give one another you know that I am proud to call him my friend. However, I'm a doctor first and a friend second, and as Chief Medical Officer I am telling you there is something not right with him."

Kirk nodded and walked with purpose over to the intercom.

"Spock, see me in medical."

"Acknowledged."

"At least he still follows orders." Kirk tried to sound light hearted.

"For now."

The seriousness in McCoy's voice sobered Kirk to the reality of the situation once more. They waited for Spock to arrive. He did not keep them waiting long. Stepping into McCoy's office he waited for the door to close before speaking. He stared at a point directly between the doctor and the Captain.

"Captain, Doctor," Spock said evenly "I grow weary of your constant inquisition into the state of my health. You feel I am unfit for duty then by all means remove me from my commission. If that is not your intent then I must ask that you cease this. If you can not, or will not, then I make my request now to be transferred to another starship."

"Spock," Kirk said carefully "we're your friends, we are trying to help yo..."

"The condition is known as pon farr." Spock said suddenly.

"Pon farr?" McCoy repeated. "A disease?"

"Far from it, Doctor." Spock closed his eyes. "Vlucans are logical creatures, however, finding a mate is not a logical process..."

"That is what this is all about?" Kirk asked feeling relieved. "Vulcan rut?"

"The fact that you would put it in such vulgar terms is precisely the reason why I did not wish to discuss the matter with you." Spock growled. "It is not something that Vulcans talk about, even among themselves.

"Spock," Bones said gently "do Vulcans become emotional during this time?"

"In our own way." Spock nodded.

"When will it be over?" Kirk asked.

"...soon." Spock replied after hesitating.

"Soon?" Kirk repeated. " A day, a week, a month, a year?"

"It should not last longer than another week."

"It will take us nearly that long to get to the peace signing. I want you to rest until then."

"Are you reliving me of duty?"

"For the time being, yes."

"Very well. Am I dismissed?"

"Yes...and Spock?"

"Yes, Captain."

"Thank you for telling us. It won't leave this room."

Spock simply replied with a shallow bow. Turning on his heels he left swiftly. Spock rushed back to his quarters, ignoring the shipmates in his path. Once in the privacy of the quarters he leaned his back against the closed door. Tears suddenly streaked down his face, he reached up and brushed them away. He panted for breath against a new emotion that he was unfamiliar with: fear.

"Stop this," Spock whimpered quietly "let me go."

A powerful spasm forced his back to arch as the muscles in his back snapped tight. When he was released he slid to the floor. Struggling to breath he looked down and jolted at the sight of green blood seeping into the fabric of his uniform on his chest as it dripped off his face. Reaching he started to rub the blood away from his nose.

Spock froze solid as the Vulcan voices returned. Over the past week they had been growing louder. The violent battles he had been engaging in with Sulu was the only thing that truly silenced the low level chatter, and the uncontrollable washes of emotion. Right now however he doubted that anything could keep the voices from assaulting his senses.

Spock curled his knees up to his chest and hid his face in his crossed arms as he wept bitterly for the first time in his life. He had told the Ambassador that he was enjoying his new brush with emotion, and at the time he had meant it. However as time passed he was finding it increasingly difficult to cope with. He had managed to hide his breakdowns from Uhura, but it was only a matter of time before he was discovered and it sent another stab of fear through his chest. His fear quickly degraded into anger and frustration.

"Release me!" Spock demanded. "You would have me destroyed because you can not have what you want from me? Where is the logic in that?!"

His emotions swinging wildly once again Spock scrambled to his feet. Usually he could calm himself before it got this out of control, but each day it was getting harder to suppress the feelings. Torn between fear, sorrow, and rage Spock paced like a caged tiger. Anubis came out to say hello, but when he saw the frantic Vulcan he hid under the bed. It was too late to try exhausting himself on the exercise deck, he couldn't leave him room in this condition.

Desperate for a solution Spock rushed into the washroom. Not bothering to take off his uniform he stepped into the shower and turned the water on to full cold. The icy water needled against his skin giving him a physical pain to concentrate on. He knew his body temperature was dropping quickly, but he didn't care. It was working and that's all that mattered.

Being a species that developed on a warm planet the cold water quickly started to send him into shock. Shivering as hypothermia began to set in Spock sat down in the shower before he fell down. Closing his eyes he peacefully allow the water to steal both his heat and his thoughts. Just as the edges of his consciousness started to slip away the water suddenly became hot. He snapped his eyes open and saw that Uhura had jumped in the shower to turn up the heat. She dropped to her knees in front of him.

"Spock!" Uhura cried in alarm as put her hands on either side of his face. "Spock, what are you doing?"

"It...it was helping..."

"I'm calling Dr. McCoy."

"No." Spock grabbed Uhura's wrist. "You are all I need. Please help me stand."

Uhura looked around nervously, but in the end she agreed and helped Spock to his feet. He looked tired so she helped him over towards the bed. Both of them were soaking wet, but they sat down on the edge of the bed anyway. Spock shivered and stared forward blankly.

"What were you doing? You could have killed yourself."

"No." Spock shook his head. "The water was not cold enough to actually kill."

"Maybe not normally, but you're not feeling well."

Spock turned his eyes on her.

"Don't look so surprised." Uhura forced a smile. "You think I haven't noticed that you don't sleep at night anymore? You think I don't know that when I'm not around you don't eat?"

"I am sorry."

"Spock, I love you. I want to help, but I can't if I don't know what's going on."

Spock sighed quietly and looked away again. Uhura slipped her hand into his and squeezed it tight. A slight smile touched his lips, but it quickly faded. After a few minutes of uncomfortable silence Uhura shifted her weight.

"Spock?"

"Yes?"

"Who is T'pring?"

"How do you know that name?" Spock demanded.

Uhura hesitated to answer, she had listened in on the private call out of concern. She felt Spock's entire frame stiffen at the mention of the Vulcan's name. Like someone had flipped a switch his defeated out of focus demeanor had turned to focused anger. He became more enraged as the seconds passed and he didn't receive an answer. Uhura pulled her hand out of Spock's, but it only served to agitate him further and snatched her wrists in a powerful vice like grip.

"How do you know that name?!" Spock growled dangerously.

"Spock...you're hurting me, please let me go..."

"Not until you _answer_ me..."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

"How is she?"

"I don't really know."

"Bones...what the hell kind of doctor are you?"

"Oh, well if you mean physically: she has a subluxed right shoulder, her wrist is broken in three places, laceration to the lower lip, and a deep bruise over her left temple with a small fracture in the superior orbital region of the frontal bone."

Kirk closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He listened to the list of Uhura's injuries in complete disbelief. It was like a nightmare, and he expected to wake from it at any minute. When McCoy reached out and put his hand on his shoulder Kirk realized that he wasn't going to be waking up in a cold sweat anytime soon.

"Jim, it's not her physical injuries that worry me."

"No?"

"No, I can fix them. It's the psychological effects that are the biggest issue at the moment. She hasn't said a word, she won't tell anyone what happened. Although it is painfully clear that Spock brutally attacked her."

"But he was the one to call security." Kirk pointed out.

"With red blood on his hands."

"That doesn't mea..."

"Jim, he attacked her, he admits to it."

"Shit."

Kirk paced back and forth in McCoy's office for a moment, unsure of the next step to take. Bones stayed quiet and let his friend wear marks in his carpeting. Eventually he stopped and looked to McCoy for guidance. Bones saw the look and smiled sadly.

"Go talk to him, find out what happened." Bones suggested. "Spock won't lie to you at this point."

"What about Uhura?"

"Christine is with her right now, I think that's best. I have her on a light sedative and if she becomes hysterical again I'll give her something stronger. You're not going to get any answers from her right now."

"Alright, I'll be back. Have you run any diagnostics on Spock?"

"No, I haven't had time."

"You don't think this whole 'pon farr' thing could have lead to this?"

"Honestly, Jim, I doubt it. I am confident that if Spock had known that Uhura was in danger from him that he would have had us lock him away long before it came to this."

"I agree."

After another moment's worth of hesitation Kirk turned and left medical. He took the long way down to the brig, still uncertain of how best to handle the situation. When he got to the long hallway that lead to the isolation cells his heart rate quickened. Two guards were standing on either side of a clear energy field door, staring forward and silent.

Swallowing hard Kirk stepped up to the door and looked at the prisoner inside. Spock was in the middle of the small room on his knees with his head bowed, and his hands held firmly behind his back. He was completly motionless, even the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed was barely noticiable. Green blood slowly slipped down the side of his neck from three scratch marks that ran from behind his pointed ear to his collar bone.

A familiar quiet buzzing sound caught Kirk's ear and he realized that Spock wasn't just holding his hands behind his back. Although he couldn't see he knew that a pair of bright blue bands of oppositely charged ions around each wrist were keeping them locked together.

"Are the ion restraints really necessary?" Kirk asked one of the guards.

"Commander Spock insisted."

"I see." Kirk sighed. "Alright, lower the shield."

"Captain?"

"You're armed, if anything goes wrong you have permission to stun us both if that's what it takes."

"Aye, Sir."

The guard punched in the code and the shield flickered more solid before disappearing completely. Kirk stepped inside and it raised up behind him once again. Spock made no motion to welcome his visitor or even acknowledge the fact that someone was there. Staring at a fixed point on the floor he remained a statue of ice. Kirk studied him for a moment and realized he wasn't as still as he first appeared, his hands were trembling slightly and he was chewing on the inside of his lower lip.

"Spock?"

For the first time Spock did not respond to the Captain's request for his attention.

"Spock, please, tell me what happened."

Spock's only response was a continued silence.

"Is this how Vulcans treat their women?" Kirk demaned.

"No." Spock whispered.

"Then what happened?"

"I do not remember."

"Is that the truth?"

"Yes."

"You must remember something or you wouldn't be on your knees in the brig looking like you'd welcome a slow painful death."

Although he did not look up Spock's eyes suddenly started tracking back and forth quickly as he recalled the terrible memory as best he could. Kirk waited for him to explain himself. Spock's eyes settled down and his shoulders drooped slightly in defeat.

"I...I remember seeing red blood staining my hands. Nyota was cowering in the corner, a look of pure terror pained on her beautiful, yet bloodied, face. Even though I did not recall how she became injured, the panic and betrayal in her eyes told me that I must have been the one who had hurt her."

"What were you two doing before your memories blacks out?"

"What is the extent of her injuries?" Spock asked quietly rather than answer.

"Nothing Dr. McCoy can't fix."

"I could have killed her."

"No..."

"Yes..."

The pain in Spock's voice was heartbreaking. He closed his eyes and his head dipped even lower, his chin coming to rest on his chest. Kirk found his own eyes brightening with tears seeing his friend so beaten down by his own actions.

"Spock..."

"Leave me."

"We have to figure out what is going on."

"No." Spock shook his head slightly. "There is no point. I am unfit for society. I will remove myself from it. It is logical."

"Logical? Spock, I can't just let you walk out of here, even if it is to maroon you on some deserted planet."

"That will not be necessary. I am enacting my own death penalty."

"Wha...what?"

"I will kneel in this spot until I starve."

Having explained his plan Spock mentally shut down. Although he couldn't physically leave it was clear that Spock's mind was no longer reachable. He had never looked up at Jim, but now his stare at the floor completely glazed over. Kirk knew that Spock had not made an idle threat, he truly could turn his consciousness in on itself and wait for death to take him. There would be no further talking to the Vulcan right now.

Despite the hopelessness of the act Kirk knelt down in front of Spock. He slowly reached out and put his hand on the catatonic Vulcan's shoulder. To Kirk's unending surprise Spock actually reacted. He slowly brought his dark eyes up to meet Kirk's as a solitary tear slipped down his cheek. Kirk could feel the depths of Spock's sorrow crushing down on his own heart, and it kept him from being able to find his own voice.

"Live long, and prosper, Captain. It has been an honor to call you 'friend'. Tell Nyota I love her, and that I am sorry."

"Spock..."

It was too late. Spock returned his gaze to the floor and the light of intelligence left his eyes. Locked in his own thoughts Spock no longer responded to the Captain's touch. Kirk sighed and got back to his feet.

"I'm not going to just let you die on your knees like a common criminal, Spock. You have an illness, and we are going to figure it out."

Unsure if his friend had heard his words or not Kirk waited for a response. When he didn't get one he shook his head sadly and turned to leave. The guards let him out and he returned to sick bay. Bones was waiting for him, standing outside a private room.

"Well?"

"Spock doesn't remember exactly what happened, but he has decided to starve himself to death as punishment."

"Typical Vulcan." Bones huffed.

"Is it? Is there any logic to blaming yourself for your actions when there is clearly something causing them that is beyond your control?"

"If it is a true mental illness then he would not be capable of understanding that he no control over his actions."

"Do Vulcans get mental illnesses or rather emotional ones?"

"There is Bendii Syndrome, which causes a slow loss of emotional control. However it is unheard of in young Vulcans." Bones explained. "Plus it doesn't lead to violence, normally it manifests with outbursts of laughter, crying, disorientation to time and place, and the victim often removes himself from others to avoid embarrassment. It is much like Alzheimer's disease."

"Can you test Spock for Bendii anyway?"

"It is a very invasive procedure, if he does not have it I might end up causing irreversible damage. It's normally diagnosed during autopsy."

"I see. Is Uhura in any state for a visitor?"

"Just be sure to leave if she becomes overly upset."

"I will."

Bones stood to the side and allowed Kirk to pass through the doors behind him. Nurse Chapel was still with Uhura, but when she saw the Captain she excused herself. Uhura had the back of the medical bed tilted up so that she could sit up. Her shoulder was encased in a tight fitting sheath that held various blinking lights that were no doubt fixing her subluxed joint. Her wrist was held in a similar brace. Much like Spock she wouldn't look at him.

"Uhura..."

"It's not his fault." Uhura replied instantly in a hoarse whisper. "Please, Captain, please believe me, please..."

"I believe you."

Uhura's eyes brightened with tears that she fought hard not to shed. Kirk stepped closer and offered her his shoulder to hide the tears on. She forced a smile and tried to collect herself, but in the end she lost the battle. Burying her head against Kirk's chest she broke into bitter tears. The Captain cradled her in a gentle embrace and let her cry.

"I'm sorry, Captain." Uhura whimpered as she pulled away from him.

"It's okay, take just take a deep breath."

Uhura nodded and did as suggested. It took a few minutes for the strong woman he knew to resurface. However, she pulled her shoulders back, despite the pain it caused, and looked him straight in the eyes. She searched his face, desperate to find answers. When she realized that he didn't have any she lost a bit of her regained confidence.

"Is he alright?" Uhura asked nervously.

"He's safe." Kirk replied vaguely. "Uhura, I need to know what happened."

"I wasn't feeling well on the bridge, I felt cold, cold to the bone." Uhura started her account. "I went to out quarters and Spock was close to passing out in the shower."

"Passing out?"

"He was sitting under an ice cold spray, fully clothed. Shivering hard he looked like he was going into shock. I wanted to call Dr. McCoy, but he insisted that he didn't need help. I didn't hear it all, I shouldn't have listened in at all... I should have known something was wrong."

"Don't worry about that. Do you know what triggered the attack."

"Yes." Uhura admitted.

Kirk gave Uhura a moment to continue. When she did not he reached out and brushed the tears away from her face. She glanced up at him.

"I mentioned a name. I had listened in on a private call between Spock and the new Ambassador. I didn't understand a lot of what they were saying, much of it was coded in their culture. I shouldn't have, I shouldn't have been listening...I was just so worried. He tries to act like his exile from Natala doesn't hurt, but it does, I know it does."

"You said something about a name?"

"Yes...it sent him into a rage..."

"What was it?"

"T'pring."

"Who is T'pring?"

"I believe that she was meant to be his wife."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

"Well, Bones?"

"Jim...he's dying."

"Already?"

"It's not starvation. Spock is in some sort of self induced coma..."

"A Vulcan trick no doubt." Kirk noted.

"I'm sure that it is, however, despite the calm exterior his green paint thinner blood is boiling with adrenaline, dopamine, seritonin, insulin, testosterone, endorphins...the list goes on."

"Those are all hormones."

"Yes, and powerful ones at that. They are pushing his organs to the limit, even with his Vulcan physiology given enough time it is going to kill him." Bones looked down on Spock and shook his head. "I can't believe that he can hold still, he should be bouncing off the walls like a Timmarian winged swamp rat hopped up on Rigilian mushrooms with all the chemical that are coursing through his veins."

"What about his mental state?"

"I can't say what levels like this would do to a Vulcan for sure, but I know if a human had an imbalance anything like this they'd be certifiably insane. Actually high dopamine levels are associated with schizophrenia, which can cause delusions, hallucinations, feeling of persecution..."

"Fits of rage?"

"Sometimes."

Kirk rubbed his eyes until he saw stars. Spock was at their feet, still on his knees. He hadn't made any reaction to the doctor's inspections, nor their words about him. His dark eyes were open, focused on a point in space a thousand light years away. Kirk had removed the ion restraints, but that didn't keep Spock from holding his wrists firmly behind his back.

Kneeling down in front of his friend Kirk snapped his fingers a few times in front of Spock's face. For a second Kirk could swear that he saw Spock's eyes narrow slightly in irritation, but he couldn't be sure. Standing back up Kirk put his hands on his hips and tried to decide what to do next.

"Jim, you have to get Spock back to Star Fleet, he needs specialized care."

"I can't turn this ship around, Bones, this peace treaty needs to be signed."

"To the devil with the peace treaty!" McCoy hissed.

"Besides we are six weeks at top Warp away from Earth...could you keep him alive that long?"

"No." Bones admitted begrudgingly.

"The Vulca..."

"Ma'am, you can't go down there!" One of the guards at the beginning of the hall suddenly shouted.

"The hell I can't!" Uhura barked. "Get your hands off me!"

Kirk looked out in the hallway and found that Uhura had indeed made it out of sick bay despite orders to rest. Still wearing the braces that McCoy had set her up with she winced in pain as she moved. Despite this she was seconds away from belting the guard and then probably kneeing him in the crotch. Kirk glanced back at Spock, he hadn't seemed to have noticed Uhura's voice.

"Ensign," Kirk called "it's alright, let her through."

"Thank you, Captain." Uhura said gratefully.

"If anyone can reach Spock, it's you."

Uhura smiled slightly and stepped into the cell. A pained expression fell over her face at seeing her husband kneeling on the floor near catatonic. She instantly knelt down in front of him, hoping that he'd look up at her. Spock remained unmoved, he didn't so much as blink. Uhura's deep brown eyes brightened with unshed tears.

"Spock? Baby, it's me...please, don't do this. I love you."

Spock closed his eyes, his first motion in hours. Uhura reached out to touch his temple but he titled his head away just enough to let her know that contact was not desired. She hesitated for a moment, waiting for him to respond further. When he didn't she leaned in and gently kissed him. Spock lost his resolve to shut her out, and returned the affection. Although staying on his knees Spock leaned into the increasingly amorous kiss.

Uhura was becoming breathless, but she wasn't about to break away from him even though he was biting down on her bottom lip hard enough to cause pain. The moment their skin had touched her heart had started pounding so hard she could hear it throbbing in her ears. Spock finally brought one of his hands from behind his back and went to touch her face. His fingertips hovered a fraction of an inch away from her skin, but he froze in place without closing the small gap between them. Spock slowly pulled away from Uhura's lips. He returned his hand to its place behind his back.

"Spock..."

"Nyota, I love you, I love you so much it is physically painful to be apart from you...but you are not safe with me. No one is. Please leave, and do not return."

Tears traced down Uhura's cheeks as she saw him slipping away again. Spock stared forward, no longer looking at her, but rather through her. Desperate to reach him again she ran her hands through his hair, but he was emotionless as a block of granite once more. The only thing that had change was now his whole frame trembled slightly, like he was fighting to keep from jumping to his feet. Uhura traced the edge of one of his ears without being rewarded by a reaction.

"Captain," Uhura looked up at Kirk "help him, please."

Kirk nodded and left Uhura and McCoy to keep watch over Spock. He went to his quarters to keep his next conversation private. He was just about to bring up the communications when a whistle from the bridge sliced through the air. Kirk was not in the mood for the disruption, but he answered it anyway.

"Kirk here."

"Private call from Natala, Captain."

"Natala?" Kirk asked surprised. "Who?"

"Ambassador Tek'tiel, Sir."

"Patch him through."

Kirk looked around the room, almost expecting the Vulcan to be behind him. He had come to his quaters to call the Ambassador for help with Spock. It was always unnerving to get a call when you were just going to call the person, it was doubly so when that person happened to be a full blooded Vulcan.

"Captain James T. Kirk, how may I assist you Ambassador?" Deciding not to lay all his cards on the table just yet Kirk held them close to his chest.

"Captain Kirk, I am calling to request that Spock be returned to Natala."

"Why? It is my understanding that he does not wish to return to Natala."

"I understand, however, it is of the gravest importance to his health."

"Why should you care about Spock?" Kirk asked suspiciously.

"All Vulcans are my concern. However, Spock is also my Bal'lat."

"I'm sorry, your what?"

"Bal'lat...in your culture I believe the closest translation is a godchild." The Ambassador clarified.

"So if something had happened to Sarek while Spock was still underage..."

"I would have taken over the responsibilities of raising him as my own, yes." Tek'tiel finished.

"And you were okay with that?" Kirk asked, looking to see if he could ruffle the Vulcan's feathers. "You took a risk of ending up with a half breed son."

"I had my reservations about it, however, it was logical to protect young Spock. Sarek had a dangerous job, and so he planned for the event of an untimely death."

"Does Spock know about all this?"

"No. Fortunately Spock reached an age where he no longer needed a father before Sarek's recent death."

"You're wrong, Ambassador, a son never reaches an age where he no longer needs his father."

"I can see the logic in that." Tek'tiel agreed. "Right now Spock needs the Vulcans, we are the only ones who have any hope of saving him."

"So you know what's wrong with him?"

"I am not authorized to answer that question, Captain."

"But you do know somehow that he is sick?"

"Once again, Captain, I may not answer that."

"Of course not." Kirk rolled his eyes. "More Vulcan silence, I'm getting used to it."

"Captain, under Star Fleet regulations your First Officer is no longer in possession of his faculties, he can not make rational decisions on his own. Therefore you have the power to make any decisions regarding his care yourself."

"Now just wait a minute..." Kirk growled.

"Turn Spock over to Vulcan, Captain, or I assure you he will die."

"If I give him to you, will he live?"

"That I can not guarantee. I can only say he has no chance without Vulcan care."

"I have to at least try to ask Spock what he wants."

"You will not like his answer."

"Ambass..."

"You have one hour to decide." Tek'tiel interrupted.

"What happens in one hour?"

"The Vulcan ship that is now running a parallel course to your ship will be ordered to return to Natala, and Spock will lose his one chance at life."

Kirk sat bolt up right at the news of his ship being escorted by Vulcans. The Ambassador had cut the channel off, not interested in further discussion. Kirk was just about to hail the bridge when the bridge hailed him first.

"Kirk."

"Capteen?" Chekhov's voice came through the intercom. "A sheep has yust come en to weiw of our sensors."

"Type?"

"She appears to be Wulcan, Sir."

"Thank you, Mr. Chekhov."

"Should we hail her?"

"No, just keep an eye on her."

While Kirk was thinking about his options McCoy and Uhura were still standing by with Spock. Despite Uhura's continued efforts Spock made no further acknowledgment of her. McCoy eventually stepped in when he noted on his tricorder that Spock's heart was starting to work twice as hard. He may not be showing any distress on the outside, but internally he was as violent and active as a stormy sea.

It had been about forty-five minutes since the Captain had left before they heard the sounds of him returning.

"Right this way, Gentlemen."

Bones instantly picked up on the worried defeated tone in Kirk's voice. Whoever it was that the Captain was bringing to the cell, he didn't really want to. When the Captain arrived McCoy was shocked to see that he was being followed by three somber looking Vulcans.

"Where the devil did they come from?" Bones demanded.

"Please, Bones, not now." Kirk replied.

Uhura was still watching Spock and she gasped as he snapped his head up. Upon seeing the Vulcans his eyes widened in fear. He sprang to his feet and scrambled back. Slamming into the wall he backed into the corner as far from the visitors as he could get. His chest was heaving as he audibly panted for breath. Spock took his eyes off of the Vulcans to stare at Kirk in desperation.

"Captain, no!" Spock cried in terror. "No, don't let them take me! Please!"

"Spock..."

Before Kirk could continue and give his explanation for his decision the Vulcans moved in on Spock. For a moment it looked like there was going to be a fight. Cornered like an animal Spock was clearly debating with himself if he should lash out at his brethren or not. One of the Vulcans had a hypo much like the one Bones carried and he calmly approached the wild eyed hybrid.

Spock pressed himself harder into the corner that he'd backed himself into. Knowing he couldn't win by force he weld his eyes shut. Trembling in fright Spock yelped when the hypo was pushed against his chest. The Vulcan stood back and waited for the hypo to take effect. Spock clawed at the wall as he was dropped to his knees. After glancing at his wife he looked to Bones and Kirk in turn, a heartbreak expression frozen on his face.

"Captain...Jim, please...no..."

"I'm sorry, Spock."

Whatever drug the Vulcans had injected Spock with finally took a hold. He fought hard, but his eyes rolled back to white and he collapsed to the floor. The lowest ranking Vulcan reached down and lifted Spock up off the floor with seemingly no effort. With ruthless efficiency they signaled back to their ship and beamed out without ever having said a word.

Uhura buried her face in Kirk's shirt and cried inconsolably. Staring sadly at the spot where Spock had been just seconds before Kirk sighed. He held Uhura gently, but it didn't help comfort either one of them. Bones stepped up and put his hand on the Captain's shoulder supportively.

"You did the right thing, Jim."

"Did I, Bones? I'm not so sure..."


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter Fourteen

Spock woke to an unfamiliar sensation, one he did not find pleasant. Bones would have diagnosed it as a headache. Swallowing against a dry throat he tried to organize his thoughts. The differences between reality and nightmare had started to blur lately. Spock slowly opened his eyes and closed them tightly against the painfully bright light.

Quiet nosies that he couldn't identify mixed with an incoherent muttering that was barely above a whisper assaulted his hearing and caused his blood to flash to ice as fear suddenly lanced through his laboring heart. Irritated by the illogical anxiety Spock ground his teeth together. Realizing that the motion only caused his irritation to escalate into near fury he struggled to control his emotional swings through meditation.

A slow deep breath brought warm air into his lungs, air far warmer than any found on the Enterprise. Recalling the abduction a tear escaped from his closed eyes. The sorrow switched once again to fear as Spock realized that he was not only losing control over his emotions, but that they were also fluctuating so violently that at this rate holding on to his sanity was going to be difficult if not impossible.

Spock tried to call out for help, but only managed a pitiful moan. Forcing his eyes open he just allowed the light to sting as he slowly adjusted to it. Laying on his back he was staring up at a featureless ceiling. Turning his head to the side revealed a room much like the one he had been stolen from. Sitting up slowly he was over come by a moment of vertigo.

A pair of Vulcans appeared at the door that was no doubt sealed with a containment field. With his vision swimming slightly it took some effort for Spock to focus on them. Concentrating on his vision left his emotions unchecked, and at the sight of the men's Vulcan features Spock's blood instantly boiled.

Baring his teeth like a rabid animal Spock jumped to his feet to rush them. He only made it a single step before his legs gave out from underneath him and he crashed to the floor. Making it to his hands and knees he dry heaved violently against a powerful nausea.

"He recovered far sooner than expected."

"That is because he is half human." The older Vulcan noted.

"That is not logical, Doctor, as a hybrid he should be more susceptible to the tranquilizer than a true Vulcan."

Although still disoriented Spock forced his head up and turned a murderous glare on the Vulcan for the insult, but he still couldn't find his voice nor even stand.

"Spock's blood contains a human hormone known as adrenaline, it gives him strength against the drug's effects."

"Do you wish me to increase the dose?"

"No, his system has clearly not reacted well to it." The doctor shook his head. "There is no need anyway, he will still be manageable in this state. Bring him down to medical."

"Yes, Doctor."

The younger Vulcan signaled to another and together the entered the small cell. Spock struggled once again to get to his feet, but only fell backwards. Confused by his lack of coordination he tried again. This time the Vulcans took him by the upper arms and hauled him up. Feeling like he was on the deck of a ship that was pitching and yawing violently Spock was unable to remain standing on his own.

Not interested in being a willing captive Spock tried to twist out of their grip. Undisturbed by his display they continued to half lead, half drag him down the smooth stone corridors. Spock glanced up at the stone ceiling and noted the natural vein of silver running through it. It gave him the impression of being deep underground.

The trip was short, but exhausting. With every clumsy step Spock felt his energy being drained away. Despite the assistance he was beginning to drip with sweat. As the temperature rose his already disorganized thoughts stumbled over one another. For a moment he seriously considered just giving in and passing out.

Brought into a large room Spock tried to identify his surroundings. It was hard to distinguish the beeping and whirring of the computers and equipment that filled the room over the sounds of chatter and yelling. There were so many voices that it was impossible to decipher what any one of them was saying. Looking around the room however the only people Spock could see were the two men holding him, the doctor from before, and a young Vulcan female with long deep brown hair. None of them were the source of the voices.

The men holding him came to a stop and kept Spock on his feet with sheer brute force. The elder Vulcan doctor approached and passed a small bright light over his eyes. Crying out in pain from the searing light Spock weld his eyes shut and renewed his fight for freedom. In no shape to fight he gave in and bowed his head as he panted heavily for breath.

"Spock, can you understand me?" The doctor asked.

Trapped in the grip of vertigo from his struggling Spock's only reply was his eyes rolling back to white. He felt the doctor's hand touching his cheek. Fearing an impending mind meld Spock jerked back violently. The motion brought him close to having a seizure.

"His case is further progressed than I had thought." The doctor noted. "His internal temperature is dangerously elevated, make sure you run the water cold. Also six ccs of Trezerol, and start with 3.5 of Vulandin."

"Yes, Doctor."

Spock offered no resistance this time around when they dragged him over to the far corner. The female Vulcan approached with small needle gun held in her hand with two different coloured liquids in the gun's chambers. She pressed the gun against his throat over a major vein. There were two sharp stabs of pain followed by a icy feeling rushing through his blood. The drug cocktail eased some of the confusion in his mind and brought his situation into sharper focus.

When Spock felt one of the men going for his throat he abandoned his pointless attempts to twist out of their grip and instead used their support to kick at them. They did not retaliate in anger instead they just eased him down onto his knees. He felt a strong pair of hands grip onto the back of his uniform's collar. When they ripped the blue fabric Spock cried out as though they had torn open his skin.

It was not the humiliation of being stripped down that had triggered the emotional response, but the implications behind having the uniform stolen from him. When they pulled the ruined shirt off Spock managed to free one arm. He lashed out and grabbed a hold of the metal Star Fleet insignia pinned to the shirt.

The Vulcans attempted to wrestle the badge away from him, but only tore the fabric away. When they continued to try and take it away from him Spock held the metal so tightly that the sharp points dug into his flesh causing green blood to drip out from between his clenched fingers.

"Let him keep it," the doctor ordered "it is not worth the fight."

Spock did not relax his hold on the metal insignia in fear of a trick. He wanted to demand an explanation for the treatment he was receiving, but he couldn't seem to communicate. Anytime he tried all he could hear was growling and angry snarls that made no sense. When they cut away what was left of his clothing he started spitting insults that even he didn't understand.

"He is more disoriented than he should be, increase the Vulandin by another cc, and get his temperature down. He's delusional from the fever."

There was another needle stick as they pushed whatever their drug was into his system. The drug raced though his veins like ice crystals. It cooled not only his blood, but his mind as well. Before he could use the new focus against his attackers a spray of cold water struck the back of his neck. Enraged once again he battled against the forced shower. As his body temperature dropped so did his ability to fight. An antiseptic smelling soap suddenly assaulted his senses. He kept his eyes open despite the stinging from the soap but found his vision was still growing dim.

"Doctor, I believe he is about to lose conci..."

Spock didn't hear the rest of the sentence. The next time he woke was not nearly as violent as the first. He came to his senses slowly and took a deep breath of the pleasantly warm air. Fluttering his eyes open Spock was greeted by a soft bluish ambient light. The polished stone ceiling held a bright vein of silver, a metal once prized for its rarity and beauty. It took him a moment to realize that his mind was as clear and calm as a glass lake.

Able to think logically once more Spock sat up and took stock in his new situation. He had been laying on a bed that was bolted directly to the smooth stone wall. He was wearing a tan tank top made of a stretchy material and a loose fitting pair of matching pants that were closer to cotton than anything else. The room was approximately ten feet by fifteen. It didn't have much to offer in the way of features. An archway on the far wall near the back lead to a wash room and that was about it.

Spock looked down at the bed and found a dark brown short sleeved robe folded up neatly on the foot of the bed. He reached over and picked it up, noticing that his Star Fleet insignia had been pinned to it. Spock traced the edge of the symbol and remembering how he had managed to keep it he looked at his palm. There were marks where the pin had dug into the flesh, but the cuts had been cleaned and covered in a small patch of artificial skin.

Closing his eyes Spock sighed. Although in infinitely better control of his emotions he still felt a certain emptiness. Having nothing better to do Spock slipped the robe on, leaving it open in the front. Still sitting on the bed Spock turned his attention to the wall on his right. It was a shiny black slate, so perfectly smooth that he knew that it could not be made of a true solid material. It was nothing more than a tinted energy field. He stared into the inky non reflective surface for a few minutes.

"I can feel you there." Spock said quietly.

The black flickered and turned clear revealing the doctor that Spock was becoming familiar with. Taking a moment to push his anger to the back of his mind Spock slowly got to his feet. He was unstable at first, but was quickly able to regain his balance. He walked up to the invisible line that separated him from the older Vulcan.

The doctor raised his hand and split his fingers in the traditional Vulcan salute. Spock inspected the gesture for a moment before returning it. The doctor put his hand back down. Spock on the other hand pushed his hand out an inch further until it came in contact with the field that held him in the stone cell. The field sparkled blue around his hand until he removed it.

"I am to understand that I am a prisoner?"

"Spock..."

"Commander Spock." He corrected coldly.

"Of course, Commander..."

"You can not do this to me." Spock interrupted.

"We are only trying to help."

"Release me."

"I realize this is hard for you to understand at the moment, however, you are incredibly ill."

"In that case I wish to be under the medical care of my doctor, Dr. McCoy."

"He can not help you."

"And you can?" Spock raised a skeptical eye brow.

The doctor hesitated to answer, not a trait that Vulcans often displayed. He looked tired, and stressed. This fact did nothing to move Spock to sympathize. It wasn't in Vulcan nature to lie, so now that the doctor had been asked a question that he didn't have an acceptable answer to he had chosen to dismiss it instead.

The graying Vulcan reached out and tapped a few times on the shield between them and brought up a complicated display of medical readings. Although the images were backwards from Spock's point of view he could read them easily. His readings were not completely normalized, but they were far closer than the last time McCoy had taken readings.

"You have responded well to the Vulandin," the doctor nodded "this pleases me, it had not yet been tested on a half Vulcan."

"Logical...since I am the only one."

"True, however, it would seem that your human blood does not interfere with the drug anymore than it saves you from the Sickness."

"Release me." Spock insisted.

"To leave now is to die." The doctor informed truthfully.

"I wish to return to the Enterprise, no matter the cost."

"That is not logical. Besides, the only reason you are here is because your Captain James T. Kirk gave you to us."

"He had no right." Spock growled. "He is my Captain, not my Master."

"Sometimes we wonder..."

"My loyalties are none of your concern, I am loyal to those who are loyal to me. Now end this and release me!"

"You are getting angry."

"Yes, I am. How _dare _you use pon farr against me?"

"I assure you that we have not."

"You wish me to believe this is all coincidence?"

"It is not coincidence. Spock, what you are suffering from is triggered by pon farr, and shares some of the symptoms, but it is not the same. It only strikes males in their prime, twenty to sixty years of age. It begins as traditional pon farr, however nothing can be done to keep it from escalating. The victim experiences intense emotional out bursts, hallucinations, delusions, they become prone to violence. The Sickness has a progression that invariably leads to complete insanity followed by death."

"What causes it?"

"We do not know." The doctor admitted. "There is no logic to it. No pathogens can be detected, no common bond between victims beyond pon farr, autopsies show nothing physiologically defective other than a surge of hormones. We are chasing a ghost that kills at will."

Spock paused and thought over what he had been told. Recalling the Vulcan suicide at the Academy and the assault on Star Base 17 lead him to conclude that he was being told at least part of the truth. Would help account for the discrepancies between the Federation's numbers and what he had been told by Councilor Ry'in.

"When did this start?" Spock asked.

"The first recorded case occurred two months and eleven days after the willful destruction of Vulcan."

"That was over three years ago."

"Indeed."

"How many have died of this?"

"At present: two thousand three hundred twenty seven."

"That is a large percentage of our remaining numbers." Spock replied in shock.

"Yes, hence the need for the breeding program. The Sickness has a one hundred percent mortality rate. Vulandin slows the progression temporarily. The drug itself, however, is a poison and prolonged exposure leads to death as well."

"Why hasn't Star Fleet been informed about this epidemic?" Spock demanded.

"Only the High Council and a select few have been informed. This is a Vulcan affair, dignity must be maintained." The doctor replied defensively. "Vulcan will deal with it without the interference or aid of outworlders."

"In that case I know the cause of the impending Vulcan extinction."

"You do? What is it?"

"Pride."


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

"Gentlemen, if you don't work this problem out among yourselves in the next five minutes I'm going to go back up to my ship and end it for you...permanently."

Standing to Kirk's side in his dress uniform Bones nearly choked on his own spit in reaction to his Captain's sudden outburst. The two delegates from the waring planets froze solid and stared at him in a shocked silence. McCoy took Kirk by the elbow and forced a smile at the delegates.

"Excuse us for a moment."

Kirk rolled his eyes slightly as Bones dragged him through the archway into the next room. McCoy was absolutely speechless at first, but after a quick breath he found his voice once more.

"Are you out of your mind?" McCoy demanded.

"I can't listen to them bicker about this any longer, it's ridiculous."

"Whatever happened to diplomacy?"

"That's Spock's area of expertise."

"Granted, but you'd better go back in there and show a little expertise of you own or I suspect I'm going to find myself standing next to you in a court martial!" Bones hissed.

"Fine."

"Apologize, and for God's sakes, man, make it good."

Kirk rolled his eyes once again with a silent little murmur of distaste. Bones shook his head in frustration and followed the Captain back into the room. The delegates were sitting at the table glaring at one another in silence. They glanced over at Kirk with a look of apprehension.

"Sorry about that, gentlemen." Kirk painted on his most charismatic fake smile. "Now then, where were we?"

"Tarlin will not accept the fact that Hesta is ours!"

"The name is not 'Hesta' it is Yeris, and it belongs to us!"

"Just so we are all clear you are talking about the little planetoid between your two worlds?" Kirk asked.

"Yes." The delegates agreed for once.

"Why do you even care? It is too small to support life on its own. It would take a great deal of work to even establish an enclosed base there."

"It is sacred land."

"We held claim to it first!"

"Easy you two." Kirk interrupted. "How is it that this planetoid became sacred? You only developed space flight a few decades ago, and already you are at each other's throats."

"We have gazed upon Hesta since the dawn of time."

"And we have written scripture about it since the beginning of civilization."

"Can't you share?"

"Absolutely not!" They both growled.

Kirk sighed heavily as the men began to bicker once again. He looked to McCoy, but his friend had nothing to offer in the realm of advice. Once again Kirk was missing Spock's help, he was sure the Vulcan would clearly see a logical answer to all of this. Plus he also found that people tended to believe whatever it was Spock said simply because to them a Vulcan had said it.

"How about this: make Hesta/Yeris off limits? That way you both can still enjoy gazing upon it and writing about it without interference?"

"That..." the first delegate hesitated "is not a viable option."

"No, I agree, that is not acceptable."

"Why not? Any one of you planing a colony there anytime soon? You can barely fly, I doubt you have what it takes to terraform."

The delegates stared at one another for a moment. Kirk suddenly got the feeling that they were hiding a very important piece of information from him. He waited for them to offer this missing puzzle piece, but no one was offering.

"Have either of your worlds landed there yet?"

"Not...as such."

"No."

"If it is so sacred, shouldn't it remain untouched?" Kirk proposed.

Once again the delegates exchanged a meaningful glance. Kirk suddenly had the feeling that none of this had to do with religious devotion. He pulled out his communicator and hailed up to the ship.

"Scotty here, Sir."

"Scotty, what is the composition of the planetoid between Kale and Tarlin?"

"Uh...the composition, Sir?"

"Yeah, what's it made out of? Anything special?"

"That's...uh...that's really Mr. Spock's specialty, Sir."

"Mr. Spock happens to be several hundred light years away, so I'm asking you. You're an engineer."

"Aye, Sir, I know how to fix the sensors...can't say I understand everything about their readings."

"Figure it out."

"Aye, Sir."

Kirk closed his communicator and pinched the bridge of his nose. As much as it didn't surprise him, it was still difficult to admit how less smoothly everything ran now that Spock was gone. Fearing that Scotty might not be able to get back to him with an answer anytime soon Kirk turned back to the delegates.

"It's only a matter of time before I figure out what you two are hiding...so, let's just get this over and done with, shall we?"

The delegates exchanged looks and both suddenly had a defeated look on their faces.

"We have not landed on Yeris, but we have managed a preliminary scan."

"What did you find?"

"Nurillium and Rillian."

"And I take it you know about this as well?" Kirk asked the other delegate.

"Yes."

"I see." Kirk thought about it for a moment. "Neither on of compounds is useful without the other, they have to be combined to be worth anything. They also have very different mining techniques, two bases would have to be set up. I think you two are just going to have to share the wealth. One will mine Nurillium and the other Rillian, you'll have to trade between yourselves to be able to produce the end product. Agreed?"

The delegates did not answer right away. They were clearly trying to find a way to back out of the simple solution that would bring wealth and jobs to both sides equally. In the end they both nodded. Kirk looked over at Bones and smiled brightly. It was McCoy's turn to roll his eyes, and he did.

"Excellent, gentlemen, so we have an accord?"

"Indeed, Captain."

"Good." Kirk nodded. "If I'm not mistaken this war of yours started not long after you'd have the ability to scan that planetoid, as all this bloodshed really been over Nurillium and Rillian?"

"The origins of the war have been shrouded in time...but it is...possible."

"I'll take that as a 'yes'. You'll find you will both do far better working together, your greatest enemy can often become your best friend." Kirk smiled. "A lesson I learned long ago."

Knowing that a new draft of the peace treaty would need to be written up before anyone could sign anything Kirk decided to head back up to the ship. McCoy came with him and walked with him on their way to the bridge.

"Not bad, Jim, we might actually have a chance of getting out of here in a reasonable amount of time."

"I swear if they argue over who gets to mine which one I'm going to make true on my promise to phaser these two right out space."

"I'm sure there will be some argument, but both are equal in value and both are just as difficult to mine."

"Thank space for small favors."

The pair chuckled and stepped onto the bridge. Kirk instantly noticed Uhura sitting at her post looking near tears. He glanced at Bones who just shook his head sadly. Uhura had been trying her hardest to remain professional, but she had lost the light in her eyes and the musical tone to her voice. Nurse Chapel had come to McCoy on several occasions worried for her friend, but there was nothing the doctor could do for a broken heart.

"Uhura, any response from Natala?"

"None, Sir."

"Alright, I'm going to go contact them personally, and if they won't answer to me they'll answer to Star Fleet. This is unacceptable."

"Thank you, Sir." Uhura replied with a sad smile.

"We all miss him."

She nodded and flashed him a more genuine smile for the support. After signing a few reports that needed his scribble he left the bridge. Down in his quarters he opened up a private subspace line and made the request once more to speak to the Vulcan High Council. The last time the Vulcans had informed him that they were in session and that they would return his transmission at a better time. That had been nearly a week ago.

"Captain Kirk." A deep male voice responded.

"Ambassador Tek'tiel."

"Yes, how may I be of service?"

"I am calling for an update on my First Officer's condition." Kirk made sure to stress Spock's position to let the Ambassador know that meant to involve Star Fleet if he had too. "I was assured that I would be kept in the loop."

"The loop? I am sorry, Captain, I am unfamiliar with any loop."

"A figure of speech. It means that Natala would update us on Spock's condition and allow personal communication with him. It has been over a week since he was taken to Natala and we have yet to hear a single word."

"I apologize, Captain. Part of Spock's recovery involves deep meditation, he can not be disturbed without threatening his life. However, we anticipated this reaction from you, did you not receive the recording sent to you?"

"Recording? No, we have heard nothing from Natala."

"I apologize..."

"You're apologizing a lot, and it isn't making me feel any better."

"I assure you that the best Natala has to offer is working on Spock's full recovery. I will retransmit the message."

"Thank you."

"'Captain,'" Spock's voice said calmly "'I wish to assure you that I am being well treated on Natala, and receiving the best of care. I plan to return to duty as soon as I am capable, however, I may be temporarily unable to contact you. Live long, and prosper'."

Kirk had tapped on the screen to ensure that the sound byte was recorded on his own computer. It had certainly sounded like Spock and he had a hard time imagining anyone, even Vulcans, getting Spock to record a message under duress. However, something about it still didn't seem right.

"Captain?" The Ambassador asked.

"I'm here. Thank you, Ambassador, please keep us up to date on his condition."

"If there is any change in his status you will be immediately notified. Live long and prosper, Captain."

"You as well, Ambassador."

Kirk clicked off the subspace. Sitting back he replayed Spock's message trying to read between any lines. After a dozen times through it he still couldn't put his finger on what felt off about it. He called McCoy down and played the recording a few times.

"It sounds like Spock." Bones shrugged. "What does the computer have to say about it?"

"The computer says it is 99.8 percent sure that it's him."

"You don't think he was forced into it, do you?"

"No." Kirk sighed. "He'd accept death before a lie like this."

"Agreed. It is entirely possible that the Vulcans do know what sickness he is suffering from, and are telling the truth."

"It does seem unlikely to be lied to by a Vulcan, doesn't it?"

"As far as I know it would be a first. They don't lie, Jim. They may not tell you the whole truth of something, and they are champions of changing the subject, but they don't outright lie."

"Or if they do they are so good at it that we've never caught them at it."

Bones gave Kirk a doubtful look. Before he could argue further the whistle for the door sang out.

"Come in."

Uhura stepped into the room.

"Uhura..."

"It wasn't him, Sir." Uhura said quickly.

"What?"

"The recording, it wasn't Spock."

"Listening to my private conversations?" Kirk teased.

"Yes, Sir."

"I don't blame you, I was kind of hoping you were listening, but of course I couldn't give an order like that." Kirk nodded. "What makes you so certain it wasn't Spock?"

"Beyond the fact that he is my husband, I am a trained linguist. The cadence was off, it is a subtle difference that our on board computer wouldn't pick up on since it simply looks for voice print."

"What's the difference in the cadence?" Bones asked. "I can't hear it."

"It is subtle. Spock breaths faster than a human, but slower than a Vulcan, this affects his speech rhythm. Captain, I assure you, that voice was computer generated without adjusting the breathing rate parameter."

"Can you prove that?"

"No." Uhura admitted sadly. "I think it is something that only I can hear. Although even the computer was only 99.8 percent sure."

"I will take it under advisement. Thank you, Uhura."

"Thank you, Sir."

Uhura glanced at McCoy, trying to see if he believed her. He smiled at her and she took heart in it. Turning around she left the two men to discuss their options. Kirk played the recording one last time, trying to hear whatever it was that Uhura could hear. However, no matter how many times he played it the recording sounded just like his friend to him. Kirk switched off the recorder and looked up at McCoy.

"Well, Bones, what do you think?"

"Personally, I think Spock's in trouble."

"Same here."

"The question is: what are we going to do about it?"

"I don't know...but we're certainly not just going to sit here."


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

Retching violently Spock spat bright yellow bile into the sink. When he felt he had control over his stomach once again he turned the water on to cold. After washing his face he buried it in a towel. Taking a deep breath Spock concentrated on stopping the trembling in his hands, but nothing could be done for it.

"It is still a reasonable trade." Spock muttered to himself.

The Vulandin drug gave him the reins on his emotions once again. The price he was paying for mental control was a disabling physical sickness. Exhausted from the mostly unproductive heaving Spock walked back over to the bed and sat down. He stared at the far wall and contemplated his options.

There was no point in further demanding to be returned to the Enterprise. Although time was difficult to determine between the sunless room and the frequent black outs Spock assumed that at least a week had passed by. He had made it clear that he no wish treatment every time the Vulcans approached him, and every time his requests fell on deaf pointed ears.

Spock got to his feet and began a pointless pacing. He no longer suffered from the extreme excess of energy that he once did, but the activity still helped him from surrendering to frustration. As he walked in an endless circle around the confines of his room Spock lost focus on what he had been thinking about. Automatically taking each step he mindlessly completed the circle over and over again. The previous day he had similar problem with rocking back and forth. He was never aware that he was doing it, but at time hours would pass with him stuck in some repetitive motion.

"Spock."

Unaware that his name had been called Spock continued to circle. The doctor had appeared on the far side of the field with two assistants. He called Spock several more times before giving up. Shutting the field down the assistants were sent in to manually stop Spock from continuing his journey to nowhere.

Once touched Spock snapped out of the trance he had been in. No longer prone to violence Spock simply took a step away from the men to let them know that he was not interested in their physical contact. The doctor stepped up fearlessly and flashed a small light across Spock eyes. Although not as sensitive to light as he was when he first arrived it was still irritating.

"Why do you insist on doing that?" Spock asked.

"Light sensitivity is an indicator of the Sickness's progression, as well as the condition of fine capillaries. In time the white of your eyes will turn green." The doctor replied. "Spock, you must be mindful not to fall into these stereotype pattern movements, tardive dyskinesia will follow if you are not careful."

"Another side effect of the Vulandin I assume."

"Yes, it can be controlled if you are strong enough."

"I grow weaker everyday, you know this."

"I do." The doctor said without remorse.

"It is not logical for Vulcans to treat their own, or any intelligent species, the way you are treating myself and the other afflicted."

"On the contrary, Spock, we are acting quite logically. The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few or the one."

"I agree with that statement when the term 'need' is used, however, in this case you are stating that the needs of the many outweigh the _rights_ of the few...and that I can not abide by."

"You do not wish to save your species?"

"Quite the opposite, I desire very much to save the Vulcan species. However, I wish to do so with the assistance of Star Fleet and their vast knowledge of medicine, science, and technology. Here, locked underground, I am nothing more than a silent martyr. I am not helping anyone, and you are certainly not helping me."

"We are doing everything we can."

"That is a lie, Doctor."

The doctor pulled his shoulders back slightly at the grave insult. He gave silent orders to his assistants and turned away to leave. Spock did not need the guards to place their hands on him to know that they wanted him to follow the doctor. Going of his own free will Spock walked down the hall a few steps behind the doctor with the two assistance on either side. As they made their way down to medical Spock turned to the young Vulcan on his right.

"Tell me, Brother, how much longer do you have until you are the one being lead down this hall guarded by two others?"

"Seven months, three weeks, and five days."

"You accept this fate?"

"There is nothing to 'accept', it is simply a fact."

"Fascinating." Spock said more to himself than the Vulcan.

Spock did not endeavor to continue the conversation. When they arrived at medical there was a young female scientist already there. Spock had seen her on several occasions, but he did not know her name. She didn't speak very often, but she had an air of confidence around her. However, today seemed different. She didn't appear outwardly nervous, but Spock did notice that she looked at him first rather than the doctor as she usually did.

"Doctor," she said coldly "this is not a logical course of actions. I must make my protest known."

"You have already made that quite clear." The doctor returned. "Your opinion has been recorded, and noted. It does not, however, change anything."

"Doc..."

"If you can not perform the tasks for which you are assigned," The doctor interrupted "you will be replaced."

The scientist stared at Spock for a moment with an unreadable expression on her delicate features. After a moment she cast her eyes down towards the floor and simply nodded. Satisfied that the scientist had been put in her place the doctor turned to Spock.

"Lay down on the table."

"Do I have a choice?"

"No."

Thinking about this for a moment Spock also nodded and followed orders. Spock noticed instantly that the usual metal table had been replaced by one made of a plastic type material. The exam was routine and a pattern that he had become used to over the past week. They took vital signs, scans, blood samples, and other information they could do nothing useful with.

It wasn't until they deviated from the usual procedure that Spock became concerned. The last event of these encounters was usually a dose of the nausea inducing Vulandin. However, instead Spock found himself being ion restrained at wrists, ankles, and across the chest. Unafraid Spock offered no fight. He furrowed his slanted brow in confusion when he felt a cold wet contact at each temple.

"What is happen..."

Spock did not get a chance to finish as a powerful electrical current gripped him and induced a grand mal seizure. Although instantly knocked unconscious his every muscle snapped tight across his frame. With out the ion restraints his back would have been broken in the process. As it was the only damage done was a trail of blood that seeped from the corner of his mouth from where he had bitten his tongue.

The seizure was over quickly and once again the doctor launched into a series of readings and tests. After drawing more blood from their senseless patient the doctor announced that he was finished. The female scientist shook her head sadly as one of the assistants pulled Spock's limp body off the table.

Hours later Spock fluttered his eyes open and stared up at the silver vein running across the ceiling of his cell. It took him a moment to get his body to respond to his demands to move. He swallowed against the distasteful tang of blood. Sitting up he fought off a strong attack of vertigo. He reached up and gingerly touched at one of bright green spots that painfully marred his temples from the electric shock.

Before the dizziness subsided another familiar symptom returned. At first it was just a soft chattering noise, but it soon became an unbearable din of voices. Spock pressed his palms against his ears, but it did nothing to block out the chaotic sound.

"Be quiet!" Spock roared as he jumped to his feet. "I don't understand you! Leave me alone!"

Desperate to escape the clamoring sounds Spock backed himself up into the far corner. The unintelligible voices continued to tear at him mercilessly. It suddenly became crystal clear to him how a Vulcan could be driven to suicide to escape the constant barrage. Feeling himself losing hold on his emotions tears slipped down Spock's face.

With his hands still firmly over his ears he slid down the wall until he was sitting on the floor. Filled with a soul crushing despair he began to cry in earnest. He screamed silently at himself not to allow the rip tide of emotion to drag him out to sea to be drown, but he was helpless against it.

Brushing the tears away Spock caught a glimpse of the silver insignia that sat proudly on the lapel of his open rode. Tearing the badge off Spock reached up and dragged on edge of it down the stone wall. The silver screeched against the stone and when he was done one edge of the insignia was razor sharp. Taking the newly made weapon Spock pressed it against his wrist hard enough to cause a thin line of bright green to stain it.

"Spock...that is not the answer."

Spock jolted at the sound of a voice that could be understood. He looked around, part of him not expecting to find anyone. However, standing just a few feet away was the female scientist that had tried to prevent the electroshock treatment. She stared down on him calmly, making no move to remove the badge from him. Spock took a deep breath and suddenly suicide was the last thing on his mind.

"Leave," Spock growled "you are not safe, your scent is driving me mad."

"You will not hurt me. Spock, allow me to approach, I wish to help you."

"Stay any longer, and you may find yourself a victim of rape."

"We would both be victims," she said seriously "but that will not happen."

"Please..."

"Close your eyes, trust me."

With every breath the female's scent was driving Spock closer to an unforgivable violence. He suddenly became fearful that this was how they intended to ensure their breeding program went forward as planned. Infuriated Spock jumped to his feet and lashed out at her. The female Vulcan was quicker and stronger than he anticipated. She grabbed his wrist and jerked him closer, as she did so she raised her other hand and sunk a hypo into his chest.

Spock reared back at the ice that lanced through his lungs from the injection. The female released him and stood still while she waited for the drug to have its effect. With every breath Spock regained more of his composure, and the voices slowly became silent. His stomach twisted painful, but he had not eaten anything lately so there was nothing to make him truly sick. Taking a deep breath he stood up straight and gave his visitor a nod of respect.

"Thank you. I am sorry for attempting to strike you."

"I understand. The Vulandin will prevent it from happening again."

"Thank you. Is that why you are here?"

"It is one reason." She nodded.

"The other?"

A slight look of concern passed over her face. She looked over her shoulder to ensure that they were alone. According to the way the lights were dimmed Spock assumed it to be late at night. The woman stepped closer and dropped her voice to a level so low that a human would not have been able to hear her.

"Spock, I do not believe that you are being treated ethically."

"I am being treated differently than any of the other afflicted?"

"For months they have been speculating on the effects of an induced seizure, that it may have curative properties, however, they have never dared risk such a procedure until your arrival. I do not believe that your life is as important to them as the others."

"That is logical. I am after all only half Vulcan."

"I too am half Vulcan, but my blood is still prized here."

"Half Vulcan?" Spock asked with surprise.

"My father was Romulan, my mother was unfortunate enough to cross paths with one who was determined to have her."

"I am sorry, I hope your dual nature had not caused you as much trouble as it has caused me."

"I do not believe it has, Romulans are more simmilar to Vulcans than humans. Still, regardless of your heritage the treatment you are receiving is unacceptable."

"Thank you for your concern. Now, please I wish to be left alone."

Spock walked back over to the bed and sat down. He expected the woman to leave, and at first she looked like she was going to. Indecision was not a trait he often observed in Vulcans or Romulans and it made him wonder if males were the only ones being affected by the Sickness. Eventually she made up her mind and stood in front of him.

"I wish to show you something." She announced. "I put my status on Natala at risk, possibly even exile, by doing so. However, I believe it to be important, and I believe that you can be trusted to do the right thing."

"You would take such a risk on me? I do not even know your name."

"Saavik, my name is Saavik."

"Very well, Saavik, what do you feel you must show me?"

"Come." Saavik turned and lowed the field with a device on her belt.

"You do not fear that I will simply run away?"

"No. That is not your nature."

"You know my nature?"

"I studied you, your time at the Academy. It was my wish to attend as well, however, with the destruction of Vulcan I felt my place was here."

"Logical."

"Thank you."

Saavik lead the way down the hallway. Every time they would come to an intersection she would proceed with caution, having Spock stay back in case someone else was wandering the complex. They entered an elevator and took it down for a long ride as they went deeper into the planet. At the bottom of the elevator ride they came to a short hall with a single door at the end.

Using a complicated code Saavik unlocked the door. When it slid open there was a rush of cold air. Beyond the door lay a vast cavern dimly lit by an eerie glow. The glow illuminated thousand of large glass tubes that were coated in a thin layer of white ice. Saavik brought Spock up to one of the containers. At its base was a host of electronics and controls.

"What is this?" Spock asked.

"The High Council's final solution."

Saavik reached out and rubbed some of the frost off the glass. Inside was a young male Vulcan floating in a thick green liquid. Tubes down his throat kept him breathing and various wires kept his vital organs functioning and relayed information to the computer. Saavik turned away when the Vulcan they were looking at jerked in his artificial sleep. His eyes opened, but they were rolled back to white.

"They can not be persevered forever," Saavik said sadly "seven months is as long as any of them have survived."

"How many are here?"

"Two hundred twenty-one."

"Why so few? I was told thousands have fallen ill."

"It was only recently that it was decided that this extreme measure was needed. Genetic material is also being collected and stored for use by future generations."

"There is a limit to how long a species can be maintained artificially."

"True. In four more years every Vulcan male in his prime will have be affected. As of right now every male born is destined to die young."

"However, this may give Vulcan the time it needs to solve the crisis."

"That is the hope."

"And yet you do not sound hopefully." Spock noted.

"The majority of the great Vulcan minds perished when our home world did. We do not have the resources, talent, nor time to solve this mystery on our own. We need Star Fleet...we need you."

"I can not help you from the confines of a cell."

"I agree." Saavik nodded. "You must be allowed to return to the Enterprise."

"You will speak on my behalf then?"

"I have already been down that path with no results. It is time for...more drastic measures."

"You understand that what you are suggesting is treason?" Spock asked softly.

"I do. The risk for me is not a logical one, for the chance of success is so small that it can not be calculated."

"And yet you are ready to take such a risk?"

"Yes."

"You are a credit to your Romulan blood." Spock said seriously.

"Thank you. Spock, if I tell your friends where you are...will they rescue you?"

"Yes."

"You reply without hesitation."

"That is because there is no reason to hesitate. They will come."

"Then I will inform them."


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

After talking to the Captain Uhura walked through the halls of the Enterprise, wandering without purpose. She knew that she should find something to eat, she couldn't remember the last time she ate anything. However, she didn't have any appetite. With her shift over she had no where to go and nothing to do. Uhura dropped by Christine's quarters, but she wasn't there, she was most likely in medical bay working.

Continuing her aimless journey Uhura came to one of the large glass windows that offered a look out into space. They were still in orbit around Kale while the details of the peace treaty were hammered out. She stared out at the stars in the inky black backdrop and wondered which one held Natala in its gravitational grip.

The more she replayed the message from Natala in her mind the more she became convinced that the voice she had heard was not Spock's. Her main concern was that there was nothing the Captain nor Star Fleet could do about it. Vulcan had merely tolerated Star Fleet in the past, now that their very species was at risk they were even less likely to allow any kind of interference.

"They made it clear that they wanted him back, and they get what they want." Uhura sighed to herself.

Not feeling very well all of a sudden Uhura turned away from the window that was showing her just how vast the galaxy truly was. Coming back to the quarters that she shared with Spock she reached out and traced her fingertips along a piece of Vulcan metalwork art that hung on the wall. With the destruction of Vulcan the art work had become nearly priceless in value simply because it was one of a very limited number of works created by Vulcan hands.

Wandering into the bed room Uhura laid down on her side and stared at the vacant side of the bed. Anubis jumped up on the bed with her and rubbed against her with his tail held high. A slight smile flickered across her face as she reached out and pet the amorous feline. Anubis fell over and rolled onto his back purring so that she could rub his soft belly fur. Anubis playfully curled his body around Uhura's hand and started to gently chew on it.

"I love you too, fur ball." Uhura chuckled.

Anubis was unmoved by Uhura's words and started rabbit punching her with his back legs like the predator he was. Uhura retrieved her hand and Anubis instantly curled up next to her and fell asleep purring loudly. Exhausted herself Uhura drifted off to sleep and into unsettling dreams about her husband's unknown fate.

Several hours later Uhura jerked awake. She startled Anubis and he scrambled off the bed. Feeling suddenly ill Uhura got up and raced to the bathroom. She barely made it to her knees in front of the toilet before being violently sick. Forcing herself back to her feet she washed her face off with cold water.

Although her stomach felt better after being sick she felt extremely dizzy. Stumbling back out into the bedroom she laid down. Anubis crawled back up on the bed and watched her anxiously with his head tilted to one side. Uhura reached out to pet him once more and found her hand shaking like a leaf in the wind.

"Meow?" Anubis seemed concerned.

"I know...that's the third time this week." Uhura admitted.

"Meow?"

"No, I don't know what's wrong."

Anubis clearly didn't understand why his owners insisted on chattering at him. He responded by rubbing his long body against her once more. Uhura closed her eyes and quickly broke into tears. She didn't know why she had chosen this moment to start crying, but she couldn't stop. Anubis paced back and forth on the bed and yowled in sympathy.

Once she regained control of herself Uhura sat up. She returned to the bathroom and rinsed her face in the cold water once more. The dizziness returned with a vengeance and for a moment she feared that she was going to black out. Uhura gripped the edge of the sink to steady herself.

Now truly alarmed Uhura decided that she needed to seek out some help. Doing her best to hide the fact that she had been crying she stepped back out into the hallway. Indecisive about where to go she headed to Chapel's room once more in hopes that her friend was off duty by now. She passed her hand over the sensor that would alert Chapel of her arrival. The nurse opened the door herself and looked at Uhura critically.

"Nyota, are you feeling okay?"

"No." Uhura admitted.

"Let's get you down to medical, Dr. McCoy is with the Captain, but I'm sure he'll co..."

"No, Christine, please, can you just check me over yourself?"

"I shouldn't..."

"Please."

"Alright." Chapel agreed with a sympathetic smile.

"Thank you."

Chapel smiled and instinctively took Uhura's arm gently just above the elbow to guide her down to medical. They went into one of the small private rooms and Uhura got up on one of the soft tables and laid down. The nurse flicked on a few monitors, however she found that she didn't need to run any tests. The normal dull beeping of the monitor was accompanied by another thumping that was so fast paced that it sounded more like a low hum.

"What is that?" Uhura asked anxiously. "What's the sound?"

"A heart beat."

"Mine?"

"No..." Chapel paused "Nyota, you're pregnant."

"What?!" Uhura sat bolt upright. "No...I can't...I'm on Zerdex."

"Which has a .5% fail rate."

"That's a pretty small fail rate!"

"But it's not zero. Trust me, you are pregnant, Dr. McCoy can confirm it..."

"No, no, I trust you."

Uhura found herself numb at the news at first. When tears traced down her face Chapel stepped closer and enveloped her in a comforting embrace. Uhura buried her face in Chapel's shirt and whimper quietly. Shaking from the news she felt sick again.

"It's okay, it's going to be alright."

"Christine...I can't do this alone."

"You're not alone, Nyota." Chapel said softly.

"I'm not ready." Uhura said in distress. "Spock...I...don't even know if still he's alive. Even if he is, what if the Vulcans never let him go?"

"Trust me, the Captain would never allow it."

Feeling comforted Uhura nodded. Chapel offered Uhura a small cloth to dry her eyes with. Uhura accepted it with a forced smile. After rubbing away the tears she suddenly looked angry at herself.

"Christine, what's happened to me? I used to be so strong...now I find myself crying constantly. I can barely think when I'm on duty and it only gets worse when I'm not. I feel like I'm losing my mind."

"That's because you're married to a Vulcan."

"You've been working with Dr. McCoy too much." Uhura smiled slightly.

"No, it's not like that." Chapel smiled and shook her head. "Didn't Mr. Spock tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"Vulcan's don't take husbands and wives, they take mates. It's a deep psychological bond, and some would argue that it's physical as well. Being separated from him forcibly is probably causing a strain on that bond that as a human you don't even know is there. Vulcans keep their emotions in such strict control because they run so deep that they can easily overpower both them, and those around them. They are telepaths after all."

"I thought they had to be touching you to be telepathic."

"No, not always. If they are not careful they can both absorb and reflect emotions."

"How do you know so much about Vulcans?"

"It's not easy to learn about them, but when Mr. Spock was assigned as First Officer I felt that someone in sick bay better know something about Vulcans. To learn about their anatomy isn't enough to help one, you have to know at least a bit about how they work psychologically."

"Have you ever heard of 'pon farr'?"

"No. What is it?"

"It's what started all of this." Uhura sighed.

Uhura looked over her shoulder at the health monitor. The large red dot that indicated her own heart beat was currently joined by a smaller one next to it that was beating so fast that it was flickering. It worried her for a moment that the tiny heart would be racing so fast, but then she realized that the heart was at least partly that of a Vulcan.

"Should I tell the Captain?"

"Yes." Chapel replied instantly.

Uhura wasn't so sure, but she nodded. When she got up Chapel went to join her, however, Uhura shook her head. She felt this was something better done alone. They exchanged another friendly hug. Once out in the hallway Uhura rubbed her stomach lovingly.

"I'm sorry about how I reacted, it's just you were a bit of a shock." Uhura spoke directly to the unborn that she carried. "I love you, and Christine is right, the Captain will get your father back...no matter what it takes."

The child was far too young to offer any response in the form of a kick or anything of the like, but Uhura felt better anyway. Taking a deep breath Uhura made her way to Kirk's quarters. When she got there she could hear him arguing with McCoy. Although she knew she shouldn't she listened in for a moment.

"Jim, I want Spock back too, but Star Fleet is never going to believe that he's being held by the Vulcans against his will...it goes against everything that the Vulcans are."

"It goes against what they were." Kirk countered. "The Vulcans are facing total annihilation, some sort of disease is sweeping through their ranks, and for all we know every single Vulcan in the galaxy is going out of his or her mind in some capacity."

"If you ask me all Vulcans have always been deranged." Bones noted sourly. "If they are really in the mists of an epidemic, why aren't they asking for help?"

"Spock waited until he attacked his own wife before admitting that he was sick, and even then he opted to starve himself to death rather than ask for help."

"Now is not the time for pride."

"I think the High Council would let the last Vulcan in the Universe die in agony before admitting that they had a problem that couldn't be solved by their logic."

"I wish I could disagree, but I can't." Bones sighed. "That still doesn't leave us with any good way of getting Spock back."

"I know." Kirk sighed. "I can't decide if it would be best to go to Star Fleet about this, or fake a medical emergency and just slink off and try and go get him myself."

"Slinking off is probably the only option, Star Fleet is touchy when it comes to the Vulcans, they always have been. I can't imagine you accusing the High Council of lying and kidnapping going over very well with any one."

"Good point." Kirk paused. "What do you think, Uhura?"

Uhura jolted in surprise to hear the Captain address her directly through the closed door. The door slid open and Kirk smiled brightly at her. When she didn't come in he motioned her to step inside. When the door closed behind her she looked over her shoulder and realized his door had a setting on it that allowed the viewer to look out, but no one to look in.

"I have to keep an eye on my ship." Kirk chuckled.

"Of course." Uhura shook her head sadly.

"Are you feeling alright?" McCoy asked as he looked Uhura over.

"I'm fine, Doctor." Uhura smiled.

"As you heard, we're trying to think of a way to help Spock. Neither one of us think that recording was him either."

"It wasn't, I'm sure of it." Uhura said firmly.

"Then it's settled. I just don't know what to do about it."

"Captain...James, we have to get him back." Uhura hesitated for a moment. "Spock....he's going to be a father."

Kirk and Bones both jolted slightly in surprise. Uhura was nervous until she saw the bright smile that spread across Kirk's face. He reached out and gave her a warm hug before releasing her again.

"That's wonderful." Kirk beamed. "Don't worry, I won't let the little one grow up without a father."

"Thank you." Uhura returned the hug she had received.

"Jim, this might give us some leverage against the Vulcans." Bones pointed out. "How could they possibly deny a request from a mother to be to speak directly to the father?"

"I'm sure they'll find a logical way, but it's worth a shot."

Kirk turned around and went to tap on his desk top to bring the computer inside to life. Before he could touch the dark surface it sprung to life with a request from the bridge. Kirk furrowed his brow and responded.

"Kirk here."

"Keeptin?" Chekhov asked.

"That would be me. What's going on?"

"Incoming subspace communication from Natala."

"How do they do that?" Kirk demanded. "Patch it through."

"Captain James Tiberius Kirk." A strangely metallic voice announced.

"Uh...yes? Who is this?"

"A prerecorded message is downloading into your ship's computer."

"You can't just down..." Kirk stopped as the computer began to download the recording.

"Spock would know all the codes needed to access the data-recorder directly." Uhura pointed out."

"The message is encrypted." The generated voice continued. "Lieutenant Nyota Uhura knows the password, it is fuzzy illogic."

The tinging voice cut out, but the computer sprung to life with a dialogue box that was demanding a password.

"Fuzzy illogic?" Bones repeated. "Isn't it supposed to be 'fuzzy logic'?"

"Not in this case." Uhura smiled. "The password is 'Anubis'."

"Password correct." The computer chimed.

Instead of a simple voice message a video started up on the luminescent screen. A beautiful young Vulcan female stared at them expressionlessly for a moment. Before speaking she reached out and seemingly touched the screen from the inside. As she dragged her finger across the glass the computer started creating folders with complicated diagrams inside. When she was done she addressed the room once again.

"Captain James Tiberius Kirk of the USS Enterprise, I am Saavik. I am requesting help on behalf of First Office Spock also of the USS Enterprise. Commander Spock is being held against his will under the capital city of Natala under orders from the Vulcan High Council.

He is gravely ill, however, his emotional condition is currently being managed artificially with the drug Vulandin. This solution will not last, and without a true cure his death will occur in approximately two months. This is a service that the Vulcans can not provide him, for no solution yet exists.

I have provided you with a full schematic of the facility, important access codes, the most likely location of Commander Spock, as well as the formula you will need to manufacture the Vulandin he will need.

Nyota Uhura, in the case that a rescue can not be attempted or fails Commander Spock wishes you to know that he loves you deeply.

Captain Kirk, I hope the information I have provided you with will be sufficient...beyond this I can do no more."

With this last part of the message Saavik glanced to the side and for a fraction of a second a look of fear marred her delicate features. However, before it could be discovered what she had distracted her the video went to black.

"I think it's fairly safe to say she's done more than enough already." Kirk said seriously.

"This Saavik can't be full Vulcan." Bones noted.

"What makes you say that?"

"She's got an ounce of sense in her head."


	18. Chapter 18

Note from the Phoenix: If you feel a bit of a spark between Spock and Saavik...well, it's only logical. Giggle. I'm a Spock/Saavik fan, but don't worry, both half-Vulcans are only doing what they feel is right for their 'kind' and I'm not going to complicate things with any sort of love triangle since Spock is far too loyal for such things and he is afterall already married.

Chapter Eighteen

Spock sat on the edge of the bed hunched over with his elbows resting on his knees. He passively watched the blood drip from his face down onto his folded hands, from there it splattered onto the floor. Unchecked the nose bleed continued to slip a slow moving green river over his lips on its journey to the floor.

It wasn't the bloody stain on his hands that held his gaze, it was the plain band ring he wore. Much like the insignia it hadn't been worth fighting him for so he had been allowed to keep it. However, with his wife so far away the once gold metal had faded to a dull and cold steel. He tried to remember Uhura's touch, but it just brought a sharper pain to his heart. Eventually enough blood fell onto his hands to cover the ring.

Spock closed his eyes, but it didn't help block out the voices that had returned. He knew now that the chaotic screaming and shouts were nothing more than auditory hallucinations, artifacts of the mysterious sickness that was determined to take his life. The Vulandin usually kept the voices in the background, but they had not come to him yesterday for medical treatment.

With the drug washing out of his system the emotional surges began to return as well. Right now it was a deep apathy that was assaulting his senses and kept him from even caring that he was continuing to bleed. Spock opened his eyes as he heard noises other than the ones in his head, but he didn't turn to look at his visitors.

"Doctor, please," Saavik's voice broke through the random shouting in Spock's mind "you can not deprive him of the Vulandin like this. Look at him...he is dying."

"He is is dying with or without it. Vulandin is clearly not the answer, we must try something else. Vulcine..."

"Vulcine is not ready for testing." Saavik interrupted.

"You have so little faith in your own drug?"

"I am still working on it, I need more time."

"Time is something we are running out of."

"I know." Saavik admitted. "However, Spock is not the logical choice for Vulcine trial, his human blood will tamper with the results."

"Saavik, this decision does not involve you. A subject must be chosen and it is perfectly logic to risk the one who has the least desirable genetics."

"Doc..."

"You are becoming somewhat emotional yourself, half-Romulan, and I am beginning to distrust you. If your scientific knowledge was not in such dire need here I would have you removed."

"My scientific knowledge is not enough, all the minds left to Vulcan can not solve this." Saavik insisted. "It is time to ask the Federation for help."

"That decision will be made by the High Council."

"They have already waited too long."

"Saavik, are you going to assist us in this trial or not?"

"Yes." Saavik sighed in defeat.

"Then follow orders."

"Yes, Doctor."

Spock had listened to them discuss his fate without interest. It wasn't until they entered the room that he looked up at them. The guards didn't care about the blood and reached down and hauled him to his feet. As they traveled down the hall Spock found himself growing tense. By the time they arrived at the lab he was devoting most of his concentration to keeping himself from lashing out at the nearest living thing.

Saavik stepped up with a cold wet cloth for Spock to remove the blood from his hands and face. When she handed it to him their hands brushed against one another and she instantly felt the powerful emotion transfer into her fingertips. He pulled away quickly and rubbed the green from his skin.

"You should restrain me quickly," Spock announced "I am losing myself to anger once more, and I do not wish for anyone to be harmed."

"The Vulcine is less toxic than the Vulandin," Saavik assured him "however I do not know if it will have the desired affect."

"I am more than willing to accept the trial if you believe you will learn something from it."

"It would be impossible to learn nothing from it."

"Then proceed."

Saavik nodded, although it was the doctor who took over the test. Spock laid down on the table and once again was restrained as they had for the electroshock therapy. He had been assured that they were not going to try that again since it had magnified his symptoms rather than mitigated them. As they went through the routine checks and blood tests Spock started panting for breath against his escalating rage.

"Saavik, what is the dose requirement on Vulcine?"

".045 cc per kilogram if my calculations are correct."

"And if they are not?" Spock snarled. "I am sorry..."

"I understand." Saavik said softly. "Are you hearing the voices?"

"Yes," Spock growled through clenched teeth "however, I can not understand them."

"No Vulcan ever does." The doctor said. "They are simply a hallucination caused by the increased dopamine levels, they are not real."

"Vulcine binds with dopamine." Saavik explained.

"I do not care how it works!" Spock snapped as his emotions took control once more. "Just end this! I am sorry...forgive me..."

With the last of the Vulandin washed from his system Spock's emotions seized a hold of his senses once more. He strained against the restraints, something he often broke in the sick bay on the Enterprise. The Vulcans were far more prepared to deal with his strength, and he had no chance of freeing himself. Saavik reached out to touch the side of his face to calm him but he jerked away as best he could and barred his teeth at her like a wild animal.

"Fascinating how quickly his symptoms returned with only twenty four hours off the Vulandin." The doctor noted.

"It is a logical reaction." Saavik said. "The Vulandin only suppressed the symptoms, it does nothing to cure the underlying cause. The Vulcine will work the same way, it is not a cure, it is just hopefully a better way to manage the symptoms."

Increasingly frustrated with his situation Spock roared in murderous fury. Saavik handed the doctor a small glass vile with a bright purple fluid in it. He clicked the vile into a hypogun and pressed the muzzle against Spock's throat. After the injection the heart monitor instantly dropped its dangerously high rhythm.

Relaxing almost to the point of passing out Spock's only struggle now was to keep his eyes open. The change had happened as quickly as someone turning out a light. Saavik reached out once again. This time Spock not only allowed the touch, but a slight smile touched his lips. However it wasn't long before a look of concern flashed across his stoic face.

"Spock?" Saavik asked.

Spock didn't respond to his name. He knit his slanted eyebrows together and turned his head slightly to listen to something that no one else could hear. Saavik watched as the calm that the Vulcine had put him into slowly melted away. Spock began panting for breath, however it was panic that was pushing his system this time. He gasped sharply as a look of horror widened his dark eyes. Saavik couldn't look away from the pained expression on his face, but she could hear the heart monitor as it wailed faster than ever before. Welding his eyes shut Spock threw his head back and arched his back against the restraints.

"Mother?!" Spock cried. "Mother!"

"Spo..."

Saavik stopped suddenly, she had put her hand down on his chest to calm him and it had sent a sharp lance of pain and loss through her. Breathless herself she yanked her hand away and took a step back. Spock wailed and thrashed for freedom. The vital sign monitors began chirping warnings as Spock's system began to fail under the strain.

"Let me go!" Spock begged. "I have to try!"

"This is not working, the emotion will kill him before the drug gets a chance to." The doctor noted calmly. "Sedate him, resume with 7 cc of the Vulandin."

"Yes, Doctor." One of the assistants went into action.

Spock continued his heartfelt cries even as the sedation took effect. It wasn't until the Vulandin was coursing through his veins that he gave in to sleep. When his head lolled to the side a thin stream of emerald blood seeped from the corner of his mouth. The doctor reached out and touched the blood with his fingertips as if to prove to himself that it was real. He turned his attention to Saavik.

"Your formula needs more work Saavik."

Saavik just nodded vacantly. She followed the two assistants as they dragged Spock back to his bed. They laid him down and left without a word. Saavik backed herself up against the wall opposite of the bed. Folding her arms over her chest she waited for him to return to his senses.

It only took Spock about fifteen minutes to revive from the light sedation. He took a deep breath before opening his eyes. Panic didn't cloud his eyes, however, he did scramble to his feet and rush into the adjoining wash room. Saavik listened to Spock being violently ill without disturbing his privacy.

A few minutes later she heard the water running. Spock returned to the bed and sat down on the edge with his back perfectly straight. He noted Saavik, but did not greet her right away. He took a moment to compose himself before turning his attention on his visitor.

"I am afraid that your Vulcine has the same nauseating side effects as the Vulandin."

"You do not remember any of what happened, do you?"

"I recall being violently angry. Now I am here and once again in control."

"The Vulcine failed." Saavik admitted. "You are once again under the influence of the Vulandin."

"What did you learn?"

"I learned that the Vulcine appears to trigger an episode of extreme trauma. You appeared locked in a tragic memory."

Spock thought about this for a moment. His eyes lost a touch of their focus for while. Saavik waited for him to speak again. Eventually Spock looked up at Saavik, his expression passive and cold.

"I mentioned my mother, didn't I?"

"Yes."

"I never treated her as I should." Spock said softly. "I treated her as though she was Vulcan. I was not fair to her."

"I am sure she understood."

"She did, that does not make my actions right."

Spock fell silent once again, but he did not turn his attention inward on himself this time. Saavik glanced out into the hallway and found it deserted. Pushing herself away from the wall she stepped up in front of Spock and knelt down. She once again dropped her voice below that of human hearing, nearly below that of even Vulcan ears.

"I have sent a message to your friends. I have given them all they need to free you."

"Thank you, they will be here soon." Spock gave her a nod of respect. "You have risked much for me."

"I risk this for all of Vulcan kind."

"When I am rescued, what will become of you?"

"I do not understand."

"I think that you do." Spock accused gently. "This is treason, they will know it was you."

"I am ready to accept the consequences of my actions. It is for the greater good." Saavik replied sincerely. "They still need my mind, and I am practically imprisoned her already."

"'Practically a prisoner' is not the same. You will spend the rest of your many days as a prisoner. Even if a cure is found by your hand they will never forgive you for the insult of this."

"I know."

"I will not trade your freedom for my own."

"It is too late for that, it is done."

"Return with us to the Enterprise." Spock offered.

"What of my work here?"

"I believe your work here is done..."


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

"Jim?"

"Yeah, Bones?"

"You've had a lot of bad ideas in the past...this is by far the worst."

"Hey, you didn't have to come along. Participation in this rescue was not an order."

"We are so going to get our asses kicked out of Star Fleet for this."

"Assuming the Vulcans don't kick them first." Kirk chuckled.

"I'd kill us if I was them."

"Well luckily you're not Vulcan."

"Thank Space for small favors."

"Not that you don't look good in pointed ears." Kirk teased.

"Not...another...word."

McCoy reached up and scratched self consciously at the false points he wore on his ears. The worst had been removing half their eyebrows in order to be able to cosmetically slant them up ward. The black wigs completed the transformation somewhat. There was no way they'd fool anyone who took any kind of close look at them, but that wasn't the point, the point was to not be instantly noticed on Natala.

They had both taken personal leave from the Enterprise and jumped ship before giving Star Fleet any time to ask questions about it. If they were caught uninvited on Natala, even just wandering the streets, Star Fleet would not be able to help them in the diplomatic shit storm that would follow. If caught deep in the heart of the Vulcan secret they simply might never be heard from again.

"Jim all these buildings look the same."

"I know, but the one we are looking for should be up ahead."

"Why is the new Vulcan city so large?" Bones mused. "There aren't even enough of them to keep the lights on in this part of the city."

"I don't know, it does seem odd. Let's take a quick look."

It was well past midnight on Natala and despite traveling nearly to the center of the city they hadn't seen any signs of life. Even the tricorder informed them that they were alone for nearly a quarter mile in every direction. Kirk slunk through the shadows up to one of the doorways. The door was locked, but he tried the code that Saavik had given him. Even though this was not the building they were looking for the door slid open.

"It's empty." Bones noted as he looked inside.

"The build is just a facade."

"But why?"

"I don't know, let's try another one."

The next three large buildings were all the same. They all responded to the same lock code, and held nothing inside. The structures weren't even built to be functional, there were no levels inside, just a large open space from floor to the ceilings several hundred feet above. None had windows that could be seen into from ground level, so from outside the illusion was perfect.

"This is just creepy. Why would Vulcans surround themselves with buildings that hold no purpose?"

"They wouldn't." Kirk said. "It isn't logical."

"There must be a logical explanation, unless the whole species really has gone mad."

"You know...the Vulcans requested a large amount of funds from the Federation to rebuild a year or so after the destruction of Vulcan. There used to be a more appropriate sized city here."

"Do you suppose they built this to make it look like they were using the money to 'return Vulcan to its former glory' while they were really using it to build this underground lab?"

"It's a thought."

"But that means the Vulcans have known about this problem for years."

"Exactly."

"By Space they are a stubborn species." Bones huffed.

"To the last." Kirk agreed sadly.

"Well let's go get the one we came for and get the hell out of here."

Kirk nodded and stepped away from the empty building. Even though there was no sign of life they stayed to the deep shadows as they made their way through the deserted city. Eventually they came to the structure that they were looking for. Kirk tapped the seemingly universal code into the front door. He peeked inside and noticed that this building actually served a purpose.

"No guards," Bones noted "just like Saavik said."

"The Vulcans have never guarded anything, they've been peaceful and without secrets for so long I don't think it even occurred to them that someone would sneak in here." Kirk said. "The coded doors are probably the highest level of security they've ever used."

"They do tend to mind their own business." Bones agreed. "I mean if only a few Vulcans know what's going on, the others don't seem curious."

"As Spock would say 'curiosity is a human emotion'." Kirk chuckled.

"Works to our advantage. Now what?"

"This is an emergency exit, the elevators will be monitored. So we'll have to take the stairs."

Kirk gestured over to a hole in the middle of the floor surrounded by a metal railing. They walked up to it and looked down into the opening. The softly lit staircase spiraled down down into the depths and disappeared into the distance. It was impossible to tell how far down into the planet's surface it went, but it was dizzying just to look over the edge.

"You have got to be kidding me." Bones complained.

"Looks like our only way down."

"Down might not be so bad, but we'll never make it back up...particularly if we are being chased by Vulcans."

"Hopefully we can use an elevator to get back up since we won't have to worry so much about being detected by then."

"We're all going to die down there."

"You really are just a little ball of sunshine, Bones."

"Hey, I'm a doctor, not a pep talk specialist."

"Clearly. Let's get walking."

The journey down was far more difficult than either one of them had anticipated. The hot air of Natala did not make things any easier. Several times they were forced to sit down and catch their breath. The traditional Vulcan robes they wore proved to be dangerous when stepping down and they had to gather up the hem to keep from tripping and falling a very long way down.

After what felt like hours they came to the bottom of the stair well. The catacomb they found themselves in was laid out in an orderly fashion. According to the plans they had been given there was a central lab area that held hallways that ran off the lab like the spokes of a wheel. They were currently at the end of one of the spokes and needed to get to the other side.

The lights had been dimmed for the artificial night and there were no sounds. As they walked down the hall Kirk noticed darkened force fields that covered the doorways to either side so well that they almost perfectly blended into the stone. Unable to restrain his curiosity he walked up to one and tapped in the code that would make it go clear.

"My God..." Bones breathed in horror.

On the far side of the doorway was a young Vulcan that had striped himself down to the waist. They watched as he chewed into his already heavily abused left forearm to open up another fresh wound. Once the bright green blood was flowing he dipped his fingers in it and continued with the mural he had been working on. The walls of his cell were covered in blood paintings of Vulcan faces showing a wide range of uncharacteristic emotions. The amazing skill and artistry of the paintings only added to the horror of them.

The artist started painting the face of a child among the others. Halfway through he paused and turned around slowly. He seemed to have sensed that he was being watched. Walking over to the force field he stared at Kirk and McCoy vacantly. Raising up his blood smeared hand he broke his fingers into the traditional salute and pressed it against the invisible barrier. He spoke, but it suddenly became clear that the field was also sound proof at the moment.

Unlike the fields in the brig on the Enterprise this one did not shock the prisoner. The Vulcan pulled his hand away, leaving a bloody handprint hanging in what looked like thin air. With sudden energy he dug his fingers into his bleeding wounds and started to paint portraits of the Vulcanized Captain and Medical Officer. Kirk jolted slightly as McCoy put his hand on his shoulder.

"Come on, Jim, we need to find Spock."

Kirk nodded even as he continued to stare at the painting of himself as the details came slowly to life under the artist's hand. He hated to re-smoke the field and leave the unknown Vulcan alone in his insanity. However, Bones nudged him again and he blackened the field. They came to the center lab and McCoy took instant interest.

"They certainly have an impressive set up here."

"And yet it would appear that they are no closer to solving this problem."

Bones noticed a vile of purple liquid on one of the medical trays and he slipped it into his pocket. Kirk noticed the theft, but didn't mention it. They continued through the midnight halls without encountering anyone. This was turning out to far easier than either one of them had expected, but they were not interested in complaining.

Coming to the far end of the next hall they stopped at the black shiny field. Kirk tapped in the code to the field and it flickered to clear. His heart stumbled in its rhythm when he caught sight of his friend. Even in his sleep Spock looked devastatingly ill. His chest heaved as he struggled to keep breathing.

"He looks terrible, Jim." Bones said sadly. "There is no way we are getting him up those stairs."

"No, probably not." Kirk agreed. "Although don't let this fool you, he may still be dangerous. Be ready to sedate him if you have to."

McCoy nodded and pulled out the hypo that he had brought along. When he was sure the doctor was ready Kirk lowered the field. They stepped into the small cell cautiously. It was never wise to wake a sleeping Vulcan, and in this case it was just begging for trouble. Kirk went to touch Spock's shoulder, but thought better of it.

"Spock?" Kirk whispered.

A light sleeper by nature Spock jerked awake. He looked up at Kirk and knit his brow together in confusion. Kirk smiled to try and help his friend remember him through the Vulcan trappings he wore. Before any look of recognition sparked Spock's eyes he jumped to his feet. Kirk stepped back and Bones got ready to sedate the target of their rescue.

Far from making any moves to attack Spock disappeared into the washroom. McCoy and Kirk exchanged worried looks as they heard Spock being physically sick. It wasn't long before he came back out to join the others. The skin tight tan shirt he wore highlighted the drastic weight loss he'd suffered from in the past two weeks. He walked up to his friends and inspected each of them in turn without comment. Kirk shifted his weight uncomfortably as the silence continued.

"Spock?"

"Captain, you do not make a convincing Vulcan." Spock said seriously and then looked at Bones. "You, however, Doctor seem to fit the role quite naturally."

"Remind me why we're risking life and career to bring this devil back on our ship?"

"Because, this devil happens to be the best First Officer in the fleet and our friend." Kirk smiled.

"Right." Bones sighed. "Can we go now?"

"No." Spock replied.

"No?"

"I will not leave without Saavik."

"Right, the one who sent us the message?" Kirk asked.

"Indeed." Spock nodded.

"Spock," Bones said "what is Uhura going to think?"

"I do not understand."

"Women get jealous, she might not take too kindly to you bringing a Vulcan filly on board."

"Saavik is only half Vulcan."

"I knew it!" Bones crowed in triumph.

"Doctor...are you suffering from a mental illness?" Spock asked seriously.

"Spock," Kirk stepped in "I didn't think there were any other half Vulcans."

"Neither did I, her father was Romulan. However, I fail to see how any of this is relevant. Saavik has risked her life for my own and she is not to be left behind."

"I agree." Kirk nodded. "Where can we find her?"

"She will meet us in the lab." Spock replied.

"Dare I ask how she'll know to come?" Bone asked.

In response Spock reached up and turned out the collar of his shirt. Inside was a small silver disk with a flashing blue light.

"I activated it as soon as I recognized you, it will alert Saavik."

"Then let's not keep the lady waiting." Bones smiled.

Spock nodded and stepped out of the cell as though he was simply leaving his own room. Bones exchanged a look with Kirk, but the Captain could only offer a shrug. McCoy shook his head sadly and they both followed Spock down the hall. When they reached the lab Saavik was waiting for them. She held a small silver device in her hand.

"Saavik," Spock greeted formally "this is Captain James T. Kirk and Medical Chief Leonard McCoy. Gentlemen this is Saavik."

"It is an honor to meet you both." Saavik bowed her head slightly.

"Likewise." Bones replied.

"Thank you for all your help." Kirk added.

"Hopefully you will be able to help all of Vulcan in return." Saavik said seriously. "Spock please give me your left hand."

Spock offered Saavik his hand without hesitation. She pressed the pen like tip of the device she held into the center of his palm. The silver tip sank into his hand causing a few drops of blood to bead on the surface of his skin. After a few seconds she drew the tip away along with a small oval disk of metal.

"What is that?" Kirk asked.

"A locator." Saavik replied. "All Vulcans were implanted with one without their knowledge during the census while a blood sample was being taken. I have removed my own as well."

"Can we use one of the elevators to get back to the surface?" Kirk asked.

"Yes, it may draw attention to ourselves. However, there is a good chance that no one will realize that we are gone until the morning."

"I have to admit that this rescue has been a lot easier than I thought it would be."

"That is because what Saavik has done is unthinkable to the Vulcan mind." Spock explained.

"Why not?"

"I have done what I feel is right," Saavik answered "but I have not done what is logical. It must be my Romulan blood that allows me to act so treasonously"

"I like her." Bones smiled.

"We should be going." Kirk pressed.

Saavik nodded and lead the way. When they came upon the hallway that held the elevators Saavik instructed the others to stay behind for a moment. There was a single Vulcan posted at the elevator doors. She was able to walk directly up to him without suspicion and with the speed of a snake she gripped down on the space between his neck and shoulder causing him to collapse to the floor.

"We have twenty-two minutes before he wakes and alerts the others." Saavik announced upon her return.

"We have a small craft waiting just outside the city, if we run..."

"Spock is unable to run." Saavik informed.

"It is true, Captain."

"Bones and I will go head and fly back to collect you two."

Having a plan they stepped into the elevator and rushed it to the surface. Spock remained on his feet, but already he had sweat beading against his skin. Bones automatically reached out and pressed his fingertips against Spock's throat.

"Your heart is beating too fast for me to count."

"My heart rate is elevated, but not dangerously so. Do not worry about me."

"It's hard not to worry about you when you look like you're dying."

"I do not look like I am dying, Doctor, I am dying."

Spock had made a simple statement of fact, but it was still chilling to hear him admit to the gravity of his condition so freely. Once on the surface Saavik and Spock made their way slowly towards the edge of the city while Kirk and Bones raced out ahead. They had plans to meet in a large park near by that the craft they had taken could land in.

Kirk and Bones made it back to the sleek craft and climbed aboard. Sitting at the controls Kirk pulled the black wig off and Bones followed suit. Navigating to the park they found that Spock had been forced to sit down in the grass. Once on board Spock quickly regained his composure although he looked near passing out.

Kirk was still having a hard time believing how easily they had rescued Spock. He pulled the nose of the streamlined craft up and bolted out into open space. They had left the Enterprise traveling on impulse about eight hours at the craft's top speed away. However, they were no more than ten minutes out into space before the sub-space communicator went off with a coded tag.

"That's Star Fleet." Bones noted.

"Well...that didn't take long." Kirk sighed.

Flicking on the sub-space Kirk put on his best smile for the small image that appeared. Admiral Pike stared coldly at him through the display.

"Captain."

"Admiral."

"Having a good time on 'leave'?"

"As a matter of fact..."

"Never mind, I just got a very demanding call from Natala. They are under the impression that you have kidnapped a patient of their's and are also harboring a fugitive. They require the immediate return of both."

"Admiral, I can explain."

"I'm listening."

Kirk launched into a full explanation of what had been happening. He detailed the sickness that was sweeping through the Vulcan species and cited the examples on both Star Base 17 and the Academy. He gave Pike a full report right up to the moment where the Admiral had called them on their way back to the Enterprise. Kirk put special emphasis on everything Saavik had done to ensure Spock's safe return.

"Thank you for the report, Captain. Commander Spock?"

"Yes, Admiral?"

"Spock, since Star Fleet prides itself in not discriminating against sex, race, or species we have already informed the Vulcan High Council that you are a Star Fleet Officer first and a Vulcan second. Therefore you can not be forced back to Natala."

"Thank you, Admiral Pike. May I ask, what of Saavik?"

"I will speak to her directly. Saavik?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"Since you are not in Star Fleet we do not have the same rules concerning you..."

"Admiral, please, if it wasn't for Saavik..." Kirk interrupted.

"Let me finish, James." Pike said. "Saavik, unfortunately you have broken several Vulcan laws and they are asking for extradition."

"I understand, Sir." Saavik nodded. "It is not unexpected."

"No, however, since your actions have resulted in the freeing of one of our valuable Officers, Star Fleet wishes to offer you the right of asylum from what we feel would be unjust persecution on Natala."

"Thank you, Admiral, I accept the right to asylum."

"Excellent. Captain?"

"Yes, Sir?"

"Will you accept Saavik under the terms of asylum aboard the Enterprise?"

"Of course."

"Then her safety is now as much your responsibility as the safety of the rest of your crew."

"Understood, Sir." Kirk nodded. "Sir, the Enterprise's next mission..."

"As of this moment the Enterprise is to be fully committed to solving the mystery behind the Vulcan crisis."

"Aye, aye, Sir."

"Admiral?" Spock asked.

"Yes, Commander?"

"Has Vulcan Council asked for the Federation's assistance in this matter?"

"No, they have yet to even admit to the problem, but we are going to do everything to we can to help anyway."

"I fear, Admiral, that there is nothing that can be done. Even if a cure is found the Vulcan species has been destroyed beyond repair."

"Spock?" Kirk asked in concern.

"Logic has been abandoned even by those unaffected, ...and without logic we are nothing."


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

Uhura paced in her room anxiously. The Captain had not told anyone why he and the doctor were leaving, but she knew what they were up to. She had wanted so much to go with them, but she knew he'd never allow it. Now the waiting was almost more than she could bare.

Anubis became determined to keep her from pacing and started weaving in and out of her legs. Fearing that she was going to trip over the friendly cat Uhura absent mindedly reached down and picked him up. Anubis purred in her arms as she gently stroked him.

Looking down at the cat Uhura caught sight of her wedding band. The metal had been a dull lead colour for so long that she was startled to see it shining a bright silver. As she stared at the metal it increased its luster and began to deepen into gold. She was so fascinated by the change that she didn't even hear the door opening.

"Nyota..."

Uhura gasped as she brought her head up sharply. Still dressed in the Vulcan robes Spock stood at the door looking almost nothing like the man she'd married. The weight loss and stress had sharpened his features and increased the green tint of his skin. For a fraction of a second Uhura was startled by how alien he truly appeared. The thought was gone almost as soon as it had manifested and she broke into a bright smile of relief.

Anubis protested as he was dropped to the carpeted floor. Uhura rushed up and pinned Spock to the closed door with a little more force than she had planed on. Locked in a passionate kiss he wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close. Uhura snaked her hands up onto either side of his face and when she was finally rendered breathless she broke off the kiss and gently rested her forehead against his.

"I was starting to fear that I wasn't going to see you again." Uhura whispered.

"I have been living with a similar fear."

"I've missed you so much."

Spock replied by simply holding her closer and taking a deep breath of her scent. Uhura leaned against him and for the first time became aware of how heavily he was breathing. She pulled away from him slightly and looked at how thin he had become. His chest heaved like an animal panting in pain, but his face remained passive.

"What did they do to you?" Uhura whispered in horror.

"Nothing. My body is failing me on its own."

"Are..." Uhura hesitated "are you dying?"

"I believe so."

Even though she had known the answer before she had asked it was still overwhelming to hear him admit to it out loud. Breaking down into tears she cried silently against his chest. Spock stroked her hair and allowed her to release her emotions. Eventually she settled, but she kept her cheek pressed against his chest.

"Spock, I..." Uhura hesitated. "I'm pregnant."

"I know." Spock said gently.

"Who..."

"I could sense it when I touched you." Spock explained. "I was waiting for you to tell me in your own time."

"You sound so calm."

"Were you expecting a different reaction?"

"Yes." Uhura admitted. "Part of me thought you would be angry."

"How could I ever be angry at the woman baring my child?"

"Because of the circumstances."

"I have never received greater news in all my life." Spock said honestly.

"You don't act like it."

"It is not my nature to react in any other way than how I am acting now."

"I know." Uhura smiled sadly. "Personally I'm scared, I can't raise a child alone."

"We do not know yet if it is going to come to that."

Uhura nodded half heartedly. She nuzzled against Spock's chest and could hear his heart thumping so fast that it was humming. Worried she took him over to the bed to sit down. He did so without protest but seemed unable to settle down. Uhura's own stomach knotted as Spock pointlessly rubbed at his forearms as though cold.

"Spock?"

"I am sorry." He said as he instantly stopped his pointless fidgeting.

"It's okay. Talk to me, what are you thinking about?"

"Nothing."

"You expect me to believe that?"

Spock turned his gaze to Uhura and a slight smile touched his lips. She raised an eyebrow in a silent demand to be told what out of the numerous recent events was troubling him the most. Spock leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss.

"I have never been afraid of dying." Spock whispered. "However, now I find myself terrified of the prospect."

"That's only natural."

"Not for a Vulcan. We do not see death in the same way humans do. It is not an ending, simply a new beginning. Logically I know that both you and our child can survive without me, but the very thought of you having to is physically painful. I do not understand it."

"It's called 'love', Spock." Uhura smiled. "I thought you'd know more about love by now. I thought you knew that you loved me."

"I do know that, I have told you many times. I just did not realize that this was going to be a consequence of that love."

"Nothing is for free."

Spock continued to stare into Uhura's eyes while he thought over her words. Eventually he nodded. Reaching out he brushed her cheek with the back of his hand. She reached up and took his hand so that she could press against it. Spock guided her into another kiss before drawing her into a warm embrace.

"You are worth any cost." Spock breathed in her ear.

"What an illogical thing to say." Uhura teased.

"It is illogical, but it is also the truth."

Despite all the tension she still held Uhura managed to laugh. Spock closed his eyes as he often did when she laughed. To her he looked for all the world like he was shutting out the visual world so that he could better concentrate on the sound of her laughter, which was exactly what he was doing. When he opened his dark eyes again they seemed out of focus.

"Spock, you look exhausted."

"I am." Spock confirmed. "Dr. McCoy wishes me to stay in medical bay, but I have refused. I wish to spend whatever remains of my time with my wife."

"I could sleep in medical with you."

"No. I belong here."

"I agree. It is late, we should get some sleep."

"I must remove these clothes and rinse my skin, it reeks of Natala."

"You sound angry, it's not something I'm used to hearing."

"The Vulandin does not fully suppress my symptoms." Spock said.

"I think you have always held some resentment towards all Vulcans, now it's just closer to the surface."

"Resentment is a human emotion, an illogical one at that."

"I know, but I still see it in your eyes. I always have." Uhura smiled sadly. "Sometimes I think you would do better if you just admitted to it."

"You are acting much like Doctor McCoy."

"I am?"

"He is constantly trying to get me to expose my human side."

"No, Spock, not 'expose', we want you to 'accept' it." Uhura said softly.

"I accept it, however, I do not wish to allow emotions to rule my thinking. For Vulcans emotion is either all or none, and it is the 'all' that is putting me to a slow death."

"I'm sorry," Uhura said as her eyes brightened with tears "I shouldn't have brought it up."

"Then why did you?"

"I guess I'm just trying to predict if our child is going to have as difficult a time with his human blood as you do."

"Logic forces me to answer 'yes'."

"Why?"

"Because humans and Vulcans are like oil and water, they do not mix well."

"And yet I still love you."

"And I you, but it is not logical."

"It never is."

Uhura pressed her lips against Spock's for an amorous kiss. After sliping his open robe off his shoulders she tugged at the edge of his Natalian shirt and he allowed her to pull it off. She ran her hands down the sides of his ribs and once again battled against tears. Getting up off the bed she lead him into the shower and joined him under the hot spray.

Slick with soap Spock ran his hands over Uhura's dark skin. Once covered in a fragrant lather she used her whole body to erase the stain of Natala off his ivory skin. Spock found himself once again pinned against the wall with his ear gently held captive in Uhura's teeth. They were both enjoying the intimate shower, however, it wasn't long before Spock was having trouble remaining standing.

Rinsing the soap off Uhura helped Spock dry off before leading him back to bed. Along the way he picked up the discarded robe from Natala and riffled through the pockets. Pulling out a small hypo-gun he pressed the tip against his own throat. The Vulandin injection caused his eyes to roll back for a moment and at first Uhura thought he was going to fall.

Taking a deep breath Spock regained his composure and peacefully allowed Uhura to help him get under the covers. Spock laid on his back and Uhura curled up on her side next to him. It wasn't long before Anubis made himself known again and curled up at their feet. Uhura put her ear against Spock's chest and listened to his laboured breathing. He reached over and sought out her hand to take. Once he had his prize he brought it onto his stomach where he kept her fingers intwined with his own.

"Spock...don't leave me."

"I can not promise not to."

"Promise me anyway." Uhura insisted.

"It would be a lie." Spock replied.

"I don't care, I need to hear it."

"I promise to love you forever..."


	21. Chapter 21

NOTE from the PHOENIX: I have hijacked the character 'Saavik' from the movies and I'm slowly making her my own (why not, it's a reboot world after all), so I am making up her background. Forgive me if I've made some Romulan mistakes...I've only ever seen TOS and therefore I don't have any 'up to date' info on Romulans. So just cope. Thanks!

Chapter Twenty-one

Blurry eye and sporting a five o'clock shadow McCoy headed down towards medical. After the rescue mission he had been exhausted, and the five hours of sleep he had gotten hadn't done much to change the situation. When his alarm had gone off this morning he had seriously considered just rolling over and going back to sleep. However he knew that both Saavik and Spock would be waiting for him and he wasn't about to suffer the Vulcans in their quiet arrogance about his human sleeping habits.

When he arrived at the medical lab he was surprised to find that Spock was not there. Saavik was standing in front of one of the computer panels on the far wall. She navigated the touch screen with practice ease and was reading through the pages she had brought up with incredible speed.

Saavik had been supplied with a plain black male uniform. Bones wondered if she had flat out refused to wear the short dress that the female crew of the Enterprise wore. In McCoy's opinion the modest uniform added to her look of pure self confidence, something he didn't see very often in anyone let alone a woman. She wore no make-up, and clearly felt no need to flaunt her undeniable curves. Her intellect meant more to her than her physical body, however it simply gave her a more natural beauty.

"Good morning, Ma'am." Bones greeted formally.

"Dr. McCoy," Saavik turned around and nodded slightly "I was just reviewing your charts on Commander Spock and the care he has received from you over the years. You have an impressive knowledge of proper Vulcan medical care."

"For a human?" Bones supplied.

"For anyone."

"Really?" McCoy smiled. "I'm sure you will find that Mr. Spock would disagree."

"He should not." Saavik turned and brought up several files. "I have found three separate occurrences where Spock would not have survived without your care. Any mistake on your part during these medical crisis would have undoubtedly lead to his death. On all three occasions you made choices that would have been fatal to humans, but were exactly what your patient required. As a Vulcan myself I would not hesitate to submit to your care in an emergency."

"Thank you...I think. Are you a medical doctor?"

"I am a biochemical engineer specializing in organic chemistry and pharmaceuticals."

"I was unaware that Vulcans used pharmaceuticals."

"Normally we do not, however that does not temper our scientific curiosity in the matter. Often the chemicals we produce are not intended for Vulcan use."

"Right, I believe that Trilium dicloxicillin is a Vulcan made drug. It's good stuff, the only thing I know that works when a patient has both a penicillin and a neopenicillin allergy. I know a lot of lives that would have been lost without it."

"Yes. As is Vulandin, however we have not proven to be as clever when it comes to discovering drugs to save ourselves."

"Or medical safety in general."

"What do you mean?"

"Do you ever worry that whatever this is may truly be contagious? You've been working with it so closely without taking any precautions."

"Even if it proves contagious I believe I will be immune. I am subject to heterosis."

"Heterosis...you mean 'hybrid vigor'?"

"Exactly. Romulans and Vulcans descended from the same base ancestors, but evolved for millions of years apart. Bringing the blood lines back together allows for the strongest traits of both to be expressed while hiding the recessive faults that are inherent in any set population. It has been estimated that I will live three to four hundred years."

"Spock doesn't seem to have this same advantage."

"No. He has outbreeding depression, human blood is not compatible with Vulcan blood the way that Romulan is."

"I see." Bones thought about this for a moment. "Why doesn't the Vulcan race introduce some more Romulan blood to help with the population crisis."

"It was an option that was considered."

"Why wasn't it put into action?"

"Because the Romulans said 'no'." Saavik replied simply.

"Ah, right...of course."

"My own father was put to death for what he had done. Not for being a rapist, but for 'giving' the Vulcans access to Romulan genes. Although in the past few decades Romulan/Vulcan relations have improved to the point of a quiet mutual distrust there is still a great deal of friction between us."

"Do the Romulans know you exist?"

"They do. I am only safe because they do not have access to me. If I was to wander into Romulan territory I would be put to death without trial on grounds of treasonous theft."

"Theft? Your DNA?"

"They do not consider it 'mine'."

Bones was brought up short by this answer. He had never considered that anyone could consider a person's very DNA to be property. It hailed so far back to the days where slavery was still in practice. Bones glanced around and noticed that everyone in the medical bay kept glancing over at them. He suddenly remembered that human/Romulan relations were not exactly friendly and feared that Saavik would be subject to more prejudice than Spock when he first arrived. It didn't help that she was not of the Academy. Bones turned on his staff in irritation.

"What the devil are you all staring at?" Bones demanded.

"You are still wearing your Vulcan ears, Doctor." Saavik replied. "I believe they find it amusing, they have been whispering derogatory comments since your arrival."

"What?" Bones reached up and touched his ears. "Oh for crying out loud. I was so exhausted last night I didn't even think about it, and of course it will be weeks before my eyebrows grow back in right."

"You do make a convincing Vulcan, Doctor."

"So I've been told." Bones grumbled and then rounded on his staff again. "One more out of place remark about myself or Saavik and I will have you all demoted to assistant phlebotomist!"

"Yes, Doctor." The scattering of nurses and doctors muttered and made themselves busy elsewhere.

Instantly distracted from the conversation they had been having Bones pinched the tip of his right ear and tried to pull the prosthetic off. Wincing in pain he pulled harder at the stubborn piece of synthetic flesh. It took him a moment to realize that in order to get the pointed tip off he was going to have to rip his own skin off with it. Releasing his ear he narrowed his eyes in suspicion. Stalking over to the intercom he hailed the bridge.

"Kirk here."

"Jim, did you get your ear points off?"

"Yup, ...although I suspect you'll be stuck with them for at least a week."

"What?!"

"I couldn't help myself." Kirk confessed. "I had Cindy use a more permanent glue with you. I can't believe it took you this long to notice."

"Was this really the time or the place for a practical joke, Jim?" Bones asked unamused.

"Think of it as penance for all those years of making fun of Spock's ears." Kirk chuckled. "Besides, even Spock said they fit you well."

"You'd better watch your back, Jim," Bones growled dangerously "you'll end up in my medical bay at my mercy sooner or later. Knowing your track record it will be sooner rather than later."

"You have no sense of humor, Bones."

"I'd rather have no sense of humor than a sick one."

"Don't you have work you should be doing?" Kirk asked mockingly.

"I hate you."

"You should have left me on Earth when you had the chance."

"Don't think it doesn't cross my mind at least once a day."

"In all seriousness, Bones, get to work on figuring out what is going on here...you can't let a fellow Vulcan die. Meanwhile I'm charting us a course back to Starbase 17, maybe there is some more clues there from when the Vulcan attacked."

The intercom gave a slight click as Kirk shut the channel. Looking murderous Bones walked back over to the lab desk. Saavik watched him with a passive expression, while everyone else went back to their own jobs trying to hide their smiles.

"He really is insane," Bones muttered bitterly as he uselessly tugged on his ear again "the fact that he manages to run a Starship boggles my mind."

"Do you find being associated with a Vulcan insulting?" Saavik asked honestly.

"What? No. It's not that...it's just...um...well...it's a long story."

"We certainly do not have time for that."

McCoy was grateful that he didn't have to explain the awkward friendship he and Spock shared, particularly when the half Vulcan in question arrived at the medical lab. Dressed once again in his uniform he suddenly did not look nearly as ill. He held his posture perfectly with his hands clasped gently behind his back as was his habit. However when he stepped closer McCoy could see a fine bead of sweat at his temple.

"Doctor, Saavik." Spock greeted each in turn. "I apologize for being late."

"It's alright, Spock. How are you feeling?"

"Are you truly interested in a catalogue of my symptoms? I will warn you that it is extensive."

"How about just the highlights?" Bones suggested.

"I am rapidly losing weight from a combination of lack of appetite and a nausea that prevents me from retaining anything that I do manage to eat. Although I find the Enterprise to be too cold for my physiology I find myself continuing to sweat. If I am not careful or if I am not stopped I will repeat a pointless motion for hours. In light of what I have observed from both yourself and the Captain the rest of my symptoms seem to mimic that of what you describe as a 'hang over'."

"Spock," Saavik said "I believe those all to be side effects of the Vulandin, not the primary disorder."

"My symptoms do shift when I am without the Vulandin." Spock nodded.

"What are those symptoms like?" Bones asked.

"Vertigo, fainting, unexplained bleeding, agitation, feelings of extreme violence, anger, sadness, distrust, homicidal as well as suicidal thoughts. Overlaying all of this is an auditory hallucination of voices."

"Some of that sounds like a form of schizophrenia. Do you suffer any of that when you're on the Vulandin?"

"No."

"Then it must be working." McCoy mused.

"Indeed." Spock agreed.

"Yes," Saavik said "however, Vulandin is also toxic to Vulcans."

"So he has to chose between dying from the disease or dying from the cure?" Bones asked.

"It is not a cure, it is only a treatment of symptoms." Saavik replied having taken him litteraly.

"I have chosen the slow physical death over the more painful emotional one." Spock informed. "I will continue with the Vulandin until another option presents itself."

"Saavik, did you create Vulandin?" McCoy asked.

"Yes."

"How does it work?"

"It's primary function is to act as a dopamine binder, however it also acts on several other hormones and chemicals within the limbic system."

"The limbic system controls memory in humans."

"It has some of the same functions in Vulcans." Saavik agreed. "It is also thought to possibly be the site of control during mind meld."

"Wait...Vulcan's don't know how mind melding works?"

"We do not fully understand it."

"Doctor," Spock broke in "Vulcan telepathy works on a level beyond the physical and into the realm of the metaphysical."

"I see. Okay, let's lay out exactly what everyone knows about this disorder." Bones instructed. "Saavik?"

"It is not contagious, it does not appear to have a pathogenic origin. It affects males in their prime and corresponds to the onset of pon farr. In the beginning stages the symptoms are similar but continue to cascade and escalate."

"There are no female cases?" Bones asked.

"None."

"Do...uh...if you don't mind me asking do female Vulcans go through pon farr?"

"Yes. However, it is different for us." Saavik confirmed. "One aspect of male pon farr that is particularly strong in young males is the need to return to Vulcan itself."

"But now there isn't even a Vulcan to try and return to." Bones pointed out.

"Correct."

"Could that have something to do with this?" Bones asked.

"It is a theory that has been dismissed." Saavik answered.

"Why?"

"There is a known case of a Vulcan surviving pon farr away from the Vulcan homeworld." Saavik said.

"Who was it?"

"My father." Spock replied. "He was unavoidably delayed during one of his many trips to Earth and was unable to return to Vulcan, my mother assisted him and afterward he felt it only logical to marry her. Or at least that is the story I was originally told."

"You have reason to doubt it?"

"Those looking for a way to discredit my father say that there is a discrepancy in my father's age and that he should have been a year away from pon farr when I was conceived."

"Meaning?" Bones asked for clarification.

"Meaning that I was the result of a want rather than a need."

"You mean love?"

"Yes, Doctor, love."

"That would have been scandalous for your father and his status on Vulcan, no doubt." Bones noted. "Do you think he would have tried to hide it?"

"If it is true, then 'yes', however I can also believe his story."

"Still we are left with no proof that a Vulcan male has survived pon farr off of Vulcan." Bones pointed out.

"Logical." Saavik and Spock agreed at the same time.

"Does anyone truly understand pon farr?"

"No."

"Is there any way to survive pon farr without mating?"

"Yes." Spock nodded. "On Vulcan several weeks of deep meditation or participation in a fight to the death known as kal-if-fee will end pon farr."

"Has anyone tried the meditation trick for this current problem?"

"I did not have time to attempt it, I opted to take a mate instead."

"We have tried that on Natala and found that it increases the speed at which the Sickness progresses." Saavik confirmed.

"This isn't helping." Bones sighed. "Spock, with your permission I would like to run a full battery of tests, body scans, complete blood and hormone work up, everything. At least attempt to get a handle on what is happening physically."

"Very well, Doctor."

The next six hours were devoted to running Spock through every diagnostic that McCoy could think of. Including detailed imagine scans of his brain in an attempt to find the answer. Half way through Uhura showed up and stayed at his side. As the day progressed Spock's condition worsened until he was having trouble staying awake. They had placed as many nutrients directly into his blood as they could, but it couldn't replace actually eating.

"Okay, Spock," Bones sighed "that's enough. Uhura keep and eye on him, call me for any reason."

"Yes, Doctor."

"And see if you can get him to eat something."

"I am not hungry, Doctor." Spock protested.

"I didn't ask if you were hungry."

Spock thought about this for a second and nodded. Uhura helped him down off the exam table and the pair left. Saavik was already standing at the computer panel sifting through the mountain of data that they had collected. McCoy stepped up next to her.

"Is any of this new information to you?"

"A great deal of it is, Doctor." Saavik nodded. "The facilities on Natala do not have as advanced imagining equipment."

"That surprises me."

"We have never needed it in the past."

Saavik never took her eyes away from the quickly flashing screens. McCoy could practically see her mind working as she absorbed the information. He tapped on the computer and started to go through the information himself at a slower pace. Hours later he was ready to claw his own eyes out.

"None of this makes sense. All of the effects that we are detecting seem to be more a reaction to Vulandin than anything else."

"Agreed." Saavik nodded.

"The main thing that worries me is the increased size of the ventricles in his brain, but for all I know that's normal for a Vulcan. I've never taken this close a look at one." Bones admitted. "I wish I had another Vulcan to compare him to."

"You have me. Feel free to do whatever you want with me."

Even though he knew what she had meant by the words the phrasing still caught Bones off guard. He glanced over at her with a touch of a grin. To his surprise Saavik smiled slightly as well. Bones raised one of his now slanted eyebrows automatically which caused Saavik to look at him in concern. The flash of compassion in her eyes was another look he wasn't used to from a Vulcan.

"Amazing." Bones said to himself.

"Is there something wrong, Doctor?"

"No, it's just that I wouldn't have guessed that a half Romulan Vulcan would smile so much more than a half human one."

"Smile?"

"Yeah, you know when the corners of your mouth turn up." Bones chuckled. "It is usually used to convey the emotion of happiness or amusement."

"I have been smiling?"

"Yes, you haven't noticed?" Bones asked.

"No. I was raised on Vulcan and smiling is not a Vulcan trait."

"Tell me about it." McCoy rolled his eyes. "However, it is contagious, perhaps you just needed a little time with humans to bring it out. It is a good quality to have."

"You enjoy my smile?"

"Very much."

Bones smiled brightly to prove he meant what he'd said. Saavik furrowed her brow as she attempted to mimic his expression. It was not as natural looking as it had been a few minutes ago, but it still added to her beauty. McCoy chuckled at her attempt, but his expression turned to one of concern as a single tear slipped down Saavik's face.

Without thinking McCoy reached out and brushed the tear off. Saavik gasped sharply and jerked away from his touch. Bones drew his hand back as well, having experienced what had felt like a slightly electrical shock. Saavik stared at Bones with an unreadable expression. McCoy gasped in surprise as her cheeks suddenly turned an intense emerald and she averted her gaze to the floor.

"Saavik? Are you okay?"

"Yes, Doctor. I am sorry, it has been a taxing day, I am very tired. If you will excuse me?"

"Yes, of course, bu..."

"Thank you, good day." Saavik said sharply.

Still keeping her eyes on the floor Saavik turned away and left the medical bay calmly. Once in the hallway she quickened her pace. Several of the crew glared at her as she passed by, but she paid no attention to them. By the time she made it to the safety of her temporary quarters she was breathing heavily.

After taking a moment to catch her breath she walked into the wash room. She looked around anxiously, afraid someone might be watching her. Assured that she was alone Saavik stared at her reflection. Her cheeks were still flushed with green blood. Saavik raised her hand up to inspect it and found that it was trembling uncontrollably.

"No...no. This can not happen, not now. Please, not now..."


	22. Chapter 22

NOTE from the PHOENIX: I have been informed that Saavick is considerably younger than Spock. In all reality she probably shouldn't even be born yet, but that's another story. So I tweaked the previous chapter to remove any mention of her age, I also cut down her resume to just Vulcine. I don't often 'go back', but this seemed worth fixing.

Chapter Twenty-two

Kirk sat in his place on the bridge watching the beautiful blue aurora of Warp speed. They were heading towards Star Base 17. It was a six day journey from their place near Natala at full Warp, but they were now only a few hours away from their destination. Kirk turned as he heard the elevator doors opening.

Spock stepped onto the bridge with Uhura at his side. She still looked highly stressed, but at least her eyes were alive again now that Spock had returned. Uhura pushed herself up on her tip toe and kissed Spock's cheek. This was an action that at any other time Spock would have discouraged, but he accepted it gratefully and brushed his fingertips against her temple affectionately in response. From the way Uhura smiled Kirk wondered if he'd just witnessed a quick mind meld.

Uhura took her place at the communications board. Spock glanced around at the bridge to make sure that everything was in working order. Satisfied he made his way up to the Captain's chair and stood by his side, staring forward out at the aurora. He acted as though nothing was wrong, but the heavy rise and fall of his chest betrayed the fight for survival that was raging inside. Kirk waited a moment for his First Officer to say something, but realized quickly that it would be a long wait.

"Spock, shouldn't you be down in medical?"

"There is little more they can do for me or to me for that matter."

"Fair enough." Kirk nodded. "Bones is tearing his hair out over this."

"I don't see how that will help."

"Just a figure of speech."

"One day I will have mentally catalogued all of your 'figures of speech' and hopeful at that point in time I will understand you better."

"I doubt it." Kirk smiled. "All I really mean is that we don't seem to be getting anywhere."

"It would appear that there is no answer to the problem at hand." Spock mused. "He and Saavik have found the effects of what is happening to me, but no cause. Of course that is not logical for every effect there must be a cause."

"What about the idea that there is no longer a Vulcan to return to causing this pon farr to go too...er...well 'too far'."

"Captain, if you do not mind altering course slightly perhaps we could conduct an experiment to test the theory."

"Oh? How?"

"Divert from Star Base 17 to the Vulcan black hole, if the Sickness has anything to do with the planet then proximity to it should alter symptoms."

"But it's not there anymore." Kirk pointed out needlessly.

"I am aware of that, Captain. However, matter can neither be created nor destroyed, it simply changes form. The matter that was once Vulcan is now in the form of a powerful gravitational field. One can no longer touch the surface of Vulcan, but if this condition has something to do with returning home there should be some noticeable change."

"Worth a shot."

"That is a figure of speech that I am familiar with." Spock nodded. "You use it often. I have yet to determine the value of a 'shot' however, it seems to vary."

"Don't worry about it." Kirk looked over to Navigation. "Mr. Sulu, can you alter our course to take us to the Vulcan black hole?"

"Aye, aye, Sir." Sulu made the changes. "Estimated time of arrival two hours twelve minutes."

"Perfect." Kirk looked back to his friend. "Can I interest you in a game of chess?"

"That seems like an unusual request at this moment in time, Captain."

"Spock," Uhura interjected "what the Captain means is he's like to talk to you alone."

"I see." Spock furrowed his brow. "Is this true, Captain?"

"Yes."

"Then why did you not simply ask to do so?"

"Because I didn't want to make it sound like an order."

"Order or not, I will agree to the game, and the terms behind it."

"Thank you."

Kirk got up and made his way to the elevator with Spock close on his heels. Once in the elevator Spock leaned his back against the wall and closed his eyes. Kirk watched sadly as Spock went from looking healthy to knocking on death's door begging for entry. As First Officer he was trying his hardest not to let the rest of the crew see how deeply he was being affected. Kirk offered him no help, knowing that it wasn't what the Vulcan wanted from him right now.

When the elevator doors opened Spock also snapped his eyes open and pushed himself from the wall. He walked at a natural pace towards the Captain's quarters. The average onlooker would never suspect anything was wrong with him. Kirk on the other hand could see the tension in his stride as he forced himself to remain upright and balanced. He'd lost the natural grace with which Vulcans move.

Inside the safety of the private quarters Spock was forced to put his hand on the wall to steady himself. This time Kirk offered his assistance. He slipped in under Spock's arm and supported him over to one of the chairs. Spock sat down and took a few minutes to collect himself.

"Thank you, Jim." Spock slipped into less formal address now that they were in private. "This new weakness is most...difficult."

"I believe it. Do you want me to set up a game?"

"If the purpose of coming here was to simply talk I would rather not play. I am being taxed both physically and mentally currently, and a game of chess would do little more than stress me further."

"Then forget it, I just know that it is something that you enjoy."

"There was a time when you would be correct."

"We tend to have our best conversations over an intense game. I think it's because it gives me a slight edge to have you distracted."

"Captain, you are avoiding the topic at hand."

"Yes, I suppose I am." Kirk admitted. "Spock, I have though about what you asked of me. I'm sorry it took three days to come to an answer, but you have to understand that it's a big responsibility."

"I do understand that, that is why I asked you."

"Does Uhura know?"

"She will be informed, but it is not her decision."

"I see." Kirk said even though he didn't. "Spock if Uhura has a son and you are no longer there for him I would be honoured to serve as his Bal'late."

"Bal'lat." Spock corrected. "Thank you, it means a great deal to me. If Uhura and I have a son when he reaches a certain age he will have questions that he will not feel comfortable going to her for answers. There are consequences to being Vulcan that he will not understand without guidance. He will also require a strong male role model in his life and I can think of no better."

"I can: you."

"It is my greatest desire to be a father to my own child." Spock nodded. "However, we do not get everything we wish in this world."

"We are going to find the answer." Kirk said with more confidence than he felt. "We can't just let you die."

"I do not feel like I am simply being allowed to die, I know that you are all doing everything in your power to aid me. I am very fortunate to be surrounded by such friends."

"And we are fortunate to have you."

"Thank you." Spock replied and then closed his eyes.

"Spock?"

"I am doing poorly at the moment."

"Come on, let's go down to medical."

"No." Spock shook his head weakly. "May I simply rest here until our arrival at the Vulcan black hole?"

"Sure. Go lay down. I'll wake you when we're there."

Spock opened his eyes slowly and began to force himself to his feet. Kirk came to his aid and once again supported him. Halfway to the bed Spock was forced to stop by a violent fit of dry heaves. Doubled over by the unproductive retching Spock fought to keep on his feet. Not knowing what else to do Kirk ensured that Spock stayed standing and just waited until it was over.

When he had his stomach back under control Spock growled against the indignity of his situation as he straightened his back. Through sheer force of will they finished the short journey to the bed. Laying down on his side Spock was almost instantly asleep. Kirk went back out into the commons area of his quarters and hailed down to medical.

"McCoy here."

"Hey, Bones, anything to report?"

"No, Jim. Sorry. There is no medical explanation for what is happening. I do have an estimate though."

"An estimate? Of what?"

"Of how much longer Spock's system can handle the Vulandin."

"How long?"

"Three weeks...a month, max."

"And if he discontinued the Vulandin?" Kirk asked.

"According to Saavik he'd be dangerously insane within forty-eight hours." Bones replied. "Spock has already made it clear that he'd rather be killed by the Vulandin than lose himself to insanity."

"Understood. Keep me up to date."

"Yes, Captain."

"Bones?"

"Yes?"

"Is there something you're not telling me?" Kirk asked.

"What makes you ask that?"

"What makes you unable to answer 'no'?" Kirk countered.

"It's nothing important, Jim."

"Bon..."

"I have to get back to work."

Kirk was concerned by McCoy's indirect answers, but he felt there was little he could do about it right now. Feeling tired himself Kirk wandered over to the couch and laid down. It seemed like only seconds passed before the intercom whistled him awake. Kirk opened his eyes and then closed them against a headache.

"Kirk here."

"Captain," Sulu responded "arrival at the Vulcan black hole in five minutes."

"Thank you, Sulu."

Kirk got up and stretched out his sore back. Walking into the bedroom he watched Spock sleeping peacefully. He thought about just leaving the Vulcan asleep, but he decided against it. Walking over to the bed he lightly touched Spock's shoulder. Jerked out of a deep sleep Spock scrambled away from the contact and fell off the far side of the bed.

"Spock?"

"I am uninjured." Spock replied from the floor.

Smililng despite the circumstances Kirk walked over to the far side of the bed to help Spock up. Once on his feet he took a step away from the Captain. The short rest had improved his condition and he was able to walk on his own. They made their way up to the bridge. Uhura glanced over and flashed Spock a nervous smile. He went over to her and lovingly brushed her temple once more. As his time ran out he was less apprehensive about showing his affection for her in public.

"Sir," Sulu greeted "we will be dropping out of Warp in five, four, three, two, one..."

Kirk watched the view screen as the blue aurora was replaced by a star field and the eerie Einstein rings that surrounded the black hole. He was just about to ask Spock how he was feeling when the Vulcan shrieked in pain. Kirk whipped around and raced to Spock who had collapsed to his hands and knees.

Uhura was knelt down beside him with one hand on his lower back, but there was nothing she could do to comfort him. Curling up tightly Spock roared like a wounded lion. Kirk was just about to physically lift Spock up to carry him down to medical when Spock relaxed and held his hand up in a signal that he did not need nor want assistance. With his head bowed he gasped for breath.

"I apologize," Spock panted "I am in control once again."

To prove the statement to everyone, including himself, Spock sat back on his heels. He had his eyes closed and took a few deep breaths. Uhura and Kirk exchanged worried glances, hoping to find answers from one another. The entire bridge held its breath while they waited for Spock to collect himself. He brought his head up and opened his eyes to reveal a shocking change.

"Spock!" Uhura cried. "Your eyes!"

"I can see just fine, Nyota." Spock reassured.

"That's not what she's worried about." Kirk said equally alarmed. "The whites of your eyes are bright green. I'll call Dr. McCo..."

"Jim!" Bones' voice cried out of the intercom. "I need you and Spock in medical now!"

"On our way."

Kirk hauled Spock up to his feet and headed towards the elevator. Uhura came along as well, not about to be separated from him at the moment. Spock made it clear that he no longer needed help to remain standing. He furrowed his brow as he became lost in thought. His dark eyes that were now surrounded in a glassy sea of green blood added to his increasingly alien appearance. Uhura stayed close and took his hand, Spock looked at her and allowed a sad smile to flicker across his lips.

"Spock, what was that?" Kirk asked.

"I do not know, a violent explosion of pain."

Before any further explanation could be sought the elevator door opened to the sounds of chaos. Shouts of alarm were punctuated by the sounds of breaking glass. A high pitched wail rang out over the general din. The heart wrenching sound repeated itself as the trio hurried to the entrance to medical.

"Saavik!" Bones barked. "Put that down!"

Kirk came to a skidding halt as a glass container came flying out of the medical bay entryway. The glass shattered against the far wall and the liquid inside began to eat a hole in the ship. Stepping into medical Kirk was shocked by the sheer amount of destruction.

Beyond property damage there were at least six men that had been beaten bloody. In the center of the storm were Saavik and Bones, squaring off like dogs in a fight. McCoy had crimson blood pouring down from a deep gash in his temple. Saavik's mouth and throat were covered in blood from her still badly bleeding nose. Rather than looking like a victim she looked like she'd just taken a bite out of another Vulcan's neck.

"Easy, Saavik." Bones tried to sooth the wild Vulcan. "We're trying to help you."

Screaming in a terrifying mixture of pain and rage she tensed her muscles up to throw herself at Bones.

"Saavik." Spock said sternly.

Spock's voice had an instant affect on her. She snapped her head up and stared at him. Moving slowly Spock approached her with one hand held out in an offer for her to take. Breaking into tears Saavik backed away from him until she ran into one of the exam tables. Gasping sharply she dropped to her knees and clamped her hands down over her ears.

Saavik screamed again pressing her palms harder against her ears. Suddenly losing consciousness she fell back and began convulsing sickeningly. Spock was the only one who came even close to being strong enough to hold her down through the seizure, but in his own weakened state he was barely managing.

McCoy rushed up and fell to his knees next to her with a hypo. He pressed the device against her ivory throat and it hissed like an angry snake. Saavik snapped awake and cried out before relaxing completely. Although her eyes were open it was clear they they weren't seeing anything. Blood continued to ooze from her nose as she gasped for breath like a fish on a sun scorched dock. Exhausted Spock released her and was forced to lay on his side on the floor.

"Bones?" Kirk asked. "Bones, what did you give her?"

"Vulandin."

"How did you know it would work?"

"I didn't." Bones admitted. "I'd already jabbed her with enough sedatives to bring down a Giant Vigelian Hoof-rat."

"What the hell happened happened?"

"I don't know. It happened so fast." Bones replied as he lifted Saavik up and placed her carefully on one of the exam tables. The monitors jumped to life telling him the bad news. "One second she was fine, the next she was tearing the place apart."

"Is she going to be okay?"

"According to these readings...no."

"Something happened to Spock as wel..." Kirk trailed off and looked around. "Where's Spock? And Uhura for that matter?"

"Go find him, Jim, he needs to be in the sick bay no matter if he wants to or not."

Kirk nodded. Before he left he went over to the intercom and hailed the bride.

"Yes, Captain?" Sulu answered.

"Mr. Sulu, get us out of here." Kirk ordered.

"Where to?"

"I don't care, just start putting some distance between us and the black hole."

"Aye, aye, Sir."

"The Vulcan black hole?" Bones asked confused.

"Yes, we had a slight change in course to test a theory. I don't think it's coincidence that the two Vulcans on our ship nearly dropped dead the moment we arrived here."

"Jim, that's ridiculous. You can't honestly believe that the black hole has anything to do with this. It just doesn't make any medical sense."

"Neither does what's happening."

"We've been near the black hole with Spock before..."

"Right, before he was sick. I'm not taking any chances, Bones, I'm getting us out of here."

Bones simply nodded in silent agreement and went back to stabilizing Saavik as best he could. Kirk stalked out into the hallway and tried to guess where Uhura and Spock would go. His first thought was that they would go back to their quarters, but then he had a different idea. Not far from medical bay was the ceremonies room where the two had been wed.

Acting on a hunch Kirk headed off in the direction of the ceremony room. He stepped into the entrance way and found the pair exactly where he thought they would be. Outlined in the floor to ceiling window they sought solace in one another's company. They had their arms wrapped around each other's waists. Uhura had her face hidden in Spock's shirt, but Kirk could see from the way her shoulders shook slightly that she was crying.

Spock had one shoulder leaning against the thick glass to help support himself and was staring out at the streaking colours of Warp speed. Kirk gave them a few more minutes before walking further into the room. He stopped about ten feet away, still thinking that he should turn back and leave them alone.

"Spock?"

Spock turned his head slowly to face the Captain. Kirk couldn't decide what was more disturbing the new green hue of the Vulcan's eyes or the look of hopeless defeat in them. Spock simply stared at Kirk, waiting for him to speak. Finding himself speechless Kirk stepped up to the pair and put his hand on Spock's shoulder.

Still staring silently at the Captain emerald tears of blood slipped down Spock's face. Feeling the suddenly sticky wet on his cheeks Spock reached up. Smearing the blood on his face he pulled his hand away and stared down at the condemning stain on his fingertips. Holding Uhura closer Spock looked up at Kirk with a blank expression.

"Jim...perhaps now would be a good time for me to teach you the answers to the questions my son may have."


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty-two

Uhura walked silently next to Spock as they made their way back to their quarters. The Captain had first requested that Spock report to sick bay and stay there. When Spock refused he came close to making it an order. Making his feelings clear Spock announced that he would resign from Star Fleet if that was what it was going to take to keep from being confined to a hospital bed. Kirk had back down, but only because he knew he couldn't win.

Spock had stopped into medical long enough to clean the blood from his face and check on Saavik. The other half Vulcan was not doing well and even locked in sleep she whimpered and fought for every breath. It didn't escape Uhura's notice the way that McCoy hovered over Saavik. He had even snarled at Chapel when the nurse had tried to tend to the deep cut that slashed through his temple.

While in the hallways Spock walked at a confident pace, his hands held behind his back as though nothing was wrong. The moment the door to their quarters closed behind them he dropped to his hands and knees. Uhura knelt down next to him and put her hand between his shoulder blades. When he glanced at her to give her a reassuring smile Uhura couldn't help the way she flinched at seeing his unnatural green eyes. He quickly looked away and closed his eyes as he took a few deep breaths.

"Spock..."

"Do not worry, I simply need a moment."

"How can I not worry?" Uhura demanded. "You're clearly in pain."

"Pain is a construct of the mind, the mind can be control, and therefor pain can be controlled."

To prove his point Spock got back to his feet. Anubis trotted over to the pair and started weaving around their legs. Ignoring the cat Spock took a moment to get his bearings and took a few hesitant steps towards the bed room. Anubis wasn't making things anything easier by tangling himself in Spock's feet.

"Nyota, will you please guide me to the bed?"

"Why are you keeping your eyes closed?"

"Because I know their colour upsets you."

"I'm just afraid of what it means. Please open them."

Spock hesitated, but eventually he nodded and opened them once more. Uhura put her hand under his jaw and turned him to face her. She stared into his bloodied eyes to try and prove to him that she accepted them and that he didn't need to hide them. Spock leaned in and gave her a quick kiss.

"You have such courage, Nyota."

Uhura smiled and rested her forehead against his chest for a moment. The longer Spock remained standing the more he lost his ability to win the internal war he was fighting. Noticing that he was about to fall again Uhura took his hand and brought him over to the bed. Spock laid down and snatched Uhura's wrist to pull her onto the bed as well.

Despite being weak Spock wrapped his arms around her in a powerful embrace. Uhura giggled as he nuzzled her neck affectionately. She felt privileged that he allowed her to see this side of him. Even before he had fallen ill when they were in the privacy of their quarters Spock had always allowed himself to be a little more human. The rarity of his emotional displays made them that much sweeter.

"Spock?"

"Yes?"

"What made you first trust me?"

"What do you mean?"

"When we originally met you were so..."

"Vulcan?" Spock supplied.

"Exactly. What made you take a chance on me with that first unexspected kiss?" Uhura asked. "It wasn't exactly logical, in fact as my superior at the Academy it could have lead to all sorts of problems for you if I had reacted differently. I could have had you thrown out of the Academy."

"Yes, you could have." Spock nodded. "In fact for a moment afterwards I was sure that you were going to condemn me to that fate."

"I was just surprised, I'd been trying so hard to resist the urge myself that when you started it I couldn't believe my luck." Uhura smiled. "Wait...did you read my mind to know what my reaction might be?"

"No. I would never enter another person's thoughts without permission."

"Then why did you do it? Why take such an illogical risk?"

"Because I am half human and for a split second I couldn't control that half."

"Human instinct is a powerful thing, isn't it?" Uhura giggled.

"I struggle with it everyday."

Spock had been serious, but at the same time he still had a touch of mirth in his voice. Uhura pounced on him. Straddling him she engaged him in a deep kiss. A sudden strong metallic taste caused Uhura to jerk way from Spock in alarm. She rubbed the back of her hand across her lips and stared at the green blood that covered her hand. Spock looked up at her in horror. Blood dripped from the corner of his mouth.

"Nyota, I'm so sorry."

"It's okay." Uhura said softly as she leaned in to continue the gory kiss.

"No." Spock turned his face away.

"I don't mind, really."

"I do."

Defeated Uhura rolled off Spock and sat on the edge of the bed. Spock got up and disappeared into the washroom. Uhura closed her eyes against her tears as she listened to him retching. A few minutes later he returned with his face washed clean. Walking unsteadily back to bed he laid back down.

"Nyota?"

"I'm here."

"May I ask a favour of you?" Spock asked quietly.

"Anything."

"Would you sing a song for us."

"Us?"

Spock reached out and gently placed on Uhura's lower stomach. She flushed in embarrassment, she had been so focused on her own problems that she had nearly forgotten that she carried another life. Uhura put her hand over Spock's and pressed it harder against her stomach.

"I would love to." Uhura answered.

"I am afraid that I am too weak to accompany you with the lytherette."

"I understand."

Still fighting tears Uhura began signing one of Spock's favourite songs. He couldn't even understand the words since they were in Swahili, but he loved the melody above all others. Uhura had never told him that the song was a tale about a young man who went to sacrifice himself to a lion to save his family only to be double crossed by the Pride. Unable to find the lion who had promised to take only him he returned to the village to find everyone had been taken by the hungry cats.

It was a sad tale, but Spock didn't know that. He only knew that the beautiful language it was in soothed him. As she continued the song she watched Spock struggle to stay awake. As the song ended he seemed to drift off into sleep. She finished the song even as his breathing slowed visibly.

Once she was done Uhura softly stroked his cheek with the back of her hand. When Spock made no response she assumed that sleep had truly taken him. It was late, however, Uhura knew she couldn't sleep right now. Anubis jumped up on the bed and curled up next to Spock and began purring.

"Keep an eye on him for me, Anubis." Uhura whispered.

Anubis half opened his eyes and looked up at Uhura briefly before snuggling closer to the sleeping Vulcan. Uhura got to her feet and paced back and forth in indecision for a moment. Taking a deep breath she left the room and headed down to medical.

The mess that had been made earlier by Saavik had been cleaned up. In the later hours the medical bay was mostly abandoned. Uhura walked in quietly as though she wasn't supposed to be there. There was a familiar face paced beeping that Uhura knew was a heart monitor that was announcing Vulcan readings.

Making her way towards the sound Uhura looked in through the archway into a private room. Saavik laid in the medical bed still locked in an unnatural sleep. Dr. McCoy had pulled a chair up next to the bed to watch over her. At some point exhaustion had gotten to him. He'd laid his head down in his folded arms on the edge of the bed and fallen asleep.

Glancing at the medical cabinet in the room Uhura tip toed around the sleeping doctor. Holding her breath she opened the supply cabinet. She read the labels on the vials until she came to the one she was looking for. She reached out to take the small glass vial, but found herself hesitating to actually steal it. Pulling her shoulders back to force herself into action she took the bottle and closed the cupboard. She slipped her prize into her pocket and went to leave.

"Uhura?"

Uhura had just made it to the archway when McCoy's sleepy voice had called out to her. She turned around to face him and forced a smile. The doctor looked concerned and pushed himself to his feet.

"Is Spock alright?" Bones asked.

"He's sleeping right now, but earlier he was spitting up blood."

"It's that damned Vulandin, it's poison." McCoy growled. "It might be keeping him emotionally stable, but the price is so high."

"What if..." Uhura hesitated. "What if he stopped taking it, just long enough to gain some strength?"

"I've already suggested it, I think it would give him more time." Bones sighed. "However, he refuses."

"Why?"

"Because he's a stubborn green blooded, pointy eared basta..." Bones stopped suddenly. "I'm sorry, Uhura. I think Spock is more afraid of facing his emotions than he is of facing death."

"What about Saavik?" Uhura asked. "Is she going to be okay?"

"I can't tell for sure yet, but it would seem that whatever Spock has she's suffering from it as well, only in a far more rapid progression than anything we've seen with Spock." Bones looked back at Saavik. "I tried to help, I swear...she was so certain that she was safe."

"Safe?"

"There have been no female cases, until now." McCoy sounded so tired. "Do you need me to come see Spock?"

"No." Uhura shook her head. "I just came down to see how Saavik was doing."

"That was nice of you."

"She saved Spock's life."

"True, I hope I can help return the favour."

Uhura got the feeling that McCoy was feeling guilty about Saavik's condition, but she couldn't figure out what would make the doctor think he was to blame. Bones returned to Saavik's bedside and went over the information that the monitors were giving him. Dragging his hands through his hair he made a noise of pure frustration.

"I can't make heads or tails of these readings." Bones growled to himself. "If there is anything more infuriating that a half human Vulcan...it's a half Romulan one."

"Doctor?"

"Sorry...I'm alright." Bones sighed. "I'm trying everything I can think of to save your husband."

"I know you are. Thank you."

"Try to get some sleep Uhura, it's important for your health and the baby's."

"I'll try."

"See that you do, doctor's orders."

Uhura smiled and turned to leave. She heard McCoy sighing sadly as she left. She walked back to quarters with a bit of a rush to her steps. Once back in her room she became more nervous rather than relaxed. Acting like a thief she crept into the bedroom to see if Spock was still asleep.

Spock was not only asleep but looked to be fully passed out. Uhura walked past the bed and into the washroom where she closed the door behind her. Opening the mirror cabinet she carefully brought out the hypo full of Vulandin that Spock used. Clicking the vial of Vulandin off the hypo she poured the light blue liquid down the sink. Bringing the bottle out that she had taken from medical out she replaced the fluid with one that wasn't quite as blue. She put the hypo back together again and put it back in the cabinet.

"I'm sorry Spock...I can't just watch you die."


	24. Chapter 24

NOTE from the PHOENIX: If anyone wants to see what Spock looks like with green eyes, surf on over to my 'homepage'. I just finished a promo painting for this story. *End of shamless self promotion*.

Chapter Twenty-four

"Dr. McCoy?"

Bones jerked awake and instantly regretted doing so. Every joint in his body ached and his gashed temple throbbed painfully. He forced one eye open and stared up at Nurse Chapel who was looking down on him in concern. Closing his eyes again he scratched behind his ear, jolting in surprise when he felt the point that still adorned it. Taking a moment to get his bearings McCoy realized that he was laying on the floor.

"Are you alright, Doctor?"

"I'm fine, Nurse." Bones replied as he sat up. "Just a late night."

"Perhaps you should let Dr. Niffon take this shift."

"No, I'm alright." Bones shook his head to clear it.

Bones refused Chapel's hand for help to his feet. He didn't even remember falling asleep. The last thing he could recall was talking to Uhura, but he wasn't even sure if that had actually happened or if it had been a particularly vivid dream. Once up he glanced at Saavik's readings. The half Vulcan was still locked in sleep.

"Nurse, how are those readings compared to your average Vulcan? They seem high compared to Spock's"

"For an average Vulcan they're not so great, for an average Romulan they're even worse."

"Really?"

"Romulus is not as harsh a world as Vulcan was, their vitals are not as extreme as a Vulcans."

"I wonder if that has anything to do with her sudden and violent reaction."

"Perhaps, Doctor." Chapel nodded.

"Alright, thank you, Nurse. I'm on emergency status, anything below the triage level of a severed artery or Airgolian Rabies make someone else take care of it."

"Yes, Doctor."

Chapel took one last glance at Saavik with a worried expression before leaving. McCoy felt her concern, the half Vulcan looked more than half dead. He walked up to her bedside and she started to fight to regain consciousness. For a moment she tugged against the restraints they'd placed on as a precaution. However she quickly settled into simply whimpering like a child having a nightmare.

"I'm so sorry, Saavik...if I had known."

Bones reached out and brushed a lock of her dark curly hair off her face. Saavik reacted well to the contact and although she was still panting for breath she discontinued the quiet cries. Trying to ease her distress further McCoy brushed her temple.

'Let me go! I have to try!'

McCoy gasped and pulled his hand away from Saavik, having sworn that he'd heard her voice ring out in his mind. After a few moments of hesitation he reached out and repeated the contact to see if it would happen again. This time nothing happened. McCoy sighed heavily and shook his head sadly.

"Bones?"

"Jim..." Bones replied with a jolt "you startled me."

"Sorry about that." Kirk walked up to the opposite side of the bed. "How is she doing?"

"Honestly, I don't really know." McCoy admitted. "She's certainly not waking up, and I don't know if I should give her more Vulandin or not."

"And we're sure she has whatever Spock has?"

"No...no I'm not sure. Which is why I hate to risk her on the Vulandin."

"Is there anything I can do?" Kirk asked sympathetically.

"Nothing that you aren't already doing."

"Okay."

"Where are we going?" Bones asked with little interest.

"Right now, we're headed off towards Ciris."

"Why Ciris?"

"No real reason. Just working on putting distance between us and Vulcan."

"We can't run forever."

"Buying time is often the best bang for your buck." Kirk shrugged.

McCoy rolled his eyes slightly and chased the Captain out of sick bay. Going back into Saavik's room he paced back and forth for a few minutes. Before he could come to a decision on what to do next Saavik made a sickly wet gasping sound. Looking over McCoy saw that the heavy nosebleed had started once again and she was in danger of drowning in her own blood.

Rushing over Bones turned her head to the side so that the blood would drain out onto the bed rather than down her throat. Feeling like he no longer had a choice McCoy injected her with another dose of the caustic Vulandin. As before Saavik instantly calmed. Getting a cloth McCoy carefully cleaned the blood from Saavik's face. No longer indecisive he walked over to the intercom.

"Spock here."

"Spock, McCoy...I need to see you in medical."

"Doctor," Spock hissed "I have made my feelings about that quite clear."

"It's not about you, it's Saavik. I need to speak to you."

"Very well."

McCoy didn't have to wait long before Spock arrived. There was a noticeable difference in Spock's appearance. His previously shock green eyes had turned to more of a green tint over the white. Spock's gait held more strength to it, unlike the day before where it was painful obvious that he had to carefully plan out each step.

Stepping into the small private room Spock stopped short like he'd just run into a force field. Closing his eyes he took several deep breaths in through his nose. McCoy stepped closer in alarm when Spock's eyes fluttered open exposing only the green tinted whites. He looked like he had just inhaled a powerful drug.

"Spock?"

"What?"

Bones was a little taken aback by the cutting tone in Spock's voice. He had snapped out of the trance he'd been in and was now glaring at McCoy. Feeling increasingly uneasy Bones took a few steps away from his friend. Spock's eyes followed his every motion, but he said nothing.

"How are you feeling?"

"I thought this wasn't about me." Spock growled.

"It's not." Bones reached back and snapped a dark privacy field over the entranceway to the room. "A few days ago Saavik went into pon farr."

"I know...she reeks of it." Spock replied in disgust. "She should have warned me."

"She didn't know."

"Do not be foolish, Doctor. The dates on which pon far occurs are etched into our minds. It is not something a Vulcan, even a half Vulcan, forgets."

"Spock...are you sure you're feeling alright?"

"Doctor, please come to your point."

"Alright, you're right, even a half Vulcan knows when she should experience pon far, and according to Saavik it shouldn't happen for another two years."

"Impossible."

"That's what she thought. We came up with a theory that perhaps working so closely with so many male Vulcans exhibiting pon farr somehow affected her system, sent her into it early."

"It is a valid theory." Spock nodded. "In any case she will die without a mate since she has allowed it to go past the point where meditation could assist her. It may even be too late for that."

"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. She came to me with this problem five days ago..."

"Doctor, am I to understand that she was forced to take you as a mate already?" Spock hissed. "How dare you..."

"No, no, it's not like that." Bones said quickly. "She asked, but I didn't feel comfortable taking advantage of her situation. We both agreed to try and treat her pon farr medically. She had been working on a drug called Vulcine. Originally it was designed to reduce the symptoms of pon farr. I happened to have stolen a vial of it while on Natala. So we tried that first, it seemed to work...until this happened. I need to know if her symptoms now could be completely explained by pon farr or if you think the drug might have cau..."

"You didn't help her?" Spock demanded suddenly. "You left her to die because of your human morals surrounding sex? What kind of doctor are you?!"

"Whoa, wait a minute a second ago you were angry at me because you thought I had...wait...Spock did you take the Vulandin this morning?"

"Don't change the subject!"

"I'm not so sure that I am."

"Docto..."

"Spock, did you take the Vulandin?" Bones repeated.

"Yes!" Spock roared. "Of course I did!"

"Then why are you acting like this?"

"I...I do not know..."

Spock looked around the room frantically, as though seeking an escape. When he saw the dark force field that was in place he tensed as though he'd just noticed he was trapped. Bones glanced at the intercom and realized that he'd have to get through Spock to get to it. Spock was becoming visibly more agitated as the seconds ticked by. Bones stayed as still as possible to try and keep from upsetting Spock further. He feared that any provocation would send the powerful Vulcan into a rampage similar to the one that had landed Uhura in the sick bay.

"Spock, I'm your friend. You know that, right?" Bones ask gently.

"Yes." Spock answered vacantly.

"Then you know I only want to help you."

"Saavik..."

"Don't worry about her right now, she'll be alright. Trust me."

"I do."

"Please, lay down."

Bones held his breath waiting for Spock to move. Once Spock had realized that he was losing control of his emotions once more he had shut down. Fear reflected in his eyes as he stared sightlessly at nothing. Bones noticed the trembling that was seeping into Spock's frame as he stood otherwise motionless. Although he was just standing in one place it was clear that a war was raging beneath the surface.

"Spock, lay down." Bones repeated. "That's an order."

"No...no. No! You are doing this, you are killing us!" Spock accused as he jerked back. "You have always hated Vulcans."

"No...well, sometimes, but I'm often just as disgusted with humans as well." Bones admitted freely. "Spock, either something is wrong with your Vulandin or you're becoming resistant to it."

"You want me to take more to kill me," Spock insisted "an overdose...the perfect murder weapon."

"Spock, you're becoming delusional and paranoid. Whatever sickness you have it's growing worse by the second."

"No..." Spock took a few steps back until he bumped into Saavik's bed. "Stay away from me!"

"You need more Vulandin."

"No..." Spock shook his head like a stubborn child. "No, it is killing me."

"I know it is..."

Bones had chosen the wrong words. He could see his mistake in Spock's eyes the moment he had admitted that he knew the drug was dangerous. Spock's fear instantly turned to a lust for vengeance. McCoy only had time to take single step back before Spock pounced on him. With a majority of his strength restored Spock seized Bones by the throat with one hand and easily lifted him up off the floor.

Clawing at the hand holding him captive Bones gasped for breath. Unable to breath well he couldn't call for help. With murderous intent in his eyes Spock used his hold on the doctor to slam him into the wall. Fearing he'd soon pass out McCoy abandoned his attempts to release Spock's grip and put his hands on the Vulcan's chest.

Bones pushed weakly against Spock's chest as the edges of his vision blackened. He knew he didn't have the strength to physically move his attacker. However he hoped the desperate act would show Spock that he was killing his friend. The ploy did not work. Spock narrowed his eyes to icy slits and increased his painful grip.

A foot off the floor McCoy kicked at the wall that he was pinned against. Becoming dizzy from the lack of air McCoy's eyes rolled back to white. On the edge of blacking out Bones was suddenly dropped to the floor.

Drawing a sweet breath Bone looked up to see what had saved him. Spock had been dropped to his knees by Saavik who still had her hand on the place where Spock's neck and shoulder met. Her wrists were spattered in green where she had ripped herself free of the restraints.

Spock had been distracted from his prey, but Saavik had been unable to render him fully unconscious. He glared over his shoulder at her and bared his teeth. Ignoring her Spock went to assault Bones again. McCoy scrambled back at quickly ran into the wall. Spock went to swing his fist with bone crushing force only to have Saavik snatch his wrist in a vice like grip and arrested his attack.

"Release me, woman!"

"You are not yourself," Saavik replied calmly "look at what you are doing."

"He is trying to kill me!" Spock snarled.

"No, he is your friend. Equally important: he is a fellow Star Fleet Officer."

Spock tore his wrist free from Saavik and drew his hand back to strike her. She cowered slightly in a show of submission. Spock paused and looked at Saavik with indecision. She continued to stare him down and for a moment Bones felt that Saavik had successfully diffused the situation.

As Spock tried to find himself his eyes tracked back and forth rapidly. Bones slowly got to his feet and started inching his way towards the counter top that held several hypos. Saavik glanced at McCoy and shook her head 'no' in a tiny motion. After catching the doctor's motion in the corner of his eye Spock rose up to his full height and back handed Saavik hard enough to send her to the floor.

"Saavik!" Bones cried.

Spock whipped around and lashed out blindly at McCoy. Barely managing to stay clear of Spock's swing Bones grabbed the nearest hypo. When Spock came for him again it was with reckless abandon. He raised his fist high up over his head with intent of coming down with a fatal blow.

With no other options Bones welded the hypo like a knife and jabbed it into Spock's chest. Spock shrieked in pain and reared back. Clamping his hands down over his ears he screamed as though Bones had run him through rather than just given him a simple injection.

McCoy cursed himself for having put up the privacy shield that was keeping all the noise from the fray silent to any other ears. He had hoped the injection would bring Spock down, but it only increased his insane frenzy. However Spock no longer had any interest in Bones, his sole desire was escape.

Before Bones could get anything else into Spock's boiling blood the Vulcan was at the dark force field. It took him only seconds to use his own override code to drop the barrier. He fled sick bay at a surprising speed. Bones rushed to the panel and slammed his hand down on the button that sent the entire ship into red alert.

"Bones!" Kirk cried across the intercom. "What the hell is going on?"

"Spock's on the run and dangerous."

"Run? He could barely stand yesterday."

"Things have changed. Get down here."

"On my way."

McCoy heard the Captain ordering Security just as the intercom shut off. Bones looked down at the hypo he'd chosen in his rush and swore. Dropping the syringe he knelt down next to Saavik who was still on the floor. He lifted her up carefully and placed her back on the bed. Bones carefully inspected the bright green bruise that Spock had left across her cheek.

"Saavik? Damn it..."

Bones pulled back one of Saavik's eyelids and was greeted by a sightless glassy stare. Terrified that her life was slipping away he pressed his fingertips into her throat. He found her pulse to be strong. McCoy gave a slight sigh of relief. She had been knocked senseless, but she was still breathing. He smoothed out her hair, waiting for her to wake.

"Bones." Kirk entered breathing heavy from running down to medical. "Saavik..."

"She'll be alright." McCoy assured. "Jim, have they found Spock?"

"No. He knows this ship as well as anyone and he also knows exactly where security will look first."

"I don't think he's in the right frame of mind to be using any of his cunning. He's crazed, and I think I made it worse."

"How so?"

"I meant to give him a shot of Vulandin, but I grabbed Vulcine instead."

"What's Vulcine?"

"Something he didn't respond to well the last time someone pumped it into his blo..."

Bones was cut off as the entire room suddenly shifted violently as the ship jarred violently. Kirk ended up on the floor. McCoy had lashed out and griped the far edge of Saavik's bed to keep himself from flying and her from tumbling to the floor. Six different ship wide alarms rang out in distress. Bones helped Kirk back to his feet.

"Captain!" Scotty's voice cried over the intercom.

"Scotty, what the hell are you doing?!" Kirk demanded.

"It's not me, Sir. Someone just took over of the ship through auxiliary control and threw her into full reverse without thinking to stop first."

"Spock." Bones pointed out needlessly.

"Damage?"

"Plenty, Sir." Scotty replied. "However, the damage done is not the worst of it. The Warp drives are on full throttle and screaming like Banshees. Captain, the engines aren't meant to run this hot for very long."

"Well then shut them down."

"Can't, Sir. Auxiliary control has everything locked up...all the access codes have been changed. I could maybe bypass..."

"Do it." Kirk ordered without listening to the whole explanation. "Bones, just how dangerous is Spock right now?"

"Do you have to ask? He's trying to get us all killed."

"Point taken." Kirk nodded and turned back to the intercom. "Sulu."

"Here, Sir."

"Can you tell me where we're headed?"

"Full course turn around, Captain." Sulu informed.

"Back to the Vulcan black hole..." Kirk growled.

"No..." Saavik protested weakly. "Not to it...into it."

"Saavik, just lay still."

Bones put his hand on her shoulder to keep her down. She opened her eyes and looked around, completely disoriented. McCoy carded his hand into her hair to keep her from lolling her head back and forth and possibly aggravating her concussion. Saavik looked up at Bones with fear and panic glittering in her eyes.

"Captain." Saavik called.

"Right here. What were you saying?"

"Spock's intention is to drive the Enterprise directly into the heart of the Vulcan black hole."

"How do you know that?" Bones asked.

"Because it is his only thought...a thought so intense that I can hear it from here."


	25. Chapter 25

Note from the Phoenix: I have decided to submit this novel to Pocket Publishers (they publish all the Star Trek novels). I have found a Literary Agent to help me get my foot in the door (the hardest part). I know it's probably a bad idea...but I am going to continue to post while I look into getting accepted. So wish me luck! Maybe one day, if I'm lucky, I can offer autographed copies!

In the mean time enjoy this 'climax' chapter!! I also have new 'cover art' up on my homepage.

Chapter Twenty-five

"How much time do we have?" Kirk asked

"At this speed?" Scotty thought about the calculations for a moment. "An hour, hour and a half."

"What?" Bones demanded. "We've been traveling away from the black hole for over a day!"

"Yes, Doctor, at a sane speed, we are not going a sane speed at the moment." Scotty replied. "Plus ya can't just bring her to a dead stop at this point, there is also the fact that the black hole itself is going to be accelerating us the moment we get into the gravitational reach. The closer we get the faster and faster we're going to go. Although there's a good chance the engine will blow up before we even get there."

"We also need time to gain access to all the codes Spock's changed." Kirk said.

"I still don't see why your code doesn't override all of this, Jim."

"Because Spock's smarter than that."

"This is ridiculous," McCoy grumbled "I can't believe nothing has ever been put in place to safe guard against Spock being able to take over the whole bloody ship!"

"Bones, this is Spock we're talking about."

"So?"

"He's seen into my mind so many times he knows all my override codes, and he knows how to change them. It's not exactly a trait any other First Officer in the Fleet has, there was no way, and no reason, to guard against him."

"No reason?" Bones demanded. "The reason is behind that door speeding us all towards our deaths!"

"Granted."

"So what are we going to do?"

"Scotty can you cut through this door?"

"Aye, Sir, but it will take too much time." Scotty sighed.

"Okay, only one option then." Kirk clapped his hands together. "Scotty, beam us in there."

"Captain, beaming within the ship is...tricky. Particularly when we're at top Warp speeds. One slight miscalculation one way you'll beam into a wall, a miscalculation the other way and you'll miss the ship entirely."

"Scotty, you beamed us from a frozen planet onto the Enterprise when she was at Warp...you can do this."

"You do recall the part of that story where I almost drown in the cooling system, right?" Scotty asked.

"We're doing this."

"Alright, Sir, if you insist."

"I do. Come on, Bones."

"Oh joy." Bones sighed.

They turned away from the securely locked auxiliary control room door and headed towards the transporter room. Once there Scotty started making the complicated calculation it was going to take to get Kirk and McCoy into the control room in one piece. Kirk armed himself with a phaser locked to 'stun'. McCoy had a hypo of Vulandin that he wasn't so sure was going to be useful.

"Hurry up, Scotty." Kirk ordered as he stepped up on the transporter pad with McCoy following his lead.

"I'm hurrying as best I can, you want fast calculations you need Mr. Spock."

"Well beam us in there and I'll ask him for some."

After a few more minutes Scotty tapped the last of the equations into the transporter. It seemed illogical to Kirk that a device that could beam them down to a planet without a second thought would have such trouble with a distance of a few hundred yards. However, whenever he asked Scotty about the reasons the Head Engineer always launched into an impassioned speech that he never understood a word of.

"Okay, Captain." Scotty announced. "Ready."

"Energi..."

"Captain!" Uhura called as she rushed into the transporter room.

"Uhura, the ship is in red alert you need to be at your post."

"Captain, please, I can talk to him..."

"Nyota," Kirk said gently "there's no talking to Spock at this point. I'm sorry."

"This is my fault."

"You can't bla..."

"I switched out Spock's Vulandin with Teresosol."

"What? What's Teresosol?"

"A mild sedative," Bones answered "completely useless on Vulcans, it has no effect."

"Uhura, what were you thinking?" Kirk demanded.

"I was thinking that the Vulandin was killing him." Uhura said in a defensive tone. "I'm so sorry, I had no idea the change would happen so quickly."

"It doesn't matter now. Come on, Bones, we need to stop him, and this ship. Scotty, energize."

The short beam was a surprisingly rough ride. Kirk was struck by a powerful vertigo that dropped him to his hands and knees. The plan had been to be ready to take Spock down the instant they were in the control room so as to not give him a chance to attack. That plan had been completely ruined. Kirk expected the enraged Vulcan to kick him while he was down, but nothing happened.

"Remind me not to do that again." Bones moaned.

Kirk struggled to his feet and then helped McCoy stand. Once up the doctor's eyes widened in shock. He was staring over Kirk's shoulder with his jaw slightly dropped. Kirk turned around and instinctivly took a step back from the sight in front of him. The glass paneled wall was covered in streaking green blood.

At first all Kirk could see was the gore, but once the initial shock wore off he realized that it actually said something. It was a vast mathematical formula or equation of some sort. Hastily scrawled in the same kind of blood based finger painting as the Vulcan faces done by the artist in the depths of the complex on Natala. The symbols and numerics used reminded Kirk of the endless physics lessons at the Academy. He suddenly wished that he had paid more attention in those classes. Near the end of the floor to ceiling calculations the numbers had been smeared into an illegible streak of blood.

"What is this?"

"Either the ranting of a mad man, or pure genius." McCoy replied. "It's hard to tell which."

"I suppose it always is."

"So where's the author?" Bones asked nervously.

"He has to be here somewhere." Kirk glanced around the large room that was full of places to hide. "Listen...hear that?"

"Over there."

McCoy motioned with his head over to the far left corner of the room. There was a large control desk with a solid front panel that blocked the view underneath. From behind the sturdy structure came the sounds of a quiet heartbreaking weeping. Phaser in hand Kirk had McCoy hang back a few steps while he approached the source of the sound.

An unseen hand clamped down on Kirk's heart when he rounded the desk. He automatically lowered his phaser. Spock was cowering in the corner under the desk. He had his knees pulled up to his chest and his head buried in his crossed arms. Breathless with emotion the Vulcan trembled as he cried quietly to himself. Kirk had never seen anyone looking so lost and alone. Kirk felt McCoy coming up to stand next to him, and from the doctor's sad sigh he could tell that Bones was thinking the exact same thing.

"Spock..."

Spock jolted violently at the sound of Kirk calling his name. Jerking his head up he slammed it against the underside of metal desk. With his green tinted eyes wide with terror he pressed himself harder into the shelter of the desk. Trembling he stared at Kirk as though he was gazing at his murderer. Kirk realized that his own heat was racing. It felt like he had swallowed a live eel that was squirming around in his stomach, biting at him. Taking a step away he bumped into McCoy who reached up and put his hand on his shoulder.

"His emotions are effecting us, Jim. He's projecting them on our minds."

"I noticed."

"I know you don't want to, but I think it would be best for everyone if you stun him."

"You're right on both accounts."

Taking a deep breath to try and calm himself Kirk raised the phaser once more. Tears tainted with blood spilt down Spock's face as he watched his Captain aim the weapon at him. Turning his face away Spock weld his eyes shut and grimaced in anticipation of the painful bolt of energy. Kirk held the weapon ready to fire, but he was unable to press the contact to activate it. Battling with himself his panic grew.

"I can't." Kirk said as panted for breath.

"Jim, we're running out of time."

"I know, but at the same time we need his help to fix this."

Kirk holstered the phaser. He stepped closer and crouched down to Spock's level. Spock was curled up as small as he could manage with his eyes still shut tightly. Kirk risked reaching out and touching Spock's shoulder. Spock pierced the air with a terrified cry. Kirk felt an icy stab of fear lance up his arm and into his chest.

"Stay away from me!" Spock wailed.

"Spock, I'm not going to hurt you." Kirk said softly. "However, I need the codes to regain control of the ship."

"Stay back!"

"Spo..."

"You...you're a Vulcan," Spock looked up at Bones and his false pointed ears "You understand, you must. I had to try. I just want it to stop..."

"What do you want to stop?" Kirk asked.

"What do you want to stop?" Spock repeated as his eyes lost their focus.

"Spock?"

"Spock?"

"What are you doing?"

"What are you doing?" Spock parroted.

"Bones...any thoughts?" Kirk glanced up at McCoy.

"Bones..." Spock even repeated the pause perfectly "any thoughts?"

"It's called echolalia." Bones answered. "It's common in psychopathic disorders."

"It's called echololaia." Spock repeated vacantly. "Common in psychopathic disor..."

"Spock, stop it." Kirk ordered.

"Stop it? No...I can not. I can not stop it." Spock whispered. "It happens again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and agai..."

"Jim," Bones said as Spock continued to chant "he's lost it."

"...again, and again, and again, and again, and again, and..."

"Alright, give him as much Vulandin as you think safe."

"...and again, and again, and again, and again, and again..."

Bones took a cautious step closer, keeping the hypo hidden behind his back. Kirk slowly moved out of the way and brought out his phaser once more just in case. Spock didn't notice them, he continued to chant in monotone as he began rocking back and forth in time to his words. Taking a deep breath Bones struck with the speed of a serpent and managed to deliver the drug.

Spock arched back with a cry of agony. Bones and Jim both scrambled back, afraid that Spock was going to be sent into another dangerous rage. Far from making any moves to attack he fell onto his side before rolling over and pushing himself up onto his hands and knees. Kirk and McCoy watched helplessly as Spock dry heaved violently.

"My God, Jim...I've killed him."

"Not yet, just give him a minute."

"We don't have a minute. If we can't get that door open and get someone who knows what they're doing in here we are all going to die."

"I could use just a touch of optimism, Bones."

"I'm fresh out."

Kirk shot McCoy and irritated glare before turning his attention back to Spock. He seemed to be winning the war against his stomach. After a few deep breaths Spock shook his head to clear it. Crawling out from under the desk he got to his feet. He'd torn a patch out of his uniform where the insignia usually sat and had cut a deep gash into his chest over what in a human would be his heart. The still seeping cut seemed to be the likely source of blood for the writing he'd placed on the wall. He finally took notice of the others in the room and looked at them calmly with his heavily green blood shot eyes.

"Captain?"

"Spock, the codes, we need them."

"Codes?" Spock repeated. "I do not understand."

"Don't you remember? You seized control of the ship, and we are currently headed at Warp Insane back towards the Vulcan black hole. You changed all the codes, we can't access the computer."

Spock furrowed his brow in concentration as he tried to recall what had happened. Kirk held his breath, feeling as though he should be doing something more, but having no idea what that might be. He wasn't used to not being in control of his ship and the stress of that alone was enough to make him sweat. Spock reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose hard, closing his eyes he poured all of his concentration into remembering what he had done.

"Override 74...no, wait..." Spock recalled "override 84...76319Z3LMC7111979."

"Override accepted." The computer chimed. "Security reset."

"Scotty, you have control, stop this thing!" Kirk barked into intercom.

"Aye, Sir, already working on it." Scotty replied. "I must admit, Captain, we were starting to get nervous out here."

"Join the club." Bones muttered.

Kirk breathed a sigh of relief when he heard the background noise of the whining engines cool down and then stop completely. He bowed his head for a moment and simply closed his eyes. When he looked up again Spock was gone. Bones saw the flash of panic on Kirk's face and pointed over to where Spock had wondered off to.

With his hands held casually behind his back Spock was standing in front of the complex scribbling that he had placed on the wall. His eyes tracked the writing over and over again. Kirk and Bones stayed back letting Spock work out what the paintings meant on his own.

After about five minutes Spock turned around and started walking back towards the pair. He stopped half way there and reached down to pick up a small piece of blue cloth stained in his blood that was in a crumpled heap on the floor. Spock took a moment to retrieve his silver insignia from the cloth. He pinned it back to his ruined shirt as close to its original place as possible. Walking up to Kirk and McCoy he looked at each of them in turn.

"Gentlemen, I believe I have the answer to the Vulcan crisis."

"You do?" Kirk asked in surprise.

"Yes." Spock nodded. "It is not a disease."

"That's good." Bones said.

"Quite to the contrary, Doctor, we would be better off if it was a disease because in that case it could be cured."

"So what's happening?"

"The voices that I hear are not hallucinations as was previously thought." Spock explained calmly. "They are the confused and terrified cries of approximately six billion Vulcans."

"I'm sorry, I don't understand." Kirk admitted. "There are only like ten thousand Vulcan's left."

"You are correct. I am speaking of the Vulcans left on Vulcan."

"Woah, wait, a minute, Spock." Bones shook his head in disbelief. "You mean the dead? You're being...haunted to death?"

"Not exactly, Doctor."

"Spock, with all due respect: you're still out of your Vulcan mind." Bones said firmly.

"Bones..."

"Jim," McCoy countered "what Spock's saying makes no sense."

"It is actually perfectly logical and explains everything." Spock said evenly. "As a doctor you may understand life, but you have no concept of what is 'death'. Even your most sophisticated instruments can not tell you for certain when a man is dead or alive."

"Of course they can."

"No. They tell you if the organs are functioning, nothing more. However, there is more to a living being than chemical reactions."

"You're talking about the soul." Kirk said.

"That is the label humans have given it."

"Ridiculous." Bones huffed.

"The existence of a soul is logical." Spock insisted.

"How so?"

"It is a known fact that matter and energy can not be created nor destroyed. What makes an individual an individual is their energy, their 'soul'. Even if the body dies the energy can not be destroyed. If a Vulcan believes that they are about to die they can transfer their katra to another being."

"Katra?"

"The living spirit, the piece of the person that made them who they were, their 'soul'. Memories, dreams, ambitions, emotions...yes, Doctor, I said emotions. It took only minutes for Vulcan to be destroyed, most of the population had no idea what was happening. There was only panic, fear, death. The Vulcan black hole is so dense, so massive that nothing can escape its grip, not even the energy of the souls trapped within its dark heart."

"This is insane." Bones protested. "Spock you're delusional."

"I am not."

"Spock," Kirk said softly "there are some holes in your theory. I mean if nothing can escape..."

"How do I hear the voices?" Spock supplied. "The Vulcan mind meld does not work in the world of physics, thoughts are not subject to the laws of gravity. The physics and some of the metaphysics of the situation are written on the wall behind me in my own blood."

"Okay, say I believe all this...which I don't." Bones added. "Why only males in their prime?"

"Again, logic. Male pon farr affects the mind, it not only strips logic, but it makes it far more susceptible to external influence. A male entering pon farr instinctively returns to the lands of his Ancestors to claim his mate. He becomes a slave to her whim, if she demands that he fight to the death to prove himself he will kill his best friend even his own brother without a single thought. This physical change is greatest during the pon farr that occur in a Vulcan's prime. This is the same group that is being affected."

"So these Vulcan cries for help, they are always 'in the air' so to speak?" Kirk asked. "It's only when these changes occur that you can 'hear' these voices?"

"Yes. I can not explain exactly how their thoughts can so deeply impact my health, however, the pain, terror, and desperation of six billion voices can understandably be a difficult burden to bare. Particularly when you do not understand it."

"What about Saavik?" Bones asked. "She's not male and she's affected."

"You changed her when you treated her pon farr with the Vulcine. Even for me the Vulcine makes the voices louder, sharper, easier to understand. I recall it now. The first time they tried it on me I distinctly heard my mother crying out, terrified for my safety rather than her own."

"She wasn't a Vulcan." Bones pointed out needlessly.

"She still had a soul."

"I...I didn't mean it like that." McCoy apologized.

"I understand." Spock forgave the transgression. "This is the truth. This is what is leading to the death of my species. I am certain of it."

Spock stared at his friends with an unreadable expression on his face. Kirk looked over at the blood on the walls. He did not understand the stress-energy-moment tensor theories, the Einstein field equations, or any of the Vulcan physics that it expressed. What he did understand was that Spock was rarely wrong when it came to important matters.

"I believe him, Bones." Kirk said. "Spock's alternate self touched my mind and just his sorrow alone over the destruction of Vulcan was nearly enough to kill me."

"Alright." Bones sighed in defeat. "So what do we do next? What can be done about it?"

"Done?" Spock asked as he raised an eyebrow quizzically. "Nothing can be done, Doctor."

"There must be some way." Kirk pressed. "If we could release the sou..."

"No, Captain. Black holes are the most powerful force in the Universe, they can not be stopped, they can not be undone."

"How can you say that so coldly?" Bones demanded.

"I am not being cold, I am being logical."

"Spo..."

"The Vulcan species is lost, its very soul trapped forever."


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty-six

Uhura jerked awake with the taste of a nightmare stinging the back of her throat. Closing her eyes she took a few deep breaths to try and calm her racing heart. Still feeling anxious she rolled over to curl up next to Spock. However her hand only fell on empty cold sheets.

Sitting up in the darkened bedroom Uhura looked down at vacant space. Her heart skipped painful as she noticed the dark stain of dried blood on Spock's abandoned pillow. Uhura got out of bed, taking the sheets with her as a makeshift dress. The door between the bedroom and the living area was closed, which was very unusual.

Uhura hesitated to active the door, fearing what she might find on the other side. Swallowing hard she ran her fingertips over the panel that caused the door to silently slide open. Uhura bit down on her lower lip to keep herself from gasping. The far wall of their living room was covered in the bloody equations Spock had created in the auxiliary control room. The soft glow to the blood told her that it was merely an image being projected, but the sight was still gruesome.

Spock was standing a few feet from the wall, staring intently at it with his hands held casually behind his back. The black night pants he wore were now several sizes too large for him from his continued weight loss. The emerald glow of the image on the wall reflected off his pale skin further enhancing its green hue. His chest bore a large white patch that covered the deep gash he'd slashed into his own flesh.

Uhura didn't even have the strength for tears at this point. An unpleasant numb feeling had settled over her. Spock did not acknowledge that he was being watched even though Uhura was certain that he knew she was there. He continued to visually scan the complicated equations and formulas. Uhura hated seeing him lost in his own mind as he tried to solve a problem that she feared had no solution.

Unable to stand by any longer Uhura approached him. Spock remained absorbed in his reading. She waited for a few tense minutes for him to look at her. Uhura felt the knot in her stomach tighten as he persisted in ignoring her. Desperate for his attention, even if it meant facing his anger, Uhura reached out and brushed his shoulder. When he jerked as though startled she realized that he truly hadn't known she was there.

Not used to being snuck up on Spock looked confused for a moment. He looked at Uhura and a sad smile touched his lips. She forced a smile in return, but she knew that it didn't look genuine. Feeling heavy hearted she reached out and took Spock's hand and held it like it was an injured bird.

"Still seeking forgiveness?" Spock asked.

"Yes."

"I will not give it to you."

"Spock..."

"For there is nothing to forgive. You acted out of love not malice. I do not know what more I can say to you to ease your mind."

"I think I would feel better if you were angry at me."

"That is not logical."

"I know it isn't. It's a human thing, if you were angry at me I could get all defensive, and then I'd feel less guilty."

"I am sorry, Nyota, I do not understand that." Spock admitted. "I can not be angry at you, however, if you truly feel it would help perhaps the Captain would be more than willing to provide the anger. He is most protective of his ship."

"And I almost killed us all."

"Indirectly, but yes." Spock nodded. "Shall I call him? Waking him at this hour would add to his ire."

"I honestly can't tell if you're joking or not." Uhura sighed.

"I just want you to be happy."

"Then you'd better use that logical Vulcan mind of yours to find a way to save yourself."

"I am trying."

"Really?" Uhura asked hopefully. "I thought you said that it was hopeless, illogical to even try."

"I apologize, that was said in a moment of despair. It is never illogical to fight for life."

A true smile finally broke across Uhura's delicate features. She threw her arms around Spock's neck for a passionate kiss. What she hadn't realized was that Spock was using most of his strength to remain standing. Thrown off balance by the attack he ended up on the floor taking Uhura with him.

"Sorry about that." Uhura said with a sheepish grin.

"You are a most unpredictable creature."

"Just trying to keep you on your toes." Uhura giggled.

"On my toes? You have failed. I am no longer even on my feet."

Uhura rolled her eyes and kissed the confused Vulcan. Now that the pair was sitting on the floor Anubis decided that they must want him to join them. The cat rubbed against them, his tail held high. Siting in Spock's lap Uhura picked Anubis up and cradle him against her chest. Spock looked over her shoulder and reread the last portion of the writing on the wall for the hundredth time.

"It simply is not logical." Spock muttered.

"What isn't?"

"What I have written. The first half is known and proven equations. From there it degrades into nonsense; matter/energy equations that do not balance, dark matter radiation, theories that require anti-light..."

"Spock," Uhura interrupted "you can't expect this to make sense. You were out of your mind, you were driving us into a black hole, you wrote it in your own blood...of course it isn't logical. Why does that surprise you?"

"I suppose it should not." Spock sighed.

"They why won't you stop staring at it."

"Because there may be an answer here."

"Do you truly believe that?"

"No." Spock shook his head slightly. "However, I have no better place to begin searching."

"Do you think the Council will listen to you?" Uhura asked quietly.

"They can not deny me an audience. Even if they outwardly reject my theory, they will have heard it and in time they will come to the same conclusions that I have."

"What do you think they'll do about it?"

"I cannot say. Hopefully they have some wisdom that I do not possess."

"I doubt that." Uhura said bitterly.

"Do not judge them so harshly. At times it may be difficult to understand why they act the way they do, but remember that the Council has successfully guided Vulcan through thousands of years of peace whereas humans still continue to shed one another's blood."

"They tried to kill you."

"No, they were simply trying to help me against my will." Spock corrected.

"I..." Uhura hesitated "I still don't want you going back there."

"I will be safe. Now that they have direct orders from the Federation not to interfere with my obligations to Starfleet they will not detain me."

"I still don't see why you can't just send them a sub-space message."

"This is too important."

Uhura took a breath to protest further, however the look in Spock's eyes told her that the conversation was closed to any argument. Sighing she rested her head against his chest. His breathing was alarmingly quick and shallow. Spock lightly wrapped his arms around Uhura and held her close. Content to be between them Anubis began purring loudly in Uhura's arms. Uhura soon noticed that Spock's chest wasn't heaving as heavily as it had been a few moments ago.

"The cat does indeed affect me." Spock said suddenly.

"What?"

"You were just wondering why I was breathing easier."

"Reading my mind, eh?" Uhura teased.

"No. I was reading your body language."

"I'm just an open book to you, aren't I?"

"Not at all."

"Anubis really makes you feel better?" Uhura asked.

"Yes." Spock nodded. "The purring is a most pleasant sound. It seems to reduce my dangerously high blood pressure slightly."

Uhura smiled and looked down at the tawny colored bundle of fur in her arms. She started scratching under his chin. Anubis leaned his head back and doubled his purring efforts. Uhura heard Spock take a deep breath. She glanced up at him and found that he had returned his gaze to the writing on the wall.

Allowing Spock to slip into his world of thought Uhura turned her attention back to Anubis. He started kneading her with his padded feet as she continued to rub his short fur. Anubis opened his golden eyes halfway and looked up at her. Uhura smiled at him.

"Thank you for helping him." Uhura whispered to the cat.

"Nyota?"

"I was just talking to Anubis."

Uhura tried to keep her voice from becoming thick with tears, but she failed. Spock reached up and gently placed his fingertips against her temple. Uhura felt the vice grip that was squeezing down on her heart release its invisible grip. Entranced by Spock's touch she won her battle against her tears. When he released her she felt in far more control of her emotions.

"Thank you for giving me some of your courage."

"No, I simply reminded you of your own."


	27. Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty-seven

"You know, Spock, for a smart man...or whatever you consider yourself, you don't learn very quickly."

"Doctor?"

"The Vulcans aren't going to listen to you." Bones said pessimistically. "I know this a difficult concept to accept, but they don't like you."

"You are projecting human emotions on Vulcans once again, Doctor. The Council does not dislike me. They simply disagree with me, and the choices I made in life."

"They're just jealous that you chose us over them." Kirk chuckled. "Can't say I blame them."

"It was never a question of taking sides, Captain. I came to the logical conclusion that I could do the best good by serving in Starfleet."

"Right." Bones said skeptically. "Did you have a choice? Were the Vulcans even interested in letting you into their little club?"

"If by 'club' you are referring to the Vulcan Science Academy: yes, Doctor, I was accepted."

"And you said 'no'?" Bones asked in surprise.

"Obviously."

"He was the first to ever turn the honor down." Kirk added with pride.

"Man," Bones smiled "I would have loved to have seen the look on their smug Vulcan faces."

"Their expression did not change, Doctor."

"Not outwardly I'm sure, but I bet their knickers twisted right up into a knot."

"'Knickers'?" Spock repeated confused.

"Never mind."

Kirk smiled as he watched Spock continue to try and figure out the meaning behind the knickers comment. In preparation for going down to Natala Spock had dressed in the traditional dark robe like clothing of the native Vulcans. He had explained that it was out of respect for the Council, however, Kirk believed it was more about trying to hide his dramatic weight loss and weakness from the Council.

Scotty was waiting for them in the transporter room. He was kneeling down pounding on one of the circuit boards while cursing at it. Kirk walked up to the control panel. He looked over it, and down onto the busy engineer. Scotty continued to threaten the machine until he realized that he was being watched. Scotty jumped to his feet and smile brightly of faked innocents.

"Nothing, Sir." Scotty said quickly.

"Aren't you supposed to wait until I ask 'what's wrong?'" Kirk asked.

"Nothing's wrong, she's purring like a kitten."

"Scott," Bones interjected "you're giving me a panic attack over here."

"I assure you, Dr. McCoy, it's one hundred percent safe."

"Nothing is one hundred percent safe, Mr. Scott, even a glass of water can kill you if you don't handle it with the proper caution."

Scotty looked to the Captain to save him from the doctor. Kirk reached over and took Bones by the upper arm to guide him up onto the transporter pad. Kirk stepped on one himself. He knew that Spock had lagged behind, but chose to ignore the fact. He turned to Scotty with an expectant look on his face.

"Does it work?"

"Aye, Sir."

"Alright then, Scotty, let's get this show on the road." Kirk ordered and then looked to Spock. "You joining us, Spock?"

"Captain, it was my understanding that I was to beam down alone."

"I guess there's been a misunderstanding. Bones, and I are coming with you."

"I appreciate your concern," Spock said "however, I do not require a chaperone, Captain."  
"We're going with you." Kirk said firmly. "I have a few words for the Council myself."

"Captain, please..."

"I think I see some fear in his eyes, Jim." Bones teased. "What's the matter, Spock? Afraid we'll embarrass you?"

"Embarrassment is a human problem."

"Then there's no harm in us tagging along." Kirk smiled brightly. "Let's go, Spock. This is not up for debate we are going with you, end of story."

Spock stood his ground at first, but when the Captain didn't back down he accepted the companionship. Spock joined the other two on the transporter pad. Kirk gave Scotty the word and they were beamed down to the planet below. The ride wasn't rough, but the landing was. They materialized about a foot from the surface of the rocky world. The unexpected drop threw the trio to the ground in an unceremonious heap.

"Damn it, Scotty!" Kirk barked into his communicator.

"Sorry, Captain. I...uh...I'll have that fixed by the time yer ready to come back aboard."

"See that you do." Kirk growled. "Everyone alright?"

Spock sat up and licked a touch of green off his lips before attempting to get to his feet. Seeing him struggling to stand Kirk got up himself and offered his hand to help Spock stand. To Kirk's surprise Spock actually accepted the assistance. Looking a little off balance once up Kirk put his hands on Spock's upper arms to steady him. Once he was oriented again Spock took a step back.

"Thank you, Captain."

"Don't mind me...I'm fine." Bones grumbled.

"What's wrong, Bones?" Kirk teased. "Break your hip?"

"I'm not that old."

Kirk chuckled and helped Bones stand. The three men spent a moment removing the light colored sand of Natala off their clothing. Bones had a small abrasion on his palm, but other than that no true damage had been done. Kirk looked around at the rocky desert landscape. Natala didn't have the same natural beauty that Vulcan once had. Even if the landscape wasn't as spectacular he could see why it had been chosen.

"Ugh," Bones pulled at the collar of his dress uniform "it's a zillion degrees here."

"The current temperature is ninety-six point three degrees fahrenheit." Spock corrected. "A mild day on Natala."

"At least it's a dry heat." Kirk shrugged. "We'd better get walking."

Kirk allowed Spock to lead the way into the city. They had landed just on the outskirts of the mostly empty city and were quickly within its streets. Kirk looked around at the buildings that he knew were just empty shells and began to feel uneasy. Spock never so much as glanced to either side. A man on a mission he marched directly towards the heart of the Vulcan city.

It was late in the afternoon and the few Vulcans they came across minded their own business, with one exception. Kirk noticed a beautiful young Vulcan female walking down the steps from the Council Hall. When she looked up and caught sight of Spock she froze in her tracks and narrowed her eyes slightly.

Kirk was expecting Spock to at least acknowledge the woman who was now standing in their path. However, Spock deviated from his course enough to get around her without risk of contact. She stared forward the entire time as they passed by. Kirk looked back over his shoulder to see if she was watching them, but she had continued on her way.

"Spock, who was that woman?" Kirk asked.

"She is T'Pring."

"T'Pring?" Kirk asked in shock, having remembered the name. "Uhura seemed to think that you and T'Pring were somehow...involved."

"She was to be my wife."

"I see. How did you two meet?"

"Through the political arrangements of our families at the age of seven."

"She didn't look too happy to see you." Bones invaded the conversation.

"I have caused her dishonor by selecting a different mate. It was not my right to do so."

"Does she still want to marry you?"

"No, it was never her intention to do so."

"Then where's the problem?"

"Since Kal-if-fee is now outlawed there is no true problem. However if Vulcan were still in existence the current situation would have denied her the right to force me to fight to the death for her."

"Wait a minute," Bones shook his head "let me see if I have this correct. T'Pring is mad at you because under a different set of circumstances she would have been robbed of the right to make you kill for her?"

"Or die."

"That's crazy."

"It is Vulcan tradition."

"It's still crazy!" Bones insisted. "I thought your people were supposed to be all about peace and logic. Where's the logic in killing one another over a woman?"

"Humans kill over less important matters all the time." Spock pointed out. "However, Doctor, you are correct. There is nothing logical or peaceful about pon farr, it is simply the way things are."

"The galaxy is not always a logical place." Kirk joined in.

Spock seemed to accept this and continued through the large archway that lead into the Council Hall. Bones made a low whistle to show he was impressed by the large floating stone statues that dominated the front room. As they walked past Kirk couldn't help but to reach out and touch one of the statues. Before he made contact with the stone Spock gently took a hold of his wrist and stopped him.

Kirk turned to apologize, but Spock was already walking ahead towards the elevated front desk. The Vulcan on duty directed them to the main audience chamber where the Council was already waiting for them. Spock walked down the hall with purpose, but just before he reached the archway that would lead into the chamber he stopped. Closing his green stained eyes he leaned his back against the wall.

"Are yo..."

Spock held his hand up to stop Kirk from completing his question. There were Vulcan ears in the next room that could hear everything. Kirk and Bones exchanged a worried glance while Spock took a few deep breaths. Snapping his eyes open Spock pushed himself away from the wall and pulled his shoulders back. Kirk doubted that the Vulcan Council was going to be as easy to fool as the crew of the Enterprise. They would instantly see how sick Spock had become.

Willing to help Spock try and keep up appearances Kirk acted as though nothing was wrong. Spock walked into the large audience hall with Kirk and McCoy close behind. Kirk glanced up at the Council members in their place high above the floor. It irritated him that anyone who wished to speak to the Council was forced to look up at them. Kirk was reminded of the courts systems of Earth's past where the judge sat at their elevated desks with the defendants at their feet.

The Council was made up of the High Councilor Ilion, who Kirk recognized from Starbase 17, Councilor Ry'lin, two older male Vulcan's that he did not recognize, and two females as well. Although not an official member of the Council Ambassador Tek'tiel was among the Vulcans on the high bench. Spock walked up to a golden rail that let speakers know where to stand. Stopping a few feet away from it he placed his hands behind his back. Kirk and Bones stepped up and stood at either side of him.

"Council," Spock greeted "thank you for convening."

"Spock, we can not deny you an audience, but these outworlder..."

"They are not just outworlders, they are my friends." Spock dared to interrupt. "More importantly they are representatives of Starfleet and the Federation."

"This is highly unusual." Ilion said.

"These are unusual times, Councilor Ilion."

"Gentlemen," Kirk interjected "let's not waste time exchanging unpleasantries. We are here because Starfleet has made assisting Vulcan in this crisis the Enterprise's top priority."

"We do not require your assistance, Captain James T. Kirk. However, we accept your attendance."

"Thank you Councilor." Kirk gave the Vulcan a slight bow.

"Spock," Ilion said "I see from your eyes that you are gravely ill. Do you wish to sit down?"

"No, Councilor, I have strength enough to stand."

"As you wish. Why have you returned? From the nature of your departure we find this action of yours highly illogical."

"I wish only to share with you what I have learned."

"You felt you could not share this information in a sub-space message?"

"I believed that I would be taken more seriously if I addressed you in person." Spock replied evenly.

"I see."

Kirk wondered if Spock had just insulted the Councilor. There was a tension in the meeting that made him physically uncomfortable. Despite living their lives by logic there was no denying the emotions that ran under the surface like a black river hidden deep in a cavern. Spock kept his eyes locked on Ilion, waiting for permission to proceed. Ilion forced Spock to wait several minutes before giving him a slight nod.

"Council," Spock addressed them all "I come before you today because I have reason to believe that I understand the cause behind the Vulcan Sickness."

Kirk had expected the Council to interrupt Spock at this point, but they remained silent. Ilion had even leaned forward slightly, which Kirk took as a sign of true interest.

"During a recent visit to the Vulcan black hole myself and half Vulcan Saavik were struck by far more intense symptoms than had been previously experienced. The fact that Saavik as a female was affected is further proof to the strength of the event."

"And what event was this?"

"Nothing more than a proximity to the black hole during an episode of pon farr."

Councilor Ilion's nostrils flared slightly at the mention of pon farr and for the first time his eyes flickered onto the human guests. Kirk knew that pon farr was a sensitive subject among the Vulcans, but he was still surprised by the flash of indignity that had burned in Ilion's eyes. Spock did not appear to care one way or the other if Ilion was affronted by the subject matter and continued.

"As you know during this time a Vulcan's extra sensory perception is enhanced, driving him to return home, forcing him to seek a mate."

"Spock, if your outburst has a point, please see that you come to it quickly." Ilion interrupted. "We do not require a biology lesson."

"My apologies." Spock bowed his head slightly. "Council, this sickness is not a disease, it is a reaction to the psychic cries of the Vulcans lost in the catastrophe that ended our world. The voices that victims of the sickness hear are not hallucinations."

"Spock, the katra of a Vulcan must be transfered into a living being if it is to carry on. Even in the event of such a transfer that person does not live on as their own being with their own thoughts. It is the essence and knowledge that survive."

"I understand. However, this is not just the death of a single Vulcan. I speak of the death of billions in a single instant." Spock clarified. "We must investigate the possibility that an intelligent life force of the Vulcan people exists in the confines of the black hole that captured them."

"Even if such an event occurred, it is not logical that the resulting entity would reach out and destroy the rest of us."

"Not on purpose. The voices I hear are confused, jumbled, frantic, terrified, they do not understand what has happened and therefore they certain do not understand what they are doing."

"Are you requesting that the Council take steps to open our minds to this phenomenon?"

"No." Spock replied quickly. "I fear that any attempt to contact the entity in the black hole by such means would only lead to instant suffering from the Sickness, as seen in Saavik."

"Then how do you propose we proceed?" Ilion asked.

"I do not have a recommendation for the Council. I came to share with you the information I have gathered."

Ilion thought about this for a moment and nodded. The High Councilor turned to Ry'lin and they held a whispered conversation. Kirk held his breath, hoping that the Council believed Spock and would take action. It wasn't long before Ilion returned his attention to Spock.

"We appreciate the report, Spock." Ilion said sincerely. "However, we have already found a strategy for the Vulcan species to survive this crisis."

"You have a cure?" Kirk asked without thinking.

"In our own way." Ilion replied cryptically.

"Are you going to help Spock?" Bones demanded.

"We cannot." Ilion replied.

"Why you green blo..."

"Doctor, please." Spock interrupted quickly. "I do not believe that Councilor Ilion is suggesting that the Vulcans have discovered a cure."

"Then how..."

"Do not question the Council further." Spock said.

"Spock," Kirk started.

"Captain, trust me."

McCoy was about to tell the Vulcan Council exactly what he thought about them, but Kirk stopped him. He knew that where the Vulcans were concerned it was best to follow Spock's advice. In fact when he thought about it it was always good practice to follow the half Vulcan's advice. Spock thanked the Captain silently and turned back to Ilion.

"Councilor Ilion," Spock said in a humble tone "if my wife bears a son, will you offer him this treatment when he comes of age?"

"Yes."

"Thank you, and thank you for your time."

"You are welcome, Spock." Ilion held his hand out in the Vulcan salute. "Live long, and prosper."

"I will try."

Spock returned the full handed salute and bowed deeply. Straightening out again Spock almost lost his balance backwards. Kirk lashed out and pressed his hand against Spock's lower back to help him regain his stability. Spock only took a moment to compose himself and instantly turned to leave.

Kirk and Bones followed Spock out of the room and then down the hall. Both men were dying to ask what the last five minutes were all about. However, it was clear that Spock was desperate to return to the Enterprise. He stumbled in his quick stride several times on his way through the city. Kirk was there each time to make sure that Spock didn't fall to his knees.

It wasn't until they were back out in the rocky desert that Spock finally stopped his forced march. In a half controlled move he sat down in the sand and spent a few moments catching his breath. Kirk and McCoy sat down with him and waited for Spock to gather his strength. When he spoke his lips were stained with bright green blood.

"I apologize for interrupting you in front of the Council, Captain."

"It's alright."

"I required a great favor from them, and did not wish to be dismissed before I could ask."

"Your son," Kirk noted "you asked them to treat your son."

"Yes."

"Why won't they treat you?" McCoy asked darkly.

"Because it is too late for me."

"I don't understand." Kirk admitted.

"The Vulcans must have developed a safe drug that arrests pon farr." Spock explained.

"Stop pon farr?" Bones asked.

"It is logical."

"How so?" Kirk asked.

"If you cannot diffuse a weapon, remove the trigger."


	28. Chapter 28

NOTE from the PHOENIX: I am going to be out of town starting Wed. I do not know if I will be able to update while I'm gone. So if you don't see more for a week it is because I'm off the grid, but I will return!

Chapter Twenty-eight

"Scotty?"

"Aye, Captain?"

"You got that transporter fixed yet?"

"Aye, Sir."

"Good, two to beam up."

"Two?" Scotty questioned.

"Yes, Mr. Spock is staying on the surface for a few days."

"That seems a little odd..."

"Just do it, Scotty."

"Aye, Sir."

Scotty followed orders and beamed up Kirk and McCoy. Materializing on the transporter pad Kirk looked around. He was always relieved to return to the ship, no matter how short the trip. When Bones hesitated to leave the transporter Kirk took him by the upper arm and lead him into the hall. McCoy glanced around to make sure that no one was listening in on them.

"How long are we going to wait, Jim?"

"Relax, Bones. Let's get something to eat."

"Eat? How can you think of eating at a time like this?"

"Easy," Kirk shrugged as he continued down the hall "I just listen to my stomach."

"You need to go talk to Uhura."

"No thank you, she's going to kill me."

"Damn right she's going to kill you, then she's going to hunt me down!" Bones hissed. "I can't believe Spock talked us into this. It's madness! Stubborn pointy-eared bastard."

"I was just so proud that he used the term 'call in a favor'." Kirk beamed.

"How can you be so jovial?"

"Because I don't know what else to do." Kirk sighed. "I'm powerless here, Bones, and if I think about it too much I'm going to go just as insane as Spock."

"Go tell Uhura." McCoy insisted.

"Bon..."

"Jim, she deserves at least a part of the truth."

"You're right." Kirk admitted. "If I'm not back in half an hour...say something nice about me at my funeral."

McCoy was not amused by the joke and just stared at Kirk in disapproval. Used to the look Kirk turned around and headed towards Spock and Uhura's quarters. Standing outside her door he took a deep breath. As Captain he shouldn't have to explain his actions to her, however, as Spock's wife she had every right to demand information. Kirk passed his hand over the indicator that would let her know she had a visitor.

"Come in."

With Uhura's permission the door slid open. She was sitting on the small couch in the living area with Anubis on her lap. She had brushed away her tears, but he could tell she had been crying. Kirk noticed sadly how much she had changed over the past month. Much of her confidence and defiance was gone, replaced by anxiety. When she saw who her visitor was she jumped to her feet, dumping Anubis on the carpet. Annoyed the cat stalked away.

"Captain."

"Uhura." Kirk greeted softly. "Sit back down, you don't have to stand on my account."

"Where's Spock?"

"Spock decided to spend a few days on Natala."

"What?" Uhura gasped. "And you let him?"

"Uhura, you know better than I do that when Spock puts his mind to something there is no stopping him."

"I don't understand. Why is he staying? Did the Council ask him to? You know they can't be trusted."

"Spock is perfectly safe."

"That's what you said the last time and just look at what they did to him!"

"I know." Kirk pinched the bridge of his nose against a growing headache. "This wasn't my idea, Uhura."

"You are the Captain, you could have said 'no'."

"I tried."

Uhura stared him down for a moment. Kirk held his breath, unsure of what she was going to do next. Uhura waited for Kirk to explain himself further and when he didn't she took a step towards the door. Kirk automatically moved to put himself between her and the exit and she froze in place.

"You can't go down to Natala." Kirk said having read her intentions.

"I have every right to be with him."

"He doesn't want you there."

Kirk regretted his phrasing. He doubted he could have done any more damage if he'd walked up and slapped her. Looking understandably betrayed Uhura took a few steps back until she bumped into a shelf along the far wall. When her eyes began to brighten with tear she turned her back on the Captain.

"Uhur..."

"Get out."

"Uhura, please, just trust..."

Kirk was cut off as Uhura turned around and whipped a small glass statue at him. He ducked just in time for it to slam into the closed door behind him where it shattered. The woman who had once kicked him out of her dorm room was suddenly back.

"Nyo..."

"I said 'get out'! Sir." Uhura snarled.

"Okay. For what it's worth, I'm sorry."

Kirk turned on his heels and left to give Uhura her privacy. Out in the hall he dragged his hands through his hair. Feeling sick to his stomach he wandered down to sick bay. McCoy was pacing around making life generally difficult for anyone who got in his way. Although in the sick bay he was wearing the medical satchel that he used whenever he was part of the landing party.

"Bones, where's Saavik?"

"She's in her quarters meditating or something."

"So she's feeling better?"

"Yes, we are going to try and ease her off the Vulandin. We're testing to see if the Vulcine did anything permanent to her or if now that she's off it the voice stop."

"Did you tell her what's going on?" Kirk asked.

"I had to, she would have figured it out on her own if I didn't."

"Agreed."

"How did Uhura take it?"

"Not well."

"No surprise there." McCoy sighed. "Shall we?"

"Yeah, let's go."

Kirk and McCoy walked back down to the transporter room. Scotty was tinkering with some of the programing. Looking up at the pair the Head Engineer smiled. Kirk walked up and looked down at the computer.

"Going back down, Sir?"

"No, Scotty, Engineering department needs you, something about a flux something or other. I was in the area so I thought I'd deliver the message personally."

"Sir?" Scotty asked confused.

"Off you go."

Kirk ushered Scotty out of the transporter room and tapped his code into the door so that it locked in place. McCoy shook his head sadly. It was plain to see how much he hated all of this cloak and dagger stuff. Kirk wasn't thrilled with it either, but he had agreed to it and needed to follow through. Kirk pulled out his communicator and set it to a private frequency.

"Spock?"

"Here, Captain." Spock replied in a hoarse whisper.

"How you doing?"

"Rapidly declining."

"We're beaming you aboard now."

"Thank you, Captain."

"This is foolish, Jim." Bones pointed out. "Pure Vulcan stubbornness."

"No, Bones, he's just trying to retain some of his dignity."

"He's going about it the wrong way."

"At least he's asking for our help."

McCoy was forced to begrudgingly agree. Kirk smiled sadly and turned his attention back to the transporter computer. He was no expert at the device, but he could work it well enough for their purposes. After changing a few settings he activated the device. When nothing appeared to happen McCoy looked around and raised his eyebrow.

"Did it work?" Bones asked.

"Let's find out." Kirk pulled out his communicator again. "Spock?"

"I am here, Captain."

"Alright, we're on our way."

"Very good."

"He sounds one breath away from death." McCoy noted.

"He better not be."

Kirk stalked over to the door and punched his code back into it. He knew it wouldn't be long before Scotty realized that Engineering was working perfectly smoothly. Stepping out into the hall Kirk and McCoy made their way purposefully towards the lower levels of the ship. Deep in the ship they came to a door with a single guard. The guard was leaning heavily against the wall, but he snapped to attention upon sighting the Captain.

"At ease, just a routine inspection."

"There is no one here currently, Captain." The guard said.

"I understand, when is your shift over?"

"Two hours, Sir."

"You look tired." Kirk noted. "Bones, doesn't he look tired?"

"I would say so." Bones replied dispassionately.

"Sorry, Captain....I had a late night."

"Happens to the best of us." Kirk smiled. "Tell you what, knock off early. Go get some sleep."

"Sir?"

"Don't worry, I won't tell on you. In fact there are few jobs worse than guarding an empty corridor, I'm going to eliminate this post until further notice. Talk to Jacobson about reassignment in the morning."

"Thank you, Sir." The guard said with obvious relief.

The young guard headed off at a brisk pace, probably worried that the Captain would call him back to his boring post. It took Kirk a moment to realize that McCoy was staring at him with that disapointed-parent-look painted on his face.

"What?"

"Jim, Starfleet regulations..."

"Bones, I don't need any reminders of regulations."

"Fine, just don't take this too far."

"Too late."

McCoy narrowed his eyes slightly, but Kirk ignored him. The Captain punched his override code into the door and it slid open for him. Stepping into the quiet corridor they slowly started to walk towards the end. Before they reached their destination they heard a violent retching.

"Jim, please, the brig is no place for Spock."

"It was his choice."

"He needs to be in sick bay."

"He wants privacy, this is the only place he's going to get it."

"Spock is acting like an injured animal crawling off into the thicket to die, and you're just going to allow it?"

Kirk didn't answer McCoy's mostly rhetorical question. He didn't like the idea of Spock locked up in the maximum security brig either. However, it was the one place that no one would accidently come across him or think to look for him. The transporter had a setting specifically for transferring dangerous men directly into the last cell on the block. This time the feature had been used to keep anyone from realizing that the Fist Officer had come aboard.

By the time they reached the cell the retching noises had ceased. Kirk stepped in front of the cell that Spock now resided in. Behind the slight shimmer of the force field Spock was sitting in the corner of the featureless cell. Kirk had expected to see Spock much like when the Vulcan had last imprisoned himself here. Before he had a look of confident conviction that he belonged locked up, however now he seemed unsure of his decision.

"Spock?"

Spock was slow to respond. He looked up at his friends without truly seeing them. The green tint in the white has been once again replaced by an intense emerald. When he started to fight to get to his feet Kirk lowered the field that separated them. He and McCoy both rushed in to keep the ailing Vulcan down. Spock instinctively fought against their restraint, but gave in quickly as he panted for breath. Kirk and McCoy joined Spock on the floor.

"Easy, Spock. We're here to help, remember?"

"Yes, Captain. Forgive my struggle."

"Spock," McCoy said "why are you suddenly so much worse?"

"In the presence of the Council I had to shield my mind from them. It proved to be dangerously taxing."

"I still say this is a bad idea." Bones grumbled.

"I assure you that I am not looking forward to the prospect myself, Doctor." Spock said wearily. "However, there is no alternative. I will not survive another injection of Vulandin in my current condition."

"I agree with you on that, Spock." McCoy nodded. "However, why the lies?"

"Doctor, I am First Officer aboard this ship, I can not be seen by this crew as weak and insane if I am to continue to function."

"They already know you're sick."

"A very limited number understand the extent of my illness. Only the command staff are even aware of my take over of the ship."

"What about Uhura?"

"Correct. She also knows. She can be trusted with the secret."

"That's not what I meant, Spock. I meant keeping this a secret from her." Bones hissed. "I agree you need a break from the Vulandin if you're going to survive the next twenty-four hours, but there is no guarantee that the break itself won't kill you."

"I understand that. I do not wish Nyota to see me this way."

"She has a right to know, to say good-bye."

"I agree with McCoy, Spock. I hated lying to her, and if you don't make it think of how hurt she'll be."

"Gentlemen, I assure you I did not come to this decision lightly. Nyota will feel betrayed at first, anger will taint her grief. However, in time her anger will fade and her last memories of me will be of the past two days that we have spent together in relative peace and comfort and not of me screaming in insanity, tearing at my own flesh. I asked the Captain to lie to protect her."

"When you put it that I'm a little miffed that you don't mind our last memory of you being the whole insane thing." Kirk forced a smile.

"I do apologize, Captain. Hopefully it will not come to that." Spock said seriously. "Doctor, do you have the delivery system?"

"Yes...but I've never used one."

"Its operation is simple."

"Spock," Kirk said "is it going to be able to withstand your strength?"

"Jim's right, you might just rip it off."

"No. A full Vulcan may have the strength to remove it, but I will not. Particularly once it starts to take effect.

"It's not rated for long term use." Bones pointed out.

"Three days is not long term."

"Bones," Kirk sighed "we're wasting time, we're not going to talk him out of this. Do it."

"Fine, I just want everyone to know that this goes against my medical advice."

"Duly noted."

Kirk got to his feet and helped Spock do the same. Taking a moment to recover his balance Spock grabbed the collar of his Vulcan robes. With some assistance from Kirk and McCoy he managed to pull them off over his head. Kirk was surprised to see that Spock was wearing his uniform under the flowing Vulcan trappings.

"Do you ever take that thing off?" McCoy demanded.

"When appropriate."

Spock took the corners of his blue shirt and pulled it and the black undershirt off as well. The cut in his chest was starting to heal, but was still a bright green slash. Kirk held Spock's shirt while McCoy dug through the small satchel that he wore at his side. The doctor pulled out a clear disk with a domed top on it. The device was about four inches in diameter and no more than two inches at its thickest point. Under the clear top two colorful liquids sloshed around in their own compartments.

Treating the device as though it was made of glass Bones sought out its edges. He located two tabs and pulled on them. As he did so two silver loops of silver wire stretched out of the sides of the disc. Spock held his hands up and McCoy threaded Spock's hands through the loops. He pulled the loops all the way up Spock's arms so that the device rested on his chest. Still holding on the loops Bones reached around Spock as though he was going to give him a hug. When the two silver loops touched one another behind Spock's back they melted together and snapped tight.

The result was a figure eight that held the device securely to Spock's chest. As it came in close contact with his skin a few colored lights deep within it started to flash. He reached up and attempted to pull it off, but it wasn't going anywhere. At first Kirk was afraid that Spock wasn't going to be able to breath, but the strap seemed to expand slightly with each labored inhalation.

"That looks excessively tight." Kirk said.

"It is intended for use on the criminally insane and dangerous to help in chemically restraining them." Spock retrieved his shirt from the Captain and crawled back into it. The lights could still be seen flashing through the material. "It was not designed to be comfortable, Captain, but it is not painful."

"I still don't trust it." McCoy insisted. "Sedation like this is dangerous."

"Without it I fear I will beat myself to death against the walls once the Vulandin is out of my system."

"This should prevent that. Any kind of violent motion or dramatic increase in heartbeat will cause it to inject an appropriate level of a powerful sedative. The remote I have will trigger a dose of Vulandin. I've also programed it so that if your vitals ever look like you are nearing death it will administer the Vulandin in a last ditch effort."

"You changed the settings to be compatible with Vulcan physiology?" Spock asked.

"If I hadn't it would be pumping you full of drugs as we speak with that crazy heartbeat of yours."

"Good point, Doctor."

"I'll be back in an hour to make sure everything is alright. In the mean time it will constantly send me all of your vitals signs. I need to get back to medical before people start asking questions about were I've gone."

McCoy gave Spock one last look over before leaving. Kirk watched him go, but did not follow him. He could hear Spock breathing heavily. He knew he should return to the bridge, but he couldn't bring himself to leave Spock alone in the brig. Spock took a few steps back so that he could lean his back against the wall.

"Captain, you should be leaving as well."

"This ship can run herself for a few more minutes." Kirk forced a smile. "Spock, the last time you went off the Vulandin you started writing some fairly complicated stuff on the walls. Did you ever figure out what any of it meant?"

"I determined the meaning of about half of it. I do not know why I wrote it nor do I have any memory of doing so."

"There was a Vulcan in the complex on Natala who was doing something similar, only with faces."

"Fascinating."

"Do you think there is any connection?"

"I do not have enough data to answer that question." Spock replied.

"What are the chances that you are going to start painting again?"

"It is likely."

"You only have so much blood to lose."

"I have been thinking about that. Perhaps if I had something to paint with I would not resort to my own blood."

"I'll bring some down."

"Thank you, Captain."

Kirk turned to leave to get the promised paint. He was slow to leave, hoping that Spock would change his mind about not tell Uhura where he was. Kirk reached up and started putting in the code that would activate a sound proof force field. Before he finished he caught sight of Spock moving towards him out of the corner of his eye.

"Captain..." Spock called softly.

"Yes, Spock?"

Kirk took his hand away from the panel and turned to face Spock once more. Spock hesitated. Kirk waited quietly, unknowingly holding his breath. Eventually Spock reached up and removed his insignia from his shirt. He offered the metal symbol to the Captain. Kirk looked at the insignia, but he didn't reach out to take it.

"Captain, please take this."

"Keep it, it might remind you of who you are if things get rough."

"Please, take it. I have used it to injure myself in the past."

Kirk took the silver insignia the way one receives an extraordinary gift. He stared down at it in his palm for a moment. He reached up to his own collar and pulled his green shirt away from the black under shirt. He pinned Spock's insignia to his chest and released his shirt to hide it.

"I'll keep it safe, Spock."

"Thank you, Captain...for everything."


	29. Chapter 29

Note from the PHOENIX: So guess what?! My flight has In Fight WiFi! Squeee!! So I wrote and posted this published this at 30,000!!! for fun with history look up RMS Carpathia.

Chapter Twenty-nine

"Doctor?"

"Yes, Nurse?"

"It's nearly midnight."

"So?"

"You've been working nearly ten hours."

"I used to pull twenty-four hour shifts back in med school when I was an intern." McCoy replied defensively.

"You're not an intern any more, and the ship is not in a state of emergency."

"If I didn't know any better I'd say you were trying to get rid of me."

"No, Doctor." Chapel shook her head. "I just want to make sure you're getting the sleep you need."

"Thank you. I think I will turn in. Call me if I'm needed."

"Yes, Doctor."

McCoy took one last look around before leaving. He was tired, but he didn't go directly to his quarters. Instead he headed down to the security level. McCoy had been slipping out of medical about every other hours to check on Spock. Not yet feeling the signs of withdrawal Spock had ensured him each time that he was doing as well as could be expected.

Arriving at the abandoned corridor McCoy felt uneasy. He didn't like having to sneak down here to treat his patient and he certainly didn't like having his friend locked up in the brig. The hall was deathly silent with only the hum of the ship creating any kind of sound.

When he came to where Spock was being held he was surprised to find the Vulcan fast asleep. Spock was laying on his back on the small bed that was mounted on the wall. He jerked slightly, caught in some unknowable nightmare. Bones was reminded sharply of when they'd first found him in the complex on Natala.

"We're no better than they were." Bones muttered under his breath.

"On the contrary, Doctor," Spock replied without opening his eyes "you are not holding me against my will."

"Spock...I...I thought you were sleeping."

"I was."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"I know."

"How are you feeling?"

"I believe you would sleep better tonight if you did not know." Spock replied.

"Do you hear the voices?"

"Yes. They are quiet, just whispers. It is...disconcerting."

"How are you emotionally?"

"I do not wish to discuss such matters."

"Okay." McCoy nodded. "I'll let you sleep."

"Thank you, Doctor."

Bones turned to leave as promised.

"Dr. McCoy?" Spock called.

"Yes?"

"Keep a close watch on Saavik. As I deteriorate my emotions may have an affect on her, the rest of the crew may feel some of it as well, but as a Vulcan she will be in particular danger."

"I'll do everything I can for her."

Spock simply nodded. He had never opened his eyes, making Bones fear that he didn't have the strength to do so. Bone took a breath to start up the argument about Uhura again, but decided that he'd have more luck talking a brick wall into turning to dust. He stayed and watched as Spock quickly fell back asleep.

Feeling more exhausted than before McCoy returned to his quarters. Walking into his bedroom he sat down heavily on the edge of his bed. He pulled a small device out of his pocket and placed it on the night stand. It was connected to the one on Spock's chest and it would alert him if anything went wrong. Bones reached up and scratched behind his ear causing something to fall to the floor. Furrowing his brow he reached down and retrieved the triangular piece of flesh that had fallen.

"What the..." Bones muttered. "Oh my God..."

Bones was not upset that the Vulcan ear tips had finally decided to come of. He was mortified by the fact that he just realized that he'd shown up in front of the Vulcan Council wearing them. The Council had said nothing, but Bones suddenly understood the slight eyebrow lift he'd received from Ilion. Mortified he reached up and tugged off the other ear tip.

"I can't believe Spock didn't stop me. I knew that stone faced bastard had a sense of humor deep down."

McCoy casually tossed the ear tips into the trash. He thought about getting out of his uniform, but in the end he was just too tired for even that simple act. Laying down on top of the sheets he put his head down on the pillow and closed his eyes.

Bones was certain that he hadn't even managed to fall asleep before he head the front door whistle. At first he just ignored it, but when the whistle went off again he realized that he was going to have to get up. Forcing himself to his feet he stumbled over to the door and opened it. Saavik was standing outside his door with her hands held behind her back the way Spock always did.

"Saavik?"

"Yes, Doctor. I am sorry to be bothering you so late."

"It's no bother, I wasn't even asleep. Come in."

"Thank you."

McCoy stepped aside and allowed Saavik to come inside. He was hoping that she'd take a seat in the living room so that he'd have an excuse to sit down as well. However, Saavik seemed more comfortable standing.

"How can I help you?" Bones asked.

"I wish to speak to you about the events on Natala. I would have spoken to you sooner, but you seemed very distracted the last we spoke."

"I was." McCoy admitted. "What would you like to know?"

"Was Spock's theory believed?"

"I think that it was actually. Ilion questioned it at first, but he slow saw the logic in it."

"Do you know what their next action is going to be?"

"There isn't going to be one."

"I do not understand."

"The Vulcans seem to think they have this under control. They have found a way to eliminate pon farr, and so they think they've solved the problem."

"I suppose if what they say is true then they have."

"You think the Council would lie?"

"Never. Not lie. They may simply be misinformed. Chemically treating pon farr is difficult, as I have demonstrated. I am surprised they have perfected the Vulcine so quickly."

"Maybe they didn't. Maybe they just have plans to start sterilizing the males."

"No." Saavik shook her head. "That is not logical. Sterilization would mean the death of the species."

"In either case, they think they have their solution so they have no interest in helping Spock."

"I am not surprised that they do not wish to assist Spock further. I am surprised that they are not more concerned about the others."

"How many Vulcans are in the complex right now?"

"When I was there last: thirty-seven in cells, two hundred and twenty-one in suspension. However, they are not the 'others' I am speaking of. I am speaking of the six billion trapped between life and death. It is logical of the Council to feel they have the situation under control, but it is not ethical. Something must be done. I am disappointed that they are unwilling to help."

"I'm sorry, Saavik, they didn't seem to care."

"They are burdened enough with caring for the survivors." Saavik sighed. "The transition to Natala has not been an easy one. It meets all of our physiological needs, however something is missing."

"It's not 'home'."

"Perhaps that is the crux. As a species we were deeply attached to the soils on which we were born."

"Hopefully future generations will see Natala as home."

"Thank you, Doctor. Try to get some sleep."

"Are you feeling alright?"

"Yes, Doctor."

Bones watched Saavik leave feeling concerned for her. She had a look about her that he had seen before in his terminally ill patients once they had accepted their fate. He had been so concerned about Spock over the past twelve hours that he hadn't even thought about how she was doing. Feeling like he was about to pass out McCoy returned to bed. This time he hadn't even laid down before the small device on his night stand started to beep. Before he could react his communicator chirped. He had given Spock an emergency communicator that was set to only call out to his own.

"Doctor, hel..."

"Spock? Spock..."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

Kirk sat in the Captain's chair on the bridge struggling to stay awake. It was getting close to midnight and the shift had changed out hours ago. Kirk didn't want to admit it to himself, but he knew he was staying on the bridge because he felt he was safe here. Uhura would never dare engage him in an argument on the bridge. Just to be safe he had even taken her off bridge duty rotation for the next three days.

"Captain?"

"Yes, um..."

"Talis, Sir."

"Right, sorry. What do you need Lieutenant?"

"Nothing, Sir, it is just that you look ready to hit the deck. We have the bridge under control, I highly doubt the Vulcans are going to fire on us."

"You never know." Kirk muttered under his breath.

"Sir?"

"Nothing. You're right. You have the con Talis."

"Yes, Sir. I'll take good care of her."

"See that you do."

Talis smiled, but it didn't hide the worried look in his eyes. Kirk ignored the Lieutenant and jumped to his feet as though he was wide awake. Once in the turbo lift he slumped against the wall in exhaustion. He marveled at how well Spock had been able to put on such a good show despite how ill he was.

"And here I can't even convince the crew I'm not tired."

When the turbo lift came to a stop Kirk peeked out into the hallway. Relieved to find it empty he slunk down the corridor to his quarters. Once inside he staggered directly to bed. Unlike McCoy he didn't even bother thinking about taking off his uniform. However, just like his friend the moment his head hit the pillow the door whistle went off.

"Not now...please." Kirk muttered.

The door chimed again and then a third time. Kirk realized that he wasn't going to get any peace until he talked to Uhura. After taking a deep breath Kirk forced himself up and out of bed. He walked over to the door and it slid open. Uhura invited herself in and when the door slid shut she stared at the Captain expectantly.

"Uhura..."

"The next words out of your mouth better be an apology followed by the truth."

"Wha..." Kirk shook his head to try and clear it. "Uhura I don't know what you're talking about. Spock just wants some time on Nata..."

Kirk was stopped short by a blinding flash of pain that caused him to stagger back a few steps. It took him a second to realize that Uhura had just hit him. It hadn't been an angry slap, but rather a close fisted all out punch. More than a little stunned Kirk stared at Uhura and saw that she was fully prepared to strike him again. Her eyes glittered with a combination of unspilled tears and murderous venom.

"Wow..." Kirk said ruefully as he rubbed his sore cheek "you can hit."

"You deserve worse." Uhura hissed.

"Nyota, please, I've already told you the tru..."

"If Spock was still on the planet my ring wouldn't be gold."

Uhura held up her hand to display her wedding band which was a tarnished gold color. Kirk groaned internally. He had completely forgotten that the couple's jewelry reacted to one another. The closer they got to each other the brighter the gold color. The instant Spock had beamed aboard the ring must have changed from silver to gold.

"Okay, you caught us." Kirk sighed. "Spock is onboard."

"Why did you lie to me?"

"Personally I didn't want to. Spock asked me to. He doesn't want anyone knowing he's onboard."

"Even me?"

"Especially you. He's taking a break from the Vulandin and doesn't want you to see him in the condition he's in."

"I'm going to kill him."

"I warned him. Hell hath no fury..."

Kirk didn't finish the well known phrase. Uhura looked defeated and lost once again. For a moment her spark had returned, but now that she had lost her anger the stress of her situation seemed to bear down on her once more. Kirk reached out and put his hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him with a slight smile.

"I'm sorry, Captain." Uhura apologized. "Are you going to have me court martialed?"

"Well, seeing as we are both treading on thin ice these days I think I'll let it go."

"Thank you, Sir."

"Now the big decision...do you want to see Spock?"

"Of course I do."

"He's not going to react well, he honestly doesn't want you to see him crazy."

"I've already seen it." Uhura said seriously. "For better or for worse...those are the words I promised to live by, Captain."

"True."

Kirk took Uhura's hand and lead her down to the security level. When they came to the corridor Kirk was surprised to see that McCoy was there as well. He was standing just outside Spock's cell with his hands on his hips and his expression locked in deep thought.

"Bones?"

"Captain, I was just about to call..." McCoy stopped as he turned and saw Uhura. "Uhura...I swear I wanted Spock to tell you the truth."

"I know."

"I see you managed to beat the truth out of Jim."

"She's got a mean upper cut."

Uhura pushed past the two men to go see her husband. She stood outside the cell staring in at him. Kirk stepped up next to her and offered his silent support. Looking in he noticed that Spock had put the red paint he had given him to use. The wall above the bed had a hastily drawn space ship of unusual design. The painting was only half complete and there was a streak down the wall where Spock must have lost the strength to continue and slid down the wall. He was currently on the bed face down.

"Spock never sleeps on his stomach." Uhura whispered.

"He's not exactly sleeping, he's sedated." McCoy informed.

"Can I go in there?"

"Vulcans are not easily sedated. He could wake at any moment and he may be violent."

"What happened, Bones?" Kirk asked.

"I don't fully know. I was just getting to bed when the alarm on my night stand went crazy, elevated heart rate and blood pressure. Spock got half way through calling me down here before his message broke off. By the time I got down here the sedative had taken effect. That paint is still wet, he must have just started it."

"At least the sedative seems to be working. That ship, it looks so familiar..."

"Sedative?" Uhura asked.

"Spock is wearing a device that automatically keeps him calm. Although I've adjusted it, it wasn't supposed to actually knock him out."

"Please, Dr. McCoy, let me go in there. Just for a minute."

Bones looked to Kirk for a final decision on the matter. Kirk was just about to allow it when Spock jerked away with a violent cry. He scrambled out of bed before getting his feet under himself and ended up on all fours. Jumping to his feet he stared seemingly right through his guests.

"What are you doing?!" Spock demanded.

"It's alright, Spock." Kirk said gently. "Uhura figured it out on her own."

"No, no, no...stop her!"

"Um...it's a little late for tha..."

"Doctor you said you would keep her safe!" Spock snarled. "Stop her!"

"Spock, are you talking about Saavik?" Bones asked.

"Yes! Stop her!"

"Where is she?"

Spock closed his eyes and then slowly dropped down to his knees. The lights from the device visible through his shirt started blinking faster. Shaking his head he reached up and slapped himself across the face.

"Spock!" Uhura cried in horror.

"He's just trying to wake himself up, the device has detected his agitation and is trying to sedate him again."

"You're going to kill him."

"There is that risk." Bones admitted. "Spock, is Saavik in trouble?"

"Level...A..." Spock panted. "Observation starboard...go. Quickly."

McCoy didn't have to be told twice and was off at a dead run. Kirk hung back just long enough to to order Uhura to stay put. He caught up with Bones just as the turbo lift doors were sliding shut. Bones paced the small confines as the lift brought them to the top of the expansive ship. Once the doors opened McCoy was off running again.

"Starboard, Bones, Starboard!" Kirk called.

Bones skid to a stop and whipped around in his course correction. At this late hour there were on a few people in the halls. They all turned their heads and stared after the Captain and Medical Officer as they barreled down the hall. They looked like two school boys holding a competitive race.

Kirk came to the door that lead to Observation Deck 2 that lay on the starboard side of the ship. Stepping inside he scanned for Saavik. He found her kneeling in front of the large floor-to-ceiling window. She had both arms lifted up over her head with her hands pressed against the glass. Her fingers were were split in the Vulcan salute. With her head bowed she was completely motionless.

"Saavik!" McCoy cried.

Stepping out of the way Kirk let the doctor deal with the situation. He fell to his knees next to her and put his hands on her shoulders. Saavik fell back into his arms like a rag doll. Dark green blood stained her face and ran down her throat and soaked into the black material of her shirt. Kirk watched anxiously as Bones ran his hand over her face to push her curly hair aside. McCoy closed his eyes and sighed heavily.

"Bones?"

"She...she's dead, Jim."

"What happened? I don't understand."

"Neither do I. Whatever she was doing, Spock knew about it."

"What's that?" Kirk pointed to a discarded hypo on the floor.

"Looks like Vulcine." Bones replied vacantly.

Bones laid Saavik down on the floor with care. He looked like he was in shock. Kirk said nothing, realizing that this was not the time for words even if he had any to share. Bones looked down on Saavik and furrowed his brow. There was a small corner of paper sticking out of her pocket. He retrieved the folded note and read it out loud.

"Doctor McCoy, Captain James T. Kirk, if I do not survive I apologize. Someone had to try connecting to the souls trapped in the black hole directly. I was the logical choice for such an experiment. The Vulcine worked to enhance my connection to them. My main fear is that opening my mind to six billion souls will be over whelming. However, if there is a chance to bring them peace it must be attempted. If I am killed under no circumstances are you to allow Spock to attempt what I have attempted, the results will no doubt be the same. Thank you both for all you have done for myself, Spock, and the rest of the Vulcan species. If I do not find an answer here, I am confident that you will find one and learn from my mistake."

Kirk sat down and joined Bones on the floor. The men spent a few minutes in silence as McCoy reread the letting in silence. Bones folded the letter back up and placed it in his own pocket. Reaching up he tore off one of the sleeves of his uniform and used it to clean the blood off Saavik's face as best he could.

"I'm sorry, Bones. You know this isn't your fault, right?"

"It's the Vulcan Council's fault." McCoy growled bitterly. "She did this because I told her that they weren't going to help. I'm sure she felt it only logical to try and save them herself knowing that Spock was too weak to try and a valued member of Starfleet."

"You think she valued Spock's life over her own?"

"I'm sure of it."

Kirk nodded sadly in agreement. Once again a heavy silence fell over the scene. Kirk looked out the window, knowing that the Vulcan black hole must lay in that direction. The glittering stars that once looked so beautiful to him seemed cold and distant right now.

"Captain?" The intercom suddenly asked.

"Not now." Kirk replied.

"Starfleet is hailing."  
"Tell them to call back."

"Sir, it's a priority one message."

"Fine." Kirk sighed. "Patch it through."

"Captain?" Admiral Pike's voice asked.

"Yes, Sir?"

"I realize that your current mission is not going well, and is of vital importance to both the Federation and yourself personally."

"However..."

"However, you must divert to the Teguas system immediately." Pike continued.

"What's going on?"

"The USS Carpathia is in distress."

"The Carpathia?" Bones questioned. "Isn't she a rescue vessel?"

"Yes, Doctor," Pike confirmed "and she is now in need of rescue herself. Leave now, maximum Warp, no questions. There are 706 lives aboard her, we have no details beyond the fact that she is in dire need. Godspeed Captain."

"Aye, Sir." Kirk nodded. "Helm, did you hear that?"

"Aye, Sir."

"Lay the course, get us there as fast as she'll take."

"Sir, what about Mr. Spock? Isn't he still on Natala."

"Lay the course, Helm, now!" Kirk barked.

"Aye Sir. Arrival in approximately seven hours."

Feeling a headache coming on Kirk pinched the bridge of his nose. Bones reached over Saavik and put his hand on Kirk's shoulder. Looking up Kirk forced a sad smile. He suddenly gasped sharply.

"Jim?"

"Spock's painting...I thought I recognized it. It's the Carpathia!"

"The Carpathia, are you sure?"

"The rescue ships have a special engine design that allows for greater speed and maneuverability, but less protection during a fire fight. I guarantee you, Spock was painting the Carpathia."

"But the Teguas is dozens of light years from here."

"And yet Spock knew she was in trouble....just as he knew Saavik was."


	30. Chapter 30

NOTE from the PHOENIX: I'm back in town, but not for long. I'm going to Indiana on Friday for two weeks. So I have no idea what my update status or e-mail situation will be during that time. Enjoy!!!

Chapter Thirty

Locked in a nightmare Spock's breath hissed raggedly over his clenched teeth. Someone, perhaps everyone, on the USS Carpathia had cried out to him in a similar dream. However the unknown fate of the rescue ship was not what plagued him now. Even Saavik's recent death was still only a vague sensation that something was wrong. At this moment as far as Spock was concerned he stood once again on the hot sands of Vulcan.

Looking up he stared in horror at the blood red sky that seemed to boil with an unnatural life of its own. None around him were concerned by the danger, and even he was uncertain as to what the ominous sky foretold. Spock noticed one of the near by rocks fracture with no apparent reason behind the destruction. The unfamiliar feeling of uneasiness that had been twisting his stomach now turned to an icy fear.

"Spock."

"Mother?"

"Spock, what are you doing?"

Turning around Spock found his mother sitting on the lounge that sat on the stone porch of his childhood home. She stared at him calmly even as a slate shingle slid from the roof and shattered against the floor. There were a handful of Vulcans with her, all engaged in typical conversation with one another. Spock turned away and glanced back at the angry sky, wondering why he was the only one who seemed fearful.

Spock's mother got up from her place and excused herself from the others. Walking up behind her son she placed her hand on his shoulder, and leaned in to kiss his cheek. Spock instinctively tilted his head away from her just enough to show that the intimate contact was unwanted. Amanda smiled sadly and took her hand off him.

"Still afraid of showing affection?" Amanda asked knowingly.

"I am not afraid." Spock lied. "It is simply not appropriate at this time, Mother."

"Are you sure you feel no fear?"

"Fear is a human emo..." Spock trailed off as one of the large stone out croppings near by crumbled noisily. "Mother, we must leave."

"Leave? Where would you like to go?"

"Not just you and I, all of Vulcan."

"What are you talking about?"

"Something terrible is going to happen." Spock replied vaguely. "I do not know what it is, however, I do know that if we do not leave Vulcan we will all perish."

"Spock," Amanda chuckled "you're not being very logical."

"Where is my father?"

"With the Council of course. Spock, what is bothering you?"

"Nothing."

As in any dream Spock did not find it unusual to suddenly have his scenery switched on him. Deep inside the stone wall of the Council's Hall Spock could hear the rumbling of Vulcan as the planet groaned from a mysterious agony. The Council remained oblivious to the danger. Spock on the other hand had a sense of dread that was threatening to over take any hopes of rational thought.

He felt like he had been debating with the Council for days on the need to escape. Above him he knew the vast glass ceiling that covered the Science Academy had already shattered, and still no one would admit to the need for help. Frustrated Spock used all of his will power not to pace before the Council. The Council looked down on him coldly. They were forced by Vulcan law to hear what he had to say, but there was nothing in the law that said they had to truly listen.

"Vulcan must be evacuated."

"Need we remind you, Spock, that your continued place in the Science Academy is tenuous at best. These wild theories and doomsday predictions of yours are not helping your position."

"Council, please, you must believe me..."

"You are becoming emotional, Spock."

"You have left me no choice!" Spock roared as his fear boiled over into anger. "What is happening to Vulcan is not a natural phenomenon. Someone is actively destroying us!"

"There are none who would attack Vulcan for we attack no one."

"Call Starfleet," Spock insisted to his deaf audience "we need help."

"Vulcan can care for her own. If you wish to associate with Starfleet you should have joined their ranks when given the chance."

"Perhaps I should have." Spock snarled. "I have done everything in my power to gain your acceptance, and yet all I say is instantly disregarded! If I had known that I was to simply slowly rot on Vulcan I would have taken my chances with the humans!"

"It is not too late to take the path not chosen." The Councilor growled dangerously. "You no longer have a place at the Science Academy."

Spock fought against the hands suddenly on him. Enraged he lashed out blindly at his attackers. The surrounds had changed once again shifting to the deserted sands just outside the city. Dragged further away from civilization Spock finally managed to twisted free of his captors. Turning to face them he found himself in the middle of group of Vulcans a few years his senior. One of them still bore a scar on his upper lip from where Spock had once struck him when they were both far younger. Back then they had worked hard to force him into showing his emotional side. It wasn't so difficult this time.

Throwing himself at the eldest Spock once again caught the Vulcan off guard. The pair fell to the gritty sand, locked in battle. Although Spock quickly gained the upper hand he lost the fight due to the fact that he was out numbered. Two Vulcans tore him away from his bleeding prey. Getting to his feet the powerful young Vulcan struck Spock hard enough to bring him to his knees. The others continued to hold him down despite his attempts to get to his feet.

When he heard the distinctive sound of a knife blade scrapping across its scabbard Spock uselessly doubled his efforts to escape. Spock cried out in a mixture of pain and humiliation as they took a hold of one of his ears and cut deeply into it. Blood ran down his neck as they repeated the cruel mutilation on the other side. Once they had stolen the points that once tipped his ears they released him with a violent shove.

"We've done you a favor, Spock, now you can go live among the humans where you belong."

Spock found his way out of the dream momentarily. Barely conscious he fluttered his eyes open and stared up at the white ceiling. With his heart still racing he tried to figure out what was happening. The more focus he gained the louder the constant chatter of voices in the background became.

Unsure of where he was Spock rolled out of the small bed and spent a moment finding his balance. Turning around he saw Dr. McCoy watching him through the force field. Spock's mind was clouded by a combination of things and he did not recognize his friend. All he could see was a figure lording over him as though he was nothing more than a beast. Infuriated Spock rushed the invisible barrier and slammed into it. The device pressed against his chest reacted to his violence and beeped a warning. If he calmed himself in the next five seconds it wouldn't push more drugs into his system.

Unable to control himself Spock rammed the force field again. His only reward was a wash of sedative that quickly dragged him towards the floor. It felt as though someone had turned up the gravity generator. Unable to win against the chemicals Spock began to fall. A strong set of hands eased him gently to the floor as he was forced to lay down. Working to keep his eyes open Spock looked up at McCoy.

The concerned look on the doctor's face cooled Spock's previous temper, however it brought with it a new wash of panic. As Spock lost the power to stay awake Bones peeled back one of his eyelids to look at the Vulcan's unevenly dilated green stained eyes. After a critical look at his patient Bones ran his hand gently through Spock's hair.

"This can't continue," McCoy muttered "we're killing you."

Spock barely heard the words of concern as he fell off the razor's edge of consciousness once again. The voices that had been echoing in the back of his mind exploded into a scene of chaos and panic. Spock raced through the frantic mob as the whole world collapsed in around them. Dust made it difficult to see and the stench of blood made every breath sickening.

Unable to find his family in the vast sea of terrified Vulcans Spock began scream out for them. Even to his own ears his voice was muffled and canceled out by those around him. The claustrophobia of the seething mass of bodies crushed down on him as the air became thick with heat and sound. As the violence of his surroundings escalated enormous stones fell from nowhere and everywhere, crushing those around him.

Overwhelmed by the environment Spock clamped his palms down over his ears, but nothing could block out the sounds of rock crushing bone and the panicked cries of the others. Sinking to his knees he weld his eyes shut, and tried to cry out louder than the others so that he could at least have the comfort of hearing his own voice. What had once only been cries of panic now mixed with wails of grief.

The oppressive searing heat around him suddenly snapped into an icy cold and the cries fell deathly silent. Opening his eyes Spock breathed out a white cold that obscured his own vision. Alone in a cave made of ice Spock slowly got to his feet and wandered further into the cavern. As he walked a motion caught his attention and he turned to face the shadows. A figure stepped out of the sharp black shadows and Spock found himself staring into his own eyes that had been weakened by the ravages of age.

"I need your help." Spock asked of himself.

"You will not find what you are looking for in the past, only the future holds the keys you need."

"You are of the future, does that mean you have answers?"

"Indeed, I have them." Spock's older self nodded. "However, I doubt you will be willing to do what it takes to obtain them."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because I would not be."

"I am not you."

"Then I will show you."

Spock took a hesitant step back as his alternate self reached out to touch him. The elder Spock smiled sadly and brushed his younger double's temple. Spock gasped sharply as he was jolted awake from the phantom contact. This time when he woke he was not as disoriented as the first time.

Sitting up he tried to understand the meaning behind the dreams, but he told himself that logically the dreams were nothing more than the manifestation of his own frustration. Closing his eyes did nothing to stop the hot tears that slipped down his face. Fearing that he would soon break down into a true weeping Spock pressed the contact on the medical alert bracelet that McCoy had given him. The doctor answered the hail instantly.

"Spock?"

"Dr. McCoy, please come to the security level. I need you to put an end to this experiment."

"Are you sure? It hasn't even been twenty four hours."

"I can no longer bare this."

"I'm already on my way."

It had taken all of Spock's will power to hold the short conversation. Once he knew McCoy was coming to his aide there was nothing he could do from being swept away by the unwelcome rip tide of emotion. Uncontrollable tears lead into fits of laughter so powerful they were painful. When McCoy arrived Spock was suddenly reminded of his blood lust and attacked the force field once more.

The device on his chest began to beep its warning, however this time McCoy used the device in his own hand to cause a soothing flood of Vulandin to race through his veins. Spock instantly calmed as his emotions settled back to their repressible levels. Bones dropped the shield and stepped inside to help Spock back over to the bed to sit down. Spock took a deep breath and slowly released it, enjoying the silence in his own mind.

"Back to 'chasing the dragon', eh Spock?" Bones sighed.

"Dragon?"

"Never mind." McCoy shook his head. "Are emotions really that difficult for you? Is that truly what is killing you?"

"Yes, Doctor." Spock nodded. "Try to imagine if you woke up one day and your eyes not only saw visible light, but all forms of radiation. How long do you think you could keep your sanity if your mind was suddenly expected to process the world around you in ultra violent, infra red, X-ray, radio waves, and more? What if every photon was bouncing off your senses, containing far more information than you could ever begin to process and you had no way of shuting any of it out?"

"I guess I'd probably go into some form of shock."

"That is exactly what emotions do to Vulcans, Doctor. If they are not controlled, they control us."

"I can see that."

"Doctor, Saavik, is she..."

"I'm sorry, Spock," McCoy's eyes brightened with unshed tears "I wasn't fast enough."

"What happened?"

"She took an over dose of Vulcine to try and help her connect with whatever these voices are. Dr. Balard is doing the autopsy now."

"You are not performing the autopsy yourself?"

"No." Bones admitted.

Spock said nothing. McCoy looked grateful for the Vulcan's silence on the matter. Spock looked around the walls of his cell and noticed the half finished painting. The forward section of the vessel was missing, but he could still determine that the ship was not a Starship but rather one that was designed for rescue. He did not recall dipping his fingers into the paint to produce it, but when he looked down at his hands they were stained in red.

"Spock?"

"I am sorry, Doctor, I became lost in thought."

"Understandable."

"Perhaps now would be a good time to complete our ruse and have me beamed up from Vulcan so that I can return to my post."

"Um...that could be a little difficult."

"Why?"

"We left Natala a few hours ago."

"How did you convince Nyota that the Captain would leave me behind?" Spock asked.

"Spock, don't you remember? She was here, she knows you're on the ship. Your wedding rings gave you away."

"Of course, I should have thought of that." Spock nodded. "Then it is no matter, no one else will dare question my appearance on the ship. Where are we going?"

"There." McCoy pointed to the painting.

"Then it is not a random drawing."

"No." Bones answered even though it had not been a question. "We believe that it is a painting of the Carpathia."

"The design fits, a rescue vessel named after the Royal Mail Ship Carpathia who came to the aide of the survivors of the RMS Titanic in Earth's past." Spock rattled off the information like an encyclopedia. "How did you come to the conclusion that this is the USS Carpathia? There are seventeen ships of the same design in the Fleet."

"About ten minutes after you painted this we got a call from Starfleet saying that the Carpathia was in trouble. They didn't have details. We are on our way at maximum Warp to investigate."

Spock thought about this and turned to stare once again at the painting. Spock's hope had been that he would have finished the writing he had started the last time and perhaps lead him to a solution to the Vulcan dilemma. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to recall why he had spattered this across his wall instead.

"There is no hurry to reach this ship." Spock announced. "You will not find anyone alive."

"What?!"

"The painting is not half finished, this is simply all that remains of the USS Carpathia."


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter Thirty-one

Kirk woke to the sound of the intercom whistling at him. Opening one eye he quickly shut it again with a pitiful groan. He had been forced to bed at McCoy's insistence a few hours ago, but he felt as though he hadn't fallen asleep until a few minutes ago. The intercom whistled again.

"What?" Kirk moaned.

"Captain," Sulu's voice floated through the intercom "we will arrive at the Carpathia's last known location in approximately ten minutes."

"Great...wake me up in nine."

"Sir?"

"Never mind, Sulu. Thank you, I'll be on the bridge in a few minutes."

Swallowing against a sandpaper dry throat Kirk rolled out of bed. He reached up and scratched at his face, suddenly realizing that his five o'clock shadow was looking a little more like three am. Despite the fact that the stubble went against regulations Kirk had no time to shave right now. After a brief hunt he found a clean uniform and crawled out of the one he'd fallen asleep in. Kirk walked over to the intercom and pressed the contact.

"Bones?"

"Urgh..." McCoy replied after moment.

"Bones, you awake?"

"No..."

"Get up. We're almost at the Carpathia, we might need you down in medical."

"Right." McCoy muttered. "On...um...on my way."

Kirk shook his head sadly. He could just see the doctor rolling over and pulling the covers over his head like a child that didn't want to go to school. Feeling like going back to bed himself Kirk gave himself a quick slap and headed towards the bridge.

Arriving on the bridge Kirk was surprised to see that Spock was there. Sitting in the Captain's chair as though nothing was wrong Spock stared at the blue haze of Warp speed that was playing across the front display. Kirk noted that although he himself looked like he'd been ridden hard and put away wet Spock was still immaculately groomed. Without a single hair out of place Spock sat with his back straight and his hands folded in his lap. Kirk stepped up beside his First Officer.

"Hey, you...outta the chair." Kirk teased.

"Of course, Captain."

It wasn't until Spock tried to get to his feet that displayed that he was anything less than one hundred percent healthy. He had gripped the arms of the chair to try and pull himself up, but didn't have the strength. When he went to rock forward to give himself some momentum to get up Kirk reached out and put his hand against Spock's chest to stop him.

"Never mind, Spock, I'm more comfortable standing anyway."

"Thank you, Captain." Spock gave Kirk and nod and then paused. "Captain, are you aware that you are not wearing your shoes?"

Kirk looked down at his bare feet and made a quiet 'huh' noise. He looked back up at Spock and shrugged.

"Yeah, well I'm not wearing any underwear either."

Over at the helm Sulu snickered, but Spock just stared at Kirk blankly. He furrowed his brow the way he always did when the humans were chuckling at something he didn't understand. Normally Kirk would continue to tease him, but he'd already lost his brush with a humorous mood. Spock continued to watch the Captain, waiting for orders.

"So, I take it you are back on the Vulandin?"

"Yes, Captain."

"Did the break help?"

"I am physically feeling slightly stronger."

"Good to hear." Kirk nodded. "Did McCoy tell you about the Carpathia?"

"Indeed. I believe that our rescue efforts are in vain. All aboard the Carpathia are dead."

"Captain," Sulu called "dropping out of Warp in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1..."

Kirk turned his attention to the front screen. His breath hissed sharply over his teeth as Spock's painting came to life in front of him. At first glance it looked as though some sort of explosion had ripped the front section of the large craft apart from within. Kirk looked to Spock and found him trembling slightly as he stared emotionlessly at the wreckage.

"Chekhov," Kirk said quietly "life readings?"

"None, Captain."

"Predicting the future now, Spock?" Kirk asked.

"No, Captain, not the future. I sensed this as it happened, not before."

"Do you know if there were any Vulcans on board?"

"It is unlikely. The Carpathia had a human crew."

"I guess it doesn't matter." Kirk sighed. "A life lost is a life lost."

"In this case the loss of life is great indeed."

"Do you know what happened?"

"No."

"Mr. Sulu, join me in the transporter room with protective gear." Kirk said. "We'll beam a party over and see if we can recover the ship's log. Maybe find out what happened to her."

Assuming that he was part of the mission Spock once again attempted to stand. Kirk knew that any other man in Spock's condition would be bed ridden by now. However, Spock was clearly determined to serve his duty to Starfleet to the exhaustion of the last ounce of his strength. Kirk put his hand on Spock's chest once again and pressed him back into the large chair. Spock gave him a confused look.

"Not this time, Spock." Kirk shook his head. "Mind the store, the con is yours."

A flash of defiance sparked in Spock's dark eyes. However, having been given a direct order he nodded and accepted being left behind. It was times like this that Kirk wondered what exactly it was he had done to earn the Vulcan's undeviating loyalty. He was fairly certain that he didn't deserve such blind faith, but he was grateful for it every day.

Sulu had already left to prepare the gear in the transporter room. When Kirk arrived everything was ready. Sulu along with three other men were waiting for the Captain's arrival. He took a moment to don the pressurized suit. Being barefoot worked to his advantage since he would have had to take the boots off to get into the gear anyway. Kirk joined the others up on the transporter pad.

"Energize, Scotty."

"Aye, Sir."

It was always disconcerting to be beamed into space. The sudden loss of gravity gave the sensation of falling. They had beamed onto bridge of the Carpathia, which remained mostly intact. The crew were still at their stations. Their corpses were frozen in place by the deadly cold of space, a mere three degrees above absolute zero. The positions of the bodies gave Kirk the impression that they had no idea that death was fast approaching. The massive hull breach must have stripped the ship of its atmosphere in seconds.

"Captain." Sulu called.

"Yes?"

"The last navigation coordinates are frozen into the helm screen."

"Where was she headed?"

"Natala."

"Natala is the closest inhabited planet. If the ship's Captain knew the Carpathia was in trouble it would make sense for them to try and reach Natala. Let's get what we came for a get out of here."

"Aye, Sir."

With no power to the computers within the shattered ship they were unable to just access the data they were seeking. Instead the team worked on retrieving the physical drives that stored the Captain's log as well as the flight data recorder. Once they had their prizes they left the dead in peace. A different ship would be sent out to recover the bodies and return them to their families.

Back on the ship Kirk assembled another team to explore the ship for any physical clues as to what happened to the Carpathia. He had the computer parts they had taken hauled off to the lab to have the information pulled off them. After removing the pressurized suit Kirk made his way down to medical bay to let McCoy know that he could go back to bed, no one aboard the Carpathia needed the doctor's skills.

McCoy was in his office pouring over a report. He looked almost as bad off as Spock. The lack of sleep had outlined his eyes with dark circles. His eyes tracked the pages he was reading slowly. With his brow knit tightly he didn't appear to believe whatever it was he was reading. Kirk made his arrival known with a quiet cough.

"Jim." McCoy greeted. "The Carpathia?"

"Spock was right, it's a ghost ship."

"Spock? I asked him to stay in bed."

"You can't tell me you're surprised that he's on the bridge. You know Spock better than that."

"Stubborn."

"I was going to go with 'dedicated', but stubborn works too."

"He really shouldn't be allowed to be in control of this ship, Jim. I know you hate to take his position from him, but he's not healthy enough to continue as First Officer. He is physically and mentally compromised."

"Have you put that in writing?"

"Not yet."

"Please don't." Kirk asked. "I'll take full responsibility for any of Spock's actions."

"You don't think he's dangerous?"

"Honestly, I don't think he has the strength left to be dangerous." Kirk sighed.

"You could be right."

"Go get some sleep, Bones. You look ready to drop."

"No, I have to figure out Saavik's autopsy report." McCoy shook his head. "It doesn't make any sense."

"Do you have a cause of death?"

"That's just the thing, there is nothing physically wrong with her that would have lead to death. Even the bleeding was minor. It's as if her brain just...stopped."

"Bones, I think it's time to admit that we are dealing with something that traditional medicine and science doesn't understand."

"If that is the case we are in big trouble because as I'm sure you've noticed there is absolutely nothing I can do to keep Spock from dying."

"We'll think of something. I can't accept that there's no solution."

"A situation like this doesn't care what you do and don't accept." Bones replied seriously. "You can't change the rules of the game to win this time."

"I know."

"Captain?" Spock's voice came in over the intercom.

"Yes, Spock?"

"The information from the Carpathia is ready for review."

"Can you make it to the briefing room?" Kirk asked.

"Yes, Captain."

"McCoy and I will meet you there."

"Very well."

"I'd offer him a wheelchair if I thought for one second he'd use it." Bones muttered.

"I think we both know he'd crawl on his belly through broken glass before admitting he needs a wheelchair."

Bones nodded ruefully causing a slight smile to touch Kirk's lips. The pair walked together to the briefing room in silence. Spock was waiting for them, sitting at the briefing room table. When he looked up at them Kirk noticed that there was blood streaked across his cheek. Kirk knew it was from where he had tried to brush away the blood tears that occasionally slipped from his stained eyes.

"Spock," McCoy said "please, go back to bed. You need to rest."

"My time is growing short, Doctor, I do not wish to waste it laying in a bed staring pointlessly at the ceiling. It is not a logical use of my remaining energy."

"It would give you more time."

"There is no point to extending life if you are unable to contribute. I would rather live five minutes in purposefully industry than live five years in unproductive idleness."

"Gentlemen," Kirk interrupted "let's not have this argument now. I want to review the tape of the last Captain's log first."

Spock nodded and began tapping on the screen set into the briefing room table. A video of a mature female Captain blinked to life on the screen. Although there was no panic in her eyes there was stress. Before staring with her recording she closed her eyes briefly and sighed heavily.

"As the Captain of a rescue vessel I have had to relay bad news to survivors that their shipmates have perished. However, today I had to deliver the most difficult news of my life to a group of seven unknowing survivors of a catastrophe of devastating scale. There is no delicate way to inform someone that everything and most likely everyone they've ever known is gone. There are no words to adequately console someone who has suddenly become a member of an endangered species."

"It would appear, Captain," Spock interjected "that there were indeed Vulcans aboard the Carpathia."

"Earlier today," the Captain of the Carpathia continued "we picked up a very weak beacon from what we believed to be an uninhabited planet in the Leen star system. A landing party discovered a group of seven stranded Vulcans. They are in bad shape not only physically, but mentally as well. I would describe them as almost listless in nature. I know that Vulcans are famous for their lack of emotion, but upon hearing of the destruction of Vulcan they became nearly catatonic.

From what little I could learn from them they were left on the planet a few weeks before the catastrophe as a research team. According to records we found at their camp site there were twenty-two of them at that time. They had expected to be picked up from the planet within six months of being set down on the surface. However, it stands to reason that anyone who knew of their research was killed on Vulcan and therefore no one knew to retrieve them.

Characteristics of the Leenian sun make sub-space communication difficult at best, and of course the party was attempting to contact a world that no longer existed. Without sub-space communication they constructed the emergency beacon from their scientific equipment and waited.

The seven survivors will not speak of what became of the rest of their team. Food and water are plentiful on this planet so it is doubtful that the others fell victim to cannibalism. With what I know about Vulcan lifespan it seems unusual to me that such a great number of the research party would die over such a short period of time. No efforts are being made to recover any possible bodies, however, the landing party reported seeing what they believed to be a small collection of graves.

We do know that one of the Vulcans is gravely ill. He is so close to death that he remains locked in a light coma. His teammates claim to not understand his illness, and refuse to speak further on the subject. The Leenian sun is causing havoc with our own sub-space communication system, however, I believe I have managed to send a high priority message to Starfleet to inform them that we are in dire need of help with our new Vulcan passengers and that we intend to take them directly to Natala. However we will keep them aboard until we are certain that whatever the Vulcan is suffering from is not contagious."

The recording ended without any further entries. If the Captain of the Carpathia was aware of any danger she never reported it. Kirk looked over and found that Spock had his fingertips gently touching one another as he thought about what he had learned.

"Fascinating." Spock muttered.

"Spock?"

"The Captain of the Carpathia is correct, it is unlikely that the majority of the research team died due to age. Nor is it likely that so many of them would enter pon farr during their time on the Leenian planet and thus fall to the conditions I find myself under."

"What do you think happened to them?"

"One logical conclusion is that one or two of the team was driven insane and began murdering the others until the survivors were forced to kill the affected in self defense. This would also explain the poor mental state of the remaining seven. Murder does not come easily to Vulcans, even if is in self defense."

Kirk rocked back in his chair and stared at the ceiling. Part of him had been convinced that they were somehow going to find some answers to the Vulcan problem aboard the Carpathia. Now the mystery had only deepened. Running on almost no sleep he was about to order everyone at the table to take a five hour break. Before he could relay his orders the teams still on the ship hailed him.

"Captain here."

"Sir, we found something strange."

"What is it?"

"Several of the walls are covered in mathematical text in what appears to be green paint."

"I believe, Captain," Spock said "that you will find it is not paint, but rather Vulcan blood."

"There is also a painting of a Vulcan woman."

"Send us images." Kirk ordered.

"Aye, Sir, transmitting now."

The images of the writing were the first to come through. Kirk couldn't be certain, but they looked to be the same equations that Spock had been obsessed with. Much like Spock's painting the last few equations had been erased. When the image of the Vulcan female appeared on the screen Bones gasped sharply.

Although the painting had been done hastily it was clearly Saavik. The painting was from the perspective of outside the ship looking in as she knelt on the floor with her hands pressed against the observation deck window glass. Kirk noticed that McCoy was avoiding looking at the painting after his first glance at it.

"Captain," Spock said softly "I believe that this painting explains Saavik's death."

"How so?"

"Under the influence of the Vulcine she was most likely in direct contact with this Vulcan's mind when the ship was destroyed. The sudden and violent death of the Vulcan during such a connection could have conceivably lead to Saavik's instant death as well."

"What about the writing?"

"It is the same set of equations that I was unable to finish. There are elements of the equations that neither myself nor this Vulcan posses. However, I believe I now know who holds the missing elements."

"What? Why didn't you say something sooner?"

"Because I was still uncertain."

"Well who is it?" Kirk asked.

"You, Captain."

"Me? Spock, I don't know if you've ever looked at my grades from the Academy, but I can assure you I did not do that well in advanced physics."

"There is no one at the Academy who understands this particular equations." Spock informed. "We are dealing with information that will not be widely available to the galaxy for another hundred years."

"Then what makes you think the Captain understands it?" Bones asked.

"He has touched minds with the alternate version of myself. Mind melds always leave an impression on both minds since for a time they become one."

"You're saying I have the information without even knowing it."

"Yes, Captain."

"Can we access it?"

"I may be able to find it if I search your mind." Spock admitted.

"Let's do it."

"Captain, it will be extremely dangerous to do so."

"How dangerous?" Bones asked.

"It could kill us both, or leave the Captain insane."

"Let's do it." Kirk said without hesitation.

"Jim, weren't you listening? The Enterprise can't afford to lose both her First Officer and her Captain."

"Bones, I'm not going to just stand by while Spock and half of what's left of the Vulcan species dies. If there is a chance that there is an answer here, I want to find it. Spock, what do I have to do?"

"It would be best for us both to be sitting on the floor."

Kirk got to his feet and helped Spock do the same. Away from the other crew members Spock was more willing to accept assistance. Spock sat down on the floor with his back to the wall for added support. Kirk sat down in front of him so that they faced one another. Bones hovered over the pair. He looked like he wanted to protest, but kept his opinions to himself.

"Doctor," Spock said "you must not physically separate us even if something should appear to be going wrong. Severing the connection between the Captain and myself will do far more harm than good no matter what the situation is."

"I understand. Spock...try not to kill our Captain."

"It is my intention to see that he is unharmed."

"Bones, sit down, you're making me nervous." Kirk ordered.

McCoy gave Kirk a sour look, but he followed instructions. Once everyone was settled Spock took a few deep breaths. He reached out and gently placed his fingertips on the Captain's face. Kirk was sharply reminded of the first time he'd experienced a mind meld, it was a sensation that defied description.

Kirk tensed as Spock's mind flooded into his own. There was an intense pain as Spock's mental and physical anguish became part of his own mind. As a human Kirk did not have the same coping mechanisms as Spock to deal with the strain. He heard someone cry out without even realizing that it was his own voice.

As the chaos in his mind intensified Kirk arched back with another heart-wrenching scream. As quickly as the pain had come it was gone, replaced by a terrifying feeling of emptiness. He felt himself falling back, but before he hit the floor a set of hands caught him. Breathing heavily Kirk forced himself to sit back up. Reaching up he touched his hand to his face. When he pulled his hand back he discovered that it was covered in bright red blood from a severe nose bleed.

"What happened?"

"Spock passed out." Bones informed. "Tilt you head back, it will help stop the bleeding."

"Is he okay?"

"I don't know. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, help him."

"I do not requite assistance." Spock spoke up as he woke.

"Did you find what you were looking for?"

"I believe so."

Spock started trying to stand so McCoy left the Captain's side to help him. The trio returned to their places at the briefing room table. Spock pulled up the image of his own writing and began to draw over the missing parts of the equations. When he was done he stared at his work in horror. Kirk could see him working and reworking the logic over and over in his mind.

"Spock?"

"Gentlemen...I believe our situation is far graver than we thought."

"How can the situation possible be any worse than it already is?" Bones demanded.

"I believe that the Vulcan voices are not cries of panic, but rather a chaotic warning."

"A warning?"

"According to the known rules of physics the Vulcan black hole should continue to orbit the sun as the planet once did. In order to become trapped in the gravitational field of a black hole one must approach the Schwarzschild radius of the black hole, where the escape velocity equals the speed of light. This is sometimes called the event horizon. The Vulcan black hole is of such low mass that it should not effect the orbit of the planet nor its sun."

"Can you explain that a little better?" Kirk asked.

"Think of it this way, Captain, if the Earth's sun was replaced by a black hole of the same mass the Earth would not be 'sucked into it', the Earth would circle the black hole just as it circled the sun since only contact with the event horizon causes the gravitation 'point of no escape'. Even with the considerable mass of Earth's sun one would have to approach a mere 3 kilometers from the singularity to become trapped."

"So the Vulcan black hole is just circling around its sun as it always did."

"No, Captain, that is what it should be doing. However, due to the fact that the black hole was created by red matter the normal rules of physics are not applying. Although small in appearance the Vulcan black hole is acting like a super massive black hole even though it still has the same Schwarzschild radius."

"I take it that this is bad news somehow." Bones muttered.

"Super massive black holes where they do not belong are very dangerous, Doctor. If the equations that I have written are correct in this case the artificial black hole is breaking its orbit with the Vulcan sun. It is steadily drawing the sun closer to its own event horizon."

"And that means...?"

"When the super massive black hole collides with the Vulcan sun it will not be able to consume the mass in a uniform manner. It will begin to tear the sun apart and an accretion disc will develop. From the disc an enormous high intensity jet of gamma radiation will stream from the poles and pierce through the heart of the Milky Way galaxy."

"Gamma radiation?" Bones repeated in alarm. "That's dangerous stuff."

"Yes, Doctor, if these calculations are even close to correct the jet will affect eighty-four to nighty percent of the inhabited systems in the Milky Way."

"Wait a minute, Spock," Kirk's blood suddenly ran cold "what do you mean by 'affect'."

"Kill."

"What?!"

"If the red matter black hole is allowed to come in contact with the star that it orbits Vulcans will not be the only endangered species. Eighty-four to ninety percent of life in our galaxy will die as a result."


	32. Chapter 32

NOTE from the PHOENIX: I'm here in Indiana! My sister-in-law had a healthy six pound, ten ounce baby boy! He came a week early and as such he has no name yet. Giggle.

Chapter Thirty-three

"Spock, are you trying to tell me that if we don't figure out a way to stop the Vulcan black hole that more than half the galaxy is going to die?!" Bones demanded.

"Since eighty-four to ninety percent is more than half: yes, that is exactly what I am trying to tell you."

"That's insane!" Bones protested.

"Easy, Bones." Kirk said. "Spock, how much time do we have?"

"Unknown, Captain."

"Any guesses?"

"I don't..."

"Right, right, you don't guess." Kirk interrupted. "Can you use these equations to figure it out?"

"The math involved at the moment is too complicated for me."

"Too complicated for you, Spock?" Bones asked in disbelief. "At least the galaxy has lasted long enough for me to hear those words."

"I cannot be expected to know everything, Doctor...I am half human after all."

"Why you pointy-ea..."

"Gentlemen, enough. Spock, what would it take to get a timeline, even a rough one?"

"We must return to the Vulcan black hole and measure how far it is from the sun. If we compare that measurement to one taken while Vulcan was still whole we can estimate how quickly the black hole is drawing the sun towards itself."

"What about you?"

"I do not understand the question, Captain."

"Spock, I think what the Captain means is: won't taking you back to the black hole kill you?" Bones clarified.

"Possibly." Spock agreed. "However, I believe it must be done. It is important to know if we have five or five thousand years to develop a solution."

"What about solving your problem?" Bones asked.

"The fate of the galaxy is more important that my own life or even the lives of all the remaining Vulcans." Spock replied sincerely. "However, I do not believe that these goals are mutually exclusive."

"You think if we solve this whole black hole eating the sun and destroying life as we know it that the Vulcan souls will settle?" Kirk asked.

"It is a distinct possibility. For the sake of my species and the galaxy the Vulcan black hole must be stopped."

"Great...how do we do that?" McCoy asked.

"I am unsure that such a task is feasible." Spock replied. "A natural black hole is difficult enough to fathom the inner workings of, this artificial black hole is already acting contrary to physics as we know them. A black hole the mass of Vulcan should not even truly be possible since the planet did not contain enough mass to create a singularity."

"I see." Bones said even though he didn't.

Suddenly tasting metal Spock swallowed the small amount of blood that had risen from the back of his throat. Fearing his own time was running out to help solve this problem he poured all of his concentration into a viable solution. His mind whirled with possibilities, but each one proved to be impractical or illogical. Frustrated with his inability to come to an answer he started rocking back and forth.

"Spock?" Kirk asked in concern.

"Yes, Captain?"

"Are you feeling alright?"

"My feelings at the moment are irrelevant." Spock replied.

"I meant physically."

"Jim, the rocking is a side effect of the Vulandin." Bones explained. "He can't help it."

Spock forced himself to stop rocking, hadn't even realized he was doing it. As soon as he went back to thinking the pointless motion returned. He jerked violently as Kirk put his hand on his shoulder to stop his rocking.

"I'm sorry, Spock, I didn't mean to startle you."

"I am having difficulty thinking, Captain."

"Perhaps we should try thinking out loud." McCoy suggested.

"Vulcans are not telepathic in that manner, Doctor."

"I meant talking."

"In that case all three of us should be able to participate. A fine suggestion, Doctor." Spock nodded. "Where shall we begin?"

"I don't suppose one can blow up a black hole?" McCoy suggested.

"No, Doctor, any amount of energy placed into an explosion would be drawn into the event horizon and make the black hole even stronger."

"What about somehow stabilizing the black hole's orbit?" Kirk asked.

"That was one of my first thoughts." Spock nodded.

"However?"

"However, I can not think of any practical way to accomplish stabilization. Gravity is an amazingly powerful force and in time it will always win. The physics that hold a planet in orbit are complicated and now that they have been upset by the red matter I do not believe they can be corrected."

"Is there anything the Vulcans within the black hole can do?" Bones asked.

"Yes, warn us." Spock answered seriously.

"Well, we are warned. Do you think they could stop killing you now?"

"Doctor, you are assuming that the state of the Vulcan population within the confines of the black hole have traditional intelligence and thought patterns. I do not believe it works that way."

"And just how do you believe it does work?"

"I do not know, however, I do know that if the Vulcan black hole was conscious the way you are suggesting that it would not be doing such damage to its own people."

"Spock, is there anyway to reverse the black hole?" Kirk asked to keep the men on track.

"Captain, if such a solution existed I would have brought it up long ago."

"Right, I'm sorry." Kirk sighed. "There has to be a solution."

"Actually it is very possible that we are currently in a no win situation." Spock pointed.

"Damn it, Spock, you know I don't believe in no win scenarios."

"Your belief in them is not a prerequisite for their existence."

Kirk reached up and pinched the bridge of his nose, something he was doing more and more often as time passed. He and McCoy starting batting more illogical ideas back and forth between one another. Spock was finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate and was beginning to rock again when an icy stab of anxiety lanced through his chest.

"Nyota!" Spock gasped breathlessly.

"Spo..."

Kirk didn't get a chance to ask what was wrong. Spock scrambled to his feet and clawed his way up onto and then over the table to get to the door. Bones and Kirk both jumped up to get out of the Vulcan's way. His recent behavior had started to make even the Captain a little nervous around him.

Spock had no intention to harm his friends, but at the same time it was clear that he wasn't about to let anyone get in his way either. Rushing out into the hallway he stumbled and fell to his hands and knees. Kirk and Bones hurried to his sides and lifted Spock back to his feet. Spock tore himself away from them and bolted for the turbo lift. Kirk and McCoy barely made it onto the lift before the doors shut behind them.

Once in the lift Spock wrapped his arms over his stomach and panted for breath. With his heart thumping hard against his ribs it was all he could do to keep from retching. Kirk and Bones exchanged a worried glance with one another. Spock was still trying to catch his breath from the mad dash to the lift.

"Spock, what in Spacedust is going on?" Bones demanded.

Spock tried to respond, but his throat had closed up on him. When the lift door open he pushed himself away from the wall and staggered towards his quarters. Finally feeling like they understood what Spock was attempting to do Kirk and McCoy slipped under Spock's arms and helped him. He was trying to run, but he felt more like he was crawling. Arriving at his quarters Spock slammed his palm against the contact that would open the door.

"Nyota!" Spock cried. "Nyota!"

"Spock? Spock!"

Uhura's distressed voice was coming from the bedroom. Spock bolted into the room with Kirk and McCoy close on his heels. Uhura was laying on the bed fully dressed with her hand clutched to her chest over her heart. Spock crawled up on the bed and carded one of his hands into her dark hair. She looked up at him with terror in her eyes.

"Nyota?"

"I...I can't...breath..." Nyota panted.

"Doctor." Spock looked desperately at McCoy.

Bones was already reaching out to press his fingers against her throat. Uhura was trembling violently and when touched by McCoy she began dry heaving uncontrollably. Feeling helpless Spock gently ran his hand through her hair to try and calm her. Sweat was beading her skin, but she felt cold to the touch. McCoy pulled away with a clinical expression frozen on his face.

"We need to get her to medical now, her heart is out of control."

Spock nodded and collected Uhura in his arm. When Spock tried to lift his ailing wife off the bed his strength failed him. Kirk instantly stepped in and took Uhura himself. Kirk lifted her easily and carried her towards the door. She whimpered like a lost kitten as she was taken from Spock and lashed out grab his hand.

"It's okay, Uhura," Kirk soothed "we're here. We're going to help you."

"Nurse Chapel," Bones called down to medical through the intercom "get ER ready."

"Yes, Doctor."

Uhura gripped Spock's hand painfully tight as the Captain took her out into the hall. Spock could hear her gasping painfully for every breath. Shocked by the sudden turn in her heath he felt his own chest tightening, making it difficult for him to breath as well. Having already taxed himself getting this far Spock's step faltered on their way down the hallway. Uhura cried out in panic as his hand was torn from hers as he fell.

"Come on, Spock," McCoy coached as he tried to help Spock up "on your feet."

"Just go, get her to medical. I will be there shortly."

"Spo..."

"Go!"

McCoy nodded and caught up with Kirk as he continued to carry Uhura away. On his hands and knees Spock closed his eyes and bowed his head for a moment. The Vulandin was doing nothing to keep his fear at bay. He ground his teeth together and tried to rein in his emotions.

"Control yourself." Spock growled to himself. "You are a Vulcan...act like one."

Taking a deep breath Spock pushed his panic for Uhura to the back of his mind. Getting to his feet he stood up straight with his shoulders held back. Every step took effort, but he made it look as though he was walking naturally. Even in the lift he continued his act. Arriving at medical he was greeted by Kirk.

"Spock, I was just coming to find you."

"Where is she?"

"McCoy took her back into emergency, he wants us to stay here for right now."

Spock furrowed his brow, trying to decide if he was going to follow the doctor's orders or not. Eventually he decided that McCoy's request was a logical one, Spock would most likely only get in the way in the emergency room. Spock jerked slightly as Kirk put his hand on his shoulder.

"Spock, you'd better sit down before you fall down."

"Very well." Spock agreed and sat in one of the waiting room chairs.

"What happened?"

"I do not know."

"But you knew something was wrong."

"It was a vague feeling, but with recent events it was enough to alarm me."

"Understandable." Kirk nodded. "She's going to be okay. She's in good hands."

"The best."

Spock hadn't meant his words as a mere compliment, he truly believed that there was no one more qualified to care for Uhura. As much as he sometimes disapproved of the doctor's techniques for being 'barbaric' he had seen McCoy have positive results time and time again.

With nothing to do but wait for news Spock began rocking once again. He closed his eyes as bile stung the back of his throat. Fearful anticipation was twisting his stomach painfully. It was a new sensation that he did not find pleasant. He rubbed at his sour stomach, but it did nothing to settle it.

"Captain, I believe I require more Vulandin."

"Are you hearing voices?"

"No, but I am experiencing a great deal of fear."

"I'm worried too, it's perfectly natural, Spock."

"Not for a Vulcan." Spock growled.

"It's the price for loving someone."

"Perhaps I should never have allowed myself the luxury of falling in love."

"You don't mean that."

"No...I do not."

The pair fell into an anxious silence. Spock added rubbing his wrists to his compulsive rocking. Kirk did nothing to stop Spock feeling that it might actually be helping his friend burn off his nervous energy. It seemed like hours before Bones appeared in the waiting room. Spock instantly got to his feet.

"Doctor..."

"She's okay, Spock." McCoy assured. "So is the baby."

"Bones, what happened?" Kirk asked.

"Stress, Jim. She had a full blown panic attack. They can sometimes mimic heart attacks."

"Can you help her?" Spock asked.

"Yes. With her pregnancy it makes matters a little more difficult, but I have her under a mild sedative."

"May I see her?"

"Of course."

Spock hesitated for a moment as his own anxiety spiked again. Shaking his head to clear it he made his way into the next room. Uhura was on the soft topped exam table with a thick blanket draped over her. With her head lolled to the side she looked to be peacefully sleeping. When Spock stepped up to her bedside she fluttered her eyes open.

"Spock...I'm so sorry." Uhura whispered.

"It is not your fault. Far more stress has been placed on you than is fair."

"I don't even know what happened." Uhura said as she struggled to stay awake. "I was fine one moment and then the next I thought I was dying."

"Try to sleep."

Uhura nodded as she closed her eyes again. Spock leaned in and kissed her brow causing her to smile. Spock waited until she had given into the sedatives before returning to the waiting room. Kirk and Bones had been quietly talking to one another but they stopped when they caught sight of Spock.

"Thank you, Doctor."

"Of course, Spock."

"She is resting comfortably. Must she spend the night here?"

"No." McCoy assured. "In fact I believe she would do better if she was in her own bed."

"Captain, I am officially on duty for the next three hou..."

"Spock, take care of Uhura. That's an order."

"Thank you, Captain."

"I'll arrange for an orderly to take her up to your quarters." Bones announced.

"Thank you."

"Spock, how are you doing?"

"I am as well as can be expected."

"That doesn't really answer my question."

"I am not in need of your medical attention."

McCoy gave Spock a doubtful look before he left to have Uhura transferred. As soon as the doctor was gone Spock nearly collapsed. Kirk was just in time to help ease him into one of the chairs. Spock closed his eyes and for a moment he was in danger of falling asleep.

"Spock? Should I call McCoy back?"

"No, Captain. I will recover."

"Take all the time you need."

"Time is something I have little of."

"I know. I'm going to talk to Starfleet, get them up to speed on what we've learned. Once they know that the entire galaxy is at stake every effort is going to be made to stop that black hole."

"I do not believe it can be done."

"It can, and we will."

Kirk reached into his shirt collar and pulled Spock's insignia pin off his undershirt. He leaned down and pinned it back on Spock's uniform where it belonged. Spock looked down at the metal thoughtfully.

"Thank you, Captain. I will continue to work on the problem."

"Right now I want you to work on getting Uhura better."

Spock nodded and with Kirk's help he got back to his feet. Uhura had been moved to a gurney and Spock accompanied her back to their quarters. The orderly offered to lift the sleeping woman up and place her in bed, but Spock insisted on doing it himself. It was sheer force of will that gave Spock the strength to carry her the short distance into bed.

The orderly left the couple alone. Uhura was still locked in sleep. Suddenly no longer tired Spock sat up in the bed with his back against the wall. Uhura instinctively curled up tightly against him and used his lap as a pillow. Spock looked down at her and gently brushed her temple with his fingertips. Spock felt a hot tear tumble down his cheek. He reached up and brushed it away. He didn't look at the back of his hand, he knew that it would now be stained green with blood.

"I do not wish to lose you, Nyota." Spock whispered. "Neither through your death or my own. However, I am at a loss as to what to do. There seems to be no logical solution."

Uhura didn't hear the one sided conversation. She twitched slightly in her sleep and nestled closer to Spock. Anubis jumped up on the bed and rubbed his soft furry body against the pair with a deep purr. Unaware of anything being wrong Anubis jumped down off the bed again.

Wandering over to a group of toys that Uhura had purchased for him Anubis picked out a large yellow ball of yarn and began playing with it. Spock watched the cat bat the ball around to try and keep his mind off the increasing chance of death. Anubis rolled over onto his back with the ball of brightly colored yarn between his paws.

Spock furrowed his slanted brow in thought as he continued to observe Anubis. Finding a weak point on the yellow ball of yarn Anubis began to unravel it. It wasn't long before the ball of yarn was just a heap of string spread out across the floor. Spock stared at the destruction, suddenly having a new thought. Careful not to disturb Uhura Spock got out of bed and went over to the intercom.

"Captain?"

"Spock? You alright? McCoy's still here with me, do you need to talk to him?"

"No, Captain, I believe I may have found a solution."

"Really?"

"If we can not destroy the black hole perhaps we can destroy the sun."

"Destroy a sun?" Bones broke into the conversation. "How? Blow it up?"

"No, Doctor, an explosion powerful enough to destroy the Vulcan sun would send the black hole spinning through space where it would eventually cause great damage."

"Then how do you propose we 'destroy' it?"

"Trilithium."

"What the devil is trilithium?" Bones demanded.

"Trilithium, Doctor, is a synthetic explosive. However, it is also a powerful inhibitor of nuclear reactions. If the fusion that fuels the Vulcan sun could be stopped the star would collapse in on itself. It is not large enough to supernova so the result would be a small cold white dwarf star. This star would be small enough to be quickly swallowed by the black hole and thus avoiding the accretion disc and subsequent burst of gamma radiation."

"Spock," Kirk interjected "I hate to ruin such a good idea, but we don't even know if trilithium exists. Our intel on that stuff is sketchy at best."

"Even if it does not exist now with the help of the scientists that have been working on developing it we may be able to produce enough to stop the Vulcan sun. It would take a very small quantity."

"I don't know, Spock," Kirk continued "getting that 'help' would take a miracle."

"Who are the scientists working on it?" Bones asked.

"The Romulans." Kirk and Spock answered in unison.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter Thirty-four

"Oh no, you can just forget it!" Bones protested loud enough to make the intercom crackle. "I just got my ears off!"

"Take it easy, Bones, no one is suggesting we dress up as Romulans just yet."

"The Captain is correct." Spock said. "Such an action would be useless. Even I could not pass as a convincing Romulan long enough to gain access to any lab that may contain trilitium. At present we do not even know if the compound truly exists."

"And just how do you propose we find out?" McCoy demanded.

"The most logical course of action would be to ask."

"Ask?" Kirk and McCoy repeated simultaneously.

"Yes, that is where one poses a question in hopes of gaining infor..."

"Spock," Kirk interrupted "we know what 'ask' means...but we are talking about the Romulans here."

"I am aware of that, Captain."

"Then I assume you are aware that the Romulans and, well just about everyone else in the galaxy, aren't exactly on friendly terms."

"They will put aside that hate for the good of the galaxy." Spock said confidently.

"Are you sure about that?" McCoy questioned.

"It is only logical."

"Despite a common ancestor Romulans aren't like Vulcans, Spock." Kirk pointed out needlessly. "They are not prone to fits of logic."

"Captain," Spock sighed "it is increasingly difficult for me to stand. May we continue this conversation in the morning?"

"Yes, of course."

"Thank you. Until that time I suggest that the Enterprise begin a journey to Starbase 275 at maximum Warp."

"The one closest to Romulus and the Neutral Zone?"

"Precisely."

"Alright, but I'm not sold on striking up a conversation with the Romulans just yet."

"Understood, Captain."

Spock leaned against the wall for a few minutes trying to catch his breath. Tasting metal again he reached up and brushed his fingertips across his lips. Inspecting his hand he found a smear of bright emerald blood. Just as the Vulandin had destroyed the capillaries in his eyes it was bursting the delicate venous system in his lungs.

"So that is how I am to die...drowning."

The muttering hadn't been in self-pity, it was just a statement of fact. Walking back into the bedroom he stared down at Uhura sleeping peacefully. Anubis had given up on his yarn toy and was curled up next to her. Anubis meowed in protest when Spock moved him to take his place. Spock gathered Uhura up in his arms as he laid down and gently brushed her cheek.

"Spock?" Uhura asked sleepily.

"I am here, Nyota."

"The baby?"

"Our child is unharmed by the events."

"I don't know what happened..."

"Do not worry about it now." Spock interrupted gently.

Uhura nodded and nuzzled against Spock's chest. The pressure made it increasingly difficult to breath, but Spock kept quiet about it. Resting his cheek against the top of her head he reached up and softly stroked her hair. He took as deep a breath as he could manage to take in her scent.

"Nyota?"

"Yes?"

"I fear I must do something that has a high probability of cutting our time together short."

"What do you mean?"

"I need to talk to the Romulans."

"They do not respond to hails on any frequencies other than their own."

"I know, which I why I must go talk to them in person."

"What?!" Uhura pushed herself up to look into Spock's eyes. "You can't be serious."

"I am."

"They'll kill you!"

"That is a distinct possibility." Spock nodded. "Never the less, I am going to speak with them."

"Do I have any say in this decision?"

"No."

Uhura glared defiantly at Spock, however he was not about to back down. When her dark eyes brightened with tears Spock reached out and cupped her jaw in his hand. Guiding her closer he kissed her with the passion of a soldier leaving for war. By the time he released her tears were streaming down her beautiful face.

"I am sorry, Nyota."

"No, don't apologize." Uhura shook her head. "I know you wouldn't be going if it wasn't important."

"The continuation of life in this galaxy depends on the cooperation of the Romulans."

"When are you leaving?"

"This may be our last night together."

Uhura closed her eyes against the devastating news. Spock suddenly found it increasingly difficult to breath. This time his difficulties were coming from unchecked emotion rather than his declining medical condition. Holding Uhura tightly he silently comforted her. Uhura worked hard to bring her own emotions under control.

"Are you going alone?" Nyota asked quietly.

"It is my desire to travel alone. However, the Captain out ranks me and I believe he will insist on accompanying me. I have no logical way to stop him."

"Good."

"I do not feel the same. Should we fail it will be a waste to have one of the finest Starfleet Captains killed needlessly."

"The Romulans won't kill Kirk." Nyota said confidently. "That man's a jackrabbit, full of tricks. He'll bring you back to me alive."

"I certainly hope so."

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoO

It was late in the artificial afternoon when the Enterprise arrived at Starbase 275. Spock had tried to say good-bye to Uhura, but she insisted that he would be back and that there was no need for parting words. Accepting her optimism even if he did not share it Spock had kissed her and briefly touched her belly before departing.

Spock had asked the Captain and McCoy to meet him once more in the briefing room to discuss the most logical course of action. Both of the men were already waiting for him there. McCoy was pacing around like a tiger in a cage. Spock entered the room and took a seat to conserve energy. He had slept surprisingly well the night before and was feeling stronger.

"Spock," McCoy greeted caustically "you're out of your damn Vulcan mind."

"You have passed judgement without hearing what I have to say."

"I already know it involves Romulans, that's all I need to pass judgment. Need I remind you that they destroyed your entire planet?"

"That is a memory I doubt I will be quick to forget." Spock returned evenly. "However, it was not Romulus that ordered the destruction of Vulcan. It was a single misguided soul, tortured and driven insane by grief."

"Are you telling me that you forgive Nero for what he did?"

"I don't forgive him, I understand him."

McCoy stared at Spock in pure disbelief. Spock returned the look with a passive expression on his face. Out of all the humans he had met in his lifetime he understood the doctor least of all. McCoy's mix of clinical detachment and compassionate emotionalism was a balance that Spock could not fathom.

"Spock," Kirk said "you had mentioned something about talking to the Romulans, but from everything I know about them they don't take calls from members of the Federation. They don't even talk to Vulcan, do they?"

"Romulans despise Vulcans above of all." Spock replied evenly.

"And you think they are going to help you?" Bones asked.

"No, not me. The galaxy. Despite being emotion driven they will know that to sit back and watch everything, themselves included, die is senseless."

"Even if the Romulans could be reasoned with," Kirk said "how are we going to get in contact with them?"

"By violating the Neutral Zone and traveling into Romulan territory. They are quick to capture any ship that enters their sector, from there I will be able to gain an audience with the Romulans."

"Why would they listen to a Vulcan?" Bones asked.

"They will not see me as a Vulcan first, they will see me as a Starfleet Officer of notable rank. I am a valuable creature to converse with."

"Yeah, right, 'converse'." Bones rolled his eyes. "They'll torture you for fun. When they're done they'll slaughter you, and sell your sickly green blood on the black market."

"What?" Kirk asked confused. "Black market?"

"Vulcan blood has become highly valuable on the off market trade." Spock clarified.

"Why?"

"As an aphrodisiac." Bones huffed.

"Bones," Kirk shook his head sadly "I'm officially disturbed that you know that."

"It's ridiculous if you ask me, the one species in the galaxy without an ounce of passion in them."

"It is a common fate for any endangered species to be seen as having magical qualities." Spock said with a slight shrug.

"It's disgusting."

"I agree, Doctor, but it remains a fact."

Feeling a tickle in the back of his throat Spock coughed against the back of his hand. Knowing that his hand would now be spattered in the valuable blood they had been taling about he quickly hide it under the table to avoid the pity of his friends. Spock turned his attention away from McCoy and looked directly at the Captain.

"I must travel to Romulus, Captain."

"Agreed." Kirk nodded. "And don't think for a minute that McCoy and I aren't coming with you."

"I feared that you would. However, I also know that it would be an illogical waste of time to attempt to talk you out of it."

"Nice to know we are all on the same page." Kirk smiled.

"For once." Bones grumbled.

"There is a problem," Kirk said "there is no way that Starfleet is going to sanction taking the Enterprise into Romulan space. For one it is a massive breach of the treaty, and for another I can't in good conscious order the rest of the crew into such a dangerous mission."

"I never had any intention of using the Enterprise for this mission, Captain."

"That's why you wanted to stop at this Starbase," Kirk grinned from ear to ear "to steal another ship."

"I believe the proper term in this case is to 'commender'." Spock replied.

"Commender my ass." Bones snorted.

"That statement does not make sense, Doctor."

"Gentlemen," Kirk broke up the pair before they could get at one another's throats again "I think we need to think about jumping ship immediately."

"Agreed." Spock nodded.

"This is insane." Bones pointed out.

"Does that mean you're not coming with us?" Kirk teased.

"Of course I'm coming with you. Who else is going to patch you two up after the Romulans are through with you?"

"My thoughts exactly, Bones."

"Are we even going to tell Starfleet what we are up to?" Bones asked.

"Absolutely not. They'd never go for it. They'd want to set up some sort of Council to try and talk to the Romulans, it could take months. And although the black hole isn't going to swallow up the sun anytime soon, Spock is quickly running out of time."

"Captain, there is no guarantee that stopping the Vulcan sun will save my life."

"There's no guarantee that it won't."

Spock lifted his eyebrows the way he did whenever the Captain bent the rules of logic to suit him. Kirk got up and went to help Spock do the same. Refusing the help Spock was able to get to his feet on his own. With Bones tagging along behind the left the halls of the Enterprise and stepped aboard the Starbase. Once on the Starbase Kirk used his communicator to talk to the ship.

"Scotty?"

"Aye, Sir?"

"Mr. Spock, Dr. McCoy, and myself are going to do some research here on the Starbase. You're in charge until we get back."

"Aye, Sir."

"And if we don't come back?" McCoy asked darkly.

"Then I guess Scotty gets a permanent promotion."

The trio made their way down to the hanger deck. Dressed in their Starfleet uniforms no one questioned their right to be there. Spock kept up with the brisk walk pace of the Captain as best he could, however, McCoy's keen medical eye could see him struggling. Rather than confront Spock about it Bones tugged on Kirk's shirt to slow him down.

The hanger bay was full of ships of all makes and models. The Starbase was not only a popular port for Federation craft, but merchants, and rich tourists as well. They walked the rows of small and mid-sized ships looking for the best target. Bones stopped in front of a sturdy looking craft with a box like design.

"How about this one?" McCoy suggested.

"That craft is not fancy enough." Spock replied as he continued searching.

"Fancy? This one looks safe. Why does it have to be flashy?"

"Bones, if the Romulans don't want the ship we chose they'll blow it into space-dust before they even think to figure out who's onboard." Kirk explained.

"Ah." Bones looked around. "In that case, let's take that one."

Kirk and Spock turned to the ship that Bones was pointing out. The hull glittered with an iridescent sheen and sported bright gold trim. With sleek curves and large fins she looked fast even when she was just sitting there. About ten times larger than a shuttle craft the ship would be more than capable of traveling all the way to Romulus. Kirk smiled brightly and threw his arm over McCoy's shoulders.

"Bones, you have excellent taste in ships."

"Only when my life depends on it."

"What do you think, Spock?"

"No Romulan could resist a ship of this caliber." Spock nodded in approval.

"So what are we going to do...just walk up and take it?" Bones asked.

"Something like that." Kirk grinned. "Watch and learn."

Kirk straightened his uniform and marched with a purpose towards the ship. Spock and McCoy exchanged a glance before following. Kirk walked up to the craft that was using anti-gravity to hover a few feet off the deck floor. After looking at it critically for a moment he looked around for a hanger worker.

"You there!" Kirk called to someone sweeping the floor.

"Yes, Sir?"

"Who is this craft registered to?"

"Uh...Alistar Carter, Sir."

"I thought so."

"Is there a problem?" The worker asked.

"Yes. Who is the deck manager on duty?"

"Tarrin."

"Go get him at once!" Kirk ordered.

"Yes, Sir." The worker replied and scurried away.

"Jim, do you think the best way to steal something is to first alert the authorities?"

"Just play along."

McCoy sighed heavily and kept quiet. The worker returned with Tarrin. Upon seeing three Starfleet Officers on his deck his back instantly straightened. Kirk put his hands on his hips to add to his forbidding appearance. Arriving at the trio Tarrin glanced at Spock's ears and swallowed hard.

"How many I help you, Sirs?" Tarrin asked.

"I must ask your deck assistant to leave, this is Federation business."

"Y...yes, yes of course. You're dismissed Dallas."

Dallas didn't need to be told twice and hustled away. Kirk turned his attention away from Tarrin and inspected the ship once again. Tarrin shifted his weight uncomfortably as he was forced to wait. Eventually Kirk spoke.

"Tarrin is it?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Lieutenant?"

"That's right, Sir."

"Lieutenant Tarrin are you aware that this is Alistar Carter's ship?"

"Yes, Sir."

"And you didn't think to inform Starfleet that it was here?" Kirk demanded.

"No, Sir." Tarrin glanced at the ship. "Should I have?"

"Good grief man, haven't you heard that Alistar Carter is wanted for smuggling Hupyrian Beetle Snuff?"

"Sir?" Tarrin asked in shock.

"We of course require immediate access to this craft to search it for contraband."

"I don't know..."

"Lieutenant, are you refusing a direct order from a superior?"

"No, Sir." Tarrin instantly snapped to attention.

"Good, let us in."

"Yes, Sir."

Tarring tapped his code into the force field that protected the docked ship. When he went to join the trio Kirk stopped him with a wave of his hand. Once onboard they found that the luxury of the ship did not stop at the shiny paint job. The interior of the craft was coated in red velvet and gold accents. Kirk shut the door behind them and made a bee line for the cockpit.

"Captain, you are aware that Alistar Carter is a major religious leader?"

"Really?" Kirk asked surprised. "I did not know that."

"God has been good to this man." Bones noted.

"Gods, plural." Spock corrected. "He leads a polytheistic denomination."

"Well hopefully his parishioners won't mind buying him a new boat." Kirk chuckled.

Spock automatically took the seat in front of the helm. The ship was not designed like the Enterprise and it took Spock a moment to figure out how the complicated controls worked. Outside the ship Tarrin had clearly decided to call in and see if Kirk's story held any water. Just as Spock got the engines going Tarrin shouted an alarm.

"Spock, punch it!"

"Captain, how will violence solve this problem?"

"I meant: get us out of here!"

With seeming practiced ease Spock tapped out a rhythm on the panel. The powerful engines whined in response and the ship bolted from her berth. The hanger was protected from the vacuum of space by a field that allowed ships safe passage. However the sturdier metal doors were now being shut in response to the alarm.

With his full concentration on steering the sleek craft through the hanger at a reckless speed Spock didn't even notice the shouts of alarm from McCoy. By the time they reached the bay doors they had closed too much to allow the ship to pass through in her current orientation. Spock lashed out and re-calibrated the gyros which caused the ship to instantly flip ninety degrees while keeping gravity pointed 'down' for the passengers.

Offering the bay doors a slimmer profile they barely snuck through and out into space. As they passed through the doors the belly of the ship caught on the door. They could hear the screech of metal against metal, but the ship remained intact. Once out in open space Spock reset the gyro. He set a course for Romulus and pushed the ship to her maximum Warp.

"Captain, the ship is ours."

"Here's to hoping that Carter has insurance on this thing." Kirk smiled.

"Here's to hoping the Romulans don't mind a little scratched paint." Bones sighed.


	34. Chapter 34

Chapter Thirty-four

"James Tiberius Kirk!"

"Uh-oh, Bones, the full name...I'm in trouble now."

"Imagine that." Bones said drily.

Kirk sat down at the helm and reached out to tap the contact that would open the sub-space channel. He was surprised how long it had taken for Starfleet to call. He was not surprised by who they had chosen to make that call. Even though it was only audio contact Kirk put on his brightest innocent smile.

"Good morning, Admiral Pike. How can I help you?"

"Kirk, just the man I was trying to track down. Perhaps you could clear up a little dispute I'm having with a certain religious leader."

"Dispute?"

"Yes, it would appear that three Starfleet Officers have made off with his ship. And although the moment I heard the words 'Starfleet Officer' and 'steal' together in the same sentence I instantly thought of you, I still assured his holy that there must have been some mistake. I said, and I quote: 'Captain James T. Kirk would never leave the Enterprise.' end quote."

"Sir..."

"So just imagine my surprise when I hailed the Enterprise and was informed by Acting Captain Mr. Scott that you were not onboard."

"Admiral, I can explain..."

"Imagine my further surprise when I was informed that pursuit of the stolen ship had to be discontinued when it entered the Neutral Zone."

"I'm just full of surprises, aren't I?" Kirk smiled sheepishly.

"Captain, seriously, what the hell are you doing?" Pike growled.

"Just following orders, Sir." Kirk replied seriously. "You gave me the mission to solve the Vulcan problem, and to do that I have to talk to the Romulans face to face."

"The Romulans?"

"It's difficult to explain..."

"Then don't. The less I know the easier it will be to save both our asses in the long run. Just make sure that whatever you're up to doesn't backfire and start an intergalatic war."

"Aye, Aye, Sir."

"Is there any chance of Carter getting his ship back?" Pike asked wearily.

"Uh...no, that doesn't seem likely."

"I was afraid of that." Pike sighed. "Alright, I'll think of something to smooth this over. However, the next time you go to steal a ship, do me a favour."

"What's that, Sir?"

"Don't bring Mr. Spock along."

"He's a little too easy to identify, eh?" Kirk smiled.

"He's one of a kind."

"I know, Sir. I'm doing my best to keep him from extinction."

"I know. Good luck, Captain."

"Thank you, Admiral."

Kirk shut off the sub-space radio and released the breath he'd been holding. He hadn't been sure that the Admiral was going to be as understanding as he turned out being. Even now that the conversation was over he was having a hard time believing it. Entering the Neutral Zone without orders to do so was an act of treason, not to mention the fact that he had left his post and his ship without leave to do so. At the very least the Admiral should have demoted him yeoman on the spot.

"You're lucky you've got friends in high places, Jim." McCoy pointed out.

"Not me, Bones, Pike is covering my ass for Spock's sake. If I had pulled a stunt like this for myself he would have me keel hauled...in space."

"Sometimes I forget how close Spock and the Admiral are."

"I don't think I've ever known two people to have more respect for one another."

"If the Admiral had his way Spock would be the head of Starfleet by now."

"Spock would never go for that." Kirk chuckled. "Speaking of Spock, where is he?"

"He must still be sleeping. I'll go check on him."

"I'll come along."

Kirk followed Bones through the ship to one of the main bedrooms. McCoy knocked quietly. When he didn't get an answer he opened the door anyway. The lights automatically brightened slightly as they stepped inside. Spock was laying on his back on the bed, lost in a sea of thick red velvet.

Despite the comfortable surroundings he was restless. His chest heaved in quick shallow breaths. Kirk leaned in closer and noticed that Spock's lips were stained with what Kirk first thought was blood, but then he realized that the rust colored tint didn't make any sense for Vulcan blood. He looked up at McCoy and found the doctor had an expression of clinical disapproval etched on his face. Bones reached down and gently turned Spock's head to the side. Gravity took over and a thin line of green blood spilt from Spock's parted lips.

"Bones, why are his lips rust colored like that?"

"Deoxygenated Vulcan blood is a rusty/orange color. Human lips turn blue when they are not getting enough oxygen, Vulcan's turn rusty."

"What's happening?"

"It's the Vulandin, Jim." McCoy sighed. He got out his small medical scanner and read the results with his brow furrowed. "I was afraid this would happen, he has hemothorax."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning blood has collected between his lungs and the cavity that they sit in. That's why he's having such a hard time breathing. The pressure is too great to properly fill the lungs, and Vulcans already have a much greater oxygen demands than humans."

"How bad is it?"

"Spock will not make it to Romulus if we don't do something about it. In fact he may not make it another hour." McCoy reported gravely. "We need to aspirate the blood, but I don't have the equipment here."

"We can't just let Spock die. What do you need?"

"Well..." Bones thought about the problem for a moment "in the old days they used a thick needle to physically puncture the skin and drain the blood manually. Barbaric, but it would work."

"So you need a needle."

"A big one."

"Then let's find you one."

Bones glanced back down at Spock and nodded. Locked in an unnatural sleep Spock's eyes flickered back and forth under their closed lids. His gasping became more audible. Kirk reached down to wake him, afraid that his friend was close to dying in his sleep. McCoy intercepted him and shook his head.

"Let him sleep. We'll need him awake to drain the blood and he'll need all the strength he can gather for it."

"Okay. Where are we going to find that needle?"

"I saw an old fashioned machine down in the galley, I believe it was used to make a special kind of coffee centuries ago. It had a lot of metal tubes and pipes. One of those might work if we sharpened it."

"Then let's go take apart a priceless antique."

Kirk and Bones left Spock to go hunt down the expresso machine. Down in the galley Kirk looked at the complicated contraption with a look of disapproval. Bones ran his fingertips along a steel pipe that was about a foot in length. After looking at his other options he came back to the original tube.

"This one is the best."

"Bones, that thing is as thick as a pen stylus." Kirk said with alarm. "You're not really considering jabbing Spock with that, are you?"

"If the needle is too thin the blood will just coagulate in it and stop it up."

"Alright, you're the Doc. Stand back."

"Make sure you angle one end into a sharp point."

Kirk nodded and got out his phaser. Putting the weapon on a low setting he used it to carve the pipe out of the machine. On the second cut he angled the beam steeply to form a point at the end. Bones took the makeshift needle and washed it out in the sink. He took his own phaser on the lowest setting and used it to sterilize the tip. After getting a large glass bowl and a towel they had everything they needed. With their medical instruments in hand they returned to Spock.

"Bones, have you ever done anything like this before?"

"Of course not, don't be absurd."

"Reassuring."

"You want to do this?" Bones demanded.

"No, no, that's quite alright."

"We need to wake him up, it will be critical that he doesn't move so we'd best not surprise him. I'll go see if there is any alcohol in that cabinet for disinfecting his skin."

While Bones picked through the mini bar for the highest grade alcohol he could find Kirk walked over to the far side of the bed and sat down on it. He put his hand on the side of Spock's face. It took a moment for the contact to wake Spock. Opening his eyes slowly he looked up at Kirk. A look of confusion flashed across his face as he tried to separate the dream world for the waking one.

"Captain," Spock greeted formally "I apologize for over sleeping. I will take my turn at watch now."

"Oh no you don't." Kirk gently held Spock down. "Dr. McCoy says there is a great deal of blood in your lungs."

"I can still breath."

"Barely." Bones said as he came over with some brandy. "Spock, we need to drain blood to relieve the pressure or your lungs will collapse."

Spock glanced at the large needle in McCoy's hand and without hesitation pulled his uniform up to give the doctor a clear shot at his ribs. A slight smile touched Kirk's lips. He wasn't so sure that he'd be so quick to trust Bones with that medical weapon in his hands. In the end McCoy didn't seem to trust himself either. He hesitated before open the bottle of brandy he'd fished out of the cupboard. With a 'here-goes-nothing' look on his face Bones poured some of the alcohol on Spock's ribs.

"Not that side, Doctor, you'll pierce my heart."

"Of course, it's not in the center of your chest." Bones poured more of the alcohol on the other side of Spock's ribs. "I...I'm sorry..."

"Do not be nervous, Doctor." Spock said calmly. "I believe you took an oath to 'do no harm'."

"I did."

"I am dying, you can do no further harm to me, even if you fail."

"Let's try to avoid failure." Bones forced a smile and offered Spock the brandy. "You want a hit of this before we begin."

Spock shook his head slightly. Bones shrugged and took a deep pull at the bottle himself.

"Spock, I need you to put your arms up over your head." McCoy instructed. "Jim, hold his wrists as best you can. Spock, I'm going to sit on your hips to help keep you as still as possible. It is very important that you remain as motionless as you can, there is a fine line between breaking through into the pleural cavity and puncturing a lung."

"Understood, Doctor."

Still on his back Spock put his hands over his head and peacefully allowed Kirk to pin them there. After placing the bowl and the towel next to Spock's side McCoy crawled up onto the bed. He straddled Spock and sat down on in his hips to keep him from arching his back and possibly lancing the needle through his lungs.

"I hate to think what people would assume if they stumbled across this cozy little scene of ours." Kirk said trying to lighten the tense mood.

"They'd have me arrested for malpractice on the spot."

"At the very least."

"Gentlemen," Spock interrupted "please do not delay this procedure any longer, I am becoming increasingly short of breath."

"Right. This might...uh...sting." Bones announced. "On the count of three take a deep breath and hold it for as long as you can. 1, 2...3."

On the count of three everyone involved took a deep breath and held it. McCoy pressed the tip of the needle between two of Spock's ribs and with a quick jab he punctured the skin. Bones was forced to push the invasive metal tube through the thin layer of muscle slowly so that he would know when to stop before going too far.

Kirk looked away as blood seeped around the injury and slipped down Spock's side. Unable to hold his breath any longer Spock returned to his raspy shallow breathing. As McCoy continued to twist the metal into his chest Spock wrapped his hands around Kirk's wrists. They were holding each other's wrists like they were about to perform a high flying trapeze act.

Spock braced himself against the pain by gripping Kirk's wrists tighter. However, he made no sound, and did nothing to fight against the doctor's treatment. Spock looked up at Kirk and the Captain could see in his green stained eyes how much effort it was taking him to keep his pain hidden. Normally something like this wouldn't even be an issue for the mentally hardened Vulcan, but after weeks of being pushed up against his threshold of tolerance he was too close to the breaking point to shield his mind from the physical world. Sweat beaded Spock's skin as he finally broke down and closed his eyes with a quiet moan.

"You're almost through this." Kirk encouraged. "Hold on, Spock."

"Got it!" Bones crowed in triumph.

The blunt end of the metal tube drained the stagnant blood into the bowl like a fountain. The difference in Spock was almost immediate. He took his first truly deep breath in days and relaxed visibly. As the blood continued to drain Spock's color improved and his breathing became increasingly smooth and steady.

"I think that should be enough." McCoy muttered to himself as he pulled the needle out and pressed the towel against the wound that was left. "Normally I'd leave the tube in so that it could drain off any more accumulation, but that would only be under circumstances when I knew my patient was going to stay in bed. Something tells me Spock's not going to abide by doctor's orders of bed rest."

"I have no time for such things, Doctor." Spock replied. "However, as a credit to your skill I feel vastly improved."

"I still want you to rest here until the Romulans come knocking."

"Very well, Doctor. If you insist."

"And I do."

Kirk released his hold on Spock's wrists and McCoy carefully got off him. When Bones was satisfied that the puncture wound had stopped bleeding he pulled Spock's shirt down for him. Spock closed his eyes once more, but this time he looked peaceful.

"Thank you, Doctor." Spock whispered as he drifted off to sleep.

"You're welcome, Spock."

Bones used the towel to clean off the needle and set it on the night stand in case it was needed again. He lifted up the bowl of bright green blood. Kirk was shocked by how much of it there was. He couldn't imagine anyone having that much fluid in their chest and surviving.

"How long do you think the blood in his chest has been bothering him?"

"From what I've been observing: days. Stubborn Vulcan, he'd rather crawl off somewhere to die alone than ask for help."

"I think it's that same stubborn streak that's keeping him alive."

"It's a shame we have to throw this away." McCoy sighed as he looked at the bowl of blood.

"Bones?" Kirk asked with a suspicious eyebrow raised.

"If we were on the Enterprise we could have it cleaned up and put it back in his veins."

"Ah."

"Spock has a very rare blood type among what is now a very rare species." Bones continued. "If it comes down to him needing a transfusion...I don't think even the black market would be able to help us."

Hearing the defeat in McCoy's voice Kirk looked back over at Spock. His friend was sleeping quietly. His breathing was no longer shallow, but his chest still heaved in an effort to get enough oxygen to his failing circulatory system. While Kirk watched Spock sleep Bones went into the small bathroom and poured the blood down the sink.

"We should get back to the helm, Jim. There is nothing more we can do for Spock other than let him rest."

Kirk nodded and lead the way back up to the bridge of the small ship. He sat down in the Captain's chair and upon seeing that they were almost across the Neutral Zone he dropped the ship out of Warp. The stars jumped to life as the blue haze of Warp fell away. McCoy took the seat next to him and the two men stared at the beauty of space. They remained locked in silence for nearly and hour before Kirk sighed heavily.

"Jim?"

"I was just recalling the first thing that Spock asked me to teach his child, male or female."

"Oh?"

"He wanted me to tell them that they never had to smile if they didn't want to."

"That seems like an odd thing to say." Bones said.

"I thought so too at first. Then I remembered something Admiral Pike once told me when I was joking around with him about Spock's serious nature. He told me that when Spock first arrived at the Academy he used to smile all the time."

"Spock? Our Spock?"

"Apparently he used to mimic all kind of human facial expressions. At first Pike thought they were genuine, but as he got to know Spock he realized that the expressions were not only hollow but that they were difficult and tiresome for him. He was struggling to fit in with the humans much like he'd always tried to fit in with the Vulcans; by being something he wasn't. Pike cornered him one day and let him know that he didn't have to pretend to be someone else just for the sake of those around him. Apparently the change in Spock was like day and night and he became the odd misfit we know and love today."

"It was probably the first time someone outside of Spock's family ever accepted him for who he is."

"No doubt. It can't be easy to at once be logical like a Vulcan and yet compassionate as the best among us humans."

"You know I constantly give him a hard time about the contradictions in his nature, I suppose I should tell him that I wouldn't have him be any other way before it's too late."

"I have a feeling he already knows." Kirk smiled. "One thing you can depend on with Spock is that he no longer pretends. If he saw you as anything other than the genuine friend that you are...he'd let you know about it."

"I just wish I could help him."

"Well, that's what all this is about." Kirk gestured to the space that surrounded them.

"How long until we're in Romulan territory?"

"We crossed out of the Neutral zone half an hour ago."

"So where are the Romulans?"

"Knowing them, they are cloaked somewhere near by while they figure us out. Once they are sure they have the upper hand they'll make themselves known."

Kirk had barely finished his sentence when a Romulan bird-of-prey materialized in front of them. The fast Romulan craft circled them at a distance like a shark around a bleeding swimmer. When Kirk made no move to attack or chance course the Romulan vessel became more bold and moved in closer.

"Should we wake Spock?" Bones asked.

"There is no need, Doctor, I am right here." Spock announced as he stepped up behind them.

"Spock, don't sneak up on me like that!" Bones exclaimed with a jump.

"My apologies, Doctor, sometimes I forget that your hearing is not as keen as my own."

"Yeah...right." Bones grumbled.

Kirk chuckled to see the two men baiting each other once again even as the enemy sized them up. Outside a second bird-of-prey became visible and joined its partner in a deadly dance around the ship. When Spock leaned forward to get a better look at the two ships McCoy lifted up his blood stained shirt to inspect the puncture wound.

"I assure you, I feel fine, Doctor." Spock said.

"You shouldn't be walking around so soon."

"The Romulans would certainly have roused me from bed regardless."

"They aren't hailing." Kirk noted.

"No. We are not a war ship, they have no need for contact with us. They will inspect the ship to decide if they want it. If they do they will board to kill us, if they do not they will fire upon us."

"Whoa, wait a minute." Bones protested. "'Board to kill us'? That doesn't sound like the plan!"

"Once they see our uniforms they will not fire their weapons." Spock assured. "We are far more valuable as prisoners."

"Great."

Before Kirk could reassure Bones further the sounds of the Romulans making their way through the ship caught his attention. It sounded as though they were tearing the place apart looking for inhabitants. When they came to the bridge the four Romulans stopped and stared at Kirk, Spock, and McCoy in understandable shock. Kirk stepped forward and held his hand out in an offer for the Romulan leader to shake. The Romulan looked at Kirk as if he was offering him a dead rat. Kirk smiled brightly despite the cold reception.

"Gentlemen...welcome aboard."


	35. Chapter 35

Chapter Thirty-five

"Is this the kind of reception you were expecting, Spock?"

"Yes, Doctor."

"Alright, fine, as long as everything is still going according to 'plan'."

Spock opened one eye and glanced over at the fretting doctor. McCoy was pacing restlessly in front of the shimmering field that kept them locked in the small prison cell. The walls and floor were made of a dull metal that gave the place a feel of a more traditional dungeon. Their transfer to Romulus had not taken long, but Spock could already feel the blood collecting in his chest again. Laying on his back on the floor he was attempting to get some rest.

"How are you doing, Spock?" Kirk asked with concern.

"My discomfort is tolerable."

"That bad, eh?"

Over the years Spock had learned that when the Captain used the term 'eh' he wasn't actually expecting an answer. It seemed illogical to Spock to ask a question without wanting an answer, but he accepted it. Closing his eyes again he tried once more to sleep. He could hear McCoy continuing to pace.

"Spock, how can you sleep at a time like this?" Bones demanded.

"My worrying about the situation will do nothing to change it."

"He has a point, Bones. Come on, sit down, you're making me all edgy too."

"How did I end up with you two?" McCoy sighed.

"The Chief Medical Officer of the USS Enterprise was killed in action during Nero's attack on Vulcan thus instantly promoting you to..."

"Spock," Bones interrupted "that was a rhetorical question. I wasn't looking for a recant of our history."

With his eyes still closed Spock raised a single disapproving eyebrow. Bones rolled his eyes and after further coaching from Kirk he sat down. Breathing heavily Spock drifted in and our of consciousness. At one point Spock woke to find Kirk had propped his head up on his lap to make him more comfortable. To weak to protest the unnecessary contact Spock licked the blood from his lips and fell back asleep.

"Spock, wake up." Kirk urged. "Someone's coming."

"Very well. Help me stand now, I do not want to appear weak."

"Right."

Spock sat up and accepted Kirk's help to get to his feet. Once up he took a few steps away from the other two. Kirk and Bones automatically went to stand by the door as the guards arrived but Spock stopped them with a quick shake of his head. Kirk gave him 'I hope you know what you're doing' look.

"You, Vulcan." The lead guard barked. "Our leader wishes to speak to you first."

"Very wel..."

"We're going with him." Kirk interrupted.

"No, Captain. I will go alone."

"Spock?"

"Trust me."

"This is not open to debate." The Romulan growled. "Come, Vulcan, the Empress awaits."

"Empress?" Kirk repeated.

"In Romulan society men and women are equal." Spock explained. "Either can rise to lead the Star Empire."

"Enough chatter." The guard snapped.

"Give the Empress my love." Kirk forced a smile.

"That is illogical, Captain. You can not love her, you do not even know her."

Kirk shook his head sadly as Spock was lead away. Although he had not been placed in restrains Spock kept his hands behind his back as he walked the hallways. He had never seen Romulan architecture before and was fascinated by how biological it appeared. Where Vulcans would have used hard lines and right angles the Romulans had used textured surfaces and natural curves.

The main Royal Hall was nothing less than a work of art. Gracefully entwined columns arched to the glass ceiling high above. It was raining outside and the spatter of water on the multicolored glass added to its beauty. The floor was made of black stone that had been inlaid with gold symbols of the Romulan language.

The Empress sat on an ornate throne that was elevated on a large dais. Although beautiful her expression was as cold as space itself. Her long black hair had been pulled up and back away from her pointed ears. The human blood red lipstick she wore clashed deeply with her green tinted skin. She wore a multi layered black robe made of fine silk and accent in gold.

Spock was lead to a place five feet from the dais. The guards saluted their leader and she sent them away with a glance. Tilting her head slightly to one side she studied Spock. With his hands still held casually behind his back he stared forward at a point in space a thousand light years away. It was his disinterest in his situation that seemed to inspire the most curiosity from the Empress.

Spock did his best to remain calm and unemotional. It had been severals hours since his last dose of Vulandin, and he was beginning to fear that he would start to hear the whispers of dead voices before too long. He had a very limited amount of time to convince the Romulans to help him and allow him to return to the ship, and his drug. Even with time pressing down on him Spock remained silent. He planed only to start speaking once spoken to.

It was a full five minutes before the Romulan rose up out of her seat. Her footsteps echoed in the massive hall as she approached him. She walked up close enough for him to feel the heat of her breath on his skin. She briefly ran her fingers over the still sticky blood stain on his uniform.

Once again tilting her head to the side she suddenly engaged Spock in a passionate kiss. Although taken somewhat by surprise he did not react to her unusual show of affection, nor did he return it. Spock remained passive and unresistant even as the Romulan Empress forced her tongue past his teeth.

The Empress pulled away slowly, displaying the fact that she had his blood on her tongue. She rubbed it off on her lips before licking it off once again. Spock remained as a statue before her. A vulpine grin slipped onto the Romulan's thin lips as she stared at him.

"So...it is true." She purred. "What's left of your ruined race is dying, I can taste your fate in your blood."

It had not been a question so Spock did not offer an explanation.

"I am Cel'esta of Romulus."

"I am Spock of Vulcan."

"And Earth." Cel'esta smiled knowingly. "Oh yes, I know of you. Spock the hybrid, certainly not a human, but not quite a Vulcan either."

"I have found my place in the galaxy."

"As a Starfleet Officer no less. A very impressive achievement, particularly with the disadvantage of your Vulcan blood."

"Starfleet is not concerned about the color of my blood."

"You know I'm willing to bet that you truly believe that, but I don't." The Empress licked her lips again. "I have heard tales that Vulcans can not lie. Is that true of half-Vulcans as well?"

"True or not, I did not come here to lie."

"Why did you come here?"

"To ask for help."

Cel'esta laughed. Sighing from mirth she put her hand on Spock's cheek in a loving caress. She put her other hand on his chest and slowly drew her hand down to the blood stain on his ribs. She guided him to look at her and he complied. Once she was sure that she had his attention Cel'esta dug her longer fingernails into the flesh around the fresh wound in his side.

"Help you? A Vulcan?" Cel'esta growled. "All of Romulus wait with baited breath for the day that we can celebrate the death of the last Vulcan."

"That is not logical, we are of the same blood."

"Unlike Starfleet we truly do not care about the colour of your blood." Cel'esta said as she increased her painful grip on Spock's ribs. "It is the company you keep that disgusts us."

"There is nothing wrong with my company."

"Not for long at any rate." Cel'esta released him since he was showing no signs of being in pain. "Once the Vulcan shepherds are gone, there will be no one left to protect the flock of human sheep."

"Attacking the humans is unwise."

"Without Vulcan guidance they are nothing."

"That is not true."

"They are weak species, Spock. Even you call yourself 'Vulcan' with no mention of your human blood. You're ashamed of it."

"It is simply too cumbersome to constantly refer to myself as half-Vulcan, half-human. Since I have the physiology and the upbringing of a Vulcan I call myself such. I have never denied my human blood to anyone who has ever inquired of it."

"No matter. You know what I say is true. And now I have a human Starfleet Captain in my hands. I will tear apart his mind until I have every secret it contains."

"His secrets will be worthless."

"As for you," Cel'esta continued with a cruel smile "I've always wanted a Vulcan as a palace pet."

The Romulan removed the silk belt from her outfit and tied a loop with a slip knot in it at one end. Spock made no protests as she placed the noose over his head and pulled it tightly around his throat. Cel'esta searched his eyes for some hint of his thoughts, hoping to catch a flash of anger or humiliation in his eyes. She did not find what she was looking for.

"You disappoint me, Empress." Spock said sincerely.

"Oh?" Cel'esta raised her slanted eyebrows. "How so?"

"I asked you for help, and you never asked me what I was going to give you in return."

"That is only because there is nothing you could possibly offer me that I would accept."

"I have the power to save all of Romulus."

"Oh, Spock, you have not played your hand well. Your information is out dated. Nero already warned us of the nova that is to be our future."

"Nero warned you of the future, but did he tell you how to prevent it?"

"That is none of your concern." Cel'esta snarled.

"I did not think so." Spock replied. "I am destined to be Romulus' voice in the Vulcan Council. One day I will be a respected Ambassador...and a powerful ally."

"Romulus does not need Vulcan!" Cel'esta cried. "We will solve our own problems!"

"You do not have the time." Spock said bluntly. "You are a successful warrior species, you are not a scientifically driven people. One hundred and twenty-six years will be insufficient for you to discover how to prevent the nova."

"And what makes you think you can stop it? You failed once before!"

"I will not fail again."

Cel'esta glared intensely at Spock. He casually watched her in return. Knowing that showing weakness at this point would be fatal for both himself and his friends he did everything in his power not to tremble. He was not fearful. It was his body, not his mind that was failing him. Successfully hiding his difficulties from Cel'esta she narrowed her eyes in irritation.

"We do not need you, half-Vulcan. The Romulan Empire will simply move to a new world."

"You will find that there is no planet in the entire galaxy that can replace your homeworld."

Spock noticed a glint of fear show in Romulan's eyes for the first time. She took a few steps back and studied her captive once more. Spock waited for her to make a decision silently. To an outside observer he would have appeared disinterested in the entire affair. His calm exterior unnerved Cel'esta further.

"What do you need from the Romulans, Commander Spock?"

"Trilithium."

"It does not exist."

"You are lying."

"What makes you say that with such confidence?"

"It is just as much Romulan nature to lie as it is Vulcan nature to tell the truth."

"You're correct." Cel'esta smiled. "We have yet to find a use for it. It is too dangerous to be made into a weapon, we would blow up our own ships."

"I do not intend to use it as a weapon."

"Why do you need it? It must be important or you would not be standing before me."

"The black hole that was once Vulcan is approaching the star that it circles. When the black hole comes in contact with the Vulcan sun it will create a powerful burst of gamma radiation that will do untold damage to life in this galaxy. With the trilithium I plan to reduce the Vulcan star to a white dwarf, incapable of such destruction."

"You would destroy the Vulcan star to save a galaxy that will no longer hold any Vulcans? You would extinguish the only lasting impression of Vulcan left on the night sky?"

"Yes."

The Romulan Empress searched Spock's face one final time. This time rather than staring straight ahead Spock allowed their eyes to meet. Cel'esta's expression softened slightly. She licked her lips in a show of indecision.

"We have only be able to produce very small quantities, and it is highly unstable."

"I require no more than what would fit in the palm of my hand."

"Then you shall have it."

"Thank you, Empress."

Cel'esta stepped up close enough to press her own chest to his. She suddenly twisted her nails into his injured side with malice. This time Spock was forced whimper in pain and swallow the bile and blood that rose to his lips. Cel'esta pushed herself up on her tip toes so that she could place her lips against Spock's pointed ear.

"However," Cel'esta growled darkly "you are not to forget what Romulus has done for you."

"I never forget my friends."

"Is that sarcasm?"

"I am a Vulcan, I am incapable of sarcasm."

Satisfied Cel'esta released him. She turned away and went back to her place on her throne. A set of guards materialized from the shadows and escorted Spock to a lavish guest room. When the guards were gone he staggered over to the nearest chair and sat down. Closing his eyes he waited for his friends. It wasn't long before Kirk and McCoy joined him.

"Spock," Kirk greeted warmly "I take it from the upgrade in our accommodations that things went well."

"The Romulans are going to provide us with the necessary trilithium."

"Damn, Spock, ...how do you do it?"

"I think it has something to do with the silk leash around his neck and the ruby red lipstick on his face." Bones smiled.

"Spock," Kirk chuckled "you dog!"

"Captain?"

"Never mind, Spock. I'm just glad it worked out."

"We we still have work ahead of us."

"At least we aren't dead."

"Astute observation, Captain."

"Spock," McCoy said with sudden concern "your side..."

"Do not worry about me further. Even if I should die at this very moment I have acomplished all I set out to do."


	36. Chapter 36

NOTE from the PHOENIX: For some reason FFnet is not letting me reply to my reviews right now. Please know that I read and LOVE every one of them. I will reply as soon as FFnet fixes the glitch. THanks!!

Chapter Thirty-six

"I don't like this," Kirk fretted "it's taking to long."

"I agree." Bones sighed.

"How's Spock?"

"Not good."

"Is that your professional medical opinion?"

"Pretty much." McCoy replied.

Kirk came over and sat down on the edge of the couch that Spock was sleeping on. Beyond the ragged breathing he was jerking violently. The wound that Cel'esta had reopened refused to close again and was weeping a watery blood and lymph mixture. Kirk put his hand against Spock's forehead to see if he was fevering. Spock opened his eyes with a sharp gasp.

"I'm sorry, Spock, I didn't mean to startle you."

"Captain...I can hear whispers."

"That's not good." Bones pointed out needlessly.

"I fear I will soon become dangerous, Captain."

"You are in no condition to hurt anyone, Spock."

"Rage will make me stronger." Spock insisted.

"Well, there isn't much we can do about it." Kirk shrugged. "Despite now being 'honored guests' we are locked in here."

"Open the wound in my side into my lungs..."

"What?!" Bones exclaimed. "Are you insane?"

"Doctor, I do not wish my last act to be murdering my friends. You must kill me before I have the chance to kill you."

"No one is killing anyone." Kirk said firmly.

"Captain..."

"End of discussion, Spock."

Spock flashed Kirk a desperate heartbroken look that he'd never seen on the Vulcan's features before. The expression didn't last long as Spock's attention was suddenly captured by something that only he could hear. Kirk looked to Bones for guidance, but the doctor just shook his head sadly.

Kirk and McCoy both jolted slightly as there was a sharp knock at the door. Without waiting for a response the door opened and two guards stepped inside. They two Romulans stood on either side of the door and stared forward blankly. The Romulan Empress entered and looked around. Spock instantly sat up. Kirk reached out to steady him, but Spock withdrew from his touch.

"Empress," Kirk greeted as he got to his feet and offered her a shallow bow "it is a pleasure to met you. On behalf of the Federation, and myself personally, thank you for assistance."

"I am having second thoughts about our agreement." Cel'esta announced harshly.

"Typical Romulan." McCoy muttered.

"Bones." Kirk admonished. "Forgive the Doctor's rudeness your Highness. May I ask why you are having second thoughts?"

"The Vulcan has made a promise he clearly can not keep."

"The 'Vulcan' has a name." Bones growled.

"Doctor, keep quiet that's an order." Kirk snapped.

"Empress," Spock spoke up "I have made no promises that I do not intend to keep."

"You are dying, Spock." Cel'esta said coldly. "You did well to hide the extent of your illness, but your weakness is clear now. You say you will be Romulus' voice in the Vulcan Council in over one hundred years, you are not going to live through the night let alone the next century!"

"The plan we have to stop the Vulcan black hole will also save Spock's life." Kirk argued.

"Spock, is this true?"

"It is uncertain." Spock replied truthfully.

Kirk closed his eyes in frustration of his First Officer's inability to stretch even the simplest truth. The Empress saw his visible agitation and smiled. She stepped up to Kirk and ran her fingertips along the line of his collar bone.

"It irritates you that your Vulcan friend can not lie."

"There are times when it has its disadvantages." Kirk admitted.

"Perhaps if humans were more truthful us Romulans would be more inclined to deal with your kind."

"Alright, you want the truth, here it is: we need your help desperately. Not only for the humans, but all other living things in this galaxy as well. There is a chance that once the Vulcan sun is stopped that the illness affecting Spock and all other Vulcans will be cured."

"Spock," Cel'esta called over Kirk's shoulder "what is the probability of your survival?"

"I do not have enough information to calculate that statistic."

"How long do you believe you have to live?"

"In my current condition...less than a week."

"Thank you for your honesty."

"Empress, please," Kirk said "the Federation will not allow Romulus to be destroyed."

"The Federation does not have that power. It will take Vulcan science, Spock assured me of this and I believe it. Without a Vulcan on our side the Council will not assist us."

"You will have that voice, even if Spock dies."

"Captain, no..."

Spock jumped to his feet and immediately passed out. Bones was just fast enough to catch him as he collapsed. Kirk turned and helped Bones ease Spock to the floor. McCoy spent a moment fussing over Spock before announcing that he was still breathing and that it had most likely been a drop in blood pressure that had brought him down.

"Captain Kirk, I believe you were telling me something about having a Vulcan voice in the future?" Cel'esta said conversationally.

"I was." Kirk admitted as he faced her once again. "Spock's wife is expecting a child. I am to raise him if Spock is gone."

"Are you suggesting that the child take on the burden of the father's promises?"

"Yes."

The Empress thought about this for a moment before smiling. Kirk had a feeling that he was making a terrible mistake, but he didn't know what else he could do. On the floor Spock was fighting to regain consciousness.

"This agreement will require a blood oath." Cel'esta announced.

"Spock doesn't have any blood to spare." Bones protested.

"No, not Spock's," Cel'esta put her hand on Kirk's cheek "his."

"I take this blood oath and you will give us the trilithium?"

"Yes, it is already aboard your ship." Cel'esta promised. "We will also do what we can to heal Spock's broken body so that he might raise his child himself."

"Deal."

"Captain..." Spock muttered half awake "do not..."

"It is already done." Cel'esta smiled. "Come with me, Captain."

"Jim, are you sur..."

"Take care of Spock, Bones, I'll be back soon."

Spock was trying to get to his feet even though he couldn't open his eyes. Bones held him down and tried to calm him. Before he could have second thoughts of his own Kirk turned back to Cel'esta. She held her hand out for him to take in a courtly manner. Taking the Romulan's delicate hand he followed her out of the room.

The Empress said nothing as she lead him down the complicated hallways. A set of guards was always watching, but they kept their distance. Kirk stopped suddenly and whipped around when he heard a blood curdling scream echo through the stone corridors. Cel'esta came up behind Kirk and wrapped her arms around his waist. Pressing herself into his back she placed her lips against his ear. The cry repeated itself with an almost musical tone to it marred only by the obvious agony behind it.

"Do not be alarmed." Cel'esta whispered as she bit his ear gently. "The screams mean that your friend still has plenty of fight left in him. Romulan medicine can be painful, but you must be alive to feel pain."

"I find out he's been murdere..."

"I have no reason to murder a dying man. If I wanted him dead I would have just left him to die. I promised that we would try to help him and that is exactly what we are doing. Come along."

Kirk found himself frozen to the spot as Spock cried out again. Cel'esta released her hold on his waist and put her hands up on his shoulders to guide him away. Begrudgingly Kirk turned and followed the Empress once again. She came to a traditional door which was instantly opened for her by the guard that stood outside it.

The room beyond was a small one that only had a single distinguishing feature. A glass ball that hovered in a deep blue light dominated the center of the room. Cel'esta walked around to the far side of the floating orb and tapped on it. The clear sphere turned a bright blue and seemed to swirl inside.

"Captain, place your right hand on the orb. Do not release it until you are instructed to do so."

"Um...I was kinda expecting us to cut our palms open and shake hands."

"Disgusting. No, this is how the blood oath is done."

"Alright." Kirk shrugged.

Assuming the orb to be some sort of religious statue he placed his hand on top of it much like the way one used to place his hand on a Bible on Earth long ago. Cel'esta locked eyes with Kirk. He wasn't sure if he was looking at mischief or excitement in her eyes.

"You will repeat what I say perfectly, is that understood?"

"Yes."

"I, Captain James Tiberius Kirk, do swear..."

"I, Captain James Tiberius Kirk, do swear..."

"That upon the twenty-first birthday of the child born of Spock's blood..."

"That upon the twenty-first birthday of the child born of Spock's blood..."

"I will return to Romulus with the child to remind them of their father's promise made to all Romulans."

"I will return to Romulus with the child to remind them of their father's promise made to all Romulans."

Even as Kirk was saying the words he wasn't sure if he would truly honor them. He was just about to take his hand off the glass orb when a pain lanced up his arm and stabbed into his heart. Gasping for breath he tried to pull away from the orb, but found that his hand was securely attached to it. The blue in the orb swirled with red as it drew some of his blood. It felt like hours before the pain subsided.

"You may remove your hand now." Cel'esta informed.

"What just happened?" Kirk asked as he nursed his sore hand.

"It is all part of participating in a blood oath."

"Are we done?"

"Yes. You and your friends are free to leave."

"Thank you."

"You are welcome."

Cel'esta left the orb that was now glowing red behind to walk up to Kirk. She took his arm as though they were going out on a date. She lead him back to the room where Spock and McCoy waited. To Kirk's surprise Spock was sitting up. Bones was pacing once again, looking unhappy. When he caught sight of Kirk Spock got to his feet. It was clear that he was still weak, but he didn't look on the edge of death at the moment.

"Captain..."

"I'm fine, Spock." Kirk assured. "Empress, thank you for all your help."

"My pleasure. When you are ready to leave my guards here will return you to your ship."

"I think we are ready to leave now."

"Then I wish you safe travels. Take care with your cargo, it is unstable at best."

"We will." Kirk turned to his friend. "Gentlemen, let's go."

"Yes, Captain." Spock said with a hint of defeat in his voice.

True to her word the Empress had loaded the ship with a small amount of precious cargo. The handful of trilithium was suspended in a field encased in a cylinder of glass much the same way the red matter had been. A thick blue coat of what looked like slime covered the black ore contained within. As Kirk stared at the trilithium that looked woefully out of place in the lavish ship Spock went to the helm and set a course back towards Starbase 257.

Feeling tired from their ordeal on Romulus Kirk decided to stay in the lounge room with the trilithium. Once they were in the relative safety of the Neutral Zone Spock approached Kirk. He already looked like he was going down hill fast since his treatment under the hands of the Romulans. The minute Spock had set the course he had taken a heavy dose of Vulandin, and it seemed to be ravaging his delicate system even faster than before.

"How are you feeling, Spock?"

"The Romulans have bought me some time. Dr. McCoy was most distraught, but he admitted that he could not argue with their results."

"Where is Bones?"

"Sleeping."

"Probably for the best."

"Captain, may I speak with you?"

"I thought that's what we were doing."

"I wish to change the subject." Spock clarified.

"Sure. Have a seat."

"I will make this brief and then retire to bed."

"Okay, what's on your mind?"

"I need to know the exact words that you gave Cel'esta during the blood oath." Spock said bluntly.

"I told her that I would return to Romulus with your child when they turned twenty-one."

"Did you make any amendments?"

"I don't understand."

"Are you to perform this task no matter if I live or die."

"Uh...it didn't come up. I assumed she meant if you died."

"There are no assumptions in a blood oath. If you only stated that you would return on my child's twenty-first birthday then that is what you must do."

"Don't worry about it, Spock." Kirk shrugged. "I don't intend to go back one way or the other."

"You must."

"Why?"

"If you break the promise you made to Cel'esta you will die."

"Come on, Spock, you know I don't believe in all that hocus pocus."

"It is not magic, it is a computer program. Nanites were injected into your blood, hence the term 'blood oath'. If they are not returned to the orb in the time frame set by you they will kill you."

"That pointy-ear bit..."

"Captain, what is done is done. However, if a war breaks out between Romulus and the humans, you will be forced to return to Romulus anyway and my child will have to accompany you."

"Spock, I'm so sorry. I didn't know."

"I suppose what you have done was only logical." Spock gave Kirk a shallow bow.

"How so?"

"Cel'esta was not going to allow us leave without gaining something for herself."

"A lot can happen in twenty-one years, Spock. Let's not worry about it right now."

"Agreed."

"Go get some rest, Spock."

"You require rest as well, Captain."

"Duly noted."

Spock nodded and went to seek out a bed. When he went passed the chamber with the trilithum suspended in it he placed his hand on the glass and stared at it. Kirk watched Spock as he contemplated what might be his last chance at life. Eventually Spock left. Kirk moved over to the couch and stretched out for a quick nap. Unable to sleep he just stared at the trilithum floating in the glass cage.

"This had better work."


	37. Chapter 37

Chapter Thirty-seven

"Wow...this sure is a pretty boat."

"Forget it, Scotty, she's going into the Vulcan sun."

"But, Sir..." Scotty moaned.

"That's an order, Mister. Now then, do you think you can follow the Enterprise to Vulcan without straying?"

"Maybe."

"I'll take that as a 'Aye, Sir'." Kirk said sternly.

"Aye, Sir." Scotty sighed.

"Better."

Kirk left Scotty at the helm. The Engineer looked like a kid in a candy store. He kept touching various component on the control panel and giggling in sheer delight. Kirk rolled his eyes, at least some one was enjoying all of this. They had met up with the Enterprise out in space just in case anyone at the Starbase was still irate about the stolen ship.

Kirk walked into the lounge room where Spock and Bones were staring at the trilithum. Actually Spock was inspecting the synthetic compound while McCoy was stealing a quick clinical look at his unwilling patient. Spock was on his feet, but it looked like only sheer force of will was keeping him there. Kirk's fears where confirmed when Bones looked his way and shook his head sadly.

"I am fine, Doctor." Spock said.

"I didn't saying anything."

"Bones, you were thinking it so hard that even I heard it." Kirk forced a smile. "Spock, how long is it going to take to get to Vulcan from here?"

"Approximately eleven hours and seventeen minutes."

"Alright, report to the Enterprise and take the next eleven hours and ten minutes off."

"Captain, during a mission of such importance it is not logical for the First Officer to be off duty."

"If my First Officer was healthy I'd agree with him."

"Captain, I do not require any special treatment." Spock insisted.

"The fact that you're not confined to medical is all the special treatment you're getting." Kirk replied seriously. "No more arguing. Scotty's got this helm, the rest of us are going back to the Enterprise."

Kirk contacted the transporter room and ordered them all beamed over. Uhura was waiting for them in the transporter room. She had barely waited for them to fully materialize before she was up on the transporter pad. Uhura gently wrapped her arms around Spock, being careful not to lean on him too heavily. Kirk smiled as Spock returned the embrace and gave her a soft kiss. Under any other circumstance he knew that Spock would never have accepted this public display. Uhura looked over at Kirk and smiled sadly.

"Thank you, Captain. I knew you'd bring him back safe."

"Just doing my job, Ma'am."

A more genuine smile slipped across Uhura's features. She took Spock's hand and started to lead him away. Stepping down off the transporter pad he hesitated to leave. Uhura paused and allowed him to turn back.

"Captain, if I am needed..."

"I know where to find you."

Spock paused before nodding and peacefully allowing Uhura to lead him away. Kirk watched them leave before ordering the Enterprise into maximum Warp towards the Vulcan sun. With everything done that could be done at the moment Kirk stepped over to McCoy and slung his arm over his friend's shoulders.

"Bones, I don't know about you, but I could use a drink."

"I keep the best stuff down in medical."

"Right where it belongs."

Trotting down of the transporter pad the pair made their way down to medical. Bones snagged a bottle of brandy and a couple of glasses which they took up to the main observation deck. Kirk walked over to the large old fashioned helm that decorated the middle of the room. Leaning against the wooden wheel he accepted the glass of brandy that Bones handed him.

"Sometimes I wish we were at sea rather than out in the cold of space." Kirk sighed heavily.

"Oh yeah, those old time mariners had the life: scurvy, infection, starvation, dysentery..."

"At least they were living in simpler times." Kirk took a pull at the amber colored alcohol. "Captains didn't have to worry about the entire galaxy."

"The galaxy isn't what's weighing on your mind right now, is it?"

"No." Kirk admitted.

"Me neither."

"Spock's supposed to outlive us both, Bones. That's how it's suppose to be."

"Maybe in another Universe." McCoy knocked back his own drink. "However, in our reality there are no guarantees for the future."

"I just can't imagine a future where Vulcans are little more than a display in a museum next to the ivory billed woodpecker, and the humpback whale."

"Hopefully it won't come to that."

Kirk nodded and accepted the offer to have his glass refilled. He stared out at the aurora of Warp speed silently. It did not escape his notice that his Chief Medical Officer kept insuring that his brandy glass never got too dry. Eventually the alcohol began to get the better of him. Bones reached over and took his glass away.

"So are you going to go pace the bridge pointlessly or are you going to try and get some rest?"

"Some rest actually sounds good about now."

"I was hoping the brandy would talk you into that." Bone nodded. "Come on, to your quarters."

"I have to admit I like this form of persuasion better than your usual hypospray jab to the neck."

"I considered using that method."

Kirk chuckled. Bones lead him to his quarters and then sought out some respite of his own. Kirk decided that a shower before bed was in order. The hot water slipping down his back did little to relieve the tension across his shoulders. After a long shower Kirk laid down on top of the sheets on his bed. When his right palm started itching he looked at it and found that there was a smattering of blood under his skin where he'd had his hand on the Romulan blood oath orb.

"That's going to bite me in the ass one of these days."

Spock had reluctantly agreed to keep what the Romulans had done a secret. Kirk feared that Starfleet might force him into an early retirement if they thought for one second that he was compromised by Romulans. Although no one was admitting to anything Kirk got the feeling that it wouldn't take much to start a war with the distant cousins of the Vulcans. Ever since the destruction of Vulcan the Romulans had been growing noticeably restless.

"One problem at a time." Kirk muttered to himself.

Submitting to sleep Kirk fell into a dreamless slumber. It was the high pitched whistle of the communications system that woke him some time later. Pulling on a clean uniform Kirk wandered over to the view screen and tapped on it. Scotty appeared looking considerably alarmed.

"Scotty, what's wrong? You break that ship by tinkering with it?"

"No, Sir. It's the trilithum."

"What about it?"

"I think there's something wrong with it."

"Wrong how?"

"I can't be sure, that's why I called you on visual, I think it's sinking."

"Sinking?" Kirk repeated confused.

"Take a look."

Scotty turned the camera onto the container that held the trilithum. Kirk leaned in closer to the screen and stared at the blue blob that hovered in the glass cylinder. The substance didn't look to be actively moving, but it certainly appeared to be lower in the container than he remembered it.

"Captain?" Spock's voice suddenly came over the intercom. "Engineer Scott is correct, the trilithum containment is failing."

"Spock? What are you doing on the line?"

"Mr. Scott did not contact you on a private line. I apologize for listening in."

"Not a problem. What are this implications of this failure?"

"When the trilithum reaches the bottom of the container and comes in contact with matter it will ignite." Spock replied.

"Ignite?"

"Big boom, Captain." Scotty clarified.

"Great. How much time do we have?"

"Impossible to calculate. We do not know why or how the container is failing. It is possible the trilithum itself is draining the container of energy and thus making the substance even less stable."

"How long until we reach the sun?"

"One hour and thirty-seven minutes." Spock replied instantly.

"Scotty, any way to goose a little more speed out of these two birds?"

"Not with any guarantee of arriving in one piece, Captain."

"Spock, suggestions?"

"Since any disruption of the smooth flight of the craft with the trilithum would no doubt lead to destruction I suggest we continue as we are, particularly since we do not know what time frame we are dealing with."

"Okay, steady as she goes, Mr. Scott." Kirk ordered. "Keep us posted. I'll be on the bridge."

"I will meet you there, Captain."

"No, Spock. Stay with Uhura. I will call for you when we are nearing Vulcan's sun."

"Very well."

Kirk was a little surprised by how easily Spock agreed to stay off the bridge. He feared that it was a testament to how ill the Vulcan truly was. Before heading off the bridge himself Kirk called down to McCoy to meet him. On the bridge everything seemed to be running smoothly. Kirk took his place in the Captain's chair as Bones arrived.

"Jim, what's going on?"

"The trilithum is threatening to detonate before we reach Vulcan."

"Of course it is." Bones sighed.

"Our luck has held somewhat until now, hopefully it will last a little while longer."

"That would be nice."

Kirk and Bones spent a tense hour and a half on the bridge. The vastness of space was frustrating at times like these, but there was nothing to be done about it. Kirk was waiting for the last minute to call Spock up to the bridge, however he never got the chance. With seven minutes till arrival Spock and Uhura both appeared. Spock's calm did not surprise Kirk, but Uhura's did. He decided that she must have either accepted Spock's probably fate or she truly believed that stopping the Vulcan sun was going to prevent it.

Spock walked up to stand by Kirk's side with his hands held behind his back. He stared at the forward screen looking for all the world like this was just a routine mission. Kirk looked over his shoulder and found that Uhura had taken her position at the communications board as well. She tapped on the screen and looked up at him.

"Captain, Mr. Scott is hailing."

"On screen."

"Captain," Scotty greeted with a forced smile "not to alarm anyone, but this trilithum stuff is starting to sink fast."

"The power loss to the container is most likely exponential." Spock announced. "If the trilithum is allowed to detonate at Warp speed the toxic debris could potentially be spread across the galaxy."

"Scotty, the instant we all drop out of Warp I want the autopilot on that thing set and then you beam your ass back over here."

"Aye, Sir. I've already got her all set to go. I'll just need to get my bearings when we get there and point her in the right direction."

"Spock, how close can we be to the sun when the trilithum hits?"

"It would be best to be as far as possible, however, under the circumstances I believe that we will be safe if we stay just within visual range."

"Good. Sulu, how much longer?"

"Two minutes, Captain."

Kirk nodded and everyone fell back into silence. When they dropped out of Warp the Vulcan sun was visible as a blue disk on the screen no larger than a quarter. Kirk ordered maximum magnification and the sun jumped into a larger view. The blue corona of the mid-sized star danced and flared around the star's nuclear heart.

"It seems a shame to destroy something so beautiful." Bones pointed out.

"It is far more dangerous than it is beautiful, Doctor."

"Scotty?" Kirk asked. "How's it going?"

"Almost got it, Sir. The trilithum is just a few inches from the bottom of the barrel."

"Spock, how close does the trilithum have to be to the sun?"

"It must reach the chromosphere to be effective."

"Scotty?"

"All set here, Captain."

"Good, execute."

"Aye, Sir."

Scotty set everything in motion and had the Enterprise beam him aboard. Everyone held their breath as they watched the elegant ship move away under impulse power. Scotty joined everyone on the bridge, panting heavily from running. With all eyes on the screen there was a collective gasp as the tiny ship on the screen veered sharply away from its gigantic target. Kirk turned to look at Scotty who had a look of horror on his face.

"Oops." Scotty whispered.

"'Oops'? 'Oops'?! Scotty, what do you mean 'oops'?!" Kirk demanded as he jumped to his feet. "What happened?!"

"She...uh...she must be equipped with an automatic collision avoidance system." Scotty said sheepishly. "I never even thought to check for it, it's a really rare and expensive system...that's a really nice boat."

"Scotty!" Kirk roared. "What the hell does Starfleet pay you for?!"

"My charm?"

"Captain," Spock interrupted "I must beam aboard the craft, disable the collision system, and reset her course."

"We'll both go."

"No, Captain. It may be necessary for the craft to piloted into the sun manually."

"Spo..."

"I am the logical choice for this mission."

"I am not letting you go alo..."

"Captain," Scotty piped in "we're running out of time before that trilithum makes a big pointless boom."

"Jim, please." Spock said calmly.

"Sulu," Kirk barked "get us close enough that ship to board her."

"Aye, Sir."

"Alright, Gentlemen, let's go."

Bones, Scotty, and Uhura followed Kirk, and Spock as they made their way hurriedly to the transport room. Scotty instantly got on the transporter controls and starting setting them up for a ship to ship transfer. Spock walked up onto the transporter pad and turned around. The run to the transporter room had left him breathless with a streak of green blood tracing from the corner of his mouth. Uhura joined him, planing to step away only at the last minute.

"Spock, we'll keep a lock on you." Kirk announced. "The instant you have the ship set for collision contact us, we'll bring you back."

"Yes, Captain."

Spock carded his hand into Uhura's hair and engaged her in a brief but passionate kiss before pushing her away.

"Energize, Mr. Scott." Spock ordered.

The transporter flashed to life and Spock was gone. Uhura turned and stared at Kirk with Spock's blood still on her lips. He stepped up to her, seeing that she was frozen to the spot. He brushed the blood away from her lips, and put his arm over her shoulders in a comforting embrace. Kirk glanced at the others before leading Uhura back up to the bridge with Bones close on their heels.

Back on the bridge they watched the craft helplessly. They had been forced to move dangerously close to the sun in order to transport Spock over to the other ship. The view screen automatically dulled the bright light of the Vulcan sun to keep from blinding everyone on the bridge. Even without being at full strength the Vulcan sun looked violent and indestructible. Few things made Kirk realize how small humans were than to be in close view of a star.

As the sleek ship turned and reversed her course the Vulcan sun seemed to react with a life and intelligence of its own. The blue tongue of a solar flare lashed out, and rocked the Enterprise violently. The smaller ship had been rolled by the flare as well, but remained on course towards the sun. She was far closer now than when she'd veered away before.

"Spock?" Kirk called. "Spock, what's happening? Damn it, Bones, why isn't he answering?"

"He might not be able to." Bones replied. "That ship took a hard rock."

"Captain," Sulu spoke up "we can only follow the ship to keep within beaming distance for another minute or so before we'll be trapped in the sun's gravity."

"Not to mention zee fact dat wee need some deestance between us and zee star's collapse." Chekov added.

Kirk looked to Bones for help with the decision. If Spock was flying the ship manually bringing him back onboard might ruin their last shot at the sun. If he was simply unconscious on the floor he was being left to die needlessly. Kirk knew what the logical decision was. Uhura was still pressed against him and she buried her face in his shirt, unable to watch.

"Scotty," Kirk called sternly "beam Spock back aboard, directly to the bridge."

"But, Sir..."

"Do it now!"

Scotty didn't even bother with the usual 'Aye, Sir'. After a few seconds that lasted an eternity Spock materialized on the bridge in front of the helm. Sulu threw the Enterprise into full reverse the moment Spock was onboard. Although he had arrived on his hands and knees, Spock was back on his feet before anyone had time to reach him to help him up. Spock's uniform visibly steamed as it came in contact with the relatively cold air of the Enterprise. Uhura hurried over to him. He collected her into a loose embrace, and brought his eyes up to meet the Captains.

"Spock?"

"I was successful."

"Why didn't you call us? Weren't you the one who told me that suicide is illogical?" Kirk teased with obvious relief.

"It was not a suicide attempt, Captain. I was forced to destroy the communications board in order to reach the collision avoidance device. I had insufficient time to notify you of the situation. However, since you had no way of knowing my status it was illogical of you to remove me from the ship."

"I wasn't using logic, Spock, I was using intuition."

"Intuition seems to work to your advantage more often than it should, Captain."

"Just be glad that it does."

Spock nodded and turned his attention to Uhura for a moment. He reached up and touched her cheek with a trembling hand. Sulu informed the bridge that the ship was about to impact the sun. Everyone's eyes snapped back to the view screen once again.

The ship could no longer be seen against the giant disk of the Vulcan sun. However the instant the ship came in contact with the star it reacted. The sun released another ship shaking volley of solar flares as it twisted in its death throws. The surface of the star looked as though it had crystalized before it began to shrink in on itself. In that moment the star had become a glittering blue diamond as the elements were crushed together.

It only took seconds for the collapsing star to hit a critical point and rush in on itself like a hole in the ocean refilling violently. The implosion left a mere speck left as the white dwarf was born from the cataclysm. Every panel on the bridge lit up red as they sang out a warning about the fast approaching shock wave.

"Warp us out of here now!"

"Aye, Sir!"

Sulu tilted the Enterprise away from the bright white dwarf and snapped the ship into Warp. Kirk took a deep breath as he realized that to whatever end the job was done. The Vulcan sun had been successfully reduced to an object that the black hole that circled it could manage should they collide. He looked over at Bones, who still looked to be in shock.

"Captain!" Uhura cried in distress.

Kirk's blood flashed to ice at the fear in Uhura's tone. He looked towards the helm and didn't see either one of them. It took him a second to realize that Spock must have finally collapsed. He and McCoy both rushed around the helm. Uhura had gathered Spock into her lap as best she could. Spock's eyes wandered without focus as he forced them to remain open. He swallowed convulsively as he fought for each breath. Managing to regain his focus he stared into Uhura's eyes.

"Nyota, I love you."

"I love you, Spock."

A faint smile touched Spock's rust colored lips. He looked up at Kirk and his expression turned serious once more.

"It has been an honor serving with you, Captain."

"Spock..."

Kirk didn't bother to finish. Spock had held on to consciousness as long as he could manage. Once Spock had passed out McCoy knelt down and pressed his fingertips against his throat. With his brow knit together Bones peeled back one of Spock's eyelids. Although his stare was out of focus Spock's pupil still reacted to the intrusion of light.

"Doctor?" Uhura asked anxiously.

"He over exerted himself. His pulse is strong, but slow."

"Let's get him down to medical." Kirk said softly.

"No." Bones shook his head. "Take him to his quarters, I can bring any medical equipment I need there."

"We'll meet you there." Kirk agreed.

Kirk reached down and gathered Spock up in his arm, and lifted him easily. The bridge crew watched mournfully as their Captain carried their First Officer off the bridge. Even though rumors had spread for the most part they had been kept in the dark on how serious his condition had become.

Uhura followed Kirk onto the turbo lift. She rubbed at her stomach over her unborn child without even realizing it. Kirk was unsure how to best break the silence of her misery so he just kept quiet. Any words of reassurance from him would sound hollow right now.

Spock started coughing, a sickly wet sound that left Kirk's golden uniform spattered in green. Uhura stared vacantly at the blood on his shirt. It was painfully clear to Kirk that she had lost what little hope she'd had left. Although each breath could easily be his last Spock continued to draw a new one.

Getting to Spock and Uhura's shared quarters Kirk laid his friend down with all the care of a mother putting down her newborn. Kirk took a few steps back to allow Uhura to sit down on the bed next to Spock. Anubis instantly jumped up on the bed and started rubbing against Uhura. She absent mindedly stroked his fur and he quickly settled down in her lap.

It wasn't long before McCoy arrived with a portable cart with various medical devices. He went to the far side of the bed from Uhura. He secured Spock forearm into a small machine that was shaped like a half cylinder. While the device flashed an irregular pattern to itself Bones injected his patient with a few hyposprays. After a few moments Spock's color improved somewhat. Satisfied Bones looked up at Uhura.

"The equipment will call me if anything changes." McCoy said softly.

"Thank you, Doctor." Uhura said sadly. "You two don't have to leave. He's your friend, you have just as much right to be here."

"We'll be right across the hall." Kirk assured. "When he wakes up we'll be here."

Uhura nodded and turned her full attention back to Spock. Kirk put his hand on Uhura's shoulder and gave her a supportive squeeze before following McCoy's lead to leave. They stepped out into the hall together. The door had closed behind them, but Bones still lead Kirk down the hall a ways before stopping. McCoy was looking like he was debating whether to break the news as a medical doctor or as a friend.

"Well, Bones?"

"You want my official medical opinion?"

"I might as well hear it."

"Forty-eight hours. Twenty-four if he sustained any radiation damage from the solar flaring. I didn't bother to check."

"We can take him off the Vulandin now, right?"

"We can certainly try, but, Jim...I'm not so sure that is going to help much at this point."

Kirk nodded vacantly. The relief of having collapsing the Vulcan sun successfully had been far too short lived. McCoy went to put his hand on Kirk's shoulder in a sign of sympathy and support, but Kirk backed away from him. He went to the nearest intercom, and snapped it on.

"Sulu?"

"Yes, Captain?"

"How far are we from Natala?"

"Three days under normal conditions."

"Scotty?"

"Aye, Sir?"

"Can you get us to Natala in twenty-four hours?"

"I may burn out a few dozen circuits, and ruin a coolant system or two along the way, Captain, but I believe I can."

"Do it."

"Jim, do you really think the Vulcans can help him any more than we can?"

"I don't know, but my intuition tells me to take him to them."


	38. Chapter 38

Chapter Thirty-eight

Spock had not expected to wake again so when he did he was understandably confused. Taking a breath brought a soothing wash of hot heavily scented air into his lungs. The natural heat was not something that could be reproduced by the systems aboard the Enterprise. This lead Spock to conclude that he had been removed from the ship.

Opening his eyes Spock was greeted by nothing more than a dark green haze. The blood that had been staining his eyes had finally spread, blinding him. Closing his sightless eyes Spock fought to make sense of his situation. He tried to speak, to call out to anyone who might be near by, however he was unable to produce any sound. Frustrated he scratched his nails against the hard surface he was laying on.

At first he didn't understand why he had been stretched out on a bed of stone. He thought that perhaps death had already come. Now he had to work out the rules of this new kind of existence. It wasn't until he felt someone sit down next to him that he decided that it wasn't logical to assume that this was death. After all he was still struggling to breath, and such an action would not be necessary in death.

The hand that gently touched Spock's face was Vulcan. He knew it the instant that contact was made. There was a certain energy behind a Vulcan's touch that no human could duplicate. When the stranger leaned in closer Spock caught the scent of female of advanced years. A Priestess he concluded, she could be nothing else.

Understanding that he was facing dying rather than death itself helped Spock organize his thoughts. He felt no fear, but he had a vague sensation that something was terribly out of place. The Priestess pressed her fingertip firmly into the skin under his eye and around his temple. He gasped sharply, and arched his back as she began invading his mind.

"Relax, Spock." The Priestess said softly. "Open your mind to me, tell me all you know so that it may live on."

Forcing himself to submit to the Priestess' treatment Spock allowed her to begin melding with his thoughts. The process of connecting with someone so close to death was a difficult, and delicate task for even the most skilled Vulcan. As the Priestess slowly meshed deeper into his mind Spock was overwhelmed with the need to fight her. Even only half conscious it took little effort for Spock to shut the Priestess out. Figuring that it was her own skill that was failing her she began to try once more.

"No..." Spock muttered weakly.

"Spock, I am only trying to help you."

Spock didn't want her help. With what was left of his strength Spock put his hand on the Priestess's shoulder and attempted to push her away. He did not have the physical power to move her, but she complied with his wishes and sat back. Exhausted Spock concentrated on continuing to breath.

When the Priestess reached out and touched him once more Spock forced himself to roll over on his side to escape her. The switch in position caused a violent wave of vertigo. Retching noisily he stained the plain stone alter with blood. The Priestess put her hand on his shoulder to keep him from falling off the edge and guided him to lay on his back once more. Panting heavily Spock took a moment to compose himself once more.

"Spock, the transfer of a katra is only possible if you accept it. The removal of your katra will ease your transition."

"I do not wish to be eased into death."

"Death is not to be feared, Spock."

"I am not afraid."

"Your refusal of a katra transfer is not logical."

"Priestess," Ambassador Tek'tiel broke in "if Spock wishes to fight for his life it is his right to do so."

"It is illogical to fight a battle you can not win."

"There is a small chance that he can survive if left alone, however the drain of transferring his katra at this point will kill him."

"Spock is beyond the reach of medical arts." The Priestess insisted.

"True, however is not beyond the reach of his own healing capabilities."

"If he fails his experience will be forever lost to the Vulcans."

"The choice is his." Tek'tiel pointed out.

"His will to live would need to be incredibly strong."

"I believe that it is."

Spock had not been paying attention to the conversation about him. He was too concerned with making sure that he continued to take each new breath. Spock came close to edge of passing out when Tek'tiel gathered him up in his arms and lifted him off the altar. He peacefully allowed the Ambassador to carry him.

"Thank you, Ambassador." Spock whispered.

"As your last living relative, it is my responsibility to see that your wishes are respected."

"Relative?"

"Your father named me your Bal'lat long ago."

"Logical..."

Teetering between consciousness and death Spock fell into silence once more. By the time they reached their destination Spock was barely aware of his surroundings. Tek'tiel laid him down on a soft bed. A delicate hand took his, and Spock's senses were filled with Uhura's scent. He tried to open his eyes to look up at her, however, everything remained dark. Lacking the strength to speak Spock listened to the world around him.

"Ambassador," Kirk said "what happened?"

"Spock has chosen to keep his knowledge and experience to himself."

"What?" Bones asked in surprise. "Is that really the logical thing to do?"

"No." Tek'tiel answered honestly. "However, if Spock is to have any chance at life this is his only path."

"But, aren't we talking about saving his soul?" Kirk asked. "Isn't that more important than his life?"

"It does not take transferring a katra to save one's 'soul', Captain. Vulcan will simply not benefit from all he has learned. I do not agree with his decision, but I respect it."

"Is there anything you can do for him?" Uhura asked quietly as she stroked Spock's hair.

"We have done all we can. His recovery or death depends on him now."

"Spock?" Uhura said softy. "Can you hear me?"

Spock wanted to respond to her, however he was unable to even tell if his eyes were open or not. The effort it took to try and speak pushed him over the edge and everything faded. The dreamless sleep that followed was eventually interrupted by an unusual sensation of warmth weighing down on his stomach. It wasn't until Anubis began purring that Spock was truly brought to the surface of the conscious world.

The cat was curled up on Spock's stomach purring as Uhura rubbed his soft fur. The relative chill in the air told Spock that night had fallen. It could have been days since he'd last woken for all he knew. Spock tried to move, but his body was not interested in responding. Trapped in his own flesh Spock managed a quiet moan.

"Doctor?" Uhura called softly.

Spock could hear McCoy jerking awake. He could visualize the doctor having fallen asleep in a nearby chair while on a night time vigil.

"Doctor, his eyes are open again."

"The tricorder still shows his heart rate well below even human norms." Bones muttered to himself.

"He's not really awake, is he?" Uhura sighed.

"I don't think so." Bones said gently. "The way his eyes wander pointlessly back and forth like that make me think it's mostly reflex."

"I wish he knew I was here."

"There is always the chance that he does know. Something must be keeping him with us. Personally I think it's you."

Spock struggled once more to give them a sign that he could hear them. He was able to lightly grip the sheets, but it was once again mistaken for a muscle spasm. Uhura's whole frame tensed as Spock arched his back slightly. He had no way of knowing that several times before this motion had been a prelude to violent seizures.

Uhura placed her palm against his chest to hold him down in case his motions become uncontrolled. Soothed by her touch Spock relaxed. After a few minutes of silence McCoy excused himself, informing Uhura that he was right across the hall if she needed anything. Once the doctor was gone she leaned down and kissed Spock's unresponsive lips.

"Keep fighting," Uhura whispered tearfully "I need you to come back to me."

Filling his lungs with the cool Natalian air Spock poured all of his effort into a slight nodded. He was unsure if Uhura caught the motion or not because he was instantly seized by darkness. Time was impossible to gauge in the world in between life and death. He rose to the surface a dozen times without truly waking before something brought him a little closer to the waking world. A cold liquid that tasted like watered down blood slipped down his throat.

"Bones," Kirk protested "you're going to drown him."

"Quiet, Jim, you're going to wake Uhura. She needs her sleep." McCoy hissed. "Besides he's not going to drown, he swallows convulsively."

"What is that?"

"A copper solution the Vulcans gave me." Bones replied. "If he's going to have any chance at replacing all the green blood he's lost he's going to need it."

"It's been two weeks, Bones." Kirk sighed. "What are the chances that he's going to pull through?"

"I don't know. If you'd asked me two weeks ago what the chances were that he'd still be breathing on his own after this much time I would have told you: 'zero'." Bones admitted. "It's amazing, I think there is something about the hot Natala air that is giving his system the edge it needs to keep going."

"So he's getting better?"

"Well...he isn't getting worse."

The doctor's semi-optimistic prognosis was the last thing Spock caught from his friend conversation. Sinking into the depths of his own mind Spock's previously dreamless episodes turned to chaotic nightmares. He feared that the nightmares were a direct result of the Vulcans attempting to contact his mind in a meld. Spock fought these invasions to the brink of death.

During a particular gory dream Spock was woken by a cold contact across his forehead. Uhura was holding a damp cloth against his skin to help break the fever that Spock was suffering from. Delirious Spock tried to speak, but even to his own ears it was little more than an incoherent babbling.

"I am sorry, Uhura." Tek'tiel's voice said softly. "Spock does not wish anyone to touch his mind. He will not allow me to help him."

"Thank you for trying."

"You must sleep, Uhura. Your own health is slipping."

Hearing that Uhura was suffering as well lanced fear through Spock's heart and he lost his tenuous grip on reality. Waking again he felt as though he should be able to speak. As his strength returned his frustration became more palpable. Fighting for control only gave the impression that he was flailing in the throws of restlessness. Unable to do anything for her ailing husband Uhura began singing in an attempt to sooth him.

Spock's ear caught the sounds of the ancient Vulcan lullaby and he calmed himself in order to appreciate its beauty. Uhura's sweet voice was thick with emotion as she continued to perform to an audience that she wasn't sure could hear her. As she came to the end of the song she leaned down and kissed Spock's forehead tenderly.

"I don't know if you understand anything I say, but I do know that it relaxes you when I sing." Uhura purred. "Everyone keeps telling me that you might not wake, that you could remain trapped like this for years. If your only choices are to stay like this or death...I just want you to know that I won't blame you if you chose death."

Spock's heart broke as he listened to Uhura break down into mournful tears. Opening his eyes Spock found that instead of the green curtain he now saw dark shapes. Uhura was so used to him opening his eyes without really seeing that she didn't notice the change in his focus. She laid down next to him and curled up against his side.

"I don't want to lose you," Uhura whimpered "but I don't want you holding on to a painful existence for my sake."

Uhura continued to cry until sleep took her. Spock closed his eyes again and listened to the sound of her breathing. Looking for some kind of control over his physical self Spock worked to match his breathing to her own. The warm Natala air felt good as it rushed into his lungs. Uhura had expressed her concern about his pain, but during these brief nearly conscious moments he felt a certain peace. The voices of the dead no longer whispered to him. The uncontrollably emotions no longer threatened to tear his mind apart.

As Spock slowed his breathing down even further to match that of his lover's sleep washed over him again. The nightmares had subsided making it easier to gain strength. Now and then he felt the sting of McCoy's hypospray, but for the most part repairing his poisoned blood was his own responsibility. He had no sense of wether he was achieving any goals or not. However, a strong voice brought him closer to the surface than he felt he had been in a long time.

"Jim, I am sorry it took me so long to arrive. The Romulans are crying foul over a new human colony near the Star Empire."

"I understand, Admiral."

"How is Spock doing?" Pike asked. "I have several medals to award him, I would rather not do so post-humorously."

"It's hard to say, Sir." Bones replied. "Anytime a Vulcan tries to contact Spock's mind he fights, and ends up have a seizure. Most of his motions seem to be reflex driven."

"He seems to enjoy it when Anubis purrs." Uhura noted.

"Spock," Pike spoke firmly to the Vulcan directly "the Enterprise needs her First Officer back...that's an order, Commander."

Spock felt like he should be able to answer, that after all his years of service fulfilling a direct order should be second nature. Pike reached out and brushed Spock's hand. A small static charge that had built up on Pike's skin from using his wheelchair discharged and gave Spock a slight shock. The tiny stab of pain was exactly what Spock needed to break through to the waking world.

"Aye, Sir..."

"Spock?!" Everyone gave a collective gasp.

Although unable to answer further Spock forced his eyes open and focused them despite the harsh light of the Natalian morning. Uhura practically pounced on him and engaged him passionate kiss that he was able to return somewhat. When she released him there was a trace of smile left on his face.

Spock looked around at the simple room that was open on the far wall to a large patio that looked out over the dry landscape of Natala. Kirk and Bones had similar looks of pure shock on their faces, but Pike and Uhura seemed as though they had been expecting his reaction. Uhura put her hands on either side of his face and smiled brightly.

"Spock, are you really awake?" Uhura asked desperately.

"Yes." Spock whispered.

"Damn it, Spock," Kirk chuckled "do you have any idea how worried we've been?"

"Worry is illogical...it changes nothing."

"Spock...you really are back." Bones beamed.

Still incredibly weak Spock closed his eyes and allowed himself to fall asleep. The next few days brought even greater gains in his over all health. Now able to sit up for short periods of time he became even more impatient about returning to work. McCoy had made it clear that Spock was going to need to spend at least the next month recovering his strength, but he felt two weeks would be sufficient.

Sitting up in bed Spock enjoyed a cup of Vulcan tea with Uhura. Her belly was slowly becoming more pronounced as the tiny life inside continued to grow. As they finished the warm drink there was a knock at the archway that lead into the room. Spock looked over and saw Kirk standing in the doorway.

"Can I come in?"

"Certainly." Spock replied.

Spock noticed that even though he had been invited inside Kirk hesitated. The Captain had become increasingly quiet around Spock as his health improved. Even Uhura had begun to notice the change in him. Getting out of bed Uhura kissed Spock's cheek.

"I'll leave you two." Uhura announced.

Spock nodded. Uhura glanced sadly at Kirk for a moment before stepping out of the room. Kirk walked over to the end of the bed and just stared at the floor for a moment. Spock chose not to speak.

"So..." Kirk said awkwardly. "The trilithum seems to have not only stopped the Vulcan sun, but it has also calmed the Vulcan spirits. No one else has fallen ill, and most of the victims have recovered."

"I have found myself in control of my emotions once again."

Silence fell over the room once more. Spock waited for the Captain to bring up the real reason why he'd come. Sighing heavily Kirk walked over and sat down the edge of the bed. Spock continued to watch him silently.

"Spock...why didn't you let the Vulcans take your katra?"

"For the same reason I refused the attempts of the Vulcans to meld with my mind during my recovery." Spock replied.

"Spock..."

"I promised to keep your oath to the Romulans a secret. To allow the Priestess into my mind would be to betray you to the Vulcans. They would have instantly reported your condition to the Federation."

"You shouldn't have risked so much to cover for me. The oath was my mistake, not yours."

"We both made the only choice we could."

"I guess we'll just have to face the consequences of them when the time comes." Kirk smiled sadly.

"Thus is the nature of the future."

"At least I'll have you to help guide me through it."

"Always, Captain."

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NOTE from the PHOENIX: Thank you all for joining myself and the crew of the Enterprise on this rough ride!! I enjoyed writing this and all of your comments and encouragment so much! I'll be keeping you up to date on any chances of it being published. If Pocket Books does pick up this story you can all be assured that it will be spit polished with a few changes and extra twists so that hopefully it will be fun even for those of you who have already read the story! Hugs and Love to you all!!!

Keep your eyes open for the sequel..... Star Trek: Treason


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